Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: Guy Talk

  1. #1
    Veteran Member oulala's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    256
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Guy Talk

    I've had this happen with previous boyfriends as well. When hanging out with (some of) my bfs friends sometimes they get a little carried away with the guy talk. As in his friends... my boyfriend doesn't really chip in. Like, Blue Side kinda talk. I don't consider myself a prude but I'd rather not hear about their indepth slutty adventures, misoginistic/rude jokes, and sizing up girls like pieces of meat. I know it happens, but man, I don't wanna hear it. It's never happened when I've hung out with just guy friends before (not in relation to a guy I'm dating) and whatnot. So what gives? Am I crazy? Maybe I'm actually dating one of these creeps and he just puts on a nice show when we're alone?

    Has anyone else experienced this?

  2. #2
    God/dess
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Renaissance City
    Posts
    3,343
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Quote Originally Posted by oulala
    Maybe I'm actually dating one of these creeps and he just puts on a nice show when we're alone?
    Bingo. You can pretty much tell a guy by his friends.

  3. #3
    Jay Zeno
    Guest

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    I have guy friends who are crude. I have guy friends who are gentle. You said he doesn't chip in. Maybe he's embarrassed by his friends and embarrassed for you. Or maybe he doesn't want you to think he's like that when he really is. Or, maybe just judge him by how he treats you.

  4. #4
    madmaxine
    Guest

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Guys just have a meaner sense of humor. I talk a lot of smack about men too (words like "Steak on Legs" & "Meat Report" are what I use to discuss men I see) but if I found one good man to hold on to, I would have no need for that sense of humor.

    Guys who talk crude are often just mad they're not getting what they want (BlueBalls, Blueballs.)

  5. #5
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Yes, but the other way around, lol...

    I have also seen guys do it around women, too. Sometimes the way guys do it, it's rude. The exception to the rude judgement is if they think you like it, or don't care, or are one of those women who are comfortable with it.

    Some guys take perverse delight in doing this, as well--it's like they're flaunting it, or sometimes that they are in effect saying "Well if you're gonna hang with us, you're gonna have to take it." I've even seen guys do it and then take a semi-furtive look at the woman to see how she is reacting. I've seen guys do it to their sisters to fuck with them.

    Women don't tend to do it as much, probably because they are indoctrinated not to talk this way so much when growing up, as opposed to many dads who like their son to hear 'man talk', etc.

    But I have been with various Gfriends and her friends and heard a few things of this nature. It really depends on how it's done, usually it's just funny. but it does tend to make you aware of how a guy looks when he does the same thing.

    Now in the dressing room, however, it's a different story...

    I go in there a lot while working at this one club, because it's often vital to find out who's passed out, fighting, crying, pissed off, or what--so I know I can rely on them to go onstage and play the right music. But when I do bodypainting, I'll be in there for hours on end sometimes, especially during events. In that case, you see and hear everything, lol--and the only way to do it is to just laugh it off.

    It's their dressing room, not my studio...

    After a while you get used to it, and it's kind of cool in a way that they can be open. One thing I find especially amusing is when some of the nastier ones get going about the guy they just blew, or stuff like that. I mean, some of these women are pretty bad--no way would I ever play around with them--no way, lol. And they'll come waltzing in and gleefully announce "I just had a guy pay me 75$ to eat my pussy! And I didn't have to do anything! It was great!"

    Well, what can you do? It's funny, or it's gross. I choose funny...

    I would recommend the same policy for you. The one thing that can get irritating is if they are going on and on about someone who is just so fucking hot--I've seen guys and girls both do this a zillion times. There is a tendency for the person sitting there of the other sex to feel slighted, whether or not a comparison is being made.

    When I was younger I would sometimes feel this way, but now I've had enough attention of my own to pretty much just find it boring.

    I have seen some women who can handle this pretty well, usually ones who had lots of brothers, lol. You can laugh at them if they sound like idiots, that will help--and hey, if they sound like idiots, why the hell not laugh? You might find that it gets easier over time, too.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  6. #6
    Veteran Member oulala's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    256
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsWriter2
    Bingo. You can pretty much tell a guy by his friends.
    That's what I'm afraid of. =/ But I'm gonna try and take it with a grain of salt. He treats me like a princess, so...

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    Guys just have a meaner sense of humor. I talk a lot of smack about men too (words like "Steak on Legs" & "Meat Report" are what I use to discuss men I see) but if I found one good man to hold on to, I would have no need for that sense of humor.
    Now that I think of it, I don't think so much about it when I hear girls talking that way. I don't myself because I guess I'd get way too embarassed if I'd try lol... Nice to have this perspective.

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser
    Well, what can you do? It's funny, or it's gross. I choose funny...
    Most of the time it's not so bad, but sometimes I find it offensive and don't really know what to do, especially because they aren't my friends. It's usually when it's in a derogatory way towards women that I'm like, WTF, can't you see I'm sitting right here? I don't say anything though...

    Really, what do you do, take an extra long bathroom break or just laugh? Guess I need to lighten up. I've only ever commented once, and that was because his friends weren't going to tip a waiter because he was a guy (he gave great service too), but usually when they embarass the hell out of me I'm too embarassed to do anything but sit there and blush. >_<

    And they can't just make it a short and sweet comment too. Ugh!

  7. #7
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Well you could make a derogatory joke about men, preferably one that targets the asshole in some way. If you do this, make sure it's a joke delivered in a friendly way--this will gain you their respect as a woman who can handle the best they can give, and give it right back. If you get mad and tell the joke in a nasty way they'll just think they've 'won' or something stupid like that.

    It might be better to just go find something else to do, though, in that situation.

    As far as you Bfriend being as bad as they are, maybe so, maybe not. If he treats you like a princess and means it, that's what counts--I've had some friends that were pretty much dicks to women and it didn't rub off on me, I don't think, lol...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  8. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    2,352
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    I think most of those guy talks are a bit exagerated anyways its kinda showing off talk " I can outdo the other guy crap .

  9. #9
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Laugh and throw it back. I bet they knock it off. My boyfriend's best friends are misogynist assholes; if I got mad, they would be happy about it. When I throw it back to them, or even better put them down the same way, they shut the fuck up. They hate being shot down by a woman.

  10. #10
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    They hate being shot down by a woman.
    The rude ones do--they can't take what they love to dish out. The not-so-rude ones love it, from my experience. When I've seen a woman do this in a group of guys, she almost always emerges the clear winner.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  11. #11
    Veteran Member NoCoverLover's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Toronto ON
    Posts
    483
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Guys who are in groups, DO NOT BEHAVE like they would if they were by themselves...

    This is known as 'herd mentality'. It is the primary behaviour exhibited by most males in a strip club!

    Stags are a pathalogical example of this. You get 40 guys, one of whom is being told he's just given up most of his 'bachelor' life by getting married. You are damn right that he (and his friends') behavior will change. That's why they're often called the 'asshole brigade'...

    The more 'backup' a guy has, the more likely he is to do something he wouldn't do by himself.

    If you want a sense of what someone is actually like... corner him when he's alone. His behavior will give you the entire story.

  12. #12
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Too true. This is why gang rape is so prevalent; lots of guys who would never rape a woman on their own will do it when egged on by a group. Men are a lot like dogs - one dog can be a wonderful companion, but a pack of dogs will rip you to shreds. I can handle a single guy, but I am terrified of men in groups.

  13. #13
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2003
    Location
    The Wastelands of New Jersey
    Posts
    1,839
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 14 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Quote Originally Posted by NoCoverLover
    Guys who are in groups, DO NOT BEHAVE like they would if they were by themselves...

    This is known as 'herd mentality'. It is the primary behaviour exhibited by most males in a strip club!

    Stags are a pathalogical example of this. You get 40 guys, one of whom is being told he's just given up most of his 'bachelor' life by getting married. You are damn right that he (and his friends') behavior will change. That's why they're often called the 'asshole brigade'...

    The more 'backup' a guy has, the more likely he is to do something he wouldn't do by himself.

    If you want a sense of what someone is actually like... corner him when he's alone. His behavior will give you the entire story.
    Spend a shift behind bartending and see how a group of guys will act entirely like douchbags just to impress their friends. Its amusing if they contain it within their little group. When they inevitably involve other customers, its pathetic.

  14. #14
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    As a stripclub DJ, I can confirm this unfortunate tendency--not that I was unaware of it before, lol.

    Sometimes it is very much like watching primitive male mating rituals of an entirely separate species--only on TV you can switch the channel.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  15. #15
    Veteran Member NoCoverLover's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Toronto ON
    Posts
    483
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    I've seen the 'since I've got backup, I can do whatever the fuck I want' get way out of hand.

    One guy in a group of 25 decided he was the shit, and that gave him the right to do whatever he wanted... WRONG!

    One of our door staff took him down, and that's putting it mildly. Right away, two of his so called 'backup' decided they were going to jump in!

    My friend on security realized right away that this was about to get out of hand. As a result, six words were uttered on the radio, 'security to the bar, security to the bar'...

    Well, 8 security guys showed up, 3 of which weigh in excess of 250 llbs, of solid muscle. Those three clowns got it good!! Or not good depending on your viewpoint!

    As a matter of written policy at our bar, any incident involving more than 4 security and customers results in an automatic call to 9-1-1. As a result, Toronto PD showed up about 5 minutes later.

    There's no excuse for this type of behavior. These idots got what they asked for... in spades!!

  16. #16
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 13 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Guy Talk

    Quote Originally Posted by oulala
    I've had this happen with previous boyfriends as well. When hanging out with (some of) my bfs friends sometimes they get a little carried away with the guy talk. As in his friends... my boyfriend doesn't really chip in. Like, Blue Side kinda talk. I don't consider myself a prude but I'd rather not hear about their indepth slutty adventures, misoginistic/rude jokes, and sizing up girls like pieces of meat. I know it happens, but man, I don't wanna hear it. It's never happened when I've hung out with just guy friends before (not in relation to a guy I'm dating) and whatnot. So what gives? Am I crazy? Maybe I'm actually dating one of these creeps and he just puts on a nice show when we're alone?

    Has anyone else experienced this?

    Men who recount their sexual adventures to an audience of others are normally seeking validation and covering their insecurities. What this does, is makes it uncomfortable for their partner to open up to them truly because what happens between them is no longer private. A tragicly overlooked misuse of someone's trust.

    What goes on between you and a sexual partner should remain private and never offered up for analyzation by anyone other than the parties included. AT least don't make the people involved ID-able.

    I've had it told to me that a partner felt more sexually in touch with me simply because she had no sense of embarassment, no worry about the outside world seeing what she's doing with me and it let her get down to the grit and really lose control

    Mast!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 20
    Last Post: 11-28-2010, 12:56 PM
  2. To talk or not to talk is the question???
    By **Sincerely** in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-23-2010, 09:05 AM
  3. Ordinary small talk or naughty talk
    By Kira320 in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 10-31-2007, 01:43 PM
  4. What to talk about during small talk
    By phillyvixen in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 09-11-2007, 01:05 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •