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Thread: Bar converstation

  1. #1
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Bar conversation

    This transpired tonight -

    Me (Your Intrepid Hero): "You guys need anything else to drink right now"
    Customer: "No, we are okay. Hey, let me ask you something. You know that titty bar down the road?"
    Me: "Yeah, I know it".
    Customer: "Is it a good place to go?"
    Me: "I dont know. Ive never been there. I know a lot of the customers here go there from time to time"
    Customer: "Oh okay".
    About 30 seconds go by
    Customer: "Hey, if we go after here, do you think we will spend a lot of money there?"
    Me: "I dont know. Ive never been there"
    Customer: "Oh. (pause). What kind of girls do they have there?"
    Me: "I dont know. Ive never been there".
    Customer: "Oh. Do you think the kind of girls there would be worth spending the money?"
    Me: "Dude, I.. Have.. Never..Been.. There".
    Customer: "Oh. (pause again) How much money do you think I would spend?"
    Me: "I dont know, because, ahh, I have never been there".
    (about a minute later)
    Customer: "If we go, do you think we would have to spent a lot there"
    Me: "You know, yes, you would. You wont be able to go there and spend less then 600 dollars".
    Customer: "Six hundred dollars? We only have about 80 between us. Fuck that".
    Me: "Then I suggest you hit the ATM before you go".
    Customer: "I'm not spending no freaking 600 dollars. What is it, a high class joint?"
    Me: "Very high class. Expensive too". (side note, its a freaking hole in the wall).
    Customer: "Dude thats way too much money to spend on strippers. Id rather sit here and spend the rest on beer".
    Me: "Oh, lucky me".
    Customer: "Dont you ever go there after work?"
    Me: "No, I usually have to get home to feed my pirhanas. They tend to eat each other unless I drop a rat into the tank late night".
    Customer: "You have pirhanas? arent they illegal?"
    Me: "I have a special exotic flesh eating fish permit"
    Customer: "Bummer, that means you cant go to strip clubs after work"
    Me: "Its a heavy burden I bear".


    End note: He and his moron friend left a total of 2.50 on what amounted to 58.00 worth of drinks.

    I'm glad I was cut early tonight.

  2. #2
    Cally
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    Default Re: Bar converstation


  3. #3
    Cally
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    Its shit like that that doesnt make me miss bartending or waitressing lmao.. though it is funny shit

  4. #4
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    wow, and to think they were almost sic'd on us!!!! At least you averted the shoe in crotch for at least one of those guys.. he he
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  5. #5
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    LMAO!!! That's great. I love stupid drunk people.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  6. #6
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    LOL!!!

    It seems like the guy WANTED you to talk him out of going there. LOL weirdos.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  7. #7
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    God...I remember those days. What a bunch of morons. And, to think that they probably left MORE than what they normally would cuz you saved them some money. LOL

    I love your bar stories.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Anney Dancer 2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    brilliant.. love that story!



    "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde."
    Dolly Parton.

    "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
    Aristotle Onassis

    "She looked as if she'd been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say when."
    PG Woodhouse.

    "When women go wrong, men go right after them."
    Mae West.

  9. #9
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    Terrific story. What morons, huh? Say, do your fish have names?

  10. #10
    Veteran Member NoCoverLover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    Hey PJ, how much longer would they have to sit there before you fed them to your Pirhanas??
    Last edited by NoCoverLover; 06-16-2006 at 08:58 AM. Reason: I can't spell Pirhanas

  11. #11
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    Lol!!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  12. #12
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bar converstation

    I would name your fish Jaws and Fluffy. Fluffy sometimes resents having the girly name, as well as the fact that he is not cuddly pettable like a puppy. Jaws feels alone in a universe devoid of any physical affection and compansionship. His favourite book is The Plague.

    It's sometimes nice to remember that we have not, in fact, copyrighted and patented all the stupid customers and you get yours too.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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