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Thread: i guess im "damaged" too.

  1. #1
    Miss. Kristina Lee
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    Default i guess im "damaged" too.

    i was walking my dog a little but ago down our street. i noticed a large pickup driving behind me and then slowed up. then it was driving slowly beside me. i look over at the guy and give him this huge glare as he looks over at me and smiles and waves. i get ready to cuss him out and call him a pervert, but as i look up i see he is waving to his wife and child who are sitting on the porch, as he pulls into the drive. he was just waiting for me to walk by his driveway so he could pull in.

    i felt like such a mean jackass.

    i constantly feel like guys are leering at me otc, and as a result i think it makes me a mean abbrasive person all the time when im out. i wish i could be a nicer person. i dont enjoy being an asshole to everyone i encounter.

    anyone else go through the same thing?

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    Veteran Member danijamesxxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Hmm yes, I can identify. I've always been that way since I was a kid... leery of why people are paying attention to me, I assume it is in a negative way and so I act like a big bitch about 80% of the time to strangers. Well, strange men. It is distressing, I'm not quite sure how to get "Over it" though
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    Miss. Kristina Lee
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    same here. im scared that ill never get over it and be a bitch the rest of my life.

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    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    i have a bad habit of looking behind me or over my shoulder atleast once or twice a minute. im always looking around me. sometimes my customers are like "what are u looking for?" its kinda embarassing sometimes! and yes, every time i catch a glance from an older man when im at the store or something, in my head im like "what a pervert" lol. alot of girls feel like u do i think.

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    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    I really only feel that way when I am out with my kids. Even 3 kids don't seem to deter them! LOL

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    Veteran Member danijamesxxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Maybe it is just because we've seen the so called "bad side" of men so much....I mean, when you think "Good guy," you don't automatically think one of the custies..hah...I know nice guys go to the clubs too but I swear most of the ones I've encountered are pervs! So I can't help but think that about men. It's something you just can't shake if you've had a bad experiencewith guys too...once bitten twice shy...for the girls on here, including me who have been either sexually assaulted or molested as kids.
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    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    So you might have been wrong about the guy slowing down staring at you, but I would have done the same thing.
    I learned early to be wary. When I was about 9, a man tried to abduct me this way when i was playing on the sidwalk in my neighborhood.

    It's sad that it's come to this, but I'd rather be paranoid than let my guard down. Trust is earned.

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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Last night at work I asked, "who is that creepy guy who keeps looking at the girl on stage and then going into the bathroom?" One of the other girls said, "is he a black guy?" I said yes, and she goes, "Oh, that's our bathroom attendant." I felt so stupid and ditzy, it's pretty unlike me to jump to conclusions about someone like that, but when I'm in the club I'm super suspicious of guys who seem like creeps! I thought he was going in there to touch himself or something, haha. I work days, so I hadn't met our night time bathroom guy yet.

    I'm suspicious of almost every guy inside the club, because I know they see me as "some stripper" but outside the club, I assume people are talking to me just cause I'm cute/interesting, which is ok, so I'm nicer.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member miss cleo's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Hey, i feel exactly the same way, every time i leave my house i wear sunglasses and my ipod so i can try to ignore everyone but im so aware of stares from guys and dirty looks from women, and i too have misjudged the situation like you. I think its definatly from the job, we re so used to being stared at that we expect it.

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    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Quote Originally Posted by miss cleo
    I think its definatly from the job, we re so used to being stared at that we expect it.
    I definitely feel more defensive when I'm out and about running errands. If a guys eyes linger on me a little to long, I automatically start scowling. I also get weird when someone stands to close to me. Sometimes I'm affraid I'm turning agoraphobic.

  11. #11
    Miss. Kristina Lee
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    its soo odd. most of the time i have fun at work and enjoy my job. i rarly run into mean or perverted customers. i dont understand why im so mean outside of work when im happy at work?

    gosh i think we all need shrinks...

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    ^^ Maybe it's not stripping.... one of my ex's was that way, she wasn't a stripper, but no guy could look at her or compliment her without her getting angry and thinking he was a pervert. Yet the reality was, she was hot, and any normal guy with a libido is gonna look at a hot girl.

    What really annoyed me about it though, is when she would really dress sexy and still get mad that guys would look at her... she had this one tiny, clingy lycra dress that wouldn't have been out of place as a dancer's costume, and she'd still go ballistic when she wore it and attracted the inevitable attention..
    Last edited by dlabtot; 06-15-2006 at 12:48 PM.

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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Haha I am so like this. I don't think it's paranoia because most of the time they are pervy assholes. And I'm not a dancer yet.

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    Veteran Member oulala's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    I'm not a dancer, but for those who have been sexually assaulted, maybe that has something to do with it... because my mother was sexually assaulted for a long time when she was a child and is constantly suspicious of men, especially when she's out with me. She'll comment on the nasty guy that won't stop looking at me, or be very suspicious of even a guy friend making conversation, etc.

    I figure when people are out in public, they look at other people, and that's natural - sometimes your eyes linger a little bit longer. Doesn't mean they're going over what they'd like to do to you or are undressing you with their eyes. That's just my opinion anyway. But like I said, I'm not a dancer, so I could just be blissfully unaware...

  15. #15
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss. Kristina Lee
    i was walking my dog a little but ago down our street. i noticed a large pickup driving behind me and then slowed up. then it was driving slowly beside me. i look over at the guy and give him this huge glare as he looks over at me and smiles and waves. i get ready to cuss him out and call him a pervert, but as i look up i see he is waving to his wife and child who are sitting on the porch, as he pulls into the drive. he was just waiting for me to walk by his driveway so he could pull in.

    i felt like such a mean jackass.

    i constantly feel like guys are leering at me otc, and as a result i think it makes me a mean abbrasive person all the time when im out. i wish i could be a nicer person. i dont enjoy being an asshole to everyone i encounter.

    anyone else go through the same thing?
    I don't think you should feel that bad. In my opinion 90% of the time guys ARE leering at you (us).

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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot
    What really annoyed me about it though, is when she would really dress sexy and still get mad that guys would look at her... she had this one tiny, clingy lycra dress that wouldn't have been out of place as a dancer's costume, and she'd still go ballistic when she wore it and attracted the inevitable attention..
    Yeah, I gotta say...presentation is key. When I didn't want attention, I'd dress like a bag lady and nobody would bother me. When I wanted attention, I'd dress accordingly. Easier for me, maybe, because I am neither beautiful nor particularly vain. I have no problem going out looking like absolute shit, but I think a lot of women just can't bring themselves to do it. Also, if you're just naturally drop-dead gorgeous, you'll probably get attention no matter what you do.
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    I haven't worked in almost a month and this doesn't bother me nearly as bad as it did when I was working a lot. I am going back tonight though and after a couple of days I will hate it if a guy even looks in my direction. I know quite a few other girls I work with that feel the same way.

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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    I'm like this too, but I don't think it's from stripping. Most of the customers at my club are polite and I don't think of them as perverts or whatever. What has made me so bitter is that I do have to deal with constant unwanted male attention and harassment outside of the club, and that I don't even get paid for it. When I'm at work it doesn't bother me, because it's appropriate there, but on my off time I want to be able to walk down the street and not be bothered. It's pretty much impossible though. I've been angry about it since way before I started dancing.

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    Senior Member Pinup Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    I've always been wary of guys leering at me. Shit, it happened when I was 12 years old! That's just the way people behave in this society, but believe me, it's way worse in other countries. When I vacationed in Italy when I was 12 men would follow me for blocks! Imagine if someone did that to a little girl in America! Also, men would approach me and touch my hair. Italians love blonde hair. I am wary when I walk downtown, because usually there are five to ten crackheads or pervs saying shit to me/leering at me/whatever. Sometimes I even pretend to talk on my cell just to ignore everyone!

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Quote Originally Posted by holiday
    I don't think you should feel that bad. In my opinion 90% of the time guys ARE leering at you (us).
    Oh, they are leering, most of them.. nah, how about all.. he he
    I usually stare off into space when I am out so I never notice anyone (on purpose)..
    My friend and I ride the bus a lot and will purposley ignore the people around us. One time a guy came and (rudely, I thought) stood very close to us. WE continued our conversation and ignored him completely without even looking up from our bench..
    He finally says, "um did I do something wrong?" I look up and it's one of my girl friend's brother.. heh.. Oops! We explained that we try to ignore anyone and everyone when we are out, never make eye contact and we can usually avoid the "hey baby" guys..
    poor guy thought I was mad at him or something, or a b*tch..
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Veteran Member SexeJaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    But then again.., it's kind of good to be aware of your surrondings though.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    That's not dancing... I was ALWAYS like that... Girls always get that kinda shit... I dress pretty frumpy 'cuz of it... THen I don't get ANY attention... ever.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  23. #23
    buffie06
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    I dont think that has much to do with being a stripper, that has to do more with just being an attractive girl, you should always be on your guard.

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    Quote Originally Posted by SexeJaz
    But then again.., it's kind of good to be aware of your surrondings though.
    Oh, we saw him, but when standing at the bus stop it is never a good idea to pay attention to anything male.. I have even had guys cross the street to tell me their friend likes me, even if I flash my engagement ring it doens't stop. So, no eye contact.. When walking, dark glasses, and keep to busy walk ways and watch for anyone that might have followed, and yes, they do follow..
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i guess im "damaged" too.

    oh i know what you mean. the other day in traffic this guy in the car next to mine at a red light was waving.. i could see him out of the corner of my eye. i heard him yelling "hey!! hey!!" (my windows were down) and i'm thinking "jesus fucking christ, i'm OBVIOUSLY ignoring you, stop hitting on me" ........ then i finally look over and he asks me if the street he needs to turn on is next.

    i felt like such a tool.

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