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Thread: conservative exhibitionist

  1. #1
    Curious Guest
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    Default conservative exhibitionist

    I come from a realy religious family, very conservative, and shush shush about anything that has to do with.. fornication? But the thing is I'm very open about my sexuallity, and like being watched etc etc the madonna complex. I freeze up when all focus is on me, but ive done things in chat rooms and i love the attention i get.. I confuse myself. I havent started dancing yet, and it seems like I would have lot of fun because i already like the idea of men watching me but I'm afraid of freezing up. I dont know if this is a quarrel between the morals i was raised with and what i have fun doing.. Anyway I can break through this or come to means?

  2. #2
    Ravenna
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    Default Re: conservative exhibitionist

    i don't know you or your situation so i can only make sweeping generalizations but here goes. your post reminded me of many young women i know who crave attention, or perhaps specifically the male gaze, and feel ashamed about it. Usually the shame comes from how sexuality is handled or not handled at home. the way i see these girls deal with it is- first they escape their family, this can be achieved by just leaving (running away, or getting kicked out) or perhaps by entering a distant college or they arrange to travel if they can afford it or they pursue romantic interests who will sweep them up and away, or they do not escape physically but alientate themselves so much in their rebellion that their parents no longer have any control and they are basically independent.

    After they escape the watchdog, and feel what it feels like NOT to answer to anyone, and for that matter, perhaps not be able to depend on anyone, they are able to experiment. Usually this experimentation consists of playing with members of every gender and in every situation and it runs an amazing specturm. Playing can be drinking games at frat parties, playing can be french kissing in a club bathroom, playing can be flirting with the cashier, playing can be casual encounters on craigslist, playing can be fuck-me heels and a push-up bra at the bar, playing can be alone with your hands, playing can be crafting short stories that turn you on, playing can be dancing naked for money, playing can be singing on stage.

    I can't relate personally to having some sort of personal sexual revolution that defied my parents' moral authority, but what i can say is that first you should think about how sexuality is different than fornication. Fornication is what allows for our genetic material to get passed on and what makes the human species grow. Sexuality is as much about putting a penis in a vagina as it is about a muscian oozing sex appeal as it is about masturbation as it is about hanging out naked more as it is about two women together or two men or 3 people together or whatever.

    You say yourself- you confuse yourself- this right here makes me think whatever you do, don't start dancing right away. A confused state of mind is not where you need to be in this industry or it will destroy you. there is nothing online, nothing in a chat room, nothing on stripperweb that will prepare you for what happens in a club when all eyes are on you, and guess what, you're getting a really creepy feeling from them and don't know why you're doing what you're doing, and you don't even want to be there.

    you may just be a natural performer, that's okay, that's fanstastic and many women never nurture that part of themselves, but there's many outlets for that that will keep you safer and saner than this business.

  3. #3
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: conservative exhibitionist

    Wow ^^ Great response! You said it really really well!


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  4. #4
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    Smiley Re: conservative exhibitionist

    ....thanks! I fully understood everything and get what youre saying. I do agree, because I know how much i know about sex/sexuality, what i know about myself, what i've done etc. But sometimes I do feel that I'm not emotionally and mentally read to start dancing. I figured, dancing is just dancing. But i know its alot more.. I definitely have alot more thinking to do and growing i guess. We'll see. I was looking to stripping as a form of liberation. I like to dance, and i do feel that that kind of rebellion would make me feel, free or that i wouldnt be judged on.. Though I will. Guess i just have to wait and see what happens, But thanks for that response, it really helped

  5. #5
    Veteran Member KennedyWinters's Avatar
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    Default Re: conservative exhibitionist

    That was awesome Ravenna, totally awesome...I went though all that but not as an escape- so much an exploration of the TABOO things in life. Because my mom and dad were like productive hippies with really loving open attitudes towards the whole she-bang. I've been honest with them (well mainly my mom) about doing porn, having girlfriends, drinking binges, fetish community, substance abuse, everything and anything that comes up and I think it's paid off....once you run the gamut and see that nothing you do is really going to piss off the ones that love you, and the sky won't fall on your head it loses it's appeal. Being Bad that is. So I guess I'm coming from a place of NOT alot of boundaries and just needed to set my own eventually. My parents were always like "What do you think the puishment should be?" so I constantly broke any rules they halfheartedly tried to set up....

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