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Thread: Rant About My Cat

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    Angry Rant About My Cat

    Don't get me wrong, I love this cat. I really do. But he is a big fat bitchy pain in my ass sometimes. He snores and wheezes. He never scratches so his claws are too long, and it makes clicking noises when he walks. He wakes me up every morning screaming to be fed (NOT meowing - screaming). He's getting senile, so sometimes he forgets whether he's eaten or not and screams some more. He scatters food all over the kitchen floor and kicks litter all over the den. He gets angry when my boyfriend goes out of town and shits on the stairs.

    Right now he has developed an intolerance for cheap food so he has diarrhea. He smells. He sheds. At this moment he has a long hair protruding from his behind with a piece of dried doo stuck to it. (I had to cut it off, and he scratched me.) Sometimes in the middle of the night he wants to be petted, so he jumps into bed with me and starts poking me in the neck with one claw until I wake up. He drools in his sleep.

    I'm about to spend money I really don't have on expensive food so he'll stop squirting everywhere, and on a professional groomer so he won't stink. They'll also trim his nails and clean in his ears, although he will still have liver spots in there. For my reward, I'm sure, he will be surly with me and probably take a dump on the stairs to express his anger.

    And yet, I love the little fucker. I love it when he cuddles up next to me and purrs. He really does enrich my life. But dammit, sometimes he's a pain in my ass and I just wanted to rant about it.

  2. #2
    smartcookie
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Well, let me tell you about my cat. I rescued her off the streets two years ago, and got her spayed, all her shots, etc. Then she developed diabetes. She needs a special high-protein diet that is very expensive and makes her shit stink up the place so bad I can smell it as soon as I get off the elevator. She won't eat her food unless the bowl is filled to the rim, and won't drink from her dish unless it's placed in a certain spot on the floor. If it's six inches to the left, she just stares at it and cries. She gets her fur everywhere. Because we're tight on space, I keep socks and underwear in bins under the futon. Anytime I leave the house or sleep late, she cries and drags all my socks out of their container. Sometimes I wake up covered in socks. She wakes my boyfriend and I up in the middle of the night because she wants to cuddle with him, but after 10 minutes she hops off. After spending thousands of dollars on this cat, the ungrateful little twit only pays attention to my boyfriend, but can't be bothered with me unless he's not here.

    And yet, I love her.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    I busted up laughing at your story! Im sorry but it was too funny not to laugh. My cat is the same way. He's almost 10 years old now. He stopped pooping in my house. You know he misses you when you leave so he's gonna leave a treat for you when you come home...well maybe not.
    The cheapest best food Ive found is Purina Pro Plan at Petsmart. I love my cat too eventhough he's a constant hairball barfer.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  4. #4
    Veteran Member SexeJaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    LOL...Your so cute Yekhefah

  5. #5
    Senior Member HoneyHITZmore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    lol i laughed at this too, cats are like little people, think about, as people age, we get crabby and unbearable too, hehe

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Good to know I'm not the only one!

    I'm going to go get him from the groomer in a few minutes. I'm sure he will be livid. But while he was gone, I scrubbed the house top to bottom and it smells so lovely in here now! Heh heh!

  7. #7
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Bahahahahahaha! *wipes tear from eye*

    As a fellow cat owner I SO feel for you. I love my kitties but god damn if they aren't a total pain in the ass sometimes.

    Gigi is retarded. Literally. She pees all the time because she forgets she just got a drink so she drinks more. She's also got the shell shocked new kitten open eyed stare all the time. She was rescued from an abusive home so she lives in my daughters room and never comes out because she's afraid of everything.

    Duppa is bulemic. Swear to god that f'ing cat pukes more than Nicole Richie. He also has a habit of drinking water out of the toilet and leaves little wet paw prints on the seat. He also thinks bean bags are full of cat litter and will pee on them sometimes. He also thinks it's fun to walk on my ankles when i'm in bed.

    Lola is just pissy all the time. She HATES Gigi and takes every chance she can to terrorize her. She also likes to sneak up on the two male cats and smack them in the ass/eye when they least suspect it which causes all kinds of ruckus. She also will pee on someones things if they yell at her too much for picking on the other cats.

    Leon is a 25lb eating machine. Scarey thing is he isn't fat, he's just one big ass solid kitty. He isn't real bright but he's very lovey and likes to be patted all the time and will cry if you don't. He also cries when people sneeze. He runs full on into windows when birds land outside so often that i'm afraid he'll smash through a screen someday and fall 2 stories. He snores. Loud. Like fat man loud. He also has a bad habit of always landing on my chest/stomache when he jumps up onto the bed. All 25lbs of him.

    I love all four of them to death.



  8. #8
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    You know, with all that furious masturbating in your avatar, you'd think the cat would be in a really good mood.

    A groomer makes a huge difference. I have to shave my 19-year-old, 15-lb furry white Persian (who looks exactly like the cat in your avatar) because otherwise he would just become this huge ball of knotted white yarn with two green eyes.

    He's diabetic, too, but special food is not enough to regulate him. I have to give him PZI insulin injections twice a day and monitor his blood sugar.

    This beatiful cat was originally my ex's, but he's completely adopted me and now we are major buddies.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member kermit210's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Kermit's in my avatar. He's 13 and has diabetes. He has the overpriced prescription-only (WTF?) food, and I get the joy of cramming a pill down his throat every morning. He does the claw clicking and refuses to drink out of a bowl like the other heathens. Only fresh running water from the sink is good enough, so he yells at you to turn the water on every time you walk past a sink, then leaves wet pawprints.

    But, he hugs you like a child every time you pick him up.

    *sucker*
    I propose a toast - to my self control.... I see you crawling, helpless, on the floor.......
    -Mark Sandman

  10. #10
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    ^have you tried a fountain, made for cats or otherwise? I've seen running water cat bowls before.

  11. #11
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    At least I'm not the only sucker being run down by a feline! Sounds like everyone's cats are great. The good news is that I picked Brando's fat elderly ass up from the groomer and he isn't angry with me at all. He smells great, he's glossy and handsome, his ears are nice and clean, and his nails are short and neat. He's still snuggly and purring. They even cleaned his teeth free of charge because he only has two of them.

    Oh, and TOO, that's not him in my avatar. Here's Brando (high on catnip in this pic)...
    Last edited by Yekhefah; 10-15-2008 at 10:13 PM.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    ^^ Awww your kitty is soo cute! I like my cats fat like that.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  13. #13
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Yes, he's very cuddly! He's actually not as obese as he looks; a lot of that is muscle. He's just a really big dude. I thought about putting him on a diet, but he's happy and healthy, and he's in great shape for a cat his age (he's 16). He still runs around sometimes and can even hunt and catch moths, so it's all right if he's a little portly.

  14. #14
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    This works wonders. You can also shop around and find one that you like better. Trust me, I have three cats. Saves my fingers when I have to give them pills.


    http://www.jefferspet.com/ssc/produc...D=0&pf_id=1346


    http://www.nextag.com/norob/PtitleSe...itle=506373355

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  16. #16
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Leon


    Lola and Duppa (he's peeking out the top)


    I can't find any of Gigi mainly because when she sees a camera she runs... scardey cat!



  17. #17
    Banned TifaRae's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Awww Brando looks like my cat!! My cat's a badass, he decapitates rabbits.

    I love cats that are all fat and snuggly!

  18. #18
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Aw, what sweethearts! Lola looks like one BIG cat! I wouldn't fuck with her!

    I think Brando is actually glad he went to the groomer today. I'm sure he gave them a hard time, but he's been so pleasant all afternoon. Even when no one is paying him any attention, he just curls up and purrs. I can't get over how silky and soft he is, or how great he smells, and his ears are cleaner than I've ever seen them, and his claws are so short and neat. (They were so long and funky they were black!) I really thought he'd be mad, but he's acting sort of like I do after a really nice long thorough bath. I guess he was tired of being dirty and stinky, too. Maybe we'll do the groomer thing again sometime!

    It was nice of them to clean his teeth for free. I didn't ask for a teeth cleaning because it costs $15 and he only has two fangs anyway. But because there were only two they went ahead and cleaned them, and it's nice that his fangs aren't brown anymore.

  19. #19
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    TifaRae, Brando is a badass too! You gotta watch out for those tabbies, they're tough! Brando has a bad reputation as a cat-killer. He's the most cuddly old lapcat I've ever seen and he loves all the people he meets, but he HATES cats. Before I got him he was in foster care, and he spent over a year living in a cage because all the foster homes had other cats and he was a danger to them! He got out of his cage once at age 14 and within one minute had mauled another cat so badly that the poor little guy needed blood transfusions and several stitches, and he lost part of his ear. It's hard to believe because Brando loves people so much, but man, he really hates cats.

  20. #20
    Cally
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Aww your all making me miss my kitty I had the coolest most bad ass cat on the block. We got her as a baby, she was tossed in a ditch in a bag with 5 other kittens. I was walking down the street and heard crying and found them. We took them to the humane society and kept one for ourselves. We had her for 16 years.. she died last weekend My mom called me while I was at the DW seminar to tell me that 'Kitty'(the only name she would ever respond to) had passed away. They found her on my old bed on my pillow. She lived a long full life.. we were surprised she lived that long because the vet said she suffered severe malnutrition since she was only 3 weeks old when we found her with her sibblings(who all passed away at the humane society). She was awesome.. she bossed around every damn cat on the block and was so sweet. She would curle up around my head and purr softly whenever I had a migraine and followed me everywhere whenever I was home. She also used to catch birds and bring them in the house and look all proud of herself lol. Then she started hiding them behind the couch(yuck) but we loved her. I have a couple pics of her I will try n scan and post tomorrow...

    You all have super cute kitties!!

  21. #21
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    I don't want to say it because that's Brando's age, but 16 is a nice full life for a kittycat. Cally, it sounds like Kitty did well and lived a rich life full of love, and what could be better than that?

  22. #22
    Cally
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    I know she lived a full rich life and passed on as a happy kitty Brando im sure has many more years to come Im sure Kitty would have as well if she didnt have a shitty start to life. Brando sounds like he has a lot more to go. Sorry didnt mean to bring the topic down heh.. im envious of you all with her kitty kats! I cant have one since Alex is super allergic. So I shall live vicariously through you all with yer happy silly kitties

  23. #23
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Lola looks deceivingly big in that picture (she still kicks everyones butt lol), i'll try and get a better "size representational" one later. Leon is the heifer in the group, he's running around 25lbs currently. I've trained him to respond to the "BUG" command. I just yell BUG! and point and he goes to town. Unfortunately because of his size and his continued ability to toss himself around he generally ends up knocking over chairs etc in his attempt to catch himself a nice crunchy bug snack.

    I'm not looking forward to losing them to age eventually. Duppa is the oldest in the group, he's around 8 I think.

    Leon with my youngest daughter in 2001


    Leon, same daughter, 2004



  24. #24
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    All I have read is the initial post in this thread.... all I can say is I can soooo empathise! No matter what abuse my cat does to me I love her to death. At the same time, my flatmate's cat has wormed his way into my heart so that he can be a little demon (and my flatmate and myself are forever joking around about how evil he is.. how he wasn't born but spawned.. he is a Sith kitty (star wars joke) and so forth)... pee everywhere (he has wrecked the carpets in this unit and I just know I won't get my bond back thanks to him ...I was even worried I would be black listed due to the state of the carpets thanks to him...even after a pro. clean he will just re-mark all the old spots.. argh!)... and so forth.. yet I love him.

    As for the clipping and grooming... really.. why can't you do all that? In the end it will be much cheaper for you to do it. After you do it often enough, the cat will get used to it... I speak from experience. My flatmate's cat wasn't used to having his claws clipped, ears cleaned or a bath... yet after 3 years now.. he doesn't freak out as much anymore. Both of them hate being bathed (it's the water and being so drenched they both dispise).. and aren't too fond of the ear cleaning (therefore it can take quite awhile for me to do both ears)... yet the clipping of the claws has come easy now that I tend to do it when they are relaxed (that's the key).


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  25. #25
    Veteran Member kermit210's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant About My Cat

    Quote Originally Posted by fancygirl
    ^have you tried a fountain, made for cats or otherwise? I've seen running water cat bowls before.
    Yeah, unfortunately he hated that, as well. He wouldn't drink from it, but would express his hatred of it by using his paw to splash water out of it. And continued to scold me from the sinktops.

    Anybody want to buy a barely used cat fountain?

    Crow, thanks for the pill dispenser links.
    I propose a toast - to my self control.... I see you crawling, helpless, on the floor.......
    -Mark Sandman

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