So last night I had not one, but TWO penises exposed to me. This had NEVER happened to me before, and then boom! out they come (well, you know what I mean). The first time was in VIP. Even though it's still totally not okay, it's slightly more understandable in there than the location in which freed willy #2 surfaced: right in the lap dance area, with at least 4 other dances going on adjacently.
VIP Dude complied immediately when I told him to put it away, and mostly behaved himself for the rest of the dances (extra grabby, but nothing verboten). Had he pushed it or tried to pull anything else, that would have been it, no second warning. Still, I was majorly skeeved for a while there. I don't know which is more disturbing, the memory of his dick or the memory of his horrible 70's mustache.
Lap Dude, augh! He was one of those winners who wears thin nylon pants - with no underwear - in order to get maximum friction. It was almost the end of the night, and I wasn't watching him as vigilantly as perhaps I should have. It was about two minutes into the dance, and I had turned away to pull my skirt down. I was lowering myself on to him (not for a hard 'grind', but more of a graze, thank God) when I noticed that, nylon shorts aside, something felt WRONG. I whipped my head around and saw it. Didn't even need to think, just stepped away and said, "You can't do that, man. It's over," and pointed the way out. No protest, either, as he knew perfectly well that he fucked up.
Cheers to my bouncers, who didn't even ask for an explanation when I gestured for them to throw Lap Dude out as he was walking towards them. They did it quickly and efficiently, with no resistance that I could see. I love that it was when they came BACK that they asked me what happened. I'm no drama queen, and I've never had anyone kicked out before, so they must have known right away that it was for real. (Of course, when I told them, they couldn't help cracking up.)
Well, there's a first (and sometimes an immediate second) time for everything, I s'pose. Anyone else have horror stories?



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The second guy that night was of course wearing jogging pants, and had a huge case of "dicky-do".....that's when his gut sticks out farther than his dicky-do!!
He sprouted a boner, and it was of course peeking out the top of his pants.
Gross!
omg, that cracks me up so hard, Sinder. dicky-do. 
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