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Thread: would you?

  1. #1
    tampafldancer
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    Default would you?

    Opinion thread.

    Would you marry a man you know you didn't have complete sexual chemistry with?

    How about if he meant the world to you?

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    Default Re: would you?

    if it's a choice between good sex with perfect-guy and great sex with un-perfect guy(s), then yes, i'd marry a guy i wasn't 100 percent sexually compatible with. if, however, the sex with a guy otherwise perfect is crappy, i personally couldn't settle. but that's my line in the dirt. some women will marry a guy otherwise perfect and accept bad/mediocre sex as the price. it depends on how willing he is to work with you sexually and how much sexual chemistry means to you in a relationship.

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    Veteran Member Stipperella's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    I couldn't unless I knew he wasn't going to want to have sex with me.

  4. #4
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: would you?

    what i mean by sexual chemistry is basically that you can't get satisfied with that guy.

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    Have you tried sex with him AND a toy? worked for me!
    And no, if the sex isn't working out I know that eventually that would be a factor in the break up.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  6. #6
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: would you?

    i hate the whole toy thing.. Totally kills the mood

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    Personally, I would. Sex is important, but it's not THAT important to me. Besides, you could always try different things to get the both of you in sync with eachother sexually.

    If you've got everything else with a guy, sex isn't as important as the rest of it. That's the way I feel about it anyway.

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    Default Re: would you?

    i think in your case, tampafl, that you may want to continue experimenting on the sexual front with the guy if he's willing to work with you on this. you may not need toys, just some long weekends to experiment and figure out what's going on so you can both come. i think a case like yours, it's worth considering long-term life with such a guy, IF he is willing to work towards a sexual solution with you (or if he is willing to be cool with you finishing later without him or some other compromise).

  9. #9
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: would you?

    WhY do all the sweet men suck in bed?

  10. #10
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: would you?

    Think of how many people get bored with eachother because the sexual chemistry waned. Only rabbits live in a state of permanent high ardor.

    I will marry a man who wants to build a good life together & honor my family, not some Rocket in the Sack. (Though I'm glad to have had a few of those LOL.)

    PS There are sweeties who are good in bed, just not enough to go around!

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    I'm gonna be honest. No.

    He's gotta be both, don't settle. There are good, sweet, gentlemen out there that are good in bed.


    I'm sure you can work things out thought too. Who knows?

  12. #12
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: would you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka
    I'm gonna be honest. No.

    He's gotta be both, don't settle. There are good, sweet, gentlemen out there that are good in bed.


    I'm sure you can work things out thought too. Who knows?
    lol... yea Sex was never important to me until i met someone who knew how to do it right

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    Veteran Member Tyffani D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    If you are otherwise completely happy, YES.
    You can always keep trying new things/ways to satisfy the sexual part of the relationship. But if it really bothers you, maybe you should wait until you are really sure that you can overcome that obstacle. Ultimately though I'd say Follow your heart. good luck!

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    I honestly don't think I could be in a long term relationship if there was NO chemistry. Don't get me wrong, i'm not looking for perfect in that category (although I lucked out and found someone who I really click with there) but there would have to be something. I just know i'm a highly sexual person and down the road it would lead to discontent and possibly resentment and i'm sure the other person wouldn't be happy either.

    Everyone is different though and what one person couldn't deal with another would be able to, it all depends on how you feel about it.



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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    I couldn't marry a guy I didn't have the right chemistry with. Sex isn't just a matter of mechanics. There is that unexplainable thing that just has to be there.

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    Veteran Member pipermarau's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    as long as he's fertile i'd do it. love is what would keep me satisfied, and kids.

  17. #17
    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    Well, it's may not technically be a chemistry thing. Practice makes perfect, right? Have you guys been together for a long enough time to KNOW that it won't get better?

    It's really a tough call either way though.....sex is REALLY important, especially if that's the only person you'd be having sex with.






    (just click to donate FREE food to those in need...REALLY!)

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    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer
    WhY do all the sweet men suck in bed?
    I can think of a couple different reasons:

    1) their mothers keep them on a short leash emotionally and don't let them fully develop their independence

    2) they're too empathetic in bed rather than reactive and playful - the women I know don't want to wallow in bed, they want to be stimulated

    3) being around someone sweet doesn't necessarily make you feel safe

    4) lust can be fun. sweet and lust rarely fit in the same sentence together


    tampa - I don't know if you've been through the cycles of long term relationships or a marriage before, but my experience has proven that marriage changes all the rules of attraction and arousal. Throw children in the mix and the importance of sex rolls down the totem pole of importance rather quickly. Finding someone you find a symbiotic rythym with is important. Someone you can approach to address relationship issues about with comfort and ease. If your partner sucks in bed, make sure you can get him comfortable trying new things before you solidify the relationship.

    In my failed marriage, my partner claimed to be very happy before the engagement with a rather normal sexual relationship - after the engagement she started hinting about wanting to try other things that were clearly considered taboo within our prior relationship. It ruined the relationship. In hindsight, I wouldn't have minded trying the things she wanted, but felt violated by the false set of sexual mores we previously established.

    Best wishes.


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
    It's about those moments which leave you breathless."

  19. #19
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: would you?

    ^Thank you for the insightful post, azcustomer.

    Real life is icky and messy and things never turn out the way everyone thinks they will (case in point: the Brangelina- Aniston Love Triangle.)

    I've slept with quite a few men (ahem) so I can honestly say there are many men who are good & also rocking in the sack.
    Some factors not considered when judging sex performance:
    Fitness (either being out of shape & a smoker can kill staying power & lengthen recovery time)
    Does everyone know what they're getting out of the sex?
    Are either parties being open about what they REALLY want sexually? There's a big gulf between what we're willing to admit we want........and what we actually do. As Bill Maher said, "There are no mutual fantasies..." He was getting at how traditional sex fantasies are split by what seems like feminine romanticism & male aggression.

    I don't like talking about this. In my culture, marriage is for your family, NOT you. Getting off all the time is so not important compared to providing for your loved ones & maintaining face in the community. I feel shame when I see commericals for fricking Viagra after news bulletins full of Third World suffering & war....America must seem inconsequential to outsider eyes..I guess this issue is about priorities.

  20. #20
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    No...because it's not all him.

    You would consider him good in bed if the marriage-type feelings were all there. I've been with guys who were probably not that technically gifted, but the sex was amazing because of how I felt about them.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  21. #21
    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    ^I don't like talking about this. In my culture, marriage is for your family, NOT you. Getting off all the time is so not important compared to providing for your loved ones & maintaining face in the community. I feel shame when I see commericals for fricking Viagra after news bulletins full of Third World suffering & war....America must seem inconsequential to outsider eyes..I guess this issue is about priorities.
    Madmaxine,

    Thank you for the acknowledgement.

    Personally, I am investigating the history of different cultures and I am curious about your definition of the culture you identify with. Please share if you feel comfortable.

    As for Viagra - I had an interesting conversation with a doctor about the chemical value of sex. When men and women engage in sex, our bodies release hormones and stimulants which affect us. Not suprisingly, there are a plethora of medical journal articles expousing the virtues of a healthy sex life. Recently, more and more articles in serious journals point out that sexual stimulants that focus on the physics of sex tend to supress the overall beneficial effects of sexual release in patients. In summary, it's better to have 1 real ejaculation than 100 drug induced ones. One must balance the real physical effects of sex against the social need for acceptance and acknowledgement of your sex life.


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
    It's about those moments which leave you breathless."

  22. #22
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    I don't think any couples have COMPLETE sexual chemistry.

    How far apart are you talking here?

  23. #23
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    Default Re: would you?

    Yeap. Been dating too long. Looking for a good guy first, then all the stuff later.

  24. #24
    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    [QUOTE=Vyanka]

    He's gotta be both, don't settle. There are good, sweet, gentlemen out there that are good in bed.


    Thanks

  25. #25
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: would you?

    I think that if the sex isn't good as well as everything else, he isn't the perfect guy, not for you. I think it has to be a complete package or the shortcoming(s) will eventually cause serious problems down the line. IMO, if he doesn't do it for you in ALL ways, best to keep looking.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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