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Thread: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

  1. #1
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    This started as a reply to the CSI Korn song thread, but I got going, and it's way the hell off-topic now, so here we go. Mr. C was mentioning a shorter version of a Korn song...

    Funny you should mention the length thing--in my last club it didn't matter, in fact the longer the songs the better...

    The rules about making sure the songs are shorter so the women in VIP made good money had to get tossed out--the crucial factors became:

    1) Keeping a dancer on stage--this was extremely tough sometimes. I'd go back in the dressing room to see who would actually be able to go up next, what their mental condition was, etc., and especially towards the end of the night, have to deal with a succession of pleading appeals, whining excuses, and fervent entreaties to be spared. This is no exaggeration, trust me. Plus you never knew who'd be coked up, passed out, or simply vanished with no explanation.

    I'd have to play counsellor, referee, coach, soothing diplomat, and evil hardass--depending on the dancer's personality, who they were pissed off at, how much time I had left, and how desperate I was to find someone, lol. Sometimes it'd be a combination of roles, in succession even.

    Having somehow gotten the dancer onstage, it was often necessary to play longer songs while I went back again and did it all over.


    2) Trying to keep the better looking dancers onstage so the guys wouldn't run away from the stage and out the fucking door. This is no exaggeration, either!

    I have literally seen it happen.

    No offense to any dancers out there who might get indignant at my seemingly crass disrespect--I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about women who had no business being on any stage, anywhere--but there they were.

    The one owner would request I keep them off, but this made it tougher to keep the stage going. The other owner would get mad if I didn't put them up, with certain really bad exceptions--and I never knew which until he came up and was wondering why on earth I had put one of them up! Because you guys hired her, for chrissakes!?

    The manager wanted everyone up, period--no matter if they were beautiful, hideous, distraught, or ready to kill anyone who came near them (and you think I'm kidding!) and wanted me to compensate for the sometimes seriously deficient dancers by running a circus-style show, complete with fucking conga line dances with the customers, I kid you not! I managed to get out of that, but he was never happy with me for failing to do so.

    Fuck conga lines, I would go hide on my nights off, when the other DJs occasionally knuckled under and tried it. They'd send out dancers to get the guys to do it, and they'd always come to me since I was nice. But the last thing I'm going into a topless bar (even a freaky wild place like this one) for is to join a fucking conga line, sorry. But I digress...

    So I would play longer songs for the better looking dancers, of which we did have a varying supply. If you ever sit up in a booth and try to keep guys entertained, tipping, etc. and hope to christ you can keep the energetic momentum going, you'll understand very rapidly why I did this.

    Now, though--in my current new club--the dancers actually have to go onstage or they get in trouble, instead of me. Also the dancers are almost all pretty cute, so it's no longer an issue.

    Furthermore, the club requires me to cut the damned songs at 2 minutes by the end of the night, and not much more than that earlier in the night. They are always running in and saying be sure to cut the songs, be sure to cut the songs! Yeah, if I can breathe, I will! So I'm under an entirely different kind of stress, and shorter songs are a real prize, hahaha!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  2. #2
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    I think I mentioned this once. Sometime during my 6 year tenure at Delilah's (94-00), one of the owners who was rarely there came up and said "Uh...Christopher....why are there 3 ugly fat girls on my stage?" And I replied, not in a smartass tone btw, "Well, sir....why are there 3 ugly girls working here? Is there a secret rotation nobody told me about? Hot. Hot. Fat. Beastly. Hot. Ugly.?". You know, he never brought it up again. And several girls got fired.

    I have worked in a few dives, Djoser. A few of which get glowing reviews from custies and dancers alike on here, but f'n DIVES regardless. So, I feel your pain on this one. Fuck conga lines. Seriously. I'm not a wedding DJ for a reason. I do understand the slightly longer song for a smokin' hot girl thing, but I dont understand the back the same song up for 5 minutes thing I have heard of in Texas and other places. Long songs if I really need something...yeah. People forget that we DJ's do occasionally need to piss, or worse....god forbid.
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

  3. #3
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    I've had the "pleasant" experience of replaying the same song over not once,not twice, but three frickin times while the girl on stage refused to get off. Where are the large hook thingies when you need them??? In her defense the crowd loved her and continued to keep throwing cash up, I actually played her two more songs. Well my DJ brethren, what in the world do you think happened next??? All those lovely ladies who would do anything and everything to keep from going on stage now wanted 3+ song sets. If I am ever responsible for a conga line than I better damn well be in Cancun!!!

  4. #4
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    OK, so sometimes the DJ will play the same song over, instead of another one that's similar or that she likes? Never heard of that, but I have my CDs all very close to me so I can grab something quickly, even if it's not exactly what might be best.

    But yeah, I have seen the "Hey, I want three songs too!" syndrome from women who were begging to be kept offstage 20 minutes ago, lol...

    Funny thing is--it may seem like I was bitching in the OP, and in a way I was--but the experience was funny as hell, even while I'd be tearing my hair out, I'd be laughing about it and thinking 'Who would ever believe this shit?' As a 'Life Experience', for humor and outrageuos fascination, it was hard to beat. Believe it or not, I much prefer it to the idea of announcing 3-4 girls at once and saying nothing special about any of them, even if it might pay a lot more, like in the big factory club here.

    But the whole 'conga line mentality' drove me batshit, as well as the manager's perception that I was an inferior DJ for failing to comply! The fact that I had more balls and imagination than the other two or three DJs put together meant nothing to him (he kept bringing new ones in to see who could run a circus show). Which is why I left...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Anney Dancer 2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    I think it should always be up to the girls themselves or more often the house mum to get them onstage. Why the hell does the dj have to do that? Doesnt make a lotta sense 2 me. Especially when time is limited.

    I used to do 7min songs whenever our dj wanted a break just to help out. Doesnt seem a big deal to me but i knew girls who didnt even wanna do 2mins onstage most days.



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  6. #6
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    Well, there isn't a house mom, and if i left it up to the dancers, at least half of them wouldn't go up, period. Even the ones who still genuinely like to dance are often tired, busy working a customer up to VIP, or possibly pissed off or depressed.

    I'm back there, so this is again an issue, lol...

    But no fucking conga lines--the hell with that! And I'm about to start looking in Orlando or maybe other Florida cities now. Or I might just get the hell out of Florida, who knows.

    Moderator, this guy is rambling again, nail his ass!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  7. #7
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    Just because you're rambling doesn't mean Blade wants to nail your ass. Or perhaps he does, who am I to say. I will, however, say this: Fuck Florida. Fuck that whole entire state right in its fucking ear.

    Other than that...peace, love and kittens folks. >:~)
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

  8. #8
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    Yeah, I'm beginning to feel that way more and more. If I wasn't a warm weather addict I'd probably have left long ago...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  9. #9
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    Quote Originally Posted by MrChristopher
    I will, however, say this: Fuck Florida. Fuck that whole entire state right in its fucking ear.


    We are so gonna have a sandwich and talk politics this month while I'm in your neighborhood.

  10. #10
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    to Anney Dancer (2nd)

    What house mum?? Even when I've worked with them, they too could have little luck with
    some of the "little princess's". Ya ever see a girl have a frickin' nervous breakdown right in your booth? Screaming at top of lungs and sobbing hysterically while everyone in audience is looking at you like "what the hell is he doing to her"??? If they made a big enough spatula I might have had a chance with some of the "deadweight" I've come across. (At least could've saved a sore neck or two!!) Djoser; It ain't just Florida, what you describe was my last gig to a "T".

  11. #11
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    Well it's true that many of the phenomena I've described are universal--or at least certainly not limited to this state.

    What Mr.C is describing goes beyond the stripclub milieu, though. There is an absence of appreciation for culture here that I have never seen in any of the many other states I have traveled to, and I've been to more than half by far.

    A friend of mine from Vegas visited here recently, and introduced me to another friend of his who made over a hundred grand a year selling fine art there, and has traveled all over the world--but moved here a few months ago to get into real estate.

    The guy was pretty sharp, and already had a good idea of who the movers and shakers were in the real estate world here--but he also described Daytona in particular very accurately as being a place where "...never have I seen art as being so undervalued, in my entire life..."

    Now where the hell are Juliette de Sade, Blade, and especially that asshole Djoser--I'm reporting this guy for being off-topic, and thread jacking again...

    This has nothing to do with conga lines!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  12. #12
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    Well considering in some cultures "conga lines" could be considered "artistic expression" and the thread was about short or long songs I believe theres some wiggle room!
    I don't want to even think about the nightmare that Mr.Chris accurately described as "god forbid" but that is damn good reason for long songs (either that or investing in medical devices) Anyhow, least ya seem to have a weekend night off!!!

  13. #13
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Maimed
    ...Anyhow, least ya seem to have a weekend night off!!!
    No way would they take me back as head DJ, lol...

    They found some guy who's done it for 20 years, and has thoroughly mastered the art of saying "MMmmebehavvanaaffabbulooonissonnninnexxtuupinnnoo ocummmmineytchaawaannaa, Mandy!"

    Which is actually fine with me, let them bug him about doing conga lines, and I can relax while I look elsewhere on my nights off (unless I'm here, that is, lol).
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  14. #14
    Senior Member Anney Dancer 2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short songs, long songs, and conga lines...

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser
    They found some guy who's done it for 20 years, and has thoroughly mastered the art of saying "MMmmebehavvanaaffabbulooonissonnninnexxtuupinnnoo ocummmmineytchaawaannaa, Mandy!"
    Ha ha ha ha ha... oohhhhh i thnk i just wet myself laughing DJoser!!! HAAAAAA!!



    "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde."
    Dolly Parton.

    "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
    Aristotle Onassis

    "She looked as if she'd been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say when."
    PG Woodhouse.

    "When women go wrong, men go right after them."
    Mae West.

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