Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: he's got a gf...what to do??

  1. #1
    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Location
    on Falkor the luckdragon's back
    Posts
    938
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default he's got a gf...what to do??

    so i've managed to become friends with an ex-bf of mine. he lives in jersey and i live in ny. we talk on the phone but i haven't actually seen him in 2 years. i am supposed to head down there next weekend BUT...well, the problem is that i'm not really over him. at all. i had (irrational) hopes of seeing him and things working out again. but now he's got a gf

    to see him with another girl might kill me (well, not really, but you know what i mean). but if i don't go i think i will always wonder...what if? if he's happy then i am glad for him, even if it makes me sad. and i don't really want to go there with a plan to break them up.

    at the same time...they Just started dating.

    should i go or should i back out??? what to do, what to do?

  2. #2
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: he's got a gf...what to do??

    If you go to see him it might open up a whole 'nother mess of memories and ideas. You might start wanting something that doesnt want you - would you want that for yourself? You deserve someone who wants you. If he is going to ever be with you again (espcially now that he is in a relationship with someone else) let him make the 1st move. If he does also make sure he is single when he does.

    So overall I wouldnt go.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  3. #3
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    923
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: he's got a gf...what to do??

    If it were me, I'd stipulate right off the bat that I didn't want to hang out with his new girlfriend whatsoever and that he should leave her home... if he agrees to that, you have a better idea of how things stand and how to proceed accordingly.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Location
    on Falkor the luckdragon's back
    Posts
    938
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: he's got a gf...what to do??

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    If you go to see him it might open up a whole 'nother mess of memories and ideas.
    oh, i've already got a mess of memories and ideas i'm afraid. vivid memories. and when we started talking again i told him the i could never be with him again, because i beleived it to be true at the time. so he may never make the first move with that in mind.

    then again, i had a reason for telling him that in the first place...

  5. #5
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 13 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: he's got a gf...what to do??

    Yek had some great advice about getting over someone...
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  6. #6
    Featured Member Vamp's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    1,111
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked 757 Times in 289 Posts

    Default Re: he's got a gf...what to do??

    I have been in the same situation. I saw him. He wasn't at all how i remebered. I kept thinking was I drunk the whole time I dated him? wtf was I thinking?

    If you really want to go, do it. Just be prepared for whatever might happen.

    Did he say why he wanted to see you again?

  7. #7
    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Location
    on Falkor the luckdragon's back
    Posts
    938
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: he's got a gf...what to do??

    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp
    Did he say why he wanted to see you again?
    he said he misses me. tells me he loves me whenever we talk. that he thinks about me and looks at pictures of me everyday.

    in any case, it's irrelevant now because i haven't heard from him in 3 days.

    thanks anyway for all the good advice though...

  8. #8
    madmaxine
    Guest

    Default Re: he's got a gf...what to do??

    Forgive me for the bluntness here.

    He wants a piece of tail on the side & you're a "safe bet." Guys don't factor in sentiment when they let an ex-girl back in. They're trying to juice as much out of the relationship as possible....Sorry, "let's be friends" doesn't happen.
    I know I sound like a b*tch but I've come to accept time can do a number on a (wo)man you thought you knew.

  9. #9
    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Location
    on Falkor the luckdragon's back
    Posts
    938
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: he's got a gf...what to do??

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    Forgive me for the bluntness here.

    He wants a piece of tail on the side & you're a "safe bet." Guys don't factor in sentiment when they let an ex-girl back in. They're trying to juice as much out of the relationship as possible....Sorry, "let's be friends" doesn't happen.
    I know I sound like a b*tch but I've come to accept time can do a number on a (wo)man you thought you knew.

    actually, that's not the case at all. the fact is that i'm a virgin and so i've never slept with him. not when we were together not since we've been friends. we started talking again almost a year ago and it has been purely platonic. no hook ups. no phone sex. nothing. and i have made it clear that i would not be able to have any sexual relationship with him if we were just friends.

    i could be wrong, but i doubt he's been maintaing a friendship with me all this time in the hopes that i will give in and fuck him. he knows me well enough to know this will never happen.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member sent_from_heaven11's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Posts
    473
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 26 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: he's got a gf...what to do??

    If you are not over him I would not go. I saw my ex and I was not over him. I had to get over him all over again. It sucked. Your situation is a little different because you have not seen him for awhile. Just be careful. Don't go into this expecting anything=) Good luck

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •