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Thread: Constipated!

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Constipated!

    I am constipated. It truly sucks. Last night I was too tired to take a dump (I was afraid that I'd fall asleep), so I woke up constipated. I'm eating dried apricots and hoping that I can dislodge this brick. Wish me luck.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    good luck

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    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Ha. Apricots work. Drink some coffee, too. Happy pooping!
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Thanks. Nonono, no coffee. Coffee will give me the opposite problem, and it would be all acisic that would leave my asshole burning.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Lol! Good luck!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Quote Originally Posted by Krazyjane
    I am constipated. It truly sucks. Last night I was too tired to take a dump (I was afraid that I'd fall asleep), so I woke up constipated. I'm eating dried apricots and hoping that I can dislodge this brick. Wish me luck.
    With friends like you, who needs enemas.

  7. #7
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Tons of water always works for me. Have a cup of something hot - tea if you don't like coffee, although hot coffee with milk works very well - and then wash it down promptly with a lot of cold water. I've had this happen a few times when I've been too busy to go, and three bottles of water after a cup of coffee always clears it up pronto.

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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Deep breath - hold - now push lol ! Good luck on the movement

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    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousJ
    Good luck on the movement
    Yes, fight the good fight!

  10. #10
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    "Who - does - number - two - work - for?!"
    "That's it buddy! You show that turd who's boss!"

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    It might be time for...the dreaded apparatus....

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    "Who - does - number - two - work - for?!"
    "That's it buddy! You show that turd who's boss!"

    One of the best scenes ever.

    KrazyJane.. Hope everything comes out okay..

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    Senior Member Sassy~n~Sexy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    I'm a suppository junky...I have to use them cause I can't go on my own (long ass story and I'll just leave it there)

    If you can't go give it a shot...I have been using them for 5 years now. They are made of glyceron which is harmless...won't mess you up and they are good to keep around if it happens again.

    Good luck!
    "Just hold me close boy 'cause I'm your tiny dancer"

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Flax meal. Throw it on some cereal! Although, it could be argued that that's more an ongoing maintenance/preventio0n thing than a remedy for the, er, situation at hand . . . Man, I feel for you - there are few feelings I hate more than constipation. Good luck with delivering that lil' bundle of joy!
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Oatmeal

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    Default Re: Constipated!

    What about an enema? Just be near a toilet when youre ready to let go. Im sorry..I had it alot as a child. Eat some dried prunes with low sugar.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  17. #17
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    My daughter suffers greatly from constipation. She's 10 and has had this issue since she was a little tiny baby... so....


    Apples.. an apple a day doesn't just keep the dr away, it keeps you clean....

    And, if you do use an enema, do not use the stuff in the bottle, buy a fleet, but dump that shit (no pun intended) out... instead, fill it with lukewarm water... use as directed until its all gone... the stuff in the bottle has saline, it will burn, it will give you cramps and you will be in a world of hurt... lukewarm water is the best and it will not give you cramps (cold water does)...

    Take Flax seed oil daily and it will keep you running effectively.

    Good luck. Hope you feel better soon.


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    Veteran Member badpixie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    Agreed with the flaxseed oil (plus it improves most people's skin). Try it in hot oatbran cereal (the bran is the best, and most fibrous, part of the oat, but it has a great consistency more like cream of wheat). Cinnamon sort of masks the nasty oil taste. Gulping it down with a tomato juice/v8 chaser also works. Just remember that you shouldn't cook or heat flax oil.

    Drink water or fluids (not soda) constantly, and replace white breads/flours/rice with whole grains whenever possible. Eat whole grains every day, especially if this happens to you a lot.

    I always take a few seconds to compare labels in the grocery store, and I try to buy the product with the most nutritional value, especially when it comes to fiber and protein. Also, try to buy juices with fiber content and lots of vitamins (these tend to be lost when the juice is from concentrate).

    And when you go, squat. Every time.

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    Featured Member Guenevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!


    Did you know that the new yogurt from Dannon called Activia is for constipation? LOL! They don't advertise it as such on TV but that's the purpose, keeps you regular. I'm not sure how well it works though and it says it starts to work after two weeks of consumption (so it probably wouldn't do much good for your immediate prob, sorry 'bout that). But Yek is right, WATER!!!! Too many people underestimate the power of water. Good luck!

  20. #20
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    I had a nice poo, although a bit on the hard side. It was the kind that was followed by diarrhea, as my body was trying to compensate for the constipation by going the other direction.

    I usually eat a lot of oatmeal and other fiber-rich foods, but I've been eating on the run lately due to moving. This combined with the fact that I went to bed rather than poo made me plugged up. Serves me right for not setting my priorities straight. I should poo more often.

  21. #21
    Featured Member Guenevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Constipated!

    ^^^ Glad to hear it

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