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Thread: Friends with a custy?????

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    Default Friends with a custy?????

    Hi all, Lexi here...i am a newbie so bear with me....i just got on this website and did so because i have a situation...i have become really close friends with one of my customers...we started hanging out about 4 months ago and have screwed around some but never slept together. Over the past 4 months or so, we have become very good friends but I think some people think we are more than that. He is not necessarily my type (that i am used to going out with) and maybe at the beginning I thought about dating him, but now it would just seem awkward. I am not sure if he has feelings for me other than being friends but I am pretty sure if i were forward enough, he would sleep with me but he really isnt the aggressive type. He recently took me out to the cape for the weekend and we had a great time. I would like to keep our friendship as it is, but sometimes I think about doing more. Anybody in a similar situation that could help me out with suggestions. Thanks.
    Muah, Lexi

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    You can never be friends with a custie, or normal unattached hetero man, for that matter..the glare from the Goldmine you are sitting on is blinding to them!

  3. #3
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    Is this the same guy you were inquiring about being able to be just platonic friends with? I just wouldn't do it.

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    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    Tread lightly here. They always expect more than you are willing to give them and even if you do end up dating, he will most likely throw your job in your face at some point. That has just been my experience.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    If you're still charging him for your services, he is not your friend. If you're no longer making money off him, he is no longer a customer.

    But he can't be both.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    ^^ So true, just as your bartender, waitress, accountant, mechanic, or the guy who painted your garage could never be your friend as long as they are charging for their services. Any bartender who was your friend would not be willing to sell you drinks. You could be a friend or a customer, you can't be both.

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    Default Re: Friends with a custy????? - Twister & Doc

    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ
    Tread lightly here. They always expect more than you are willing to give them and even if you do end up dating, he will most likely throw your job in your face at some point. That has just been my experience.
    thanks for the input...i guess i could be wrong, but he is not the type to throw stripping back in my face. He as been around it before. And Doc, it is now very rare that I charge him for dances,etc. But the thing is that I really do care for him. And because we spend so much time together (outside of the club) I kinda feel that I am dating him without the sex. I am not sure why we havent slept together. He is good looking, i am sure he is attracted to me. Like I said earlier, there have been some drunken episodes but no actual sex. I guess if I feel like I am dating him maybe we should sleep together. I guess that could give me the answer if their is something more there. I dont know why I have been thinking about this and him so much lately but it is kind of making me crazy!!
    kisses, lexi

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    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    Honestly, I don't think it's a bad thing to be friends with a customer, but you must think long and hard about it. Things will change once you completely cross the line from him being a client and being your friend. One aspect of the friend situation is that it may no longer be appropriate for him to continue buying dances from you. In fact, he shouldn't want to.
    \

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    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    I've become friends with a dancer or two. But there's always the akward stage when you both want to continue the custy/stripper relationship without relinquishing the friendship part.

    Then when the relationship converts to true friendship, it's impossible to be a customer.


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
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    Veteran Member Miss_Eliza's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish
    If you're still charging him for your services, he is not your friend. If you're no longer making money off him, he is no longer a customer.

    But he can't be both.

    Why not? If I cleaned house for a liveing and became friends with one of my clients. I would still charge them to clean their house. If I ran a daycare then I would still charge my friends to drop off their kids.
    It is different but not really.
    If you are spending time with someone out side of work as friends for free. Then why aren't they your friend. But if they come to see you at work. Well work is work , and if they want a dance then they have to pay. If you were working bar you couldn't give your friends free drinks all night.

    I have exboyfriends come in and buy dances. I have had guy friends that I have known for years come in buy dances. So if I become friends with a guy that I meet at a club. Then I don't see the big deal about still dancing for him. They can always make the choice to not come to the club while you are working.
    But I am involved so they know that if they want to see me naked that it will have to be at the club. OK so thats not really true. I answer the door nude and swim nude and if you come to my house for supper I cook topless. But if they want to see me dance nude then they have to go to the club or go out drinking with me.
    My point is all I have to offer is friendship. I tell them clearly all I have to offer is my friendship. I also tell them that they don't have to still buy dances just because they always use to. Sometimes they stop for awhile, but so far they always end up getting more. Guys just like naked women. And if your going to spend money why not with a friend.
    You say psycho like it's a bad thing

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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    Seems to me that the issue is more of "do i want to pursue some form of romantic relationship with this guy or not. Ya's have already got close enough i think, to the point where the business relationship is over anyway. What is your concern...if you should be with him romantically or if you really should stop charging for occasional dances? Seems like you and him just have a good connection that should be explored further,,,forget about the stripping or the relationship ya's had when ya's first met. Its quite different now for the better is seems.

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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Silky
    Seems to me that the issue is more of "do i want to pursue some form of romantic relationship with this guy or not. Ya's have already got close enough i think, to the point where the business relationship is over anyway. What is your concern...if you should be with him romantically or if you really should stop charging for occasional dances? Seems like you and him just have a good connection that should be explored further,,,forget about the stripping or the relationship ya's had when ya's first met. Its quite different now for the better is seems.
    You are right, we do have an unbelievable connection. My concern is definately not if I should stop charging it is all about whether or not I move forward with a romantic relationship. He was out of town for a week up until friday and we went for dinner friday night. It had been two weeks since I saw him and what was so weird was that when we went out i was sitting there realizing how much i missed him when he was gone. There just seems to be a level of happiness when I am with him. I am so confused as to why he hasnt tried anything with me...more than we have already done anyways. I really do not want to ruin our friendship, but is it normal to have these types of feelings for someone of the opposite sex and not have sex???? Like i said earlier, I feel like we are "dating" anyways, just without the sex and I know regardless of what I tell people everyone believes we are sleeping together anyways. It's not that I care what people think, he happens to be a very well liked guy, popular, etc. but I just don't know what to do. CRAZY!!!!
    Any Ideas?
    XOXO
    Lexi

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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    My one regular is also my friend. We go out for dinner, bum around together, go to other SCs to tip girls and drink... he rocks. But I have never fooled around with him. He knows my boyfriend and knows that we will always just be friends and he will always be my regular. It very much rocks.
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    so, went out with my cust. the one i have been talking about and some other people and it looked like he was jealous when i was talking to another guy in our group...then i kind of felt myself being jealous when he was talking to another girl. The thing is, i kind of like this other guy too...I AM SO CONFUSED! HELP!!!!

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    Featured Member tootsie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish
    If you're still charging him for your services, he is not your friend. If you're no longer making money off him, he is no longer a customer.

    But he can't be both.

    MY THOUGHTS WERE RUNNING THROUGH YOUR MIND!!!!!1

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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot
    ^^ So true, just as your bartender, waitress, accountant, mechanic, or the guy who painted your garage could never be your friend as long as they are charging for their services. Any bartender who was your friend would not be willing to sell you drinks. You could be a friend or a customer, you can't be both.
    I'm a man and 2 of my best mates in my village are my mechanic and the local bar man. Another regular drinking companion is the builder who did my house extension. The logic of what you are saying is that you can only have friends who you don't have any contact with commercially and that's just not true.

    I think it is true to say that most men talking to strippers are looking for sex initially at least but after a while this changes. I used to date an Australian stripper in London years ago , we did sleep together at that time and went on holiday { I paid needless to say} but she eventually went back and got married. However we have stayed in touch and she and hubby { and her parents} have stayed with me in England and I have stayed with them in Aussie. We have not bonked for nearly 20 years but we are still friends.

    Tyke

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    I disagree that you cannot do business with a friend as a rule, even if that business is stripping. There are too many exceptions for it to be a rule. Maybe it is for you and maybe for others you know, but it is not true for every pairing of people.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with a custy?????

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyke
    I'm a man and 2 of my best mates in my village are my mechanic and the local bar man. Another regular drinking companion is the builder who did my house extension. The logic of what you are saying is that you can only have friends who you don't have any contact with commercially and that's just not true.
    There's something about my post that you missed. It's called sarcasm.

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