Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 34

Thread: My man wont let me dance anymore!

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    WestVirginia
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Me and my man were regulars at some clubs and he would try to get me to get up and dance. Finally i auditioned at our regular club and was hired, he was fine with it for the 3 weeks i was there. He found me a real nice club i started there. I was there about a month and he didnt want me to dance at all anymore! Now its been 3 months since i have last danced and really miss it. When i talk about when i used to work he gets all pissed off. What the hell is his problem? What should i do to get him

  2. #2
    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,134
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 18 Times in 15 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    His problem maybe:

    1. He is insecure with himself, thinking that you will probably find another man, maybe cuter/richer/better and leave him.

    2. He is jealous and doesn't like other men to see you dance or be naked.

    Either one it is, you need to decide whats best for yourself. Were you making more money than you would working a 9-5? Was it effecting your life in positive or negative ways? I have been with someone for almost 2 years and he has no problem when I dance, he has a problem when I don't dance lol. Do what you think is right, sit him down and ask him... what is your problem with me dancing? And go from there. But never hold yourself back for a man, unless you REALLY think hes worth it.. and even then he may not be.

  3. #3
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    3,776
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    So basically your guy wanted to pimp you out so he could be a cool guy with a stripper for a girlfriend, and then when he got tired of that he yanked you back. ummm, why are you dating someone that shallow and insecure? More to the point, why did you listen to him if it was something that you liked doing. It sounds like you're just a trophy to him, babe, and he gets to change who you are to suit his needs, not yours.

  4. #4
    Newbie winterrose982's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma City
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalligirl
    His problem maybe:

    1. He is insecure with himself, thinking that you will probably find another man, maybe cuter/richer/better and leave him.

    2. He is jealous and doesn't like other men to see you dance or be naked.

    Either one it is, you need to decide whats best for yourself. Were you making more money than you would working a 9-5? Was it effecting your life in positive or negative ways? I have been with someone for almost 2 years and he has no problem when I dance, he has a problem when I don't dance lol. Do what you think is right, sit him down and ask him... what is your problem with me dancing? And go from there. But never hold yourself back for a man, unless you REALLY think hes worth it.. and even then he may not be.

    Ditto that!

  5. #5
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    796
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Samore
    ... I was there about a month and he didnt want me to dance at all anymore! Now its been 3 months since i have last danced and really miss it. When i talk about when i used to work he gets all pissed off.
    Just my opinion, but this isn't going to work over the long haul 'cause you have to take people as they are - not want 80% or 90% (or whatever) and think you're going to change the rest, 'cause first, you won't be able to change them, and second, they'll wind up resenting you for what ever restrictions, etc., you're trying to put on them. And, in the case of dancers, a corollary to that rule is that a dancer will quit dancing when she decides she wants to quit dancing - and if you try to make them quit before they're ready to do so on their own, they'll wind up unhappy about it such that you'll screw yourself with her in the process.
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
    - Luke
    "Some men, you just can't reach...."
    - Boss, re Luke

    If there's one thing in my life these years have taught me,
    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
    -Cowboy Junkies

  6. #6
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    13,598
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    The problem is not your "man". It's your decision to stay with someone who bosses you around and tells you what you can or cannot do.

    Fix that problem first (or your view of that problem) and move on from there.

  7. #7
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by fancygirl
    So basically your guy wanted to pimp you out so he could be a cool guy with a stripper for a girlfriend, and then when he got tired of that he yanked you back. ummm, why are you dating someone that shallow and insecure? More to the point, why did you listen to him if it was something that you liked doing. It sounds like you're just a trophy to him, babe, and he gets to change who you are to suit his needs, not yours.
    Exactly! Where does HE get off dictating YOUR life to you? That does not sound like something I'd be able to put up with long term... Wtf, he didn't even tell you why?!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  8. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Phoenix is home, work in Upper Midwest Boonies
    Posts
    3,274
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 107 Times in 61 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Your "man" doesn't understand this business. He doesn't see dancing as a business and is afraid you will leave him for a customer, or start dealing with customers the way you deal with him intimately.

    Have him get a part time job in a srtip club and his views will change within a week.

  9. #9
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Everyone has given great advice here. Jealousy is a cancer in a relationship and can only grow unless caught early. You should really get the courage to see if you can work through his problem or he needs to go. He's like a puppy and dont keep letting him pee on the carpet - tell him NO.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  10. #10
    Veteran Member mark45y's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Thailand
    Posts
    273
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    I don’t know if you want a mans opinion here but I think it is relevant so I will post it.

    This happened to me twice with women I really cared about. Coincidently the both started at the same club. A vanilla topless place without any grinding or VIP or OTC stuff.

    The first lady was 26 when she started. I got to meet the other dancers and significant others as a result of her dancing and realized although the club was almost sex free there was a large drug problem there. Since GF had an addictive personality I insisted she stop dancing if our relationship was to continue.

    GF number two 23 years old, won the amateur contest at the same club a number of years later. I drove her to the club and led her cheering section. She started working there but it was not enough money for her so she switched to a high contact nude club.

    I gave three friends $500 bucks each with the understanding they would also kick in $500 and asked them to take her to the VIP room and see what mileage was available. Since I am not a trusting person I had each of them carry my miniature Panasonic recorder to document the sessions. I guess you don’t need the details of the encounter except to say they got a lot of mileage.

    Perhaps your guy was excited in the beginning and then got to thinking about the realities of the strip club experience or read the posts on the blue site or another one like it and had second thoughts.

    It doesn’t take a brain trust to realize that a lot of things can happen at a club.



  11. #11
    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Plastic & Powder, Arizona
    Posts
    946
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Is this "man" your husband? If not, then it's irrelevant what he thinks.




    "Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams...Live the Life You Have Imagined" -- Henry David Thoreau

    "You Will Be Successful in Business and Married Life" -- Fortune Cookie

  12. #12
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by mark45y
    I gave three friends $500 bucks each with the understanding they would also kick in $500 and asked them to take her to the VIP room and see what mileage was available. Since I am not a trusting person I had each of them carry my miniature Panasonic recorder to document the sessions.
    Are you serious??

    If I thought you might be doing something like that to me, I might have fucked them just to spite you. What a controlling, manipulative asshole. Why be in a relationship with someone you mistrust enough to treat that way?

  13. #13
    242_fair
    Guest

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by mark45y
    I gave three friends $500 bucks each with the understanding they would also kick in $500 and asked them to take her to the VIP room and see what mileage was available. Since I am not a trusting person I had each of them carry my miniature Panasonic recorder to document the sessions. I guess you don’t need the details of the encounter except to say they got a lot of mileage.
    ...

    It doesn’t take a brain trust to realize that a lot of things can happen at a club.

    wow that is almost as bad ad the spy-phone.

  14. #14
    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Location
    Erotic City
    Posts
    882
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 13 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    well, u probably arent dancing in SPITE of him, or dancing to find someone new or whatever. make sure he knows that. being a dancer means you are confident...guys get imitated by confident chicks. they think you can have any man you want. maybe he just needs some reeasurance and some explainations.

    maybe hes afraid u wont need him anymore..since youll be worshipped by tons of men, and making alot of $$$.

    but, you should do what you want, right? weither or not its to stop dancing for yer man, or to continue. but, just make him understand! let him know you care aout his feelings about the issue, but he has to care about yours too. but, its not like you would be choosing dancing over your man, just choosing your own FREEDOM over your mans expectations.

    hope i was any help
    [True Passion Demands Respect]
    [Question All Answers]



    Money Makes Me Horny

  15. #15
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    5,493
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked 50 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Lee
    Is this "man" your husband? If not, then it's irrelevant what he thinks.
    I have to say I agree a lot with this.

    Let me add that all the cattiness of "He FEELS insecure" or "He FEELS jealous" so dump him is good advice - until it applies to what he does to make YOU FEEL that way. Then apparently it is perfectly OK for him to deny your feelings (notice how many posters of this mentality also tend to post "men treat me like shit and don't give a damn." Duh. Look at your own attitude.)

    The "I can do whatever the fuck I want and I don't care how you feel about it" kind of attitude sounds like a shaky foundation for a relationship.

  16. #16
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by mark45y

    I gave three friends $500 bucks each with the understanding they would also kick in $500 and asked them to take her to the VIP room and see what mileage was available. Since I am not a trusting person I had each of them carry my miniature Panasonic recorder to document the sessions. I guess you don’t need the details of the encounter except to say they got a lot of mileage.
    If one has to go through all of that just to get an answer they had suspected all along then the relationship should have been cut off waaay before such actions.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  17. #17
    BrunetteGoddess
    Guest

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    All Im going to say is:

    You only live once. If you want to dance, dance.



  18. #18
    Veteran Member mark45y's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Thailand
    Posts
    273
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    Are you serious??

    If I thought you might be doing something like that to me, I might have fucked them just to spite you. What a controlling, manipulative asshole. Why be in a relationship with someone you mistrust enough to treat that way?
    I understand what you are saying but in that specific instance the young lady concerned was a recovering alcoholic and was truth challenged. Not just with me but with everyone she knew. I happened to care for her very much but in dealing with high risk behavior I feel both parties owe the other complete honesty in order to stay healthy. We were not using protection and as a result of her actions she was putting me at risk without my knowledge.

    I currently live with a dancer who no longer dances professionally (her choice) and have complete trust in her. She however does not trust me and when she is out of town has people following me. I find that amusing and endearing that she cares about me but not in the least bit controlling or manipulative.
    I find that some people are honest and up front about most things. Others are trying to be what their partner wants. Sometimes trying to be what another wants and staying true to yourself is difficult and often the answer is lying about the part that would upset your partner.

    As I am writing this I am waiting for a visit from a couple that are friends of mine. The lady is a dancer in a club that I have an interest in. The guy works offshore on an oil rig. When he is off working she goes back to dancing (high risk dancing) because she likes the money but does not tell him about it. If he knew he would divorce her. During their visit I have been sworn to secrecy about her dancing. I don’t know the guy that well and don’t really feel it is my position to tell him.



  19. #19
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    287
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    It doesn't matter what his reasons are for not wanting you to work, what matters is that he thinks he can tell you where to work and that you listen. If there were trust and understanding, there wouldn't be a problem.

  20. #20
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    I couldn't imagine being in a relationship founded on lies and mistrust. If that's what you want out of life, fine, but I wouldn't be with someone I didn't trust wholeheartedly, or someone I felt I had to lie to.

  21. #21
    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    794
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Dtmfa

  22. #22
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Ralated to Mark45y's story; sorry for not staying on course here.

    Talk is cheap, especially for a person whose profession it is to elicit fantasies in others for money. In the beginning of such a relationship that you wish to go much further (well, not the first few weeks maybe), it is wise to practice 'due diligence' for determining how much truthfulness is or is not going along for the ride. If they are pros at deception and you are not fluent in detection of deception, you either need to find someone who is already known for truthfulness (or help from someone who is a good truth detector) or you need to determine that for yourself. In my opinion the sooner the better for all involved. Anything less than that is allowing oneself to be too vulnerable. This is why establishing new relationships is so difficult. Once you have firmly established trust and affection, you then need to value and nourish the relationship. True mutual love is invaluable.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  23. #23
    242_fair
    Guest

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by mark45y
    I understand what you are saying but in that specific instance the young lady concerned was a recovering alcoholic and

    ok that changes things then

  24. #24
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    9,746
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 50 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by threlayer
    Ralated to Mark45y's story; sorry for not staying on course here.

    Talk is cheap, especially for a person whose profession it is to elicit fantasies in others for money.
    I particularly love the assumption that dancers are more likely to be liars than other women. Talk is no cheaper for us than anyone else - and yes, it is, in general, cheap. That doesn't make it healthy or a good start to spy on your partner or potential partner. If you don't trust, you don't trust - I would say that one should either appreciate their own instincts (that is, if you don't believe it, you don't believe) or just take someone at their word until given a reason to do otherwise.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  25. #25
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: My man wont let me dance anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    I particularly love the assumption that dancers are more likely to be liars than other women.
    Now, I meant that they are more practiced at invoking fantasies than many civvies because they are more practiced at it. I did not say that they are any more likely to lie than others. I also said that some people have a harder time detecting verbal spam than others. The era of my idealism is long over.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Wont get a dance from a girl that doesnt get naked
    By zeke in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 94
    Last Post: 08-18-2012, 09:35 PM
  2. BF wont let me dance :(
    By sexiiqt123 in forum Life Support
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 06-23-2011, 04:01 PM
  3. PC wont play DVD sound anymore???
    By Xiomara in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-18-2007, 08:38 PM
  4. Girl wont dance for me anymore...
    By PBJ in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 08-31-2006, 11:27 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •