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Thread: Immature parents

  1. #1
    Senior Member Pinup Girl's Avatar
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    Default Immature parents

    I am visiting my parents' house which happens at most twice a year. I just needed to rant to someone. Sometimes it really seems like my mom and I have this weird relationship where I am HER parent. As she is getting older she constantly looks to me for validation and support. I don't mind giving it to her but it's frustrating because she can be really immature both socially and in her actions. I am the oldest child and it's hard sometimes because I feel like she gave me very little support when I was growing up. I always felt like I never had anyone to look up to because she was so silly and partied all the time. I just had to talk about this. Does anyone know how this feels?

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    Default Re: Immature parents

    Well, I do know that as I get older, my mom looks at me on more of an equal level than when I was little. She looks to me for validation and support and a listening ear when she's had a bad day (which isn't so bad... except she ALWAY wants to talk... A LOT.. Bleh). She was never a real partier, though... Well, I think you should feel sort of proud that she's looking up to you... It sounds like she thinks highly of you.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Senior Member Pinup Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immature parents

    ^ You're right. I think she's going through menopause and it's making everything worse.

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    Default Re: Immature parents

    Good Lord! My mom went through that... RUN! Run for the hills! Lol.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Senior Member lalitha's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immature parents

    I can relate to this completely. I'm an only child, and sometimes I feel like my parents are MY children. Everything from money for late bills to moral support through their divorce to dealing with the afermath of their ill-thought out decisions. It can be exhausting, and I've since learned to put up some boundaries.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immature parents

    i just got in a fight with my mom becuse she dressed in teeny bopper stores and i told her thay she is almosy 50 the body shop is not a store for you. arrrrr

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immature parents

    I don't know, I've seen 50 year old women with the body that can dress in those kind of clothes.

    OTOH, if you DON'T have that body, then you're right, you shouldn't wear it.

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    Default Re: Immature parents

    My Mom and I are like best friends plus I can get advice from her as well as her getting it from me - its nice like this .

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    Senior Member Pinup Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immature parents

    ^ Good for you but that has nothing to do with the post. I wanted some commiseration damnit! I'm on my rag.

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    Default Re: Immature parents

    Sorry just trying to give my own happy take from my side . It's too bad that you have to be the grown up but you can't change how they act I can only hope they grow up one day . Be proud of who you are

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    Default Re: Immature parents

    This is a normal progression, I think.

    It does suck though because we feel like we still need parenting as well. Hopefully, you can strike a balance with leaning on each other.

    Good luck.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Immature parents

    Quote Originally Posted by Pinup Girl
    I am visiting my parents' house which happens at most twice a year. I just needed to rant to someone. Sometimes it really seems like my mom and I have this weird relationship where I am HER parent. As she is getting older she constantly looks to me for validation and support. I don't mind giving it to her but it's frustrating because she can be really immature both socially and in her actions. I am the oldest child and it's hard sometimes because I feel like she gave me very little support when I was growing up. I always felt like I never had anyone to look up to because she was so silly and partied all the time. I just had to talk about this. Does anyone know how this feels?
    I know exactly how you feel! Many things you said in this post apply to me and my mother (I'm estranged from my father). I remember my mom partying and drinking a lot when I was in my early teens until about 5 years after I moved out. She would share her drama and her sexcapades with me throughout my teen years. If it weren't for me being depenent on her for financial support, it would be just like she were another person in my own peer group. And, yes, we fought like kids, too. Not violence or anything, just big arguments that ended in one or both of us refusing to talk to each other, sometimes for weeks on end. To the point where she would communicate with me through other family members "Tell my daughter that I'm not coming home tonight" kind of stuff while I'm sitting in the same room.

    Now that i'm getting older, I've realized that we never really do grow up much more beyond high school. I've just got better decision making skills now.

    How does one gain the wisdom to make good decisions... Through expierence. How does one gain expiereince? Through making bad decisions.


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