Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: do you ever feel bad?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    287
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default do you ever feel bad?

    Do you ever feel bad about hustling the customers? Today this guy got several dances after a fairly shitty night and it was one of those customers that I actually liked and got along with. The dances and conversation definately had a spark, and although 80% of it was all hustle, there was some genuine feeling there too. Well at the end of the night he asks me if I want to hang out. (he's on business, leaving the next day) I say okay, we can go next door to the nightclub and have a couple of drinks. At this point I wasn't going to be making any money off him but he had turned my bad night into a good night so I was like, "why not, let's go next door" Well, I had to get changed and by the time I did, he left. I have a feeling he thought I had taken off and ditched him (or it could be that he realized that nothing was going to happen, but I don't know...) and I feel bad about it. I was just doing my job, but I feel guilty even though I did nothing to lead him on aside from actually doing my job. Make sense? Has this ever happened to you?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    290
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Hmm . . . traveling business man. I have a feeling he was looking to hang out with you somewhere other than a night club. Obviously, he knew you had to change. There is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

  3. #3
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Location
    VIP Room
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 77 Times in 43 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Exactly what calliope said. When you said let's hang out next door he knew he probaby wasn't getting any so that's why he took off. He knew you had to change & check out. Now if you said let's go back to your hotel room then he would've waited until his plane left the next day, hell he'd probably miss his plane & get on the next one if you were coming back to his room. DON'T feel bad, you're just doing your job and he was being a typical man & typical customer, trying to get laid.

  4. #4
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    2,691
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 61 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    He also may have had one of those guilty moments while he was away from you - remembering his wife, his kids...etc. etc. Sometimes that can happen. But it probably was what the other girls said. So don't feel bad. But I do know what you mean. I've had little moments like that. But I don't dwell on it - this is a job that you can't afford to get emotional.

  5. #5
    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    "Trinity Vicinity" Wilmington, Delaware
    Posts
    797
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked 55 Times in 38 Posts
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    I wouldn't be able to say what the fellow's intentions were, but he may not have known how long it would take to get to a place just next door.

    There are anumber of after-hours places in Philadelphia, including a joint called Zee-Bar, next to Delilah's. Regardless of whether it's Zee-Bar, Emerald City, Lounge125 or Denim, unless something unusual was going on, the dancers I know don't get there until half an hour after the club closed. He may have expected only ten or fifteen minutes.

  6. #6
    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    in your dreams, in my nightmares
    Posts
    2,085
    Thanks
    59
    Thanked 139 Times in 85 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    You definately have nothing to feel bad about - after all, he asked you out, you said yes, and then he left without goodbye or explanation. That's rude of him, frankly.

    Although maybe he was next door waiting for you? I know I hate waiting around once the club is closing, they usually are trying to get all the customers out the door as quickly as possible... but yeah, most likely he didn't really mean 'hang out' when he asked you to 'hang out', that's why he left.

  7. #7
    madmaxine
    Guest

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Naw, don't feel bad. 99% of men consider all dancers "flaky 'hos" until a dancer proves herself otherwise. Plus, he took off. He flaked on you.

  8. #8
    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,346
    Thanks
    83
    Thanked 265 Times in 150 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    I would not feel bad, and IMO meeting custies (especially those you just met) outside the club looks bad on your part and on the industry as a whole. There are a million reasons why this guy bailed, maybe he just wanted to see if you would say yes. You do not owe the customers anything. Doing this with customers makes them all think stripclubs are the place to pick up dates, get sex, and talk to us for free. I would advise you decline on offers from strange men you just got paid to get naked for in the future.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

  9. #9
    BrunetteGoddess
    Guest

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Hey, it's their fault for thinking they're going to get some from a stripper...

  10. #10
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    287
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Thanks guys. Deep down it's what I thought, but I just had this nagging little feeling, and you're right. he took off.

    btw, it's also something I very, very rarely do. In fact, I can't even remember doing it. It had been a bad night...

  11. #11
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    I actually did hang out with a guy that I did not get the pervert feel from...I went to a hotel room...and he bought me room service pizza....and then I left. After I ate the pizza. This only happens when I know that I can utterly kick his ass if he tried any moves on me...That and I won't take a drink that's not made in front of me.

    Sometimes I feel bad, but its business as usual.

  12. #12
    BrunetteGoddess
    Guest

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Lol..

  13. #13
    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    676
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Please don't feel bad at all.

    He may have been confused about where you went. He may have also wanted to get you to ask to go back to his hotel. He may have also rethought meeting you in private and considered it inappropriate of him.

    If you enjoy spending some time with a customer, just enjoy it. Like we do.

    That's what is so wonderful about SC's - just enjoy some polite time together and don't feel bad about it or worry about them when you leave.


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
    It's about those moments which leave you breathless."

  14. #14
    Senior Member Pinup Girl's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    184
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Don't ever feel bad about taking their money.

  15. #15
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Another Country
    Posts
    18,664
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 148 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Don't ever feel bad. There's no point in feel bad, what's it gonna do?


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  16. #16
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    6,699
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 20 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    He probably got a look at all the velour-shirted guys in there and hightailed it.

    Glad your night worked out.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  17. #17
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    South Chicago Suburbs
    Posts
    2,059
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 139 Times in 62 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    You mad ehim happy for a few minutes. That is what you are paid to do. Why on earth would you feel bad about a job well done?


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

  18. #18
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    287
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    I don't know why I felt a bit guilty. I guess I don't like thinking of someone being with me and then feeling conned, it doesn't mesh with who I am as a person. It's not that I took his money, (he paid for a very worthwhile service lol) but that I thought he felt that I ditched him after saying that I would go nextdoor after having gotten his money. But like all of you guys said, he left first and most likely because he couldn't get laid.

    I love posting here. Everyone always offers such good feedback. You guys are great.

  19. #19
    Featured Member venusofwillendorf's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    maryland, dc area
    Posts
    1,037
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    eh. dry cleaners and grocery store clerks don't suffer from guilt for taking the money of their clients when it's due. why should you? he's not "special". he came in knowing full well what he was paying for. when he tried to get more, and saw that he couldn't, he left. such is life.
    be the change you wish to see in the world....
    ~ghandi

    i really love your peaches wanna shake your tree....
    ~steve miller

    why not?
    ~anon

  20. #20
    Veteran Member candie00's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Montreal , Canada
    Posts
    508
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    I dont feel bad. They go in there knowing there going to spend money on a fanstay that makes them feel good.

    I think its better for them to get a clean dance off of me then spend there money on a prostitute that might give them sum kinda disease....

  21. #21
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    House of Aion
    Posts
    8,074
    Thanks
    7,881
    Thanked 5,705 Times in 2,127 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by leogirl876
    Now if you said let's go back to your hotel room then he would've waited until his plane left the next day, hell he'd probably miss his plane & get on the next one if you were coming back to his room.
    What she said!!

  22. #22
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    First, it is wrong for the other girls here to make assumptions about the intent of the customer without having all of the facts.

    Guilt is an evolved psychological mechanism. People feel this emotion for a reason. It helps to correct past behaviors that may not be beneficial in future circumstances that are similar.

    Nobody here knows what happened. There is a large possibility that the customer felt that you took his money, told him you had to change, and then he thought that you ditched him for the night. I say this is a large possibility because a stripper flaking on a customer and not returning when she says she will is very common. In fact, I would say this is more common than a stripper agreeing to see a customer outside the club.

    I can't help but feel that many of the girls that responded to the OP are putting forward flawed self-serving rationalizations in an attempt to reduce Izabella's "guilt" and cast themselves in a positive light as a person offering "support". This is not unusual on this forum.

    Izabella,

    I do not know the intention of the customer. However, you should not feel bad because YOUR INTENT was not to decieve him. It is understandable that you feel mixed emotions because you think that he thinks that you deceived him - very understandable. This just shows how much of a caring person you are. There are many girls who would have brushed it off and would not have given it a second thought. The good thing about this situation is that it will help you better respond to future situations that are similar.

    Good luck!

    PsyMjr

  23. #23
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    9,746
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 50 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    You made a date and got stood up. You should not feel bad, you should be TICKED OFF.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  24. #24
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    South Chicago Suburbs
    Posts
    2,059
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 139 Times in 62 Posts

    Default Re: do you ever feel bad?

    Somebody please rationalize my feelings of superiority by assuring me I could not possibly have been that full of myself when I was getting my BS in Psychology form University of Maryland.


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

Similar Threads

  1. Should I Feel Bad?
    By Everyman in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 07-02-2009, 07:01 PM
  2. Should I feel bad?
    By Lysondra in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 09-09-2008, 03:25 AM
  3. I feel so bad for her..
    By Cally in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 12-05-2006, 12:28 PM
  4. Feel so bad
    By Lexi in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-27-2003, 09:52 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •