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Thread: Gifts of appreciation

  1. #1
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    Default Gifts of appreciation

    I'm amazed by the fact that I discovered this site and immediately realised it was the place to answer a question I have. I'm new to the "gentlemens club" scene but have had dances with the same lovely lady on each of the occasions I've visited. She's really sweet in that I can escape from life and enjoy the moment - which is what I want more than anything else. I really want to show my appreciation to her and was thinking of going back again with a small gift. My question is what should I get her. I don't want to get something that she might think too personal and I don't want to get something that is over the top and makes her feel uncomfortable.

    Thanks in advance for the advice.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Some of these usually work out nicely. I haven't had a dancer claim yet that they were too personal or over the top.

    How many you want to give her is entirely up to you.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Here's a personal rule of mine, it's worked well for me so far, NO GIFTS!

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    Featured Member kikin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Don't know if I can safely post here in customer convo. I guess we shall see...

    Anyway, my word of advice: Never give gifts to a stripper!!! Ever!!! If she does a good dance you may tip her occasionally but not excessively.

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    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    As a dancer, let me comment on this one -

    There were two gifts that I have recieved that truly, truly stood out. One was a book of poetry, with a small card inside that had some of those lovely twenties tucked in it.

    The other was a small stuffed doggie, that had a card with (guess what?) cash inside.

    It's not a nice thing to say, but expensive gifts (except maybe good jewelry), come across as trying too hard to have something more than we have at that time. Sometimes something small will come across as a cheap guy trying to get more from you. It's not very nice, and I personally try not to think that way, but after it happens so many times to you, you get a bit cynical.

    A small, sweet gift with a little money is the perfect compromise.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    I think buying gifts for a dancer you barely know is creepy. Most likely those gifts will make you the topic of conversation in the dressing room (not in a good way). If youre feeling appreciative towards a dancer you recently met just give her extra money. But if you have an established long term business relationship, gifts can be appropriate, especially those that are meaningful and timely.

    But dont expect those gifts to get you something that wasnt already on the table. Do it because you want to and can afford it.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  7. #7
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    I agree, gifts will creep her out. If you want to show your appreciation (and get a little more appreciation in return), a nice tip is well in order!

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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    The best gifts you can give a dancer: money and being a well behaved customer (don't ask her out, don't ask personal details of her life, keep your hands, lips, tounge where they belong).

  9. #9
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna78
    The best gifts you can give a dancer: money and being a well behaved customer (don't ask her out, don't ask personal details of her life, keep your hands, lips, tounge where they belong).

    Jenna the money part is fine and I agree. But asking a custie to keep things where they belong might be an unreasonable expectation

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  10. #10
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    I agree, gifts will creep her out. If you want to show your appreciation (and get a little more appreciation in return), a nice tip is well in order!
    But a long term business relationship can come in to play. At least in situations where the dancer likes long term regulars. And the regular is content to stay with her.

    My fave has an awesome Dell laptop, 20/15 Lasik vision and a home tanning bed. Call me crazy but I like gifting

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  11. #11
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    ^^ heh heh, I'[ve never received too much more than a few hundred for the holidays..
    BUT one time a reg gave me an oufit that was NOT me at all, upon seeing me wear it he apoligzed and said that he really should have paid more attention to my style.. At least he knew it wasn't me, wow what a BAD outfit it was.. I wore it for him, but it really wasn't me..
    I like jewelry that I can wear to work and not worry that it will break, nothing too cheap, but nothgin to pricey either.. Then again, random twenties are always memorable.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Quote Originally Posted by gypsy_girlchild
    ^^ heh heh, I'[ve never received too much more than a few hundred for the holidays..
    BUT one time a reg gave me an oufit that was NOT me at all, upon seeing me wear it he apoligzed and said that he really should have paid more attention to my style.. At least he knew it wasn't me, wow what a BAD outfit it was.. I wore it for him, but it really wasn't me..
    I like jewelry that I can wear to work and not worry that it will break, nothing too cheap, but nothgin to pricey either.. Then again, random twenties are always memorable.
    Most custie/dancer shelf life situations dont last long enough to generate gifts more than a few hundred. Thats the norm.

    Random twenties are probably better as compared to buying an attrocious outfit LOL

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  13. #13
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    At least he apologized.. I had known the guy for a year as my top regular... He really should have known that I never wear shorts sets.. especially orange red ones with bell sleeves.. I am just happy he didn't make me wear it more than once.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  14. #14
    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR
    I think buying gifts for a dancer you barely know is creepy. Most likely those gifts will make you the topic of conversation in the dressing room (not in a good way). If youre feeling appreciative towards a dancer you recently met just give her extra money. ...
    Money, period.

    Don't try to show her and all the other dancers that you have a 'special' personal relationship - I can just hear the dressing room banter now.

    Respect the fact that she has her own personal life outside the club and it's healthier for all involved to keep it that way.


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
    It's about those moments which leave you breathless."

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Quote Originally Posted by azcustomer
    Money, period.

    Don't try to show her and all the other dancers that you have a 'special' personal relationship - I can just hear the dressing room banter now.

    Respect the fact that she has her own personal life outside the club and it's healthier for all involved to keep it that way.
    AZ I agree with your post in terms of the workaday custie/stripper situation. If things by chance do move beyond that its best to keep it OTC as not to generate dressing room gossip.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Luke34's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    I have regularly given gifts. It usually is given to the dancer(s), reception or bar staff who spend a bit of time with me and is also dependant on how good my finances are at the time.

    If some of these gifts have caused dressing room chatter, I dont care. It is a transaction between the recepient of the gift and me.

    If it is a token of your appreciation and you figure it will make her happy, do it. If you figure it will creep her out... dont. If you are not sure after spending all this time with her... ask her.

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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    i have a regular that gives me gifts that are inside jokes to us. something that is not too serious, a little silly or something she really likes. i had a customer give me a beach boys cd because of an inside joke and i loved it, all the girls thought it was hilarious because they were there when the joke was 'born'. i got drunk and decided the beach boys songs were the 'story of my life'. never replace gifts with money unless they're bitchin' gifts though. if youre unsure of a gift and its serious dont do it, she might be creeped out. if its all in good fun go for it.

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    Veteran Member Isolabella's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Tacky gifts make for awkward moments and can alter her perception of you, so choose well.
    I love great gifts and always show my appreciation with a free dance or two or extra chat time. Give her something she can use, and plan on $100-$300. My favorites are perfume or gift certificates for Victoria's Secret or MAC make-up. (My ultimate would be computer software. lol) My bf bought my new fave perfume by Hermes, Un Jardin Sur Le Nil. Don't get something overpowering if you go the perfume route. The best thing about great gifts is the mood they put me in. I feel special and I glow, and bank more because of it. Good luck!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Time is a precious currency. Don't waste your own, or steal it from others. No matter how much you think they have, or how little value you give them. - Me http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=isolabella

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    Veteran Member ChristyWild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    I have to say that one former customer, who I used to spend a lot of time with over the course of about 2 years or so, only once gave me a gift, but I really appreciated it- it was a white gold ring (cuz he remembered me mentioning a couple times when we talked on such things that I preferred it) with my birthstone (blue topaz) in it- and my perfect ring size! He never relaly gave me much else other than good tips, but I've always remembered ths time and thought that went into that one, cuz he'd remembered bits and pieces from different conversations, and wanted to get me something nice for my birthday before he moved away.
    Age is only important when it comes to wine and whiskey!



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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    One of these slipped into some discreet crevice of her car really says "I care".

    http://www.pimall.com/nais/worldtrackersms.html

    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    I love getting gifts, I don't think it is creepy at all.

    Of course it does depend on the custie giving the gift. For instance if it is someone I have only danced for once and he's following me around the club all of the time and shows up with a ring I might be alarmed. Luckily that has never been the case for me.

    I have recieved everything from cheap stuffed animals, to gift certificates for food, clothes, music etc, to jewelry (on my b-day, or valentines day). I always say thank you, and if I have time sit a bit. If I don't have time I go about my business and save the chit chat for another night.

    Just my 2 cents.

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    Member someonesmiles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverback
    One of these slipped into some discreet crevice of her car really says "I care".

    http://www.pimall.com/nais/worldtrackersms.html

    Ha ha ha ha ha...

    I think sending flowers to the club is always a nice gesture, but if she doesn't like you they will go straight into the garbage or to the first taker. As said above - nothing, but nothing, replaces $$$.
    "I've been in more laps than a dinner napkin."
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    the key is how well you know her. if you've been a regular for awhile, it's a little less akward. also, it helps it be less akward if there's an occasion.. like her birthday/xmas/a graduation/etc. i find that "fun" gifsts are less creepy than "romantic" ones. the romantic kind give you that "uh oh, he's trying to date me" feel. once, i broke a pair of shoes while dancing with a regular and gave me the money they cost. that was really sweet/awesome of him. also, i had a regular get me an ipod nano for xmas because he knew i wanted one. that's obviously a little expensive, but it was an awesome gift. i guess what i'm trying to say is... if you get to a level of "friendship" with a dancer, it's ok to "gift" when apropriate, but keep the gift a friendly one, something you would give a PLATONIC friend.

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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    To clarify:
    1) I would never assume a gift is a replacement for cash (in this situation).
    2) I would never expect a gift to result in anthing beyond a smile, a thank you, and maybe a warm feeling that many guys aren't really just ass holes who think money can buy anything.
    3) I would never buy anything that insinuated anything more than a sign of appreciation (i.e. nothing more personal than an in joke or a gift based on conversation).
    So I guess my point is thanks for the positive advice, thanks for some of the negative advince, and what can I say .... thanks but no to some of the other advice, or lack thereof.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gifts of appreciation

    I think you have a pretty good handle on it; what I think some of guys are saying is that gifts are not NECESSARY. If you spend good money, that makes us happy and really ensures the best service. If you also tip (at least in an area in which tipping is not the norm) you're gold. That said - I have two views. I used to feel very uncomfortable about receiving anything "expensive" - that is, a customer bought me a book we had discussed. That I appreciated. Another customer bought me jewellery. That, I felt uncomfortable about - like he was trying to place me under obligation. I have since gotten over that, honestly. I've had regular customers buy me "expensive" (that is more expensive than a book) gifts, and I have very much appreciated it. Inexpensive gifts are always nice - once a guy brought in a package of crackers that I liked (I like to eat crackers) and a can of iced coffee and became my hero.
    I would recommend that you stay away from stuffed bears that are wearing t shirts that read "I wuv you THIS much" and their ilk. Outside of that, I think you have a good grasp. You may buy gifts if giving them gratifies you, but the girls will really be just as grateful and gratified by good patronage.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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