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Thread: Never the same again?

  1. #1
    Member Kyra_Honey's Avatar
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    Default Never the same again?

    Hey everyone!

    I actually have another 'newbie question'! Sorry if I'm bothing you too much Anyways... a friend of a friend of mine is in the Adult Filmmaking industry, she's a pornstar and has been a stripper.

    She's 'warned' me, actually, when I said I wanted to be a stripper. She said "You'll be entering a whole new world. New rules, harsh people and you'll probably never look at men or love the same again."

    How did you all experience that? I'm curious!

    Love,
    Kyra

  2. #2
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    that's probably true, but for me, I think I appreciate a good man more that I did before.

  3. #3
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    I agree with Emily. You learn to read a man real quickly - you get a gut instinct that won't go away. Sometimes it sucks, cause it's hard to find a good man. But on the other hand, that gut feeling wil save you a broken heart later.

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    Veteran Member funtasticFerra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    I didn't encounter anything that I wouldn't going out to any normal bar from a guy to be honest. Yea, they asked if I would fuck them, be in a movie, blah blah blah. It definetly made me appreciate my husband more and realize that guys are sick lol. But that's just human nature. Guys like sex and are drawn to hot naked girls. They don't think right when they are turned on and apparently they don't think about what they are saying either.
    I never had a hard time when I was dancing....a lot of the guys I met were fairly nice and we held some interesting conversations. I guess you just have to have your head screwed on right before entering into it as with anything. Make sure you know who you are and what you will and won't allow yourself to do and stick to it!
    "When life gets rough turn up the music and dance a little"

    I Train Mixed Martial Arts!

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Sure stripping changes you, but so does EVERYTHING. I am certainly different than when I first started stripping. I have an aversion to working in corporate america now. I could never go back to a paycheck job, again.

    I do look at men differently, too. I feel like the veil has been lifted from my eyes, and I can see the human nature of men. I understand just how important sex is to the vast majority of men (I also understand that there are no absolutes).

    Some girls become bitter and hateful towards men, some girls end up addicted to drugs and alcohol, some girls end up addicted to the money and the spotlight.

    But, you may never be the same again if you go to the mall tommorrow and meet someone that changes your life in some way (small or large). So don't aviod dancing because you are afraid that you may be changed. I'd be willing to bet you are a lot different now than when you were 10, right? You will probably be a lot different at 50 than you are now, also.

    Change is normal and good. Don't sweat it!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Member Kyra_Honey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Paris, you're probably right I guess 'cause I'm not very experienced with boyfriends she was extra worried. I'm not blind to the truth, though... people tend to think that when you don't have a lot of experience things like this can 'spoil' your 'innocence'... I guess they have a point. But I also know that I have had the idea of becoming a stripper in the back of my mind for a long time; I am no angel, I have no angel DNA - otherwise I would not be so drawn to this business. Thanks for all your opinions!

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    Veteran Member redvelvetrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    Sure stripping changes you, but so does EVERYTHING. I am certainly different than when I first started stripping. I have an aversion to working in corporate america now. I could never go back to a paycheck job, again.

    I do look at men differently, too. I feel like the veil has been lifted from my eyes, and I can see the human nature of men. I understand just how important sex is to the vast majority of men (I also understand that there are no absolutes).

    Some girls become bitter and hateful towards men, some girls end up addicted to drugs and alcohol, some girls end up addicted to the money and the spotlight.

    But, you may never be the same again if you go to the mall tommorrow and meet someone that changes your life in some way (small or large). So don't aviod dancing because you are afraid that you may be changed. I'd be willing to bet you are a lot different now than when you were 10, right? You will probably be a lot different at 50 than you are now, also.

    Change is normal and good. Don't sweat it!

    That is an absolutely refreshing post. I was worried a little bit about that sort of thing, but I figure that everything will work out just fine when I start in a few weeks.

    I don't think things like this will change you in a negative way unless you let them.

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    I agree with Emily. The experience of stripping/dancing helps you weed out the bullshit and spot the good ones (few as there are) so much easier.

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    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    I love Paris's answer!

    Your friend probably don't want to see you get sucked into doing anything you would regret. If you keep your sense of self and maintain your confidence and assertiveness, you will be fine.

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    Member Kyra_Honey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Thanks Scout

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    Senior Member KittyKat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Dancing has been very empowering for me. In the few short months that I have been doing this, I have gotten myself out of debt, overcome a lot of personal fears, saved a nice chunk of change and have begun travelling all over the place. I wouldn't be able to lead the happy life that I do if it weren't for the dancing. Dancing has given me financial freedom and a boost of confidence that I take with me everyday of my life.

    I wouldn't say that I am jaded with the guys, but I am more aware now. I have always been on the fence about getting married and having kids. But after seeing what I have seen in my short amount of time in this profession, I am in no hurry to walk down the aisle. If ever. Now more than ever, I am motivated to take care of myself, buy my own house and create my own happiness. I never want to be married to the man who takes his wedding band off before coming into a club.

    Even though I am single by choice, I am in the best shape I have ever been and have a pole in my house, but no one I want to personally show off for. How ironic!!
    Are you "in" or "in the way"?

  12. #12
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    There is a 100% chance if you keep living beyond your childhood years, you will go through experiences that will make you hurt, jaded, scared & intimidated. (Some people don't have the privilege of The Innocent Childhood Years....) Anyway, the sex biz is an ugly place, it will make you hard, blah, blah, blah. So will any high-pressure sales job. At least you get to have fun as a stripper. Would you trade places with the low-tier car salespeople at your local auto mall? Or work in a telemarketing call center? It's your call.
    As for the "bitter on men" part, talk to some middle aged women who pinned their fortunes on one guy & ended up in the ditch with a bunch of kids to feed & no man in sight. That's the real "bitter" right there.

  13. #13
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    The changes don't necessarily have to be bad things, like any business there will be the good and the bad. I had a variety of experiences before this industry and the only thing that I noticed is that you just have to be a little more cautious with "trusting" due to vice,stalkers, etc. No matter what any one says, I now fully believe that woman are definitely the more competitve sex!!! If you just keep in mind that this is a job and what goes on in the walls is work,nothing more, you will be fine. The women that I have seen having problems are the say, do or believe anything that they think will get them ahead type. Other people having a problem with what you do is simply that, THEIR PROBLEM!

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Also depends where you work. Some clubs have more shit going down than others.

    A change of workplace can make all the difference.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Every newbie I've worked with who lasted longer than a few weeks has changed--some for the better, some for the worse.

    The dangers include relying too much on superficial things like appearance and male attention for confidence. As well as seeing men at their worst behavior on a consistent basis for prolonged periods of time--which is why many dancers wind up hating men, or possibly feeling contemptuous of the male sex to a certain (and widely varying) degree.

    OTOH, it can help you be more confident if you view it as a means to an end, not so much to pump up your ego, but to grant you financial and psychic independence from the 9-5 Rat Race.

    And as they say, even if you see guys at their worst a lot, this will make spotting and appreciating the good ones easier, too.

    Pity the women who get stuck in boring, mutually frustrating marriages (as even the presumeably traditional 'successful marriages' seem to me). Their husbands will provide a large portion of your income, if you do dance, lol...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  16. #16
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    What exactly is a successful marriage?? Do the French and Russian judges still give you a low score anyway cause your American???

  17. #17
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    A cookie-cutter suburban home, preferably in a gated community. Two kids, three cars, big screen TV so your wife can fantasize about Brad Pitt while you are getting lapdances.

    Boring barbeques with fat people who would snub you if they knew you stripped or were a DJ, or dated a stripper.

    Boring PTA meetings with fat people who would snub you if they knew you stripped or were a DJ, or had in any way been associated with either profession.

    Early to bed, early to rise--work in an office, hopefully one with a secretary and not a cubicle. Drug testing to get the job and keep it.

    The American Dream--but sure as shit not for me!

    Moments later--sorry, Susan_Wayward, this is only on topic by way of contrast--please delete if it bothers you at all!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    If you become a good hustler, then you develop a "stripper sense" of men. Also, it taints your perception of money and work. Although dancing has its own set of stress and bad days, dancing allows you to make more than you would on an after-tax basis then most corporate jobs. Also, the flexibilty and freedom of schedules and working a 9 to 5 makes it difficult for most girls to quit. As for the other side of dancing, yes. You may see things that you wished that you didn't see (depending on the club). On a postiive note, dancing has allowed me to obtain many of my goals, meet a handful of strong women, and has changed my perception of preconcieved stereotypes.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    DJoser-You just described my worst nightmare. And I have seen some scary shit.

  20. #20
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Something I have noticed is that most "civilians" regardless of status think what I did was cool, even my padres were cool with it. (Yeah sure they would prefer I got some use out of my engineering schooling). I think alot of the so called "bad" stuff is just worry from jealous or controlling people.

  21. #21
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beauty's Release
    DJoser-You just described my worst nightmare. And I have seen some scary shit.
    That movie "American Beauty" really summed it up, and exposed the shallowness of the 'American Dream' as your average Joe or Jane sees it.

    I have worked with a lot of real estate developers and drawn attractive pictures of these utterly boring homes. And guys like that idiot "Real Estate King" in the movie do exist, lol--the schmucks...

    But bringing it back into focus, and back on topic.

    In spite of the very real dangers and pitfalls of the business, the ones who frown the most on the business are generally the ones with the most boring, fruitless, empty lives imaginable. this doesn't mean the stripping business is all fun and games, but it kind of puts it into perspective.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  22. #22
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    So I guess what were trying to say here Kyra is live it up,have fun, and make sure you give your Dj lots of money!!!

  23. #23
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Yep--think like a vampire. no matter who the guy is, no matter how rich, hot, and/or famous he thinks he is, or whether you agree since he might even possibly be so (but probably not), you are the one who is in control.

    You can let them think they are calling the shots, but the best way to succeed and stay happy in this business is to make sure that notion is an illusion.

    Always stay in control--of yourself, and of them--and you'll be a winner.

    If you don't have a heart of steel, get one, fast. You can be warmhearted and vulnerable at home...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  24. #24
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Forgot one thing...probably the best piece of advice...... buy or download Suicidal Tendencies song "You Can't Bring Me Down". This is better than any shrinks I know!!!!

  25. #25
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never the same again?

    Yeah, dancing changed me. When I started dancing I was in a crappy marriage with a husband that cheated on me, but I was too scared to leave because I didn't think I could survive on my own. More than half the money I made went to pay for things he owed money to, or his partying.I danced for six months and told him it was time to go, I was going to take care of myself, and I didn't need him trying to suck me dry.
    I did quit dancing for a year to be a real estate agent, and even though I made as much money as I did working in a club, I was miserable. I missed it so bad! I said you know what, screw this, I am going back. I came back to dancing and I am quite happy with the way my life is going. I have a fun job, get to meet people from all walks of life, I can travel on a whim, and I make good money too!
    Dancing has made me a stronger girl than I could have ever gotten doing a 9-5. And it was a change for the better.

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