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Thread: Self-Defense

  1. #26
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    what the hell r u all talking about u know its so easy to talk on the forum but when the real thing happens,u r gonna act by instinct and that is what fucks u up,acting based on ur instincts and that is what u will do in case u r attacked in case u have no self defense training.

    jeeeeeeeeeeez.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser
    I'd say take some classes--reading a book or getting pointers here is all well and good, but if your body isn't used to throwing a punch, say, it's not going to work nearly as well, especially if the person attacking you knows what they are doing.
    You're quite correct, a poorly executed 'defensive' attack, delivered without skill or serious intent to harm, will only piss them off.

    But if the woman is serious about learning, some of the advice here is very, very good...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    It all comes down to self-worth, really. You have to believe you are a goddess, that you don't deserve any physical harm, that no one has the right to do anything to you that you don't want them to do. After that, it gets a whole lot easier. I have been there, and done that. I've been on both sides of the whole self-worth coin, so to speak. Beleive in you, and your right to be a woman, and still be respected. I watched a movie once with a really powerful quote in it - "every woman, any woman, has the divine animal right to protect herself and her offspring". I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide is best for you.

  4. #29
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    I'd recommend getting the book "The Gift of Fear" (forgot the author). I had to read it for the self-defense class I took through my old university and thought it was excellent. In addition to all of the above suggestions, make sure you understand Basic Car Maitenence. How to change a tire, tire pressure check, oil, etc. This will prevent you from being stranded. (since stranded women can potentially be approached by men who don't REALLY want to help you out.

    I don't know if it's been mentioned, but when walking to your car or apartment, make sure you already have your keys OUT in your hand before you leave the door. Not only does it make for one less distraction, it also helps for an easier escape, and doubles as a good weapon. (Though my weapons of choice are four-prong lug wrenches and large Maglite flashlites. ^_^)

    Also, keep your head up and don't be afraid to look at people. If there's an attacker, you'll need to see them coming. Also, it will help to give the police a good description.

    What sort of things does your Self Defense class involve? After most of the semester was over, our instructor brought in a group called Model Muggers. It involves a very padded up man who will attack each class member one at time, and give you a chance to react and use your skills. See if this is available in your area, and if your class isn't going to use it, suggest it.

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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    I would also suggest sparring with a man--not just boxing, per se--but martial arts type sparring, wrestling moves, etc. Get used to the size and how to handle it without fear or intimidation.

    One thing great about jujitsu or aikido style martial arts is the concept of using the attacker's own weight and momentum against him--this is one way in which smaller size and especially height can be an actual advantage--if you know what you are doing.

    I used to spar with a guy who was about 5'3" , tough as hell, and very deadly--he reinforced this impression quite thoroughly in my mind, lol...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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  6. #31
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    There is one thing my Military ex taught me ( besides how to shoot a gun ) grab a thumb if it's possible and bend that sucker all the way back. Even the biggest guy will go down. That hurts! A lot!

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    I think that carrying a gun is a really fucking stupid idea, because most civilians just want to have the confidence of waving it in an attacker's face and saying, "Ooohh look at my piece." If you're gonna own a gun, you'd damn well better be prepared to use it. You'd better take it to a shooting range and practice, you'd better be prepared to blow a hole in somebody, you'd better be aware of the risks.

    Yes, I'd recommend The Gift of Fear to anybody.

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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Mace works, ask my husband about the time I accidently maced him. LOL
    AmyLynne

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    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Quote Originally Posted by Apple72
    Is that true that there are guys the like getting kicked in the balls?, what's up with that?.
    Too funny. When I was very new to SC's a dancer with knee high boots kicked me softly in the groin. Luckily she didn't glance me in the wrong way or I'd be on the floor. And I was very suprised that johnson really approved.

    In most cities today, there are womens' shelters or other groups that offer free self-defense classes for women. Otherwise use mace or pepper spray. Walk with it in your hand. If you don't have it, walk with your car key in your hand like it's a weapon.

    Be careful but remember that the guys you run into at night are nervous too. They know that with some women the default assumption is that they are attackers and they get pretty scared too.


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
    It's about those moments which leave you breathless."

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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Quote Originally Posted by Krazyjane
    I think that carrying a gun is a really fucking stupid idea, because most civilians just want to have the confidence of waving it in an attacker's face and saying, "Ooohh look at my piece." If you're gonna own a gun, you'd damn well better be prepared to use it. You'd better take it to a shooting range and practice, you'd better be prepared to blow a hole in somebody, you'd better be aware of the risks.

    Yes, I'd recommend The Gift of Fear to anybody.
    You are entitled to your right to think that carrying a gun is a really fucking stupid idea.

    Then again, I am entitled to carry a gun. That too is my right. Brainless and thug-like individuals have given responsible gun owners a bad name.
    Personally I am VERY glad that Lady Glock goes with me when I am in my car, by myself, in the dead of night coming home from work. I am not so arrogant to believe that my small self can fend off an attacker twice my size.

    Those odds do not appeal to me. I like all of my parts exactly where they are. I enjoy my somewhat undisturbed state of mental health.
    Women victims of physical violence can always move on with their lives and I applaud each and every brave female for doing so, then again, I would NOT like to add myself to their ranks.

    So whatever advantage I can have, I'll take it. I would much rather be added to the list of fucking stupid, than to the list of raped and beaten.

  11. #36
    Veteran Member NoCoverLover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Mace and pepper spray can both do the job. Someone earlier said that PS won't affect someone amp'ed up on whatever. This is not completely true!

    Mace will not affect someone in that state, but pepper spray will. It's an alkaline (opposite of an acid) but has the same effect. It will cause the lungs to spasm. That has nothing to do with what he or she is feeling. It's physical and always occurs and gives you an advantage!

    Of course the attackers reaction to that will vary depending on the individual and the previous experiences they've had with it. However brief the reaction might be, it's a temporary advantage. Most guys will simply stop what they were doing, for a not too short (in fighting terms) time.

    When fighting with someone bigger than you are, even a small advantage can be used.

  12. #37
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin
    It all comes down to self-worth, really. You have to believe you are a goddess, that you don't deserve any physical harm, that no one has the right to do anything to you that you don't want them to do. After that, it gets a whole lot easier. I have been there, and done that. I've been on both sides of the whole self-worth coin, so to speak. Beleive in you, and your right to be a woman, and still be respected. I watched a movie once with a really powerful quote in it - "every woman, any woman, has the divine animal right to protect herself and her offspring". I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide is best for you.
    A woman walking around with that attitude in a bad part of town is likely to get herself killed, even if she is packing heat. The problem with guns is too many people carry them around like an insurance policy.

    What the gun packing crowd seems to forget is that the most potent weapon an assailant has over a potential victim is not that he's stronger, or faster, or meaner, its having the element of surprise. An attacker is always focused on getting his victim. A victim is not always focused on being attacked.

    Quote Originally Posted by KrazyJane
    I think that carrying a gun is a really fucking stupid idea, because most civilians just want to have the confidence of waving it in an attacker's face and saying, "Ooohh look at my piece."
    And the fact is that unless the assailant is stupid, it never happens that way. Most attackers know that their victims are likely to repsond, and quite possibly with weapons, so they have to attack and disable their victim quickly before they can utilize those weapons.

    The best safety advice for dancer's I've ever read was the one from Stripper-FAQ.
    http://stripper-faq.org/safety.htm

    Paticularly this part:

    The most effective way to survive is to be scared; anything that makes you brave makes you more likely to walk into a dangerous situation. If you have a gun in your purse you might be more likely to take that shortcut home, or take a ride with a man you don't know very well or any number of risky things.

    In short, if a dangerous situation can possibly be avoided, it should ALWAYS be avoided. Respect and deservedness have absolutely nothing to do with it. A gal (or even a man for that matter) cannot have the mindset of "I have a right to walk down that dangerous street". If packing a gun is going to give someone that mindset, it may end up being more hindrance than help, and possibly a tragic hindrance if the assailant wrestles it away from his prey before they can use it to defend themselves.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Doc, what I meant by that was not that I carry myself without a liberal dose of realism. But honestly, whether you have a gun, mace, or self defense courses, unless you have an innate sense of self worth you won't be able to make the gut decision that you are worth protecting, and that hesitation will get you killed, or raped, or whatever.

    I get a lot of flak for carrying, myself, but you know what? I am well trained, a great shot, and I know what to do if I get in a bad situation. It doesn't mean I take risks, or any less precautions on my part. But it DOES mean I have a significant defense, even if a 6foot plus man is headed my way. Any woman who thinks that a six week class at the Y is formidable enough to stop 6'1 billy joe who recently got out of prison is a fool. A gun in the hands of a trained, confident woman levels the playing field significantly.

    And Crow? Amen.

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    Veteran Member NoCoverLover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Hey Doc, that article gives sound advice. You best defense is not to need one at all!

    Although the advice is sound, the motivation for it is not. I'm only 5'6" myself and a lot of guys easily outweigh me 2:1. You can stop someone twice your size. But make no mistake, it takes training and constant practice, and a healthy does of motivation to actually carry through with it. If any one of those is lacking, you're in serious trouble.

    Another point in the article is the torso shot. When you are confronted, you don't have much time to react, so initially a torso shot is best. If you miss your mark by a bit and the attacker doesn't cease, your second shot should be a head shot, not a torso shot! If, god forbid, your assailant is wearing body armor, the head shot is your only option.

    I myself like the .44 magnum. Yes, it's too big for some, but damn it'll get the job done!

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin
    Doc, what I meant by that was not that I carry myself without a liberal dose of realism. But honestly, whether you have a gun, mace, or self defense courses, unless you have an innate sense of self worth you won't be able to make the gut decision that you are worth protecting, and that hesitation will get you killed, or raped, or whatever.

    I get a lot of flak for carrying, myself, but you know what? I am well trained, a great shot, and I know what to do if I get in a bad situation. It doesn't mean I take risks, or any less precautions on my part. But it DOES mean I have a significant defense, even if a 6foot plus man is headed my way. Any woman who thinks that a six week class at the Y is formidable enough to stop 6'1 billy joe who recently got out of prison is a fool. A gun in the hands of a trained, confident woman levels the playing field significantly.

    And Crow? Amen.
    Yes'mam. Anyone who doesn't train or get trained to use a handgun properly is well, stupid.

    I'm not saying that self defense classes are wrong or bad or that any of the other good advice given here should not be taken. Nor am I saying that handgun usage is for everyone. As it's not. YOU have to do what is best for YOU, what works for YOU. What YOU feel comfortable with.

    I feel, as others do, being women who are smaller and easily breakable. Every single option of self protection should be researched and studied. This includes having a gun.

  16. #41
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    That's one of the reasons I don't have a gun...

    But I have to admire a woman who knows how to use one.

    As far as the fear thing goes--of course it's better to avoid dangerous places and situations, but if you have no choice but to walk through a nasty area, you better hide that fear--maybe it's smarter for a woman to be afraid sometimes but by god if it shows, you are much more likely to get messed with.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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  17. #42
    AlexxaHex
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    My ex-military dad taught me how to responsibly use a rifle, but I can't very well carry one of those to and from the club.
    I'd be interested in learning how to use and carry a handgun. I live in Hollywood, which is filled with criminials and drug addicts. I am in a fairly safe neighborhood, but you never know who is lurking.

    I certainly don't take the use of guns lightly....one of the biggest and most important things he told me was to never aim it at anyone unless you mean to pull the trigger. You really have to be prepared to use it - and there are consequences to pulling that trigger. Something that is hard for some people to accept (especially women who are taught to be docile and peace loving - we are rarely taught to fight) is that you must be prepared to murder someone...even though it would be in self-defense. It takes a lot of will and strength.
    It's a very mental thing that can't be learned in a class...it comes from some deep internal need to protect yourself. And I believe the above comment about needing a lot of self worth. You have to value yourself above everyone else, even if the attacker is someone you know. Those that attempt to destroy you deserve to be destroyed.

    A friend of mine was attacked by a guy with a gun. Somehow she managed to disarm him and beat the shit out of him. Granted, she is a bigger than average woman, but she did it. She valued herself enough to not become a victim and reacted the way she should have.

    There is a lot to be said for pepper spray in the right situation. Another friend carries it with him at all times, and has had to use it on occasion. The use of pepper spray leaves you with the option to RUN, which is usually the best option. Once he is slowed down and in pain, run to the nearest public place with lots of people.
    Running can save your life. I once had to out run someone. He was drunk, psychotic and threatening to strangle me in the bushes, so I ran to a pizza shop and called the cops. I didn't get the REVENGE I wanted, but I was safe. That was the most important thing.

    I don't think carrying a gun is wrong or cowardly, but you must be mentally prepared, and schooled on how to use it safely. It is everyone's right to own one and use it in the right place and time.

  18. #43
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish
    A woman walking around with that attitude in a bad part of town is likely to get herself killed, even if she is packing heat. The problem with guns is too many people carry them around like an insurance policy.

    What the gun packing crowd seems to forget is that the most potent weapon an assailant has over a potential victim is not that he's stronger, or faster, or meaner, its having the element of surprise. An attacker is always focused on getting his victim. A victim is not always focused on being attacked.


    And the fact is that unless the assailant is stupid, it never happens that way. Most attackers know that their victims are likely to repsond, and quite possibly with weapons, so they have to attack and disable their victim quickly before they can utilize those weapons.

    The best safety advice for dancer's I've ever read was the one from Stripper-FAQ.
    http://stripper-faq.org/safety.htm

    Paticularly this part:

    The most effective way to survive is to be scared; anything that makes you brave makes you more likely to walk into a dangerous situation. If you have a gun in your purse you might be more likely to take that shortcut home, or take a ride with a man you don't know very well or any number of risky things.

    In short, if a dangerous situation can possibly be avoided, it should ALWAYS be avoided. Respect and deservedness have absolutely nothing to do with it. A gal (or even a man for that matter) cannot have the mindset of "I have a right to walk down that dangerous street". If packing a gun is going to give someone that mindset, it may end up being more hindrance than help, and possibly a tragic hindrance if the assailant wrestles it away from his prey before they can use it to defend themselves.
    That's exactly what I meant. There's a lady who lives in my apartment complex who was mugged once, and she bought a gun for show-off purposes. She's gone to the range once or twice, and she's waved it at people often. That's just idiotic. I told her that if a guy is at close distance and she's not going to use it, he's going to knock her out.

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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    You could also carry in your hand a roll of quaters or something. Someone once told me that if you really want to hurt someone and do it by surprise, carry a full roll of coins in your hand and when you go to punch them, you'll seriously hurt them, it's almost like hitting them with a baseball bat except it's your hand. You also need to learn how to punch, I mean really punch the hard correct way. I"m glad I did because back in college there was this guy at a Frat party that was harrassing me and wouldn't stop. I warned him several times to back off and leave me alone. When he didn't, I punched him as hard as I could right in the face. It made a loud smacking noise and knocked him flat on his ass. His face was all bloody and I'm sure he had a serious black eye. I took off running and got far away from him and I think that punch is what saved me. I'd either do that or get some mace and spray with it for protection. A gun would be good but unless you really know how to use it it could end up hurting you instead. Good Luck!

  20. #45
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    I carry a roll of nickels with me at all times--it won't beat a gun, but other than that, it'll break their fucking jaw, since I already know how to throw a punch. I started doing this after the murder and another incident of some seriousness at my club.

    In this town, with all the street people and human trash everywhere, it is a good idea. I keep it in my right pocket, with nothing else there so I can get it instantly, and I've been doing it for long enough that I feel naked without it, lol...

    I would suggest dimes or pennies for smaller hands, but again, as always, learn how to punch (etc.) correctly first...
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  21. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krazyjane
    I think that carrying a gun is a really fucking stupid idea, because most civilians just want to have the confidence of waving it in an attacker's face and saying, "Ooohh look at my piece." If you're gonna own a gun, you'd damn well better be prepared to use it. You'd better take it to a shooting range and practice, you'd better be prepared to blow a hole in somebody, you'd better be aware of the risks.

    Yes, I'd recommend The Gift of Fear to anybody.
    Damn, back off a bit. I have grown up in a house where guns were respected, not feared. Guns are useful tools and a good form of protection. I have a problem with people who don't give guns the respect that they deserve, but it is the right of every law abiding citizen to own a gun. The majority of people that I know who own guns practice target shooting and proper care techniques. When used correctly, a handgun is your best alternative for self defense.

    Other alternatives such as mace, pocket knives, and keys are usually only effective when they are not put up against a gun. I suggest that everyone carry one of the above mentioned means of protection. I also believe that unless trained in the use and care of a gun, a person is best off without one. There is a possibility of extreme danger if you are not prepared to use it.

    Other than that, your best protection is awareness. Never leave a club if you are intoxicated or under the influence of drugs. These tend to dull your senses, and increase your chances of being placed in a negative situation. A predator may watch you in a club and mark you as an easy target. Pay attention to your surroundings, have a full tank of gas, and a charged cell phone at all times.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crow
    You are entitled to your right to think that carrying a gun is a really fucking stupid idea.

    Then again, I am entitled to carry a gun. That too is my right. Brainless and thug-like individuals have given responsible gun owners a bad name.
    Personally I am VERY glad that Lady Glock goes with me when I am in my car, by myself, in the dead of night coming home from work. I am not so arrogant to believe that my small self can fend off an attacker twice my size.

    Those odds do not appeal to me. I like all of my parts exactly where they are. I enjoy my somewhat undisturbed state of mental health.
    Women victims of physical violence can always move on with their lives and I applaud each and every brave female for doing so, then again, I would NOT like to add myself to their ranks.

    So whatever advantage I can have, I'll take it. I would much rather be added to the list of fucking stupid, than to the list of raped and beaten.

    I appreciate your opinion....one problem though. I don't know if you are aware that glocks tend to jam if not taken care of extremely well. Even when taken care of well, they aren't the most reliable. I'm not a fan of glocks in the slightest....I'd look into a S&W 38 special. They are extremely reliable and easy to use. Another good choice is a Sig 9 mm. There is very little kick and the gun is a beauty.

    i've got a 1911 military issued colt 45. It's a bit larger, but i absolutely love it. it's the kind of gun that stays in the car because of it's size though.
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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self-Defense

    Plastic fantastic. I shoot my Glock on a regular basis at the target range. As I stated before I was taught by a marine how to care for and use a gun and even though he is not my husband anymore he would most certainly crawl my behind if I did not take care of my handgun. Since it was a gift from him to begin with.

    If I get another handgun it will be more along the lines of a lady Remington. My Glock is almost to big for my hand.

    Thank you for the information but believe me, I know perhaps more than I want to know about handguns and how they work. At least for a girl.

  24. #49
    smartcookie
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    Apple, perhaps use that money you're making at your club to move to a neighborhood in which you feel safer?

    Recommendations for various self-defense techniques online aren't a substitute for real world practical experience. I'd really recommend NOT buying a gun or pepper spray; statistics show thow that the likelihood is that these will end up being used against the owner. Sign up for a Krav Maga course instead. At the worst you'll get some exercise in the process.

    I've heard that puking or pissing or shitting yourself puts off rapists, but I have no firsthand experience, thank Heavens.

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    Yes, I realize that my opinion seems a bit harsh, but keep in mind that I've known 2 children in my life who have died by the gun. On was a 7-year old kid who found daddy's shotgun and decided to play with it. Another was a teenage girl who decided to hide in her closet and surprise her did for April Fool's Day. Daddy had a gun and thought that there was an intruder in the house. I believe that guns should be a right to responsible gun owners, but there's no telling if a purchaser is going to be responsible, plus, it opens up a whole new can of worms for accidents. Even if there are gun cabinets, I've heard kids causally say, "Oh yeah, I know where he keeps the keys. I unlock it to look at them all the time"

    I've heard too many women talk about how they want to get a gun, and the stupidity and naivete makes me want to punch them because they don't deserve to have one. Like I said, all they want to do is wave it in someone's face and say, "I have a gun, get away from me!" It gives them a false sense of confidence rather than actual security. The Stripper FAQ said it really well. You are not going to shoot someone's knife out of his hand, you are going to blow a hole in his torso. Do it becasue you need defense, not so you can have that false sense.

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