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Thread: Husband Wants Baby . HELP.

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    Member babydolly's Avatar
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    Default Husband Wants Baby . HELP.

    My man keeps saying he would like another baby in the future.
    I really dont want another .
    Ever. I`m blessed and delighted with the family I have now.

    I told him this but I dunno if it has sunk in.

    I dont want to hurt him but I have no interest . . .Has anyone here had this problem?
    "Glamour...Could Make Youth Seem Age ...And Age Seem Youth....All Was Illusion...Nowt Was The Truth..."


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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband Wants Baby . HELP.

    My Husband and I decided (mutually) a year or two ago that we weren't going to have another. Well, that didn't work out too well, as you can see by my signature. It just happened and shocked the hell out of the both of us (but it shocked me the most!).

    You've already told him, but it wouldn't hurt to sit him down and talk to him again about it. And make sure that you're taking the necessary steps to prevent a pregnancy. I'm getting the tubes tied directly following the C-Section this time around, so there will be no more babies. I'm making damn sure of that.

    Don't get me wrong---I'm happy. But, it took a while to get to this point. And I know that I'll love this baby as much as my other 3 kids... But, when things aren't planned and they sneak up on you... It knocks you on your ass.

    Talk to him.. Tell him how you feel. If you can get him to see things your way, you can start looking into permanent methods of birth control.

    Good luck!

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    Senior Member HoneyHITZmore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband Wants Baby . HELP.

    you never know if you might change your mind in the future... right now, i want one, hubby doesnt, lol, so im in the opposite boat as you, but you never know what you might want later.... i mean rhia did NOT want anymore (lol) but shes completely ecstatic over the newest, so I think you should see where things go, maybe in a few years you'll want another but good luck!

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband Wants Baby . HELP.

    <shrug> if you really are happy where you are at as a family financially and emotionally, then I don't see anything wrong with having your tubes tied. But I might put aside some eggs just in case you DO change your mind and you don't want to adopt.
    Also, unless you convince the guy over to your side of thinking, it's probably fair for you to get your tubes tied instead of him getting a vasectomy (I know, completely unfair since his is cheaper and faster and guys tend to get less crap from doctors about their decision.)
    But you are going to have to talk to him, and listen to why he wants more. Maybe you can fill an emotional gap that he may be feeling some other way.

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    Member babydolly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband Wants Baby . HELP.

    Thanks for replying!

    I cant tie my tubes as I will be carrying a baby for a close friend in a couple of years.
    It will be her eggs but she is having problems....so I will be the worlds finest-lookin` suitcase/envelope for 9 months.

    I know what it is with the big-daddy.....He loves babies.

    Both our families do and enjoy nothing better than a new-born.

    There is no emotional gap....He just wants me to present him with a new cuddly bundle every year!

    HoneyHITZmore maybe we should swap husbands LOL
    "Glamour...Could Make Youth Seem Age ...And Age Seem Youth....All Was Illusion...Nowt Was The Truth..."


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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband Wants Baby . HELP.

    Quote Originally Posted by HoneyHITZmore
    you never know if you might change your mind in the future... right now, i want one, hubby doesnt, lol, so im in the opposite boat as you, but you never know what you might want later.... i mean rhia did NOT want anymore (lol) but shes completely ecstatic over the newest, so I think you should see where things go, maybe in a few years you'll want another but good luck!

    And then you also might NEVER change your mind in ten years. Don't want kids - ever. And sterility has helped with that!

    If YOU don't want them DON'T have them. A child is a LIFETIME responsibility... do you want to put YOUR resentments on a child you never wanted? It's better to have a husband angry at you for not having another than to raise a child in a life of resentment because you had one you didn't.

    Not having one effects two lives.
    Having one effects 3.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband Wants Baby . HELP.

    You know, I often wouldn't suggest this, but it seems like your husband has a lot of affection to give to those he feels needs him. This doesn't have to happen through your uterus. I am the same way, and spent a lot of time working in the local boys and girls homes in my town.

    Oh wow. heh, I just realized... 7 years.... I worked at one, and was thanked by the girl I played with daily just the other day. Heh, talk about coming full circle....that was 7 years ago... I hope she's well.

    Anyways, I don't know if this suits him, but any time is good time, and these people need to be cared for.

    Hope this helps. And I'm with you on this one. 1 Vasectomy please. The world doesn't want 1 mast let alone more.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband Wants Baby . HELP.

    Quote Originally Posted by babydolly
    I cant tie my tubes as I will be carrying a baby for a close friend in a couple of years.
    It will be her eggs but she is having problems....so I will be the worlds finest-lookin` suitcase/envelope for 9 months.
    That's a wonderful thing to do. Is your Hubby alright with that though? Will he be okay with watching your belly grow and knowing that the baby's not staying with you? I'm just a little worried about that aspect, since he wants a baby so badly.

    On the other hand, I was going to do the same for my Sister and her ex-Husband. They had 8 miscarriages over 3 year's time. They had approached me about being a surrogate, and I was going to do it. I was single at the time, though.

    Either way, I think it's a great thing to do for someone who can't carry a child. Kudos to you.

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