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Thread: seeing a stripper outside the club

  1. #51
    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette
    A relationship tends to remain the way it was initially set up.
    Which is why you almost never hear of people getting divorced. Relationships and the people in them don't change, they remain static.


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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Crow
    Apply this - would you openly and actively pursue someone to date at your job?

    What makes this any different. Different setting, same principal.
    I have a simple policy for dating at work: QUIT FIRST. If you want the person that bad, then you won't mind quitting, and if you aren't willing to quit, then you should realize you don't want them. I should add, however, that one time I quit a job by telling the HR chick that I was fucking someone from the company and didn't like to mix business with pleasure, and my stock shot up quickly. It was a lie, I just wanted out, but they all thought I was some type of stud and rewrote the term "golden parachute."

    People pursue women at work all the time (I don't), and many women take jobs where they know they are what Mystery calls "hired guns," or women hired for looks. I view women who exploit their looks in regular jobs to be worse than strippers since they are harming qualified workers who shouldn't have to compete with that, and I don't want anyone that unethical as my wife or raising any kids I might have, but that's just me.

    I know there are many stupid men out there who will never change, and I like to observe the industry now as a barometer of collective male stupidity, since giving women money takes away the one thing that might have motivated them to fuck a guy they otherwise wouldn't.

  3. #53
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    People who date their co-workers are foolish, to shit where you eat so to speak is unprofessional and just bad business. It affects everyone you work with and frankly in the eyes of a dancer's co-workers makes the stripper who does simply put a whore.

    Forgive me if my language and to the point terminology offends, but in my experience - which by the way is well rounded, it doesn't and usually wont work.

  4. #54
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Crow
    People who date their co-workers are foolish, to shit where you eat so to speak is unprofessional and just bad business. It affects everyone you work with and frankly in the eyes of a dancer's co-workers makes the stripper who does simply put a whore.

    Forgive me if my language and to the point terminology offends, but in my experience - which by the way is well rounded, it doesn't and usually wont work.
    Ever wonder why an office job that only requires a high-school diploma pays $45k a year and requires overtime and travel?

    Single moms get trapped in these jobs all the time. I know one who had to kiss her boss on the lips every morning. She had a kid and would have been blacklisted. Then again, at least she had the paycheck, as other women would have gladly traded places with her. Hell, I might even have if I thought I was his type.

    It's not such a simple choice as life doesn't run on Monopoly Money.

  5. #55
    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Never fall in love with a Stripper

    Part 1-The Encounter

    Never fall in love with a stripper son, she's sure to break your
    heart.
    You'll end up in a coiled web and soon be torn apart.
    Her beauty is amazing, her soul it shines intense, her body is a work
    of art from which there's no defense.

    She'll captivate you with desire; you'll lose your way it seems,
    Her pleasantries engulf your thoughts and permeate your dreams.
    Imagination running wild, each step she closer moves,
    Her eyes enchanting meet yours in fire; she closes on your grove.

    The sensuality extreme, the eros so sublime
    She welcomes you into her world, a fantasy in time.
    She'll placate all your questions, advise you in return,
    "You are the only one for her", your passion starts to burn.

    Enveloped by her glory, enchantedly demure,
    Anticipation takes control and spins a deadly lure.
    The club is closing quickly you realize your fate,
    You better make your move real quick; it's getting much too late.

    You've spent eight hundred dollars, perhaps a little more,
    You need two questions answered before you close the door.
    What is your real name my dear, and what pray tell your number?
    You wait for her polite reply while stifling your "hunger."

    "My real name is Vicki*, my number is right here,
    I'd love to see you real soon, from me there's none to fear"
    "I'll call you in a short time", I state in timid voice,
    "I'll take you out to dinner, and you can make the choice."



    Part 2

    Ouch

    Lunches, dinners, shopping, and times spent tenderly,
    You really feel you love this girl; she fills your heart with glee.
    You've never met a gem like this; you'll never so again,
    She's nice, she's warm, she's confident and soon you wonder when?

    When will her lips and yours first meet, when will the dream unfold?
    When will your bodies meet entwined suffice ecstatic goal?
    You need to know, you need to ask, the fever is unkempt,
    "Do I mean anything to her or should I now repent?"

    And so with courage, truth and hope you pose the query thus,
    Do I mean anything to you and what is all this fuss?
    "Do you mean anything to me? She whispers in you ear"?
    Of course you do you silly boy why else would I be here?

    "I now can pay my car loan, my boyfriend's Visa card,
    I never need go to a store, not even out my yard."
    "You're such a nice and humble guy; you've given me so much,
    And all I ever had to give was skin for you to touch.

    "I thought you knew this business, I thought you knew the game,
    There is nothing of real in this it all is very plain."
    "You mean the world to me kind man; it's ALL by my design,
    I thank you very much my dear, my little dollar sign!"

    Part 3

    Epilogue

    I still recall our moments, illusions manifold,
    and how I let my honest heart refuse to be so cold.
    I thought she really liked me, perhaps a hint of love,
    I used to think she's heaven sent, an angel from above.

    Reality is stark my friend, and sometimes hard to find.
    But one thing that I've learned from this, sweet strippers make us
    blind.
    So take my words to heart; Believe! And stop a sec to think,
    Is what you feel, the real thing, or brought on by 6 drinks.

    Have fun, enjoy, partake of life, be in control of you
    And never let a stripper in, because they are like glue.
    Never fall in love with a stripper son, she'll always break your heart
    You'll always be her ATM at whom she'll aim her dart!

  6. #56
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by CustomerFromHell
    Ever wonder why an office job that only requires a high-school diploma pays $45k a year and requires overtime and travel?

    Single moms get trapped in these jobs all the time. I know one who had to kiss her boss on the lips every morning. She had a kid and would have been blacklisted. Then again, at least she had the paycheck, as other women would have gladly traded places with her. Hell, I might even have if I thought I was his type.

    It's not such a simple choice as life doesn't run on Monopoly Money.

    I am not going to argue with you. What I have stated in my posts is fact from my point of view.

  7. #57
    Senior Member lola025's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by kikin
    Oh, my goodness! This is such a wonderful thread...Now I don't feel so bad for not tipping or not buying dances even as I sit there and gawk at the naked girls all night. Because I would hate for them to lose Respect for me, ya know.

    wth??!! Well speaking for myself, I enjoy the company of some customers and i can become really fond of some genuinly. If they spend money on me I have a lot of respect them and truly appreciate them, given that they're respectful and we have good communication. It's those kind of customers that keep me in this business like this guy I sat w/ last nite...great conversation, dances and just an overall great time. Sometimes I wonder about keeping in touch OTC and although maybe I would like to, it would not happen. It's just a rule of mine. period.

  8. #58
    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    I think this thread is no longer relevant for me as my "naked friend" has set the stage for setting aside most if not all of the relationship limits and control she had imposed previously. She has enjoyed our "friend dates" enormously. Now she wants to do something she admits is/will be a real date. Not just any "real date" either but she wants our first one to be the activity that two different women (at different times of course) have fallen further and deeply in love with me. I like to ask my long time ex's (I've never been maried to take "ex" into context.) what I did right after we have a couple years to heal. I have always been surprised what they said. All I think I did was have a good time at the zoo and be my naturally fascinated and curious self.

  9. #59
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    The only time I dated a customer: He came in, tipped me a few bucks onstage, I sat with him after, he pulled my hair and asked me if his eyes looked like he just got out of jail...I went home with him that night, fucked him, and I was with him for the next three years.
    There you go, Smith. If you see one you like and she crawls from dollar to dollar on stage, invite her over and pull her hair. In back, underneath, close to the roots, so no one else will notice. If she has that OMG look on her face, she'll answer booty calls for up to three years.


    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    Not one of my healthier relationships, I might add.
    Not to worry, the hottest ones never are.

  10. #60
    Veteran Member NoCoverLover's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    I hope we haven't confused Mr. Smith too much!

    Dating strippers is a lost cause, as most have said here.

    Dude, you are overanalizing things. Take some advice, go out to a regular bar and pick up some girls. You'll have a lot more fun, and you won't have to overcome the 'customer' problem!

  11. #61
    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Thanks for the advice. I wish I could feel comfortable in regular bars approaching women who look as good as the strippers I've pursued. For some reason all it takes is one to roll her eyes at me and my weekend is ruined. I'm neither tall, athletic-and-toned, nor with incredibly symetrical features.
    Last edited by Smith; 06-18-2006 at 02:15 PM.

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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith
    I think this thread is no longer relevant for me as my "naked friend" has set the stage for setting aside most if not all of the relationship limits and control she had imposed previously. She has enjoyed our "friend dates" enormously. Now she wants to do something she admits is/will be a real date. Not just any "real date" either but she wants our first one to be the activity that two different women (at different times of course) have fallen further and deeply in love with me. I like to ask my long time ex's (I've never been maried to take "ex" into context.) what I did right after we have a couple years to heal. I have always been surprised what they said. All I think I did was have a good time at the zoo and be my naturally fascinated and curious self.
    Don't you get it yet? It's all part of the game. LOL, it's called stringing along the PL as long as possible. My advise, cut your loses now with what little dignity you have left.

  13. #63
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith
    Thanks for the advice. I wish I could feel comfortable in regular bars approaching women who look as good as the strippers I've pursued. For some reason all it takes is one to roll her eyes at me and my weekend is ruined.
    Honey; this could tell you something. Again - I mean this in the nicest possible way - find your level. If you are not good looking (and I don't really know what you look like - you could look just fine, and just be being hard on yourself) what gives you the idea that you DESERVE to date really good looking women? I'm not saying you don't - I'm just saying it is not an entitlement. If the women you like don't like you, it's time to find women who do. Maybe you could try approaching women who are slightly less good looking (in your opinion) that the strippers you have (unsuccessfully) pursued? Maybe they will less likely to roll their eyes and reject you? Trust me - looks are completely irrelevant anyways. After 3 weeks you don't even really notice anymore - beauty or non-beauty is just another identifying characteristic. So you are really putting yourself through all this nonsense just so you can sit around for 2 weeks being facinated with some girl's looks. It seems really silly when you think about it.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  14. #64
    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith
    Thanks for the advice. I wish I could feel comfortable in regular bars approaching women who look as good as the strippers I've pursued. For some reason all it takes is one to roll her eyes at me and my weekend is ruined. I'm neither tall, athletic-and-toned, nor with incredibly symetrical features
    Work out those self-esteem issues and you might do a lot better.

    As far as the suggestion that 'looks are completely irrelevant' -- that's ridiculous. It's all relevant.

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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Has anyone had luck meeting OTS (outside of the salon)? This girl Jessica that cuts my hair is beyond amazing. She constantly (well, once every four weeks -- three in summer) compliments my thick head of hair ("you'll never go bald" being her fave refrain ), and -- I'm almost embarrassed to say -- occasionally grazes her breasts across my shoulder (I can tell by how she intensely studies the nape of my neck that she does this for no other customer.)

    I can sense by her kindness and interest that she would prefer to remove the financial component from our relationship, but she is probably hesitating to do so for fear of angering salon management. I consider myself an aggressive/proactive male, so I am thinking of conveniently "forgetting" my wallet next time and seeing how she reacts. However, advice from any others who have scored with a stylist would be much appreciated.

  16. #66
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Maybe if you didn't try so hard to come on to them. If some gal will let you innocently and playfully talk to her (jokes, some city event etc), even if she is not at the highest beauty level, and she wil engage you in conversation, it's an opening. Maybe some other gal whose looks you like better will think that since some gal will talk with you, that maybe you aren't a complete louse and maybe someone who can liven up things for her at the bar.
    If you enjoy your sanity, you will lose all thoughts of dating a stripper. That's for some graduate-level advance course in social survival. You aren't there yet. Besides who said that better at sex and loving than civilians?
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Featured Member kikin's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    That is a troll feigning bad grammar and diction.

  18. #68
    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Richard_Head
    Don't you get it yet? It's all part of the game. LOL, it's called stringing along the PL as long as possible. My advise, cut your loses now with what little dignity you have left.
    You must be right. After she started to talk about making plans and I posted the above, she stopping calling for two and a half days.

    She called today just to say "Hi". She was at her brothers house so said she could not talk more than a minute. When I made the mistake to ask her if she had checked her voicemails and what is going on since I had not heard from her, she acted exasperated saying I just told you I left my phone in a friends car so I HAVE NO PHONE (her emphasis). (very likely true btw)

    But the point is that she left me hanging and could have used her neighbors phone to call me (they feel sorry for her and will always let her) so therefore she is playing me right especially considering she did not even bring up, when she called today, the logistics of planning the date we were hoping to have this week?

    How *do* I save what little dignity I have left? I think I'll just tell her that if she is not interested in meaningful or sexual things on the day she calls to not waste my time as there are others (but less hot) who are interested so I'm going to spend my time with them instead. That keeps me as a good guy still?

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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Damn I wish I was a stripper I would love to get all HIS $$$$$$$$$. I would just be this sweet little girl that needs to help all the time, all I need is $$$$ so I can buy a car, condo,property in Fla, PR,NY,CALI, just give me all your money you dumb s---.Just go to the club get your dances go home, end of STORY!

  20. #70
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith
    How *do* I save what little dignity I have left? I think I'll just tell her that if she is not interested in meaningful or sexual things on the day she calls to not waste my time as there are others (but less hot) who are interested so I'm going to spend my time with them instead. That keeps me as a good guy still?
    Ok, "meaningful or sexual things"? Sounds like your really saying "If I'm not getting laid I must be failing"

    Look the dignity issue you need to scrap. It's lost. You're only way to start down the road to value is to show a willingness to walk away and just drop her.

    What jenny says is true but it requires a step before. You need to look in the mirror and say "This is what I want in life" Even if it changes... what do you want NOW? THEN you need to ask yourself "What do I expect a guy to be doing/look like/act like/carry himself/...etc etc etc that wants this kind of life" And start doing those things.

    You mention you're an ugly person. You could look like Brad Pitt, no Brad Pitt Fan hottie wants to sit there and tell you how you shouldn't be so down on yourself. If you think you're ugly, then you project that. NO ONE WANTS TO CHANGE YOUR THINKING, YOU HAVE TO WANT THAT. AND IT STARTS WITH HOW YOU TREAT YOURSELF. Believe it or not, looks just get you in the door, sir.

    Once you figure out what you want start working on yourself. If it's to date hot women, then fine. For me it was to be more active. So I started going to the gym started getting out, started meeting people, started traveling, working harder, joined a volleyball team, got a bike, and you know what? As a bi-product of that process the women came. (No pun intendid). But no A-Quality female wants to be the best thing that happened to you. They just want to be with you/help you while you're achieving that. And vice versa of course.

    Be in control. And move on. And stay out of the strip clubs.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  21. #71
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    But no A-Quality female wants to be the best thing that happened to you.
    I love that quote, it's so true. Good advice Mast, well except for the part about staying out of strip clubs, go ahead and keep going if you enjoy it, just don't be going expecting/hoping to find a girlfriend. Cut off all the money right now Smith, even for Subway, that should take care of the problem in no time.

  22. #72
    Senior Member itsthatguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Dude, you might be a troll, but you should totally rent "The Tao of Steve". It might not help you do anything but feel better.

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Thanks Richard_Head! I'll cut off the cash. I think she would manipulate me out of anything less cut and dry. Thanks all for your help. I guess this resolves it.

    I've let all the other slights slide but I can't have you all thinking I'm ugly and not confident:
    But no A-Quality female wants to be the best thing that happened to you.
    You mention you're an ugly person.
    My image/wardrobe/etc. are carefully chosen by an image consultant who is seen often on TV and in newspapers so yes I'm confident that I look just fine. My weight is getting to be pretty good as I've lost 45 lbs since December. I don't need to change my thinking (except for the stripper problems). I'm plenty confident, and women recognize it at work. Just none of those women for the rest of our lives would make my heart skip a beat every time they wear a short black dress. Life it too short to deny myself such things if they are possible, but I guess I'll just have to find someone who is not a stripper.

    Since people think I'm a troll, I guess this will be my last post in this thread. PM sometime if you want to talk about this or hear what ended up happening with her in the end (if you are reading this thread months later).

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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith
    Thanks Richard_Head! I'll cut off the cash. I think she would manipulate me out of anything less cut and dry. Thanks all for your help. I guess this resolves it.
    Why do I highly doubt that this is resolved? Come on, be a sport, keep us updated. I hope that you're not taking things here personally, everyone (well almost everyone) is just trying to help you out.

  25. #75
    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: seeing a stripper outside the club

    Only since you are asking...
    She called last night. She did schedule two hours where for the first time we'd work out and then swim on Wednesday (yeah!).

    But then she mentioned some things so casually that were absolutely deal breakers expecting that I'd put up with it.
    • She denied that our first real date (to the zoo and on hold due to "weather") is "like a real date" when I suggested bringing her kid along is inappropriate since it is "like a real date". All I said in reply was I guess it is ok to bring your kid then.
    • When I asked how bartending is going, she said she guesses there is no bartending job since the owner "did not return her calls and she only has his cell phone" after her afternoon of training. I did not confront her on why she had not just gone in on the days she supposedly was already scheduled to work or found another bartending job (since it did not even take her a day to supposedly get that one).
    • She guesses she will have to go back to full-time dancing since she is so poor she had to ask her father to give her gas money so she could visit on fathers day. One time I told her I'd call her a bitch, ask her if she enjoyed messing with my head for cash, and hang up on her if she ever said that "casually". All I said was "Oh well at least you got to take a break". A whole month living on my charity with me expecting nothing in return because I was dumb enough to unexpectedly offer to support her until one of the million other bartending jobs worked out after she threw an absolute fit at the strip club upon finding out her bartending job there fell though.


    When I suggested we put the ymca membership (that I was going to buy her) in her name so I would not be in the position when she was not talking to me in three months to have to cancel it, she said "What the Hell?!" and hung up on me. I did not even get to the point that she really should pay for it too since it was only $40/month. My will was weakening I started thinking about maybe she could dance for me before the gym for the cash so good thing she hung up! Guess we aren't going swimming Wednesday.

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