Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 121

Thread: I need truly awful music

  1. #1
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    philadelphia suburbs (delaware, actually)
    Posts
    4,857
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default I need truly awful music

    I have a running joke with my GM at work to see what the worst cheesiest cornball lame-o song I can come up with is. (I play them before we open, btw...not when there are girls onstage.) We've got most of it covered, with the recent addition of an entire album of Jack Wagner and the entire Don Johnson "Heartbeat" album, "She's Like The Wind", anything by Eric Carmen....you get the idea. Give me some suggestions, folks! I think between PhillyDJ and I we have a staggering amount of crap....but I am always down with more terrible songs. So come on, bring on the cheese!
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member madison_leigh's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    221
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    What about the "Top Gun" soundtrack?
    My breasts have a career, I'm just tagging along

    "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it may be necessary from time to time to give the stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." -- Miss Piggy

  3. #3
    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,469
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    the song from batman... da da da da da da da batman... i was down in daytona at some club and some dj played it.. he really didn't play it to be funny, he thought it was a "cool" song... i couldn't believe this guy was playing that song in a club.. My bf, who is a former dj was dumbfounded.... haaa

  4. #4
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    3,786
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Cheesy has to be "Party All The Time" by Eddie Murphy. You reminded me of it when you mentioned the Don Johnson one.

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Anything by Rod Stewart or Bryan Adams.

    I saw a dancer once onstage dancing to that corny song that goes, "You're BEAUTIFUL... you're BEAUTIFUL... you're BEAUTIFULLLL, iiiiit's true..." Everyone was staring aghast. HORRBLE song for the club. <shudder>

    My mom calls this stuff "marshmallow music" because it's soft, mushy, gooey, and overly sweet.

  6. #6
    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ATL
    Posts
    1,143
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked 18 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    "Muskrat Love"

    Any Captain & Tanille (sp)

    Any old Sonny & Cher especially "I Got You Babe"

    "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around The Old Oak Tree"...

    Some of The Monkeys stuff maybe

    "Flowers For Mama" <----- if you can find that one you can make your GM puke. I think the artist is the dude who did "Convoy"
    -E
    hilarious signature

  7. #7
    Member Helle Hairpin's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    64
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Mellow Yellow. (forget who does this)
    Anything Was Not Was. (Everybody Walk The Dinosaur!)
    Dio (Holy Diver), anything Rainbo, anything Montrose
    And that 'That's Just My Baby Daddy!' song.
    * Helle Hairpin *


  8. #8
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Va mostly
    Posts
    2,750
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 52 Times in 41 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    That song by Cher and Sunny
    Anything Elvis
    Donna Summers
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  9. #9
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Oh yeah, and the two worst songs ever made... "Seasons in the Sun" and "Achy Breaky Heart."

    DAMMIT. Now I'm going to have "Seasons in the Sun" stuck in my head for the rest of the damn day. I HATE THAT FUCKING SONG. It makes me want to kill someone.

    We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun, but the wine and the song, like the seasons have all gone...

    Last edited by Yekhefah; 06-30-2006 at 01:22 PM.

  10. #10
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    in yer bum
    Posts
    3,827
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Heh, download the spoof off 'i'm in love with a stripper', 'i'm in love with her sister'. Horrible horrible song, but entertaining.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  11. #11
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    123 Tornado Alley Way, Hooterville USA
    Posts
    6,322
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 36 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Most of these are pre-1980 so bear with me:

    John Deere Green
    I Honestly Love You
    Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
    Tell Laura I Love Her
    Beep, Beep (oldies song about the Little Nash Rambler)
    Send In The Clowns
    Spirit In The Sky
    Baby I'm a Want You
    Lots of Carpenters stuff, I personally recommend Top of The World, Sing, and my personal non-favorite, Make Believe Its Your First Time
    409 by the Beach Boys
    The entire soundtrack to The Jazz Singer

    Anything by Alan Jackson, Kenny Rogers or the Four Seasons.

    Pretty much anything disco (ought to be compilation CD's full of this crap). I Was Made for Loving You by KISS and Do You Think I'm Sexy by Rod Stewart are a must.

    God, this could be a long thread...
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  12. #12
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    in yer bum
    Posts
    3,827
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Hahaha John Deere Green...what a horrible song. lol.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  13. #13
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    4,183
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 14 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    There is an artist called Richard Cheese (you can find him on Napster or other websites like it) who sings a classical version of "Closer" by the NIN, "Nookie, Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit , "Baby Got Back" by Sir-Mix-Alot and others as well. It's hilarious and awful. Check it out.

  14. #14
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    ^^^ Oh, that reminds me of a file my boyfriend has of William Shatner singing "Closer" by NIN. Too damn funny. He's also got a little clip of William Shatner singing "The Real Slim Shady" to this cheesy little bouncy jazz music. Limewire ought to have those!

  15. #15
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Now I am really feeling like a dork, because I don't think most of the songs mentioned are truly "awful" just not appropriate for strip clubs.

    How about this for BAAAAAADDDD music:
    Mr. Spock's Music From Outer Space, http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/1931/space.html

    Or how about anything from Jim Nabors, Lawerence Welk, Donnie and Marie Osmond, or Don Ho.

    Or even better... Crappy Christian Butt Rock! I'm thinking Stryper or The News Boys ("They Don't Serve Breakfast in Hell" is good for a few laughs!).

    Do you remember a band call "The Refreshments"? They've got some truly awful stuff on that album, too.

    Oh, and Jon Bon Jovi had a childhood career as a singer. He sang lead vocals on "Merry Christmas R2-D2" on the Christmas in the stars album (kids album). Um, Yeah, I own it .

    Or, how about songs that just grate on people's nerves? Like Mambo No. 5 and Don't Worry, Be Happy.

    Or the all time greatest crappy song... Tiny Tim, Tip Toe Through the Tulips!!

    Some people collect stamps, I collect really crappy music!
    Last edited by Paris; 06-30-2006 at 04:24 PM.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  16. #16
    God/dess
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    8,031
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 143 Times in 42 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Quote Originally Posted by gypsy_girlchild
    Anything Elvis
    Donna Summers
    You watch your mouth there, missy.


    My vote is for "Muskrat Love."

    Though I have long said that the two songs I never, ever want to hear in a club are "Dueling Banjos" and "Send in the Clowns" (big ups Doc C!).

    I have heard many of the above mentioned songs and artists in the club, though.

    And seriously, what's with hating on the King? That's messed up.

  17. #17
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Okay, I thought of some more!

    The "mmmm, mmmm song" by Crash Test Dummys
    "Lingo with the Gringo" By OMC
    "So Long" by Pat Benetar (she should have stuck to Rock!)
    "I've got something to say" By Metallica (As far as I know it was never released for public consumption, but recorded as a joke and some radio DJ got a hold of it and played it on air. Very Very rare *crappy* song by them)

    Anything by Bob Rivers
    The cover tunes by Pat Boone from the album "In a Metal mood... No More Mr. Nice Guy." I love the cover of "Panama" best for being a crappy song on that album, being as he is a christain singer That whole album is available on iTunes.

    Excuse me a minute.....


    Sorry, I'm back now! I almost peed my pants laughing so hard at the Pat Boone album. Yeah, I bought it.

    I stumbled on this one:
    "Indian Love Call" by Jeanette MacDonald & Nelson Eddy (1930's sappy crap). This one should have everyone running out of the building screaming from tha pain of having to listen Be Careful, your ears might bleed while listening to this one.

    If that last song doesn't show that you are the crap music KING, then nothing will work!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  18. #18
    God/dess
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    8,031
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 143 Times in 42 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    "I've got something to say" By Metallica (As far as I know it was never released for public consumption, but recorded as a joke and some radio DJ got a hold of it and played it on air. Very Very rare *crappy* song by them)
    I'm pretty sure that's a cover of "Last Caress" by the Misfits you're talking about ("I've got something to say, I raped your mother today").

    You know what would be really funny, though it's not a sucky song? "Straight Edge" by Minor Threat.

  19. #19
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward
    And seriously, what's with hating on the King? That's messed up.
    I'm with you on this one! I LOVE Elvis, and the new song by him "A little less conversation" is awesome!

    And, yes Susan, I think you are right about the Misfits song. I remember about how the Metallica version was not supposed to be released to anyone, but just for their own private collection. Could have been a copyright issue??

    Girls don't undersetimate the power of The King when stripping. "Jail House Rock" will coat your tip rail with greenbacks!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  20. #20
    Banned Blade's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    The Road To Hell
    Posts
    5,171
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    the metallica version was released on garage days re-revisited in 1987 as the last track on the disk. Last Caress/Green Hell.
    As far as truly awful music goes try my 2 personal faves: Paul Anka: Rock Swings and Pat Boone: In a metal mood,no more mr.Nice Guy. They are AWESOMLY awful!
    Rock Swings:
    1. It's My Life
    2. True
    3. Eye Of The Tiger
    4. Everybody Hurts
    5. Wonderwall
    6. Blackhole Sun
    7. It's A Sin
    8. Jump
    9. Smells Like Teen Spirit
    10. Hello
    11. Eyes Without A Face
    12. Lovecats
    13. The Way You Make Me Feel
    14. Tears In Heaven

    In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy
    1. You've Got Another Thing Comin'
    2. Smoke On The Water
    3. It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N Roll)
    4. Panama
    5. No More Mr. Nice Guy
    6. Love Hurts
    7. Enter Sandman
    8. Holy Diver
    9. Paradise City
    10. The Wind Cries Mary
    11. Crazy Train
    12. Stairway To Heaven

  21. #21
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Quote Originally Posted by Blade
    the metallica version was released on garage days re-revisited in 1987 as the last track on the disk. Last Caress/Green Hell.
    As far as truly awful music goes try my 2 personal faves: Paul Anka: Rock Swings and Pat Boone: In a metal mood,no more mr.Nice Guy. They are AWESOMLY awful!
    Rock Swings:
    1. It's My Life
    2. True
    3. Eye Of The Tiger
    4. Everybody Hurts
    5. Wonderwall
    6. Blackhole Sun
    7. It's A Sin
    8. Jump
    9. Smells Like Teen Spirit
    10. Hello
    11. Eyes Without A Face
    12. Lovecats
    13. The Way You Make Me Feel
    14. Tears In Heaven

    In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy
    1. You've Got Another Thing Comin'
    2. Smoke On The Water
    3. It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N Roll)
    4. Panama
    5. No More Mr. Nice Guy
    6. Love Hurts
    7. Enter Sandman
    8. Holy Diver
    9. Paradise City
    10. The Wind Cries Mary
    11. Crazy Train
    12. Stairway To Heaven
    Great minds think alike!

    The difference being, you actually have taste. I know all these songs because I like to listen to them .


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  22. #22
    Banned Blade's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    The Road To Hell
    Posts
    5,171
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Hahaha! I got the 2 albums as a joke and they are actually listened to weekly. I tap my foot and snap my fingers right along as I croon and serinade Dea with the way you make me feel. She hates me for it lmao!

  23. #23
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    6,699
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 20 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    "she's like the wind" is awesome, lol

    Ok, there was this guy in the 90's named John Secada...he had a song called "just another day". that one truly sucks.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  24. #24
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    4,183
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 14 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    You know, another really awful song that our DJ actually played for me while I think he must have been on drugs or something was the song from Jerry Maguire called "Secret Garden". Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweiger were talking through it too saying "you had me at hello" and what not. It was awful and embarassing.

  25. #25
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: I need truly awful music

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    I'm with you on this one! I LOVE Elvis, and the new song by him "A little less conversation" is awesome!

    "Jail House Rock" will coat your tip rail with greenbacks!
    "The new song" by him? So he really is still alive, eh?

    Sorry, couldn't resist. I never really got onto Elvis, but so many other people do it's hard to ignore the value I suppose, if you have a crowd that will go for it--like the race fans in town this weekend.

    OK, enough about Elvis--we are getting off topic, here.

    The topic being, the worst of cheese...

    I cannot believe no one has mentioned one of the most vile, disgusting, and cheesiest songs in recorded history:

    "Live Without You" Michael Bolton
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. awful stripper?
    By smeca in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-14-2011, 09:55 PM
  2. Awful experience--what should I have done?
    By GreenLady in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 63
    Last Post: 04-23-2011, 07:05 PM
  3. Something Awful forum
    By *Iris* in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 08-01-2008, 04:39 PM
  4. Would it be completely awful...?
    By Miss_McKenna in forum Music Mix
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 06-04-2008, 09:30 PM
  5. this is just... awful and laughable at once
    By Chrissy68 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 01-06-2007, 01:45 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •