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Thread: Carmen's first rant.....

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Carmen's first rant.....

    I am about to pull out my hair. I have to post this b/c the 4 AM bitchfest w/my fiancee has not done it for me.

    I worked this past Fri, Sat, and last night (Monday). All these times I was the ONLY girl NOT getting tipped well onstage. I am really, really, sick of it at this point. I made decent money on these days, but my tips were horrendous.

    I pride myself in trying to make a good stage show. I keep a smile on my face, make eye contact, and maybe even bust out some pole tricks. Despite this, I will get tipped a dollar or two for my efforts from the very full tiprail. I have been dancing for three years, so I've been through the whole "not tipping the black girl thing," but this is my third night in a row of this bullshit.

    We did not have very many girls last night, so we went onstage a lot. There were the same fuckers at the tiprail everytime. After the second time of making NO money from the bastards sitting at the tiprail, I decided the next time I was not taking off anything. I put on my long gown, and danced for myself. I still got tipped, (from custys out in the tables) but I hate that I would have to do that. Once the other girls came on, dollars were shed out before they could shed a thing.

    I am not saying that I am the best thing since sliced bread, but I am worth a dollar. Getting really tired of girls far less attractive with half my dancing ability, making more onstage once, than I've made all night. This doesn't usually happen to me too often anymore, but its happened to me the last three night I've worked. I am on the verge of flicking off the tiprail after my stage set.

    I hate that this is even getting to me, and I don't want to start yet another race thread, but I had to vent. I am working on Wednesday, and if these people don't tip me, may God help them, cuz I am going to SNAP!!!!!!


    Thanx for the vent.....all better now.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    At my club, we've all taken a cue from one of the girls and we'll make them tip. When you go around and collect your tips after the show, if someone hasn't tipped you, just sit back and smile patiently and stare him down. They get the point and will usually at least pull out a dollar. You can also do this in the middle of the show if no one is tipping - hang out on the pole and just wait, or stretch out on the stage and look around expectantly, etc. Sometimes a reminder is enough.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Thanks Yekhefah. I used that method once last night and it did not work. It usually will work for me if the custys are tipping little to no girls. The other dancers did not need to "remind" these losers to tip however.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    I'm sorry that's happening to you Carmen. As far as the not tipping the black girl bit, I can (kind of) understand. My little sis is mixed, and that happens to her a lot too. One day she just stood up on the stage and said "Y'all won't tip a dollar, and I'm the ghetto one?". I remember how hurt she was. Just remember this too will pass, and you'll be back in the money in no time.

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    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Wow I'm sorry about that. It must feel shitty getting up on stage at this point. Are you still making money on the floor? If so then I guess just try to keep your confidence up and hopefully better tippers will start showing up.

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    Senior Member Pinup Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Damn that sucks. Give it some time hon. There was a girl at the club I worked at who wasn't getting tipped by some stupid frat jerks at the rail. I went up to one of them and said, "If you sit here, you're supposed to tip." He said, "She's not good enough." I fucking went ballistic on this motherfucker.

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    Featured Member lolagetz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    I make sure i get a tip from every guy sitting at the tip rail. I'll go up to them and stand there naked for a second, and if they don't get it, then I tell them, "Come on, I'd give you a dollar if YOU got naked!" So, yeah, that works for me.

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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    PREJUDICE is alive and well. I deal with that bullshit all the time. Guys just want to tip the white girls.

    Have you tried to confront these assholes and ask them why they won't tip you, but tip the white girls?

    A GOOD DJ can minimize this shit. A good black DJ at a club I booked at REALLY pushed for all the girls when guys weren't tipping and it REALLY made a difference. Guys will tip and buy dances when a good jivey but personable DJ constantly pushed them to do so.

    Many of these DJ's do absolutely nothing but program music and play CD's and don't promote us. They take our tip outs for granted.

    You could discuss this with the various DJ's you work with and give them a written script to say when you are on stage. Tell them that the better they promote you, the more tip out they will get. If they don't push the crowd hard for you, reprimand them.

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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    It sucks when guys single out a particular race of type of girl to not tip. I hate that, it's so prejudiced and ignorant and stupid. I mean, it's a freakin dollar! It's not going to kill them to give a girl a dollar even if its not their type. Um, if it makes anyone feel better, there are parts of the country where guys pull that same bullshit on the only white girl in the club. It's about the customer's stupidity, don't let it get to you, just know taht you look good and you put on a good show so its on them, not you. Also, see if you can get taken of the stage rotation so you don't have to deal with. That's what I want to do but my club wont let me.

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    Veteran Member showmethemoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Carmen,
    From what you've said it does sound like it could be a prejudice thing. Have you been at this club long? Maybe it's just one of those weeks. I can say out of all the dancers I've ever known, the biggest $$$ makers were black.
    Don't focus on your color, focus on your qualities.
    I think bad stage tips are just a thing in Ohio. Last night at my club, no girl got a tip until about 11:00...the place was full of guys too.
    You gotta be more agressive. What I do when this sorta thing happens, is wave them over, flirt with him,do whatever you can to get the guy over there..so he can see you. If he doesn't end up tipping you..than he's an idiot and let him go.
    You should get yourself a new outfit, get your hair done, or get some new jewelry or something. Do whatever you can to look your absolute best. When you feel you look beautiful it really shows. Keep your head high and your shoulders back...carry yourself like you are the best thing since sliced bread, because you are GORGEOUS girl.
    Maybe you should consider trying out a new club for a bit...if this is your home place. I used to work at Club Royale in Pittsburgh, that was a really fun & profitable place to work.
    Anyway, I wish you the best.

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    I think that Carmen has made it a point that she is NOT focusing on her color. But the guys are. I think this is a very hard concept for a white dancer to grasp, because this is not her experience. There ARE times where, no matter how fabulous I looked or how bright I smiled, some men would NOT look at me. They would see brown skin and make a CONSCIOUS DECISION to turn their heads away. Not even look at my face. It does happen and it HURTS, really badly.
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Quote Originally Posted by francescadubois
    I think that Carmen has made it a point that she is NOT focusing on her color. But the guys are. I think this is a very hard concept for a white dancer to grasp, because this is not her experience.
    I don't think it's that difficult to grasp. I'm white, and I get it. If you're not in denial about how deeply racist our (American) society is, it really isn't hard to grasp.

    I think some of the other posters were just trying to offer something beyond a "Gee, that sucks for you!" sort of comment....

    I'm tempted to do that, too--to say, "hey, maybe you're doing too good a job up onstage, cuz I found that when I danced too hard I made less money" or some such thing...but really, I believe you when you say:

    Quote Originally Posted by francescadubois
    There ARE times where, no matter how fabulous I looked or how bright I smiled, some men would NOT look at me. They would see brown skin and make a CONSCIOUS DECISION to turn their heads away. Not even look at my face. It does happen and it HURTS, really badly.
    All I can really say in response is that I also had nights when I was treated like shit, though the reasons may have been different. There are lots of racist fucks out there, but there are also plenty of Equal Opportunity Assholes .

    I think it hurts more, though, when it can be attributed to something as integral, and as culturally and emotionally and socially charged as race. In a way, I think it's easier when you don't know what's causing guys to ignore or insult you. I could say to myself, "Well, maybe he only likes girls with big fake titties," or "maybe he's not an ass man" or "maybe I remind him of the bitch who cheated on him with his best friend." I could chalk it up to a guy having a shitty day, or to me being off my game. Whatever I chose to attribute it to, it didn't open up a whole bunch of old wounds....y'know?
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Thank you to all the ladies. I feel much better now. Getting taken off rotation is no go when we have very little girls, as was the case. The DJ that night does not care to "hype" us up, and does not pay attention to see if guys are even tipping. Yes, it would be cool if he would say something about the custys not tipping.

    Thank you show me the money! Yes, this is my home club and I have been there for three years. I drive an hour already and the other clubs are too high mileage for me. Bad stage tips happen, but when you are literally the ONLY ONE not being tipped, when all the other girls are getting tipped $2 per person at the tiprail, then it is about race. It's fine if they don't care for black women. Its fine if they don't think I am attractive. But I am worth a dollar. If I were a white, fat, ugly, girl ,with flip flops on, I would have gotten a few dollar from some of them probably. That is what angers me.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you Frances!!!!! It is so much of a relief for someone to understand. I accept that I usually have to work harder and be nicer than the other entertainers. But when I can't even get 5 bucks onstage and the others can get twenty, theres a damn problem! I know that people in general are usually more comfortable with whats familiar to them. Black women may not be "familiar" to them. They may feel awkward or have no experience w/black women, let alone a live naked one. But I am not asking for a dance, just a measly tip onstage.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Veteran Member showmethemoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Guess I forgot to mention that I'm half black. Curious why anyone would jump to conclusions.

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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick
    They may feel awkward or have no experience w/black women, let alone a live naked one. But I am not asking for a dance, just a measly tip onstage.
    Exactly. Guys who sit stageside should tip. Period. If their tastes are selective to the point where they just won't tip girls who don't fit their preference, then they shouldn't sit stageside.

    You're right to be pissed--but I hope things get better. It sounds like you usually do really well, and this was kind of atypical...
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Veteran Member pipermarau's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    as the only red head in my club, i can say i've had a taste. i sit and watch every dumb blonde, smart blonde, fat blonde, skinny blonde, fakeboobies blonde, plretty blonde, oogley blonde, EVERY blonde get tipped. when i go on stage they look away. i want a wig for those nights. i see blondes go up to guys, look at them and suddenly they are dancing. no conversation, no nothing, just "hi-" dance. it annoys me, yes, but i know its not my fault. my advice:

    if they are not tipping you on stage, but are tipping the other girls, yet you are getting good money on dances, perhaps they thought you worthy of more than $1. maybe these other girls are struggling on the floor and are relying on stage tips. maybe the guys think they are only worth $1 and don't want to part with that $20 because they really want you for that. i also don't know the whole story. men are pigs. the next time a man is rude to you, shove an apple in his mouth and light a fire under his ass. try acting like you don't care at all about being on stage. ignore them. they can't stand that. they like to think they control you and must have all of your attention, but again, i don't know all the story. i hope they get over it.

  17. #17
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    ^^^ We're not immune to it either, hon. I can't tell you how many times I've gone up onstage and heard something like, "Oh, ANOTHER blonde."

    Happens to all of us at some point.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Quote Originally Posted by pipermarau
    if they are not tipping you on stage, but are tipping the other girls, yet you are getting good money on dances, perhaps they thought you worthy of more than $1. .

    While I did not do badly on Monday, I did not do NEARLY as good as the other girls on the floor. I am not going to complain about that b/c I did not sit and talk to the custies, I just wannadanced all night and still did decent. (Although the other girls wannadanced all night as well) The people at the tiprail were also getting dances. If you do not tip me after several times onstage, I will not bother asking for a dance. I don't think they were saving their money for me at all. We also only had 7-8 entertainers that night, so saving a buck would hardly be worth it. Its good to know that everyone gets this sometimes, and it sucks.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Quote Originally Posted by pipermarau
    men are pigs. the next time a man is rude to you, shove an apple in his mouth and light a fire under his ass. try acting like you don't care at all about being on stage. ignore them. they can't stand that. they like to think they control you and must have all of your attention, but again, i don't know all the story. i hope they get over it.
    God, I love you Piper!!!

    Refocus on your broader audience of dudes buying dances or the rail fuckers will KILL your mojo. That's what I do when guys want to get shady. I treat guys buying dances like they are the king and tiprail guys get greedy for the same attention. Ignore 'em on stage and some will run after you with tips. Hang in there chickie!!!

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist
    God, I love you Piper!!!

    Refocus on your broader audience of dudes buying dances or the rail fuckers will KILL your mojo. That's what I do when guys want to get shady. I treat guys buying dances like they are the king and tiprail guys get greedy for the same attention. Ignore 'em on stage and some will run after you with tips. Hang in there chickie!!!

    Thanks!!! Thats why I hate to have keep clothes on, because it kills it for the guys watching. I hate to give horrible non tippers a free show too though. I WILL NOT let them ever kill my mojo again. Stupid, racist, fucks. I should feel sorry for them, for being so closed minded and stupid.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Newbie LauraXLQ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!
    You chose an interesting nickname which tends to suggest that you could stand to be a little more confident. If you think you're hot then you're hot. Period. It shouldn't be hot for a black chick or latina chick or asian chick. Maybe your customers can sense a lack of confidence in you and that may be the reason they are not so warm to you.

    Just my 2 cents.

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    Member MsTatum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    I 've been through this a lot in many cities. But the funny part is I get off the stage and walk out with usually the most money.I once followed behind a big fat white girl and she got tip more than me because everyone sitting around the stage got up when it was my turn.It hurt but I just put on my best game face and kept going.I know it wasnt me because they treated another girl of color the same way.I do the same thing I don't get naked on stage for free.But in order for me to digest this racist bullshit I just keep saying some men are more ignorant than others and some just have there preferences.I just never let them know it bothers me I just give them that I'm happy because I made money anyway look.
    I've had black and latino customers come in and tip me and say that don't let these racist fucks get to you.So I know it was that obvious.
    The BOURBON STREET BABY

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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Quote Originally Posted by LauraXLQ
    You chose an interesting nickname which tends to suggest that you could stand to be a little more confident. If you think you're hot then you're hot. Period. It shouldn't be hot for a black chick or latina chick or asian chick. Maybe your customers can sense a lack of confidence in you and that may be the reason they are not so warm to you.

    Just my 2 cents.
    I thought the same thing too, but I read some of her posts, before jumping to any conclusions. There is a story behind why she chose that, and babygirl doesn't lack confidence at all
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Also, I've watched punky girls I work with at an upscale club. They don't play that look for free shit! They will ignore, dismiss, and abuse the guys. I know I feel better when I use the time to relax and scope the room for leads while I'm on stage. I'll give a guy across the room the eye, I'll dance for myself. A friend told me money is jealous--they see you makin money and connections and they feel left out. I'm glad they feel left out because guys who are black-hearted, bringing bad vibes should be left out.

  25. #25
    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Carmen's first rant.....

    Quote Originally Posted by LauraXLQ
    You chose an interesting nickname which tends to suggest that you could stand to be a little more confident. If you think you're hot then you're hot. Period. It shouldn't be hot for a black chick or latina chick or asian chick. Maybe your customers can sense a lack of confidence in you and that may be the reason they are not so warm to you.

    Just my 2 cents.

    I don't use this name at work of course!!!! I've just heard this form custys sooo many times in the three years I've been dancing. It used to piss me off A LOT. Now I laugh whenever I hear a customer say it. I laugh HYSTERICALLY. They don't understand why I am laughing. I say that as a joke, not because I believe it. I used to complain about it to the dj, and we turned in into this sort of joke. I will still ask a custy, "Is that a compliment," or "why can't I just be hot," or "do you say that to all the girls-you are a hot for a brunnette." Now that I feel I "own" the phrase, it no longer makes me mad, hence not spoiling my mood. I am really poking fun at people who say stupid shit like this. It does have a bit of a racist undertone to it, so I can understand why it made you go, "HUH???"
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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