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Thread: Something I wrote up

  1. #1
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Something I wrote up

    Let me lament on being a stripper. There are some things I really think that needed to be said.



    As a customer, you are not special. Not in the slightest. You are my income. You are my food, my rent and my new dress for the week. You are not my friend, my partner, my 'teacher' or my visitor. You are here to get a dance from me. You are here to see me naked on your lap for money. It's a good service and very much worth the $220 an hour you pay.

    Why do I say you're only my income and not my friend? Because I do not get paid to be your friend. You will not get free conversation with me if you won't buy a dance from me. I am broke today and need to earn money for my cabfare home. Don't want a dance? You know what's nice? A tip. Are you broke? Then give me $5 and apologize for being broke. Hell at least you TRIED. And don't fucking give me a $5 to talk to you when you know I saw the pile of $50s in your wallet. I counted at least 20 of them. Yes, I can count money by it's size. I do it everyday. I can estimate a pile of American 1s within 4 dollars seeing it across a room.

    Want to take me out? CONGRATULATIONS! You are in the only club in Queensland that offers that! What do you get? The fantastic opportunity to take me to dinner or the casino. It'll be $275 an hour for a minimum of two hours. Think that's expensive? In what other reality would you be able to take me out to dinner? If your 60 year old wrinkly butt came up to me, a young nineteen year old, on the street and asked to take me to dinner, I'd laugh! No, you do not get sex for that money.

    Now, onto the sex for money bit. Brothels are legal here. Prostitutes are a ten dollar cabfare away. Don't be asking me to suck your smelly (and yes, I can smell it from here) dick for $50. And what makes you think I'll suck you for $50 but fuck you for free? You think your penis will impress me so much I'll just -HAVE- to pounce it?! And you know what, I think it's great you wanna suck my clit, really. Of course you love to do it. Of course you'll do it for hours and make breakfast for me the next day. Y'know the five guys before you said the SAME DAMNED THING to me?! It's -not- rare to want to lick pussy! Trust me, I want to lick it all the time myself. And so does my boyfriend, so stuff it.

    And according to you, I don't have a boyfriend. That's not to say I want to be hit on - that's so you'll be my personal ATM because you think I'm pure and innocent. Even better, I'll tell you I have a girlfriend. No, sorry, don't cheat on my girlfriend. How will she know? I work with her. See? She's over there waving at me. I'll tell you stories about our sex if you give me an extra $40 an hour. If I do tell you I have a boyfriend it's because you really smell foul and I want to get you away as fast as I can. I'll tell you the owner's son is my boyfriend. He's agreed to pretend he is to guys like you. But don't tell his boyfriend.

    The waitress makes less than I do, please tip her.

    For the love of god, when I ask if you want a lapdance, do NOT ask for a 'preview'. This can either mean you want me to flash my (expensive!) goods or you want me to go on stage JUST so you can see if you MIGHT want me. Fuck that! Stage costs me 20 minutes of my time. 20 minutes equals about fifty bucks for me. Want me on stage? Give me fifty bucks. I will not ask to go on stage just so you can go, "Well, why would I want you now? I already saw your tits!" And no, I will not show you my tits 'real quick' for free.

    And about tits. Yes, they're real. Yes they DID grow really big in the last two weeks. You can thank hormones for that. I'm only nineteen, they're still growing. And I'm damned happy I went from a B to a C in two weeks. Doesn't mean they're fake. And what the hell is with people suddenly asking me if my lips are real?! Nothing on me is fake except for my love for you.

    Don't tell me I look like your child/grandchild/sister/wife's sister and then ask to suck my tit. Please! Last thing I need is a smelly seventy year old drooling on my cheek talking about how I remind him of his dear Sally and my pussy MUST look just like hers - only more mature - since she's only SEVEN! You sicko.

    If you are not dancing with me do not: grab my ass, grab my tit, touch my thong, pull my thong, snap my thong (actually, don't do this at all), spank me, pick me up or anything I only do FOR MONEY in dances.

    My glasses are real. STOP FUCKING GRABBING MY GLASSES OFF MY FACE AND TESTING THEM! I don't fucking grab your face, do I?! It's seriously fucking RUDE. And y'know what... when you fucking say "You look better without your glasses." my response WILL ALWAYS be "Thanks! You look better without my glasses too!" Because, dumbass, I NEED MY GLASSES TO SEE. Why don't I wear contacts? You get contacts in with acrylic nails. Really. Try it. Besides, my glasses are hot. Shove it.

    I can smell your rancid aging dick from ten feet away. Shower. And when you do shower, please wash under your foreskin. You smell like week-old sperm and lice droppings.

    AND TO THOSE FUCKERS WHO THINK THEY CAN DATE ME IF THEY DON'T BUY A DANCE... Yes, you... those fuckers who read 'The Game'. Those fuckers who think the first rule of dating a stripper is to never give her money. Yeah, YOU asshole. I. Do. Not. Spend. ANY. time. with. non-paying. customers.

    And don't tell me you fucked a stripper before. It's not impressive. It's NOT a status symbol. You will not get points for fucking a stripper. Besides, I've done it too.

    All you men - don't call me a flipping slut or whore! I respect whores very much, but I am not selling my body. Guess fucking WHAT?! I have a three month rule. YES I DO. You have to date me for THREE MONTHS before I'll CONSIDER fucking you. When I say that, don't tell me I must be bad in bed then. Because once I do fuck, I fuck at least 4 times a day and I love sucking my man off even more. And tell ya what, he's never complained. Just because I wait three months doesn't mean I don't have much sex. I've had sex about 30 times this week and you're PAYING to see pussy - who's worse in bed?

    Don't tell me about how much you love your wife but then try to get me to come to your hotel. It makes me want to cry. And sometimes I do... just because I feel so bad for that poor woman who thinks her boy is out drinking with the blokes while he's actually trying to proposition strippers for sex. That poor woman. I hope your dick shrivels and dies and your wife remarries to a rich faithful guy with a huge cock.

    Virgins are funny. Sorry, they just are. So shy. Kinda cute. Most are not assholes. They just wanna see and touch gently. Go virgins.

    Okay, I don't think this had to be said but DONT GRAB MY PUSSY, LICK ME, KISS ME OR TOUCH ANYWHERE BETWEEN THE THIGHS! I thought this would be VERY obvious (especially since I told you) but I don't like mandrool on my tits, I just showered thank you. And your grabby ass hands on my pussy? EWWW! I bet when you went to the bathroom you didn't even wash up. Nasty! Not to mention, there are some aspects of me ONLY ONE MAN can have. That would be the ability to kiss me. The ability to lick me. The ability to touch my pussy and the ability to fuck it, too. Disrespect my personal property and I will shove my stiletto in YOUR personal property.

    Just because the 'controller isn't watching' doesn't mean I'll say OKAY and let you lick/suck me 'real quick'. And don't FUCKING ARGUE WITH ME SAYING 'I know you really do want it'. No, I fucking don't. Do not tell me you don't care about security or cameras, that IT'S OKAY because no one will see. It's NOT OKAY because I will see, I will know and I will feel violated and molested.

    And yes. It IS molest and I can have you arrested. There are rules. There are boundries. My club gave me permission to call the cops on anyone I felt necessary. Just because I said you could touch my tit didn't mean I said you could touch my pussy. TO ALL YOU THAT THINK IT'S OKAY - just because a woman agreed to suck cock doesn't mean she agreed to get fucked - and that is STILL rape. I don't deserve to be molested just because I work in a strip club. I set boundries. I set rules. They KNOW better. It. Is. Molestation. And I -will- press charges. Don't think I wont. Ask that greek guy in prison right now.

    And y'know what?!

    Thank you. Thank you to the nice guys. Thank you to the guys who don't touch. Thank you to the guys who tip. Thank you to the guys who just want conversation. Thank you to the guys who buy me presents. Thank you to the guys who brush my hair and rub my back. Thank you to the guys who applaud after every stage show. Thank you to the guys who understand. Thank you, Gary. Thank you, fellow dancers. Thank you for your respect, thank you for your kindness. Thank you for your money.

    But most of all - Thank you for this last year I spent as a dancer.

    Happy 1 year.

    Morrigan

  2. #2
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    "Just because the 'controller isn't watching' doesn't mean I'll say OKAY and let you lick/suck me 'real quick'. And don't FUCKING ARGUE WITH ME SAYING 'I know you really do want it'. No, I fucking don't. Do not tell me you don't care about security or cameras, that IT'S OKAY because no one will see. It's NOT OKAY because I will see, I will know and I will feel violated and molested."

    I HATE that response to when I say, "No, you can't do that". I... seriously... hate it.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  3. #3
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    that was awesome.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member pipermarau's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Amen!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Very well done, I especially liked the thank you foot-note.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Wow, that basically stripper 101! Living in a strippers shoes for one night! That was awesome Morrigan, I really enjoyed reading that! The whole time, I'm saying,yep, yep, said that, thought that, heard that, etc.

  7. #7
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    <wild applause>

  8. #8
    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Every stripper should read this. Better yet every grabby, smelly, asshole custy should read this. If only they knew how annoying they are. Well done.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
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    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

  9. #9
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    I stopped taking this rant seriously after the first two paragraphs. Hell, even the dude at the qiki mart has better interpersonal skills.

    Business is a social skill. You will be on the edge and fucked in the world with this kind of "it's all about me" mindset.

    The mouth breathers who act badly touching and unwashed - yea - they deserve the rant.

    If the customers don't mean anything to you, don't be surprised when you don't mean anything to them.

  10. #10
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    ^^^
    Dude - "Stripping - General". Rant. Nuff said?
    LM - I think it is all about you, honey.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  11. #11
    Veteran Member
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    I've only danced one very sloooow nite and I ran into all the crazies Lillith is talking about. I don't know if I'll be brave enough to go dance again, but I just want to let you ladies know that you are the strongest, most amazing women I've ever met! To be able to put up with these guys on a regular basis just blows my mind.

  12. #12
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    You kick ass girl! I want to print that out and carry it around as a little disclaimer for people whle I am working.
    Happy first year.

  13. #13
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    To quote every other customer I dance for, "Very nice!"

  14. #14
    Senior Member Pinup Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol
    If the customers don't mean anything to you, don't be surprised when you don't mean anything to them.
    Yeah I'm sure we all really care what we "mean" to the customers! Hil-arious!

  15. #15
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol
    I stopped taking this rant seriously after the first two paragraphs. Hell, even the dude at the qiki mart has better interpersonal skills.

    Business is a social skill. You will be on the edge and fucked in the world with this kind of "it's all about me" mindset.

    The mouth breathers who act badly touching and unwashed - yea - they deserve the rant.

    If the customers don't mean anything to you, don't be surprised when you don't mean anything to them.
    It is a joke, funny, haha. Don't get offended, she is being witty and her audience is appreciates her time and thought into this creative tiraid.

    Go have a bong hit and chill


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  16. #16
    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    ^^^
    Dude - "Stripping - General". Rant. Nuff said?
    LM - I think it is all about you, honey.
    Good post for the ladies, but leaves no room for blue comments other than Deogol's.

    May have been better received in the Ladies Only! section.

    Sometimes I can spy a gal who is clearly having a LM moment. It's nice to buy a couple of dances without even exchanging introductions just to clear this vibe from the room. Just last week I bought two dances from a girl like this who is so not my type I wouldn't say "hi" to her if we sat next to each other on a violently turbulent and crowded plane ride.

    LM - the check is in the mail, I hope you feel better. Let us know when you want us to talk to you again.


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
    It's about those moments which leave you breathless."

  17. #17
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Quote Originally Posted by azcustomer
    Good post for the ladies, but leaves no room for blue comments other than Deogol's.

    May have been better received in the Ladies Only! section.
    But it belongs right here, it's about some of the humorous aspects of dealing with customers as a stripper, not about being a woman in general. If it had been posted in LO, it probably have been moved here, lol.

    And there's really no need for "blue comments" at all. Sorry, I'm not trying to offend you, but SG isn't here to cater to this sort of 'need to comment'.

    I have seen the results of women having to deal with the kind of shit described, and how exasperated they get, nearly every night I have worked.

    This is a good thing, for them to be able to write about it without worrying about political correctness, or what some customer somewhere might think about it.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  18. #18
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    The reality is, WE REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE CUSTOMERS AND THEY REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT US. OMFG!!!! What a revalation!!! It's a business exchange, that's all???? And people in business exchanges, when it comes right down to it, really only care about themselves???? WOW!!!!

    Right fucken on girl. This should be required reading for every person who sets foot inside a strip club.

    And, exactly when will you boys get it through your heads that there doesn't NEED to be room for any blue comments here in Stripping General???? It's for STRIPPING talk....and last time I checked, Blueballers don't do any STRIPPING. At least not in this context
    The Important Information! thread right at the top of this section tells you that Blueballer chatter is to be kept to a minimum here, so excuse us if we don't feel the need to make room for Blueballer comments in every STRIPPING GENERAL thread.
    Last edited by Bridgette; 06-09-2006 at 01:29 PM.

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    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  19. #19
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol
    You will be on the edge and fucked in the world with this kind of "it's all about me" mindset.
    Well should she have a special place in her heart for every guy who gets a dance and tries to feel her up? Nope.

    Stripping = business
    Mens = $

  20. #20
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    ^^^ And Deogol has finally had it. From now on in town meetings he will be arguing in favor of strip club closings and punative regulation. I don't have any friends in the business anymore (obviously) - what the fuck do I care? Maybe a little respect from the punkettes on the boards full of wise ass remarks and then wondering why no one wants to go to strip clubs anymore?

    Make your own fucking graves.

  21. #21
    Veteran Member ChloeTheRed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Thank you!

    I'll never understand why guys come into strip clubs and think they can get attention for free. I'm at work, dumbass. If you want to chat with me for free, you can head down to my favorite nightclubs. I'm at the Saloon most Mondays and Ground Zero most Thursdays. Be warned, though, you'll have to make it through the gay guys and oh-so-goth kiddies to get to me; and you'll have to get my attention on the basis of your own merits.

    "Don't be bitter because I'm expensive. Be bitter because you're cheap."

  22. #22
    Veteran Member ChloeTheRed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol
    Business is a social skill. You will be on the edge and fucked in the world with this kind of "it's all about me" mindset.
    I'm going to beg to differ on your interpretation.
    (1) She's a one-woman business, just like all the rest of us. One must be customer-service-oriented and such to a point, but after that, the customer you're losing isn't one that you wanted in the first place. "Losing a customer" isn't a bad thing when the customer isn't doing anything to help your bottom line, that is, the customer is a loser.
    And besides, since she's the one owning the business, running the business, paying taxes on the business, and investing in the business, hells yes it's all about her. We may be pretty good at playing that we like a guy (and at the end of the day, I may say to myself "I hope Francois had a good night." or "I'm glad Morgan was so happy. I hope he comes back."), at the bottom line, it's just me me me.

    (2) "You hate work? Me too. There's a support group for that. It's called 'everybody.' We meet at the bar."
    Ya gotta vent somewhere.
    And for us, somewhere is here. Yes, it's more cathartic to rant about the dickweeds than to praise the nice guys to the heavens, so you get to see the worst of everything. If the attitude bugs you, it's probably best for you to take a break from us for a while before you become even more bitter than us.
    And believe me, honey, that's pretty damn bitter.

  23. #23
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    It's better to bitch on here than it is in the dressing room..
    think about stores where all the sales people are wearing head sets, what do YOU think they are talking about..
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  24. #24
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol
    ^^^ And Deogol has finally had it. From now on in town meetings he will be arguing in favor of strip club closings and punative regulation. I don't have any friends in the business anymore (obviously) - what the fuck do I care? Maybe a little respect from the punkettes on the boards full of wise ass remarks and then wondering why no one wants to go to strip clubs anymore?

    Make your own fucking graves.
    Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Really. Please accept my apology for not taking your commentary as gospel. I had NO IDEA that you were single handedly keeping our business afloat. Did everyone else know this? No wonder you are so chafed by our ingratitude. I had no idea that we owed you such respect. You are clearly a stripclub deity; I beg you to accept this posting as a token of our esteem for you and continue to do... whatever it is you think you do that we owe you so greatly for.

    AZ - it was perfectly well received here. I don't think reading her posting that it was requiring a huge leap of intellect or etiquette to realize that a response of "what the fuck is your problem bitch? These guys are your bread and butter" is inappropriate. Plus which - all y'all who are customers? Might consider that this is, in fact our business. We do it every day. Or at least twice a week. We KNOW how to do it, probably way better than you.
    Last edited by Jenny; 06-09-2006 at 02:48 PM.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  25. #25
    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Something I wrote up

    Jenny and LM - like another not to be named one, I didn't catch the thank you at the end.

    Personally I found the tone of the first three paragraphs offended me so much I didn't make it to the end. Now I did and withdraw my earlier statement.

    However I will also add that not all business relationships are devoid of friendship and comraderie. I like to approach my business partners as just that, business partners - get to know them, how they like to conduct their business so let them know how I like to conduct mine. For good customers and good vendors, I will make concessions. And from time to time, they cross the line and I find a way to let them know it.

    I've also found it is very bad business to complain about any customer, no matter how bad, in front of good customers, no matter how loyal they are.

    But I agree that the random vendor and customer are the ones to be careful of. And yes, forums are great places to rant and vent. It's also a good place to get constructive feedback.


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
    It's about those moments which leave you breathless."

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