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Thread: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

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    Veteran Member redvelvetrose's Avatar
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    Default Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    Ok, so I auditioned last night for the very first time. The club had me do a stage set, and it went fairly well - I didn't trip and fall, the custys were for the most part very nice and respectful, the other girls were all fairly nice, I received several compliments (one biker dude even bet his friend that I had implants [when I don't] because my boobs "looked too perfect"), and I made $31 for the set on a fairly slow night.

    Thing is, I still feel kinda weird after this, and I don't even know why. During the audition, I was obviously nervous, but once I started dancing I felt okay and barely even noticed that I was taking my clothes off. I was still really shaky after I finished, kind of like, "Wow, I can't believe I did that," in both a positive and negative sense. But on my way home I just felt like, "Maybe I shouldn't be doing this." Part of this is because I know it would be difficult to hide from my family; I was just planning on telling them I'm bartending there, but I know they still won't be thrilled. I don't want to hurt them, but then again, I am 18 and I can make my own choices. I don't think they'd kick me out or anything, but if they did I'd just go live my boyfriend.

    The other part...I don't know, but maybe I'm not completely comfortable with this. On a conscious level I am, but maybe on a subconscious level I'm not. I think it would be a little better if I was at a slightly bigger club with more than one stage, not just a "titty bar" atmosphere - you know, just a little more anonymity? I think also I get a little worried because I'm really not comfortable with any custys touching me at all.

    I was originally hoping to dance this summer because it would be the quickest way to make enough money for room and board next school year, and I could start saving up for an apartment for in the future. I'm just wondering if maybe I ought to go back to a "regular" job. Either way, I think maybe I'll stick it out for a week or so and see how it goes, or else check out a bigger club.

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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    Sounds like you've answered your own question. Entertaining is a fabulous way to have financial and scheduling freedom, but it's not for everyone. Good luck!

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    i would give it some more time.. you'll ease into it.. this job isn't for everyone.. i know i had a rough time when i first started.... a lot of people in the industry aren't trustworthy, so you really have to look out for yourself... watch what you say and who you say things too.. Honestly though, the best advice I can try to give you is to go in, make your money and go home... try not to gossip and don't drink a lot.. i know its easier said than done, bc sometimes a little drinking is involved... The way i see it, if you keep to yourself and mind your own business usually people won't try to bring you down to other girls or customers... give it some time and hopefully you'll be able to stick it out...

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    i guess i forgot to add also, sticking to yourself doesn't just mean not interacting with the other girls.. depending on what girls you like, its ok to be cordial and pleasant to your co-workers.. you know what i'm talking about... but remember, girls that may be jealous often times have alternative motives to try to sell you out... i must sound so negative. i'm just trying to help you out.. i know when i was new and started out about a two years ago in the business, a lot of dancers were extremly jealous of me and i had to look out for myself...

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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    Try a few other clubs in your area if you dont feel comfortable at this one. Its perfectly ok to take time to find the club that works for you.
    About what you thought after you were off stage: I never think too much while Im on stage. It helps me to detach myself and bring on (insert stage name here). That way Im more focused on making money and not on other things.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    ITs alright

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    Veteran Member redvelvetrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    Now that I've had time to think about it, I think I definitely will give it another try. The club I auditioned at is very small (still good business though) and is filled with decent people, strict rules, no contact, etc. I think maybe I just got a little scared. But this is something I've wanted to do for a while.

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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    You are still very new. When starting anything new (job, hobby, etc) I always give it a good month or so to make sure. If after some time you still feel this way, you can always do something else then. Or find another club.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    It's normal to feel new when you're, um, new. I actually cried after my first shift and I'm still not sure why. Stress or something. If you're still feeling strange, maybe try getting a job as a waitress at a strip club and see how you deal with the atmosphere. It can be a lot to take in at once. Good luck!

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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    I felt exactly the way you do now after my own audition. I was also struggling with a lot of conflicting positive/negative emotions in an "I cant believe I did that" way.

    I wasnt sure how to feel. I was smiling, but I felt as though I was sitting on the very top of a mountain of emotions, ready to fall off any way. My emotions came out in the form of tears, but you know, I cried after the first time I had sex, too and it wasnt necessarily about regret. It was just a very emotional experience.

    The next morning I woke up in a cold sweat with a rapid, heavy heartbeat. I felt woozy all day. I called my friend who has been dancing for half a year to tell her how I felt when woke up, and she guessed what had happened before I even told her. Turns out the same thing happened to her, and she said it was shock!

    But I decided to go back and at least give working a full day a chance- and I loved it. I had a lot of fun, and I've been working there happily since. Stage dancing doesnt phase me anymore, but I have just started lapdancing, so that's having the same effect as dancing for the first time.

    My point is, it all gets easier, usually 10 times easier even the second time around. Good luck, and stick with it! Give it a chance. The first time always takes a toll.

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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    I felt the same way you did on my first day. I tried out a club that I was only at for about 3 hours and told them that I was sorry but that it just wasn't for me. I thought that would be the end of my dancing but I still had this desire to do it for some reason. The club I first tried was 2.5 hours away from home. I wanted to do that because I was and still am afraid of someone seeing me. I decided to get over that and try the club that was close to home. I did and I now love it!! Even though I still am afraid of someone seeing me, I won't let it stop me from dancing and obtaining financial bliss! This financial bliss is the first time in my life that I'm not worrying about money as much. The first club I tried out wasn't a bad club, they actually were very nice to me, everyone, I just didn't feel like I fit in there. The one I'm at now, I totallly feel like I fit in there and realize it's just all about finding the right club. Give it a little more time and see how you feel. If after a month, you still feel the same way or worse, then you'll know for sure it's not for you. Good luck!

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    Veteran Member redvelvetrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    I finally realized why I felt so weird. It's the clashing of two different environments. I feel fine at the club...but then I have to go home, and it just makes me feel like a bad daughter. I haven't actually started working yet (today on a whim I auditioned at another club, and I think I like this one better), but I'm planning on telling my parents I'm bartending there. I'm just worried about their reaction.

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    if you are 18 and still living at home. i wouldnt tell your parents you are working there at all. isnt there something you else you could get away with telling them.

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    Default Re: Maybe this just isn't for me?...kinda long

    first of all, you're extremely brave from what you've wrote and i think it takes a lot of courage to make it in the stripping world.
    i know exactly how you feel, i started at a club when i was 18 in highschool and still lived at home. it was very odd the first few nights, i felt a little guilty and i had a hard time figuring out what to say to my parents. i mainly felt like i was doing something wrong, but i realized i honestly do not feel like stripping is wrong as long as i respected my boundaries with my body and didn't let guys touch my 'privies' (haha). find a larger classy club with good management tell your parents you waitress/cocktail there (more believable than bartending which takes some skill) but first look up what the laws are in your state with you serving alcohol at 18 to make sure you don't get stuck in a lie if its illegal unless youre 21. also if you start working regularly remember to hide the bruises on your knees from your parents! hopefully you're planning on moving out soonish cause its a difficult thing to hide from them with the outfits undies heels bruises hours your cash etc. most of all make sure you're having fun and are comfortable with this job and do not give up on school because of the money youre making now. hang in there getting on your own two feet can be a little difficult but it sounds like you have it figured out. if you need to talk more feel free to send me a message, you're definitely in the same boat i was in.

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