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Thread: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

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    Default Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    Does anyone when they're OTC sometimes almost introduce yourself as your stripper name instead of your real name? I've caught myself doing that many times. Maybe it's because I introduce myself more with my stage name than I do my real name. Also, when I get hit on or get those looks from guys when I'm out like at the store or mailbox or whatever, I sometimes forget that I'm not in the club, does this happen to any of you? And that I get hit on so many times in the club that when I'm not in the club, I really don't even want to deal with the guy(s), even if he's cute, sometimes I feel like wanting to charge for my time. Am I going crazy? Am I getting my stripper self and real self confused? Does this happen to a lot of strippers? It's weird, it's like I'm 2 different people, almost like a split personality but not, know what I mean? Almost like one is taking over the other. I've heard certain movie stars when they play intense roles sometimes have a hard time "snapping out of it". Like Dustan Hoffman when he played Rain Man, he was so focused on playing that autistic guy that he had a hard time coming out of it. Does this happen to other strippers or am I just going crazy?

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    hmmmm i don't think your crazy you might need some time away from the club though this could become burnout. I will start running my hustle on men that flirt with me all the time they will be talking i am thinking about how easy they would be to get dances from in the club.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    I do that sometimes too. Especially when I am travelling for work. I have often almost answered with my stage name. I've also noticed that when guys honk their horn at me and whistle that it kind of bothers me now instead of taking it as a compliment. I do find that this comes and goes though. Maybe take short break from work...or laugh at yourself a bit...lol

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    I think that happens to alot of us. We get so cuaght up in playing our own "role" that at the end of the shift, we just don't switch back to ourselves. And I have never minded when I get the honks, stares and whistles from the guys while I am out and about in regular street wear...it's an ego stroke. For me I know I am getting "burn out" when I don't want to go to work! I hate burn out!

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    Sometimes I have to pause and think before telling someone the "correct" name. But, I DO have problems being myself instead of my stripper self... Does that make sense? Like, I'll catch myself and go, "no no! That's what BELLA would say!"
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    It happens to me but like the other way around sometimes. Like I'll be at work and a guy will check me out and for a second I'll forget that I'm at work and want to instinctively give him a dirty look. And I do answer to my stage name away from work.But that's cause I really like it. I mean its kind of cool to be able to name yourself if you grew up disliking the one your parents gave you. Unfortunately the "me" at the club and the "me" at home are nearly identical.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    The me at work and the me at home are completely different. I don't think it's burn out because I've only been dancing for about 6 weeks. It's probably because this is all so new for me. I'm almost 30 and have been doing my real job since college and started dancing to get out of debt sooner. I think it's just because it's so new and I"m not quite used to it but it's good to hear that it's not just me though.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    Quote Originally Posted by leogirl876
    Does anyone when they're OTC sometimes almost introduce yourself as your stripper name instead of your real name? I've caught myself doing that many times.... And that I get hit on so many times in the club that when I'm not in the club, I really don't even want to deal with the guy(s), even if he's cute, sometimes I feel like wanting to charge for my time... It's weird, it's like I'm 2 different people, almost like a split personality but not, know what I mean? Almost like one is taking over the other.
    I know several dancers OTC as friends, and I've noticed that even outside of work, they tend to call each other by their stage names in preference to their real names. This is both when they're talking about each other and when they're actually in conversation with each other. I talked to one dancer about it recently, and she said it made it easier to avoid slipping up by calling a girl by her real name when she was at work.

    (I should also explain that the dancers concerned are fully aware that I know [and use] their real names - calling each other by their stage names is by choice, and not to stop me knowing their real names).

    One dancer in particular behaves very differently at work to when she's not working. At work she's very "brassy", swears a lot; behaves like "one of the boys" when she's with a group of customers. Outside of work she's a rather shy, very sweet and distinctly feminine girl.

    When I give her a lift home it might take 15 minutes before she fully relaxes and goes back to being her real self - I guess it takes that long for the tension to leave her. I can gauge this by the amount she swears; directly we pull out of the car park it's "that fu*king customer"; then the frequency of swearing falls away as she relaxes and wants to talk about something other than work.

    Also, when I'm with her I can tell instantly whom she's talking to on her mobile - if it's someone concerned with stripping, (customer or dancer), she's instantly into dancer persona. If it's someone not concerned with dancing, then the response is the shy, feminine one. This can be both when I'm giving her a lift home from work, and when I've met her when she's not working.

    I'd say the dancers I know have become more cynical about men - your work environment is an unsual one. The more sensible dancers understand it's happening and learn to compensate for it. A few dancers let themselves be corroded by it and have increasing trouble dealing with men in their private lives.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    Well, I don't really have the same problem as my dancer name that I prefer to use (Vanessa) is my real name so... it's more in the case of the persona more than my name. At work I am an extrovert (as the job requires one to be such), very flirtatious and so forth ... and whilst this isn't necessarily NOT me.. it's an exageration of aspects of my personality/persona... so when I am out of work those aspects are far less exagerated.

    For instance, I'm one of those who love to be a home-body and do things that don't require alcohol and drunks basically... movies, dvd nights, what-have-you.. anything that won't require me to be around drunks esp. drunk men hitting on me (argh!). Basically, I'm an introvert and require alot of "alone" (aka "me") time so I can be my stripper self (vivacious, bubbly, friendly, sociable, etc).

    As for work and home getting muddled up.. maybe it's because I've found a nice way of dealing with the separation by NOT getting involved in the nightclub scene that helps me stay me when I'm not working... I dunno.

    Regardless, you are not alone in your situation.


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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    ^^^ Danger, Will Robinson !

    IMHO the blurring of one's dancer persona into one's normal personality / personal life is a dangerous precedent ... because in many cases it eventually results in 'permanent change' to that normal personality / personal life.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    if you're crazy than i am too! i often have to stop and think when i introduce my self to people outside work. i meet so many more people at work each night than i ever meet outside that my fake name has started to seem more real than the real one, heh

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    Veteran Member Jillian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    I've noticed it a lot, and mainly recently too. I'm afraid that like Melonie says it may be dangerous. I normally don't go out to the clubs, but now that I don't have school I feel like I have a lot of time so I;ve been going out with other people. I hustle the sh*t out of guys at the bar and get whatever I want most of the time, I use my stage name most of the time when I'm out, I've always been shy, so part of me thinks its good that I'm coming out of my shell, but I think I may have gone too far. My mom had her friends over for lunch last week, and Jillian was there too. I also don't have anyone who knows me reeal well anymore, I think a break may be good.


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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie
    ^^^ Danger, Will Robinson !

    IMHO the blurring of one's dancer persona into one's normal personality / personal life is a dangerous precedent ... because in many cases it eventually results in 'permanent change' to that normal personality / personal life.
    My real name is my stage name and I'm fine. So's Vanessa.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    No way are you crazy. I do that all the time hun. If you are crazy, than we're all crazy together. Quit working so much...tnat's what usually provokes me to introduce my stripper self instead of vice versa.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    One thing that really helps me get out of my stripper self is to take off my make-up at work when I'm leaving and put on my regular crappy clothes (sweats and t-shirt). No more sexy stripper for the night -- when I'm in commute to or from the club I'm totally out of stripper mode. It's when I get to the dressing room that the mental shift occurs. I know a lot of girls leave while still in full make-up... that might be an element?

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    What I'm talking about is well, I work Friday and Saturday nights. Monday morning is when I'm back to my regular job, I'm in the healthcare field and take care of patients. Recently on a Monday morning when I was introducing myself to one of my patients I almost told my patient my stage name instead of my real name. Then on Saturday I was at the grocery store getting some groceries before going into work (the club) and there was this guy in there hitting on me. First of all it was rather annoying because it happens all night when I'm at the club and it felt weird in a way being hit on outside the club, especially in the grocery store because that never happens. I was a little paranoid that maybe he saw me in the club but I had no makeup on & was in shorts & a tank top. He was talking to me for a minute, kinda trying to ask me out, blah, blah, and he introduced himself and when I told him my name for a slight second I had to think about it because I almost told him my stage name instead of my real name. Then I got to thinking, if I meet a stranger out in public that I have no interest in going out with or whatever, would it be better to introduce myself as my stage name just in case he or anyone else recognizes me from the club and that's why they're talking to me. Does this happen to any of you? Do you get paranoid thinking that maybe they're hitting on you because they remember seeing you at the club?

    I mean, it's not a case of I don't know the difference between the two. The person at the club is way more outgoing, isn't shy, is an airhead, etc. The person outside the club is outgoing but not like that, is a little shy, is smart and a little more serious. Inside the club I don't feel uncomfortable people seeing me naked but outside the club I do feel uncomfortable if people see me naked.

    I think part of it could just be that I don't meet a lot of new people outside the club so I don't say my real name a lot but inside the club I'm meeting new people about every 5 minutes or so and I'm saying my stage name a lot & maybe since I say my stage name much more, maybe it's just that I have to kinda "reprogram" my brain as far as when I introduce myself? I don't know,it definitely is different and is going to take some getting used to.

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    Miss. Kristina Lee
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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    i wish i could be more like my stripper self in real life. strong, brazen, outgoing and not shy at all. when im not at work i can barly go out in public and be friendly, and i hate going to clubs with a passion.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    Leogirl,

    It appears that getting your entertainer-self and real-self confused OTC is causing distress in your normal life. How many weeks have you felt this way? When did you first begin to notice the confusion? Were there any unusual stressful circumstances ITC or OTC club when this confusion first started? Are there currently any unusual stressful circumstances ITC or OTC?

    One solution would be to stop performing. I realize this is not a feasible option because entertaining is currently a source of income for your food, shelter, and clothing. Therefore, I will try to shed some insight to help you better understand your feelings.

    First, relax because you are not “going crazy”. It is normal for a person working at any job to have circumstances from their job interfere with their personal lives. For example, many business professionals such as investors and researchers have issues in their normal lives because they are stressed from work. These professionals cannot “turn-off” after work because their brains are in overdrive thinking about how to close that next big deal, or how to research a new idea.

    Here is insight that may apply to you and the other girls who are having confusion with the entertainer-self and real-self OTC:

    Obviously, you are performing because you are in a stressful financial situation. You feel that you need the money from performing. Unpredictable circumstances are stressful. Often times the income from performing is unpredictable. Therefore, there is a constant source of stress about how much money you will make performing and whether this will be adequate support.

    Decreasing the number of hours, you work at the club, to try to resolve the confusion you are having OTC will only work if you do not currently need the income that those hours are generating. If the income from those hours are necessary, then decreasing hours will increase your overall level of stress. You will have less identity confusion OTC, but you will encounter new stress from how to make ends meet.

    The ideal solution is to gain consistent financial security so that you spend the minimum number of hours performing to supplement your income. This will (1) reduce your entertainer-self and real-self confusion OTC because you will not be exposed to the entertainer-self as much, and (2) reduce your overall level of stress because of less identity confusion and greater financial predictability and stability.

    Leogirl – before I can offer more insight, I need to know whether you are a ‘career-oriented’ performer or a ‘goal-oriented’ performer. Career-oriented means that you intend to perform for the long-term and you see performing as a primary source of income. Goal-oriented means that you see performing as a short-term source of income to get you where you want to be such as through school or a better job.

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    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    ^^^WTF? Oooo kay....


    I had no makeup on & was in shorts & a tank top.
    Isn't it weird how guys will hit on a woman in this attire. But, when she's dressed to kill they won't say a peep! Funny...
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    I do this all the time. Often when im out ill introduce myself by my stage name just because its second nature. Also alot of my friends who i work with now call me by my stage name OTC just because its easier that way. I dont mind girls using my stage name all the time because its lessens the risk of them using my real name by accident while in work.
    I also find myself making HEAVY eye contact with random guys when im out just because im so used to doing it all the time. Im also always doing little things like giving a guy a cheeky wink or stroking his hand a little when i shake it just because these things sre now soo second nature.

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    Dear psymjr,
    I would say that I"m more of a goal oriented entertainer. I don't plan on doing this the rest of my "youthful looking" life. I'm nearly 30 and under certain circumstances that have happened over the past few years have wound up in some credit card debt and no much left in savings. I have a real job I went to college for and make decent money there, roughing $45-50k, but after good old Uncle Sam comes in, I have just enough money to live on after bills are paid and not much after to pay down credit cards and for savings.

    Another issue is I'm very unhappy with my real job and really want to return to school to do something else. Before I do that, I want to get my credit card paid off and save up some money. So I see myself dancing for maybe a maximum of 2-3 yrs (if I can last that long). What concerns me is I've only been dancing for almost 2 months and this is already happening. I am required at my club to work 3 days per week and that's all I work now. I always work Fri& Sat night and am really into it because those are my biggest money making nights and it seems that it takes until Tuesday before I am back to my world and then by then on Wednesday, I'm working at the club again!

    I'm not overly concerned like I'm going to have a meltdown or anything. I'm just afraid one time I'll slip and introduce myself to one of my patients as the wrong name. I haven't been able to come up with a good come back answer for that if that were to happen. I might say that's my middle name or something or a nickname, I don't know.

    I think what I will do is take one weekend off per month instead of working every single weekend because maybe between my real job, my dancing job and me running a small business, all three is overwhelming me too much. I do tend to be a workaholic sometimes and want to keep going & going and never take time for myself. I was telling my friend last night about it all and decided that one weekend off per month for me and my friends is what I'm going to do. The only problem that I feel about that is, that weekend I'm off I'm going to be saying to myself "dammit, if I were working right now, I could bring home $1000 this weekend". I think I also tend to think that during the week too that if I were at the club, I could maybe take home tonight $500-$600. So maybe I'm just thinking about it too much and need to relax and that my credit card will be paid off but I need to be patient.

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    Member *Alexis*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    I always take my make-up off in the club too, and i tie my hair back and get in my pj's as soon as I'm home and chill out.

    That 30mins when i get home is my quiet time and time for me to revert back to myself, I'll have a cup of tea and some bickies...then think what im gonna spend my tips on
    Work hard....play harder

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    One time at bar with friends I went to go grab money out of my garter to pay for my drinks. But I was wearing jeans. HAHA!

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    I did that one time!!!! That's funny! I also before when removing my panties at home tried to remove them from the side break away but then realized, they were my regular panties! hehehe!

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    Default Re: Getting my stripper self & real self confused sometimes.

    PsyMjr ,,,how do you know she is "obviously" performing because she is in a stressful situation? She does have another job. Maybe that is true for some but not all.

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