Results 1 to 22 of 22

Thread: What is wrong with me!?

  1. #1
    Cally
    Guest

    Default What is wrong with me!?

    Okay.. I did the DW seminar.. I listend carefully, have re-read the work book 10 times over.. listend to the at home cd's and I still walked away with $80 tonight.. maybe it was just a shit night? Maybe I just really am that bad at small talk? Or maybe its just i've been off work for a week. My biggest problem is going up to guys. My mind freezes and I blank out and I stumble over my words... that is if I can even walk up to the guy. Im getting fustrated.. I mean I have nights I make money then other nights I dont. I get a lot of 'come back laters' so I wait 10 min or so and go back and the guy is gone. Im ready to bang my head off my desk. I have sat down and asked myself 'how can I get over this?' and the only answer I can come up with is 'start going up to guys'. Im really getting fustrated. The DW seminar was amazing and I felt like I learned alot but when it came time to apply it I froze.

    So I guess my question is.. any advice for breaking the freeze? And any advice for small talk?

  2. #2
    mermaidnz
    Guest

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    the aproach is the hardest bit tho!! its something i think we all struggle with time to time.

    keep in mind 80 odd % of all language is body language (or something like that) so dont stress about the conversation, truth is, the customer is feeling just as underconfidant about it with a stunning half naked girl!!

  3. #3
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    3,776
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    apply it only a tiny bit at a time so you don't have to stress out about doing five things at once. just focus on one or two things only.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Indy
    Posts
    482
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    I find myself freezing also. I hate it! I just ask myself if I want money or to get naked for free. Sometimes I'll go all night w/ out talking to very many ppl. Then some how I still manage to make money. I just get it together the last few hours I'm at work.
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

    Blessed Be

  5. #5

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    I used to give myself little pep talks and tell myself jokes to help make sure I had a smile on my face.

    Attitude is everything. Very few can have a bad atitude and get away with it.

    Also look around at the crowd and see what you can assess from the body language of the people.

    I used to look for the guys who seemed nervous and see if I could put them at ease...

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Dixie Passion For This Useful Post:


  7. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    3,422
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    I think you have to ask yourself what it is that is making you freeze. What are you so nervous about? Is it the possibility of rejection? Is it that you don't think you can make good enough conversation?

    I'd say you really don't have to worry about either of those things. I just make a game of the rejection thing. I tell myself, ok, I'm gonna approach guys until I either get a dance or get three 'no's. After three, I'll go to the changeroom for a break (or whatever). When you approach, just smile your head off, look like you're having a blast, life is so amazing, etc. They seldom care what you say, in my experience. Trust me, I have made some pretty shitty small talk, and they've still agreed to a dance. People are used to awkward small talk with strangers i think. It's how we interact. The best way is to act like you're really comfortable, pretend pretend pretend. Relax. Don't pressure yourself about the sale initially- just make it your plan to approach x-number of guys per hour. You're bound to sell dances if you get out there enough!

    Anyway, you're so confident in person...I think you just have to take the pressure off yourself of being perfect in conversation. Haha, it's hardly the kind of environment to be shy in! Good luck

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to mollyzmoon For This Useful Post:


  9. #7
    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    Posts
    2,336
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 65 Times in 45 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    Molly is right. Your challenge Cally is you're overthinking everything way too much. You just need to sit back and take one long deep breath right now. Stop, reframe things a bit for yourself, and get out of your head so much. You're challenge is that you're focussing so much on 500 things at once rather than just focus on 1 thing at a time.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
    -
    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

  10. #8
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    South Chicago Suburbs
    Posts
    2,059
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 139 Times in 62 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    Just keep trying. Maybe the best thing is to understand, through experience, that the workd is not going to end if you say something stupid or if you get a NO. It may be hard to believe, but I used to be scared to go up to people, too.

    You can do this, Cally. I know you can!


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

  11. #9
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 209 Times in 142 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cally
    Maybe I just really am that bad at small talk? Or maybe its just i've been off work for a week. My biggest problem is going up to guys. My mind freezes and I blank out and I stumble over my words... that is if I can even walk up to the guy.

    So I guess my question is.. any advice for breaking the freeze? And any advice for small talk?
    So do some homework first. Work out 2 - 3 topics you think might be of interest to us customers and read up a little on them. Big sporting event coming up? Learn a little about it. Event in the news? Read about it.

    Our mind tends to blank if you don't know much abut the subject - so learn enough that you can talk for a few minutes on a few things.

    You'll only need a few topics, because hopfully you won't have to keep te conversation going for more than a few minutes.

    Quote Originally Posted by mermaidnz
    keep in mind 80 odd % of all language is body language (or something like that) so dont stress about the conversation, truth is, the customer is feeling just as underconfidant about it with a stunning half naked girl!!
    Very good advice - so buy a book on body language and learn about courtship gestures. We all use certain non verbal signals when we are attracted to some one. Learn what the signals are and mimic then when you talk to your customer.

    (For example sit within 6" and gently touch his forearm or thigh).

    Phil.

  12. #10
    Senior Member beckysnot's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    113
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    im really really bad at talking to people too, and if i get to that point i never really ask for a dance. the customer usually asks me. i usually work days, so talking to customers for me is more just to pass the time than to make the money and id say that after sitting with someone for 20 mins and you dont ask for a dance if they want one theyll ask. i worked nights a few times, and last night i worked and my club was poppin!! in my club the dj booth and the dressing room are on complete opposite sides of the place, with the stage area across the middle. i tend to spend alot of time in the dressing room (dont like to talk to people) and i would just walk back and forth between the dressing room and the dj booth and the people that would look at me both times i passed i would try talking to. you can see by the look people give you if they like you. and if you walk by like youre not actually looking at them, youll be able to see them just straight out staring at you. worked for me great last night, i made double my nightly goal!
    i can only dream of a circus life....

    aka chloe

  13. #11
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Phoenix is home, work in Upper Midwest Boonies
    Posts
    3,274
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 107 Times in 61 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    It sounds like you are trying to apply everything you learned at once. Remember he gave you assignments to do during week one, then more during week two etc.

    Just go up to EVERY guy and say, "Hi my name is Cally, and yours?" If he responds with his name, ask him if he comes to the club much. If he says he is from out of town, ask him where he is from and what kind of work he does. The same stuff you'd ask someone you meet at a party or a night club. Listen adoringly with him while giving him eye contact and rubbing on his arm or leg. Do you remember the mirroring and matching he taught you?

    If the guy is standoffish, and won't give you his name which probably happens more than we'd like, then try making a little small talk and tell him you'll come back to talk to him later, and go on to the next guy if there is anyone else in the club to talk to.

    Try getting back to the tables quicker, maybe after 5-6 minutes.

    How about the next part, where after you get them to talk about their work, what brings them to the club, where you say "You're ready for some dances now, right?" And if they say no, then you steer them back into talking about themselves. Then go for the sale again after a brief chat.

    After you master that over a few days, then move on to the lines he told you to use for stubborn guys. And so on.

    Keep in mind that what you learned in the class is not going to produce a $500+ night when there are 60 girls working and only 25 guys came in the club for the night. Or if the clientele has little money. You're still going to have $80 nights after pay out regardless of how well you apply what you've learned under those circumstances. You have no control over what does and what doesn't walk through the door, but when the clientele is right, you will be able to maximize your earnings off of the guys you sell by following the techniques.

  14. #12
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    South Chicago Suburbs
    Posts
    2,059
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 139 Times in 62 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    Cally, try this:

    Hi, I'm Cally. And you are?

    (Josh)

    Josh. Glad to meet you Josh. (DO NOT ask how he is doing. They go off in all sorts of weird directions!) You're having a good time tonight, aren't you?

    (Uh, Yeah, sure.)

    So, have you been here before or is it your first time?

    Wonderful! I'm glad to see you back here. Tell me, what is your favorite thing about this club?

    OR

    Wonderful! Welcome to Club Gotcha Money. I'm so glad you're here.

    EITHER WAY:

    What brings you out tonight?

    (Either they want to have fun or they want to relax. Whatever they tel you, it almost always boils down to one of these two.)

    So you are here to have fun/relax, right?

    (yes)

    Well, you are in luck! I'm your girl! Fun is my middle name! (corny but it gets a laugh)

    OR

    Well, you are in luck! I can soothe all your cares away!

    So tell me, what do you like to do for fun?






    And so on. Not to say you should adhere slavishly to this scipt for the next 3 years, but having a little something prepared WILL get you over the hump when you swallow your tongue.

    Also, once you get them talking about their hobbies, travel, work (if they bring it up first) you can jsut ask all kinds of questions. No knowledge required. try these:

    How did you get involved in that?
    What made you want to do that?
    What is your favorite __________ (team, state, part of your job, kind of paintbrush, book, make of car, etc.). WHY?
    What is your least favorite? Why?

    Also, try these when they won't talk much:

    Did you read about (random current event?) Paris (I think) or maybe Susan Wayward Told me to go to yahoo news and look up the unusual stuff.

    I was jsut thinking about (crazy thing that happened to you in high school, last years' wacky vacation adventure, worst job you ever had, etc.) Spin it out into a nutty story and then eilcit a similar story in response.


    No you are prepared. Go kick some ass!


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

  15. #13
    Cally
    Guest

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    Thank you everyone! I did a bit better today, still didnt score millions but im getting there. And I can relax a little more now since im finished my 'probation' period at my new club and the managers said they love having me there so that helps a lot. Now im going to piece together Phil and Colleens 'scripts' and go for it! I've set a very reasonable goal of $400 to work towards tomorrow and im going to make myself go up to every damn guy. Thank you everyone!

  16. #14
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    Yeah, but don't let yourself get too excited about everything they say, either. I was sitting with a guy once and I was in this kind of "everything is WONDERFUL!" type hustle, and the guy said he was a janitor. I didn't wait to process this information, I just bounced back with, "Oh wow, that must be SO MUCH FUN!" He thought I was making fun of him and got pissed off. No dance for Yekhefah.

  17. #15
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    3,422
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    ^^Ha, yeah when it comes to their jobs, I try to vibe off them. Like if they clearly don't think much of their job, I say "well lucky you, you get to come here and enjoy yourself once in a while! life's always that much better when you've got something to look forward to, right?". If they DO like their jobs I say "hey lucky you, how many people can say they love what they do for a living?"

  18. #16
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    It helps me go up to tables if I tell myself that I'm like a hostess, and part of my job is to make sure everyone is having a good time. This keeps me from feeling (and unconsciously projecting) that I'm just there to take their money away. Also, I don't feel rejected if they tell me they're waiting for someone else/just want to sit and have a drink for a minute/what have you.

    Also, remember that when making conversation, the actual content of what you say is very, very secondary. I ask every customer the same questions ("what have you been doing all day?", "where are you from?" "what brings you to town?" "have you been to the club before?") then pick up on things they say to keep the conversation going. It isn't what you say as much as the way you say it that is important. Most customers want to feel that you're listening to them and interested in them, and that you're a fun/nice/trustworthy person with whom they can have a good time. You can demonstrate all this with body language -- eye contact, leaning toward them, etc. -- as well or better than with words.

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to xoxoGracexoxo For This Useful Post:


  20. #17
    Senior Member FireTiger's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    83
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 10 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    Hey Cally!
    How are you, beautiful??? I wish that being successful was as easy as attending an 8 hour seminar, and POOF- instantly tripling your income!!! You will REALLY see the payoff when you MASTER the techniques you have been given at the dancer wealth seminar. Yes, you will find that many of the principles and ideas in the handbook will help you now, but it's REALLY going to pay off six months down the road when you've learned how to APPLY the things you've learned. You will make more money as you gain experience, but your income will increase at a much quicker rate because you have an edge.
    Keep reading your notes and listening to the CD's, and the money will come. If I were you, these are the key ideas I would drill into my brain:

    On page 3 Adam told us to draw a triangle scale, one side with pluses and the other with minuses. Every detail counts... you never know what's going to tip the scale, so do your best every single time.

    One of the most basic, yet most IMPORTANT details is grooming. Men notice your hair, makeup, fingernails and feet. This doesn't mean you have to get manicures every other week or spend a fortune on hair products, but you DO need to be clean and well kept. Otherwise it could break the deal.

    Other minuses are: a bad attitude, wearing an unflattering outfit, piercings and tattoos (for some guys- for others, it's a plus...) being MEAN to anybody, or even talking about negative things (having a pessimistic attitude.)

    Pluses are: SMILING, making them laugh (laughing has a physiological effect on the human body; it causes a release of hormones that make people relax, and YOU want him to de-stress and have a good time with you because that's what inspires them to give you money!!! ) Also, tapping into their fantasies- seeming sexually adventurous (I'm not telling you to act like a slut, just like you LOVE sex, because THEY do.)

    Another HUGE one is planting the idea in their head to spend money... we will get into that another time.

    Do you want to know one of my trade secrets? This is one of my BEST tips. It has earned me a small fortune. Use it wisely. I am reluctant to give it away, but I see a part of myself in you... Cally, you are so unknowingly pretty and enthusiastic you have no IDEA of your potential. I can't believe I'm GIVING THIS AWAY, it's so precious, but I like you, so here goes... This is the HOLY GRAIL of tapping into men's sexual fantasies. Are you ready?

    Watch porn. Go to a porn store, buy a couple of DVD's and a Hustler magazine, and LOOK at it because these are men's innermost fantasies at your fingertips. After that, go to a new book store and get a copy of PENTHOUSE LETTERS. Read them.

    This will help you in personal relationships too. TRUST ME.

    When guys at the club ask what you do for fun, tell them you run around naked and make out with your friends. When they ask if you have boyfriend, tell them you have a girlfriend. In fact, you made love to her right before you came to work. Ok, farewell my little seductress. I'd write more, but I could go on forever and I have much to accomplish today. It will come. I promise

  21. The Following User Says Thank You to FireTiger For This Useful Post:


  22. #18
    Senior Member lipsticktraces's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    82
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    i went as a customer to your club last ngiht,,, and i must say after talkign to the guys around me, there are a lot of cheapy custys there good lord! i was tlaking to this one guy in a suit ,, he had pretty bad breath too i might add,,, i was talking about how beautifull a lot of the girls were in the club,, as he had just refused like 2 or 3 dances with girls, i was like why arent you getting any dances,, and he was saying something about how he was here with some buisness friends,, and it wasnt appropriate, and i was like dude you are in a strip club of course its appropriate why would you come here if a lapdance wasnt appropriate... and he didnt have an excuse for that... and he was saying how he tipped the waitresses and he pays the bar staff... and i was trying to get him to understand that without the dancers there would be no bar staff and how he should really be supporting the dancers. he gets to go there and look at beautiful nude women he should be supporting them.. and he did agree with me. but he was a cheap bastard and i dont think he got a dance after i left. that was a tough crowd to work with ,, esp since there are sooo many girls that were working there. there were a ton of girls that came to my area, all of different shapes and sizes, ethnic origins,,,, nobody got a dance at all from my area, i think i was the only one. and that headstand thing was fucking awesome btw! you definitly have all the moves!

    anyway i hopebuisness improves for you and the dancers at that club and that itwas just a cheapy custy night and it isnt like that all the time, b/c that is a pretty nice looking place!

  23. #19
    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Most of the time in N. America, Asia, Europe or Australia
    Posts
    1,337
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo
    It helps me go up to tables if I tell myself that I'm like a hostess, and part of my job is to make sure everyone is having a good time. This keeps me from feeling (and unconsciously projecting) that I'm just there to take their money away.
    Fwiiw from a custy perspective, I think that is a brilliant psychological trick/technique. A lot of people underestimate how important the nonverbal parts of communication can be, what you call projecting; one's actual thoughts and attitudes are not as well hidden as one might think, so convincing yourself of something is a big step toward convincing anyone else (in any context, not just SC hustle), imo.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

  24. #20
    Featured Member CuriousSeeker's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    East Coaster
    Posts
    865
    Thanks
    480
    Thanked 66 Times in 37 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wwanderer View Post
    Fwiiw from a custy perspective, I think that is a brilliant psychological trick/technique. A lot of people underestimate how important the nonverbal parts of communication can be, what you call projecting; one's actual thoughts and attitudes are not as well hidden as one might think, so convincing yourself of something is a big step toward convincing anyone else (in any context, not just SC hustle), imo.

    -Ww
    This reminds me of a tip from a dancer who said that she spends time just greeting and meeting customers without the intention of sitting for a few songs and without the intention of trying to sell. It was literally just saying hello. She said if she did this before she went on stage, it dramatically improved her stage tips afterward. I can only imagine it would build interest in dances.
    "Don't piss off a motivated stripper."


  25. The Following User Says Thank You to CuriousSeeker For This Useful Post:


  26. #21
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Dear Gods plz send money to Oregon K luv you bye
    Posts
    1,780
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 13 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    It's, like, old thread day today...
    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    Like super-fast, frenetic, chipmunklike stylized humping with this look on her face like "Kill! Kill!"
    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    i think people like going to parties and clubs and looking like douchebags.

  27. #22
    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    1,331
    Thanks
    224
    Thanked 311 Times in 178 Posts

    Default Re: What is wrong with me!?

    I like the "hostess" mindset, particularly if I have a few minutes to kill before stage. I'll go introduce myself to a couple customers, tell them I'll be on stage soon and they should come see me. This increases the likelihood that they'll come tip me onstage and also get a dance later.

    Guys are usually taken aback that you're just saying hi and not immediately asking for a dance, so they will think of you favorably and when you go back after you get off stage they are more likely to get a dance! This works great especially if the customer(s) has just come into the club and you can sense they want to settle in awhile before getting a dance. They'll remember what a sweetheart you are when it's time for laps.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

Similar Threads

  1. I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
    By mediocrity in forum Life Support
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-09-2010, 10:15 PM
  2. Am I wrong for this???
    By reese_x_c in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-19-2008, 02:33 PM
  3. Am I in the wrong??
    By kaiarose in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 01-24-2008, 02:38 PM
  4. House Mom Done Wrong... Waaay Wrong
    By Aleah in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 01-23-2006, 11:04 PM
  5. House Mom Done Wrong... Waaay Wrong
    By Aleah in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 01-18-2006, 04:18 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •