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Thread: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

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    Default Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    I've been dancing 6 wks now at a very upscale, no touching allowed club and already have had my kitty grabbed 2 times! The first time (I discussed it in an earlier post) I just got the hell away from him, the 2nd time (this past Saturday) I got him kicked out. I went with all the bouncers, stood near the guy from far enough away where he couldn't reach me, and pointed right at him and looked him in the eye and said "that's him, that's the man that grabbed my crotch". Of course he denied it but the 8 or so bouncers kicked he and his friends out immediately. Many dancers in my club say that that happens infrequently but it's happened to me 2x and I've only been dancing for 6 wks. Could it just be bad luck for me? I know I'm not doing anything to instigate them or give them any indication that it's ok. The first guy I was dancing for him and warned him to not touch me but he did anyway, and this guy on Saturday, I had all my clothes on and was just standing there talking to him when he did the "quick sweep up the leg" move. Not that it makes it any better but at least this time I had my panties on unlike the last time. WTF!!!!!!!! Is it just me or does it happen as frequently as it has to me?

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Well I do have to ask - how did they grab it? From behind or front? All guys have to be watched when giving dances. Even when I bend over I turn my head around to see what they are doing and I smile to make it not look like Im watching them. Im sorry that happened to you too. I'll slap someones hand and get them kicked out for that shit.
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Not bad, in my opinion.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Sorry to say, 2 times in 6 weeks isn't too bad--and you'll get better at learning how to stop it before it happens, too.

    Just be glad the bouncers are on your side, kick out the guys who try it, and don't try it themselves--I've heard plenty about bouncers, managers, and DJs grabbing ass and more. In the majority of the clubs I've worked in, they won't do shit about it.

    If it was up to me, it'd be hammer time, and I mean that quite literally, for those fingers.

    It happens in the most upscale clubs, especially if they have extras going on there, but even if they don't. A dancer I know actually got fined as a result of a bouncer, who rather than throwing out the guy for assaulting the poor girl, got her in trouble for it. This in a supposedly 'classy' club. Right...
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    That's not too bad (2x in 6wks)... It will happen again. You just gotta watch them... really well!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    i'd consider that to be pretty bad.... i've been dancing for over 3 years and i can only remember one time that someone actually grabbed me down there, and it was actually a drunk woman in the club who grabbed it from behind when i was bent over talking to some guys at a table behind her, cos she thought it was a 'funny' thing to do. from memory, i flipped out, screamed at her and punched her in the arm.

    i dunno... maybe i've just been really, really lucky??

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    Veteran Member Rayna Skye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    I think you're very lucky that it's only happened twice. Here it happens all the time. Some clubs let the guys grab you, even though it's against the law. When you say something, the owner acts like it's your fault, or you're too sensitive.

    The club I'm at now is next door to a club that let's guys do whatever they want, and there is sex in the building. My club trys really hard to wacth the patrons, and I'm thankful for that, but let's face it, they can't be everywhere at once. I had a guy some how manage to but his finger where the sun don't shine. I kicked him in the face. Why would you do that?

    What I love about this club is how close everyone is. Some of the other guys came over and kicked the guy a few times, because he was coming after me for kicking him in the face. The bouncer put the guy out, and then the dj said in the mic, "yeah this ani't that club next door. No Touching!"
    So you are very lucky in my book. And keep standing up for yourself.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    If you work in a high contact two way touching environment it will happen alot whereas if you work in a one way touching environment regardless of the contact it might not happen as much.... regardless... twice in six weeks is actually regarded as infrequent.

    I've lost count the no. of times people have tried to touch where they definately are not supposed to touch esp. during a lap dance. It's just part of the job therefore you must never trust any customer in the lap dance... always watch them! ALWAYS!


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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Oh hell... twice in one night is good for some places.
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by PaigeDWinter
    Oh hell... twice in one night is good for some places.
    Twice in one night meant I only got two dances in one place I worked!!

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    ^^Yikes

    And, really all u can do is watch them like a hawk. I always let the custy know the touching rules before I start my dance. And, I make sure I get paid up front. In case they do try something I can just walk away w/ money in hand.
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    I'm really sorry to hear about what happened and I think that it is totally unacceptable! I have never seen this kind of thing happen at work and if I did I would be outraged. Isn't it technically some kind of sexual abuse? The guys at our club are generally very respectful of us. They wouldn't dare touch us in our club - they are scared to even touch us on the arm! I think 2 times in six weeks is awful. Just because it happens more often in other clubs it doesn't make it any better.

    Wow, I mean it's your body - how dare they touch it? The only time I had a problem was when a guy in my club patted my ass as he walked by me I went mental! He apologised and realised why it was a stupid thing to do. Apart from that - nothing. Make sure you don't let guys get away with stuff like that. Hopefully any action taken against them afterwards would seriously make them scared to ever do it again! I really hope it doesn't happen to you again.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    How long have u been dancing SammyGirl?
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by sammygirl
    I'm really sorry to hear about what happened and I think that it is totally unacceptable! I have never seen this kind of thing happen at work and if I did I would be outraged. Isn't it technically some kind of sexual abuse? The guys at our club are generally very respectful of us. They wouldn't dare touch us in our club - they are scared to even touch us on the arm! I think 2 times in six weeks is awful. Just because it happens more often in other clubs it doesn't make it any better.

    Wow, I mean it's your body - how dare they touch it? The only time I had a problem was when a guy in my club patted my ass as he walked by me I went mental! He apologised and realised why it was a stupid thing to do. Apart from that - nothing. Make sure you don't let guys get away with stuff like that. Hopefully any action taken against them afterwards would seriously make them scared to ever do it again! I really hope it doesn't happen to you again.

    Oh it's sexual assault 100%. But who will protect dirty strippers. We asked for it, after all.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Leo, believe it or not I find the more "upscale" clubs I have worked at the guys are more handsy. Some of them think they can do wrong if they have money. I have worked a couple "blue collar" clubs and didn't make as much money but the guys weren't nearly as handsy as they are are the "white collar/golfer" club.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan
    Oh it's sexual assault 100%. But who will protect dirty strippers. We asked for it, after all.
    Surely if we make remarks like that then we will just encourage it more? I just don't understand why people are saying 'oh its not that bad'. It's very bad. Just because it happens more often in other places doesn't mean it lessens the seriousness of it. It's a bit like someone saying 'I got sexually abused twice in just over a month' and loads of people replying saying 'think yourself lucky love - happens to me every night!'

    I think the attitute of 'oh well we are strippers so we have to expect it' is totally wrong and we should be the last people to adopt such an atitude. We are dancers working in the entertainment industry - we provide the men with good company, entertainment and fun. We don't deserve to be pushed and prodded like an object.

    I have been dancing for about a year by the way. Not the longest time ever, but its just common sense to see that the OP has a problem. I just don't understand why most of the replies seem to be making out like it's trivial.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    It's not too bad,Leogirl,but you have to watch their hands,as well as faces and body language,and which direction they are going all the time.If you do that,soon you'll be able to tell when they are about to do that and prevent it.And please don't tell them that you've only been dancing 6 weeks,because they will think that you're still brand new to the business and try to take advantage of you.They can even say something like:"But all the other girls are OK with it."

    In other words,they won't stop trying it,and all you can do is learn how to handle it.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by sammygirl
    We don't deserve to be pushed and prodded like an object.

    ...I just don't understand why most of the replies seem to be making out like it's trivial.
    Quote Originally Posted by rusdancer
    ...they won't stop trying it,and all you can do is learn how to handle it.
    Rusdancer said it all.

    Of course it's not trivial--it's a form of sexual assault, and in some clubs, like the one I currently work in, it happens every night, to virtually every dancer in VIP, at some point. It doesn't help that some dancers allow finger fucking, this makes trying to grab the kitty seem 'trivial' in the mind of many customers--the assholes who view going to stripclubs as an opportunity to 'release the inner rapist'.

    It's one of the reasons the burnout rate is so high, and that most new dancers don't last, and that so many who do last wind up getting jaded about men. You have to have a heart of steel to survive.

    I'm just really happy to hear that in some clubs it's kept under better control. As I said, I'd use a hammer, lol--but instead all I can do is console the dancers who will listen if they are having a bad night, and sometimes play 'angry girl' music for them.
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    I didn't tell this customer that I was new, heck I was only talking to him for less than 5 minutes. He grabbed me from the front but he was so fucking fast that I didn't see it coming. There are some guys that get grabby a little bit at a time and keep trying to push the limit. Those are guys that I can predict will touch and I nip it in the bud right there but the ones that just go right for it w/o any warning, how am I to know that?

    Yes, the bouncers are on our side and won't tolerate ANY touching. One time there was a guy that kept on trying to touch my upper thighs, hips & butt while I was dancing on the table and I kept telling him to stop. Well, within 10-15 of him doing that, the bouncer came right over and told him, there's no touching of the dancers and if he did it again he'll be out. That customer said to me (this was before the bouncer came over) well, I just tipped you really good and have a lot of money to spend so I should be able to touch. I said to that customer, I don't care how much money you have, no touching!!!!

    I wouldn't work in a club that allowed touching and that the bouncers weren't on my side. I just mentally & emotionally couldn't handle it. I have to say, dancers that can are much stronger women than me!

    For the ones that are really fast like the one last Saturday, how can I predict and see it coming? The ones that start off touching other areas to see what they can get away with is one thing but the ones that do it so fast and take you off guard, how do you know so you can avoid it? Should I be watching every single customers hand every single second? If I did that, that would make the good ones feel uncomfortable and probably would make my job not enjoyable then. What should I do?

    And, wow, I can't believe there are clubs that the bouncers grab the girls!!! WTF???? WTF are they there for and WTF do they even get tipout??? That's the whole reason why we dancers pay them, for our protection and security from customers, it's not supposed to be from them! I always tip the bouncers at my club very well, I think on the high to high average depending on my night but never, never the minimum, I want them on my side. It's no wonder there's such high burnout the way dancers are treated, and it's not just the customers. There's something seriously wrong with that! I guess that's why there's not as high of turnover in my club. There's one girl that's been there 15 yrs, another 6, another 5 and I know there's more.

    It's no wonder dancers are hitting customers in the face, kicking them in the balls, etc. because there's nobody else that will! In my club, we can get into serious trouble for hitting a customer, but I guess because we don't have to, the bouncers will.

    I'll tell ya, since I've been working in this industry, my eyes have opened up a whole new way!

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    P.S. I rarely ever hear the "other girls are ok with it" because every customer knows there's no touching. I hear customers saying all the time, it sucks there's no touching allowed here. I believe they are told that at the door when they come it. It's pretty well known that the Cheetah, in Atlanta does not tolerate touching. The rule is about dancers touching customers is they have to see air between you. You can get close but there still has to be air between you. Of course the rules are broken from time to time but not as often as you'd think. (at least as far as I've seen) I'm sure there are a few girls there that really break the rules and pay off the owner, bouncers, etc. but if there is, I've never seen it nor heard about it and I plan to keep it that way.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    What's the saying: Roman hands and Russian fingers? Sometimes guys are super fast. And, being grabed just happens. Hell no I'm not ok w/ it. If a guy grabs Miss Kitty they better have an extra pairs of pants w/ them. 'Cause they'll be walking aroung w/ what looks like a piss stain on their groin area. "Ooppssss did I knock your drink over sweetie? Now that's 50$ for abusing Miss. Kitty or I'll go talk to that nice bouncer over there. I'm sure he'll be glad to escort u out."
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by leogirl876
    P.S. I rarely ever hear the "other girls are ok with it" because every customer knows there's no touching. I hear customers saying all the time, it sucks there's no touching allowed here. I believe they are told that at the door when they come it. It's pretty well known that the Cheetah, in Atlanta does not tolerate touching. The rule is about dancers touching customers is they have to see air between you. You can get close but there still has to be air between you. Of course the rules are broken from time to time but not as often as you'd think. (at least as far as I've seen) I'm sure there are a few girls there that really break the rules and pay off the owner, bouncers, etc. but if there is, I've never seen it nor heard about it and I plan to keep it that way.
    All customers know that there is no touching allowed,but sometimes there will be just that one a$$hole that will say that "other girls are OK with it",or "it sucks that no touching is allowed" or any other phrase,simply because he will think that a phrase like that just might give him a chance to get away with more.If you haven't heard it yet,then you will,maybe at the present club or at another club if you happen to change clubs and it doesn't matter on how nice the club is,or where it is located.This is just a part of the industry,whether we like it or not.
    There are also girls who will break rules and will tell you "other girls are OK with doing it".I see it happen all the time,this is a part of the industry as well.
    Trust me,I hate to see this sort of thing happening,and it even happens to me,even after close to 12 years in the business,working in different types of clubs with different locations,US and abroad,besides my home club (and I thought I knew everything),and it seems to be getting worse.It's true,sometimes you just cannot predict what the customer might do,they also seem to be getting more creative and slick when it comes to grabbing,and they might think that it would be easier with someone new in the business.You don't even have to tell them anything,they sometimes can guess.But we simply cannot change what is happening in clubs nowadays,or the people who go there or work there,so the only thing we can to is learn how to handle these situations or even defend ourselves.That's why we try to give each other advice on this forum (thank you,Pryce!) or at work,because we hate to see this happen to other people and want to prevent it.
    But please don't let these things upset you.At least you seem to have a great security crew in your club,which is doing their job to kick the offenders out.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Geez after reading this thread I cant believe how common it crotch grabbing is. Its sad really. Funny how money cant buy these guys common sense to not touch or else. Ive only had it happen a few times in the now year Ive been back dancing. They get warned once if it wasnt too bad and a 2nd time I get up and leave. To the OP its really good you have bouncers on your side each time.
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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    I was being sarcastic. Don't worry, there are a couple men in jail right now for what they did to me in the club.

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    Default Re: Been dancing 6 wks & kitty grabbed 2x already!!!

    Wow, it really hasn't happened to me many times in three years. Maybe you are too "off gaurd" with your dances. Keep an eye on them, and tell them beforehand, there is absolutely no touching!
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