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Thread: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    Argh... I've really gotten myself in a bind here.

    Ok, several months ago I had a customer that was traveling from Canada spend about $3000 on me in VIP area over the course of two days. He's a sweet, nerdy, geeky, rich guy with a failing marriage and two bratty kids. Anyway, I had some sympathy for him and he was so gracious with his money; so I gave him my "professional" email address and told him I would stay in touch. Within two of his return to Canada he sent me a $2000 check to my P.O. Box. He asked me to spend some money on myself and put the rest into my daughter's education fund. He thinks I'm a single mom, but I'm not...I'm very happily married.

    Ok, here's the sticky. He's wanting to come back to Phoenix next weekend just to see me. So, I emailed him and told him that I would love to visit him and I was working both Fri & Sat night and we could spend the entire evening together in VIP. He replies that he has no problem staying inside the club, but hates that so much of the money in VIP goes to the club and not to me. He would rather have his money go directly to me if he is spending it. So he offered to spend one night doing VIP and suggested maybe Saturday taking me and my daughter to the mall for a shopping spree. I'm thinking this sounds pretty good but this is definately breaking my OTC rule.

    I don't think he has any expectations of sex but I do presume that he thinks there is a chance of some type of relationship with me. I really, really don't know what to do! Should I be honest and tell him I am married and lose the opportunity for this type of regular custy? Or should I go along with it until it gets to be way too much to handle?




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  2. #2
    Tart
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    agh! Its strange that all the guys that spend this sort of money say the same thing about not wanting to spend it and us not get all of it.

    But here's the deal., I dont' know how old your daughter is, but if she's old enough to talk.. i mean.. that can't be good.

    I would see how that night goes in the VIP first before you commit. Make sure you aren't getting any weird vibes from the guy. I would meet him at the mall., ( if you do ., do this ) and do tell your husband. This way you aren't keeping any secrets etc. And by all means do not go anywhere in this guys car.....

    Im sure you won't but its easy to get caught up in a good time .

    I would also drop subtle hints in the vip room the night before about not really wanting to be in a relationship ..and stuff like that. this way if he does have it in his head., maybe it'll throw him off a bit.

    Best of luck and if you go enjoy!

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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tart

    But here's the deal., I dont' know how old your daughter is, but if she's old enough to talk.. i mean.. that can't be good.
    She is just a baby, just had here #1st bday matter of fact. I wouldn't bring her along anyway. No way would I ever involve her in business matters.

    See that is the thing, if I do go along shopping with him... I would see it more along the lines as "escorting" him. I'm certainly not there to enjoy myself.

    Oh, and by all means I would tell the hubby if I OTC with him. Hmm, I guess I should ask him what he thinks about all this before I make any decisions.




    "Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams...Live the Life You Have Imagined" -- Henry David Thoreau

    "You Will Be Successful in Business and Married Life" -- Fortune Cookie

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    Tart
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    yah id ask your husband..

    and i misread the part about your daughter ..I thought he wanted you to bring her with or something.. Been a long night

    I wouldn't really call it escorting ..I mean really all you are doing is going shopping. You aren't his date to anything etc etc.

    But this is such a sticky situation.

    my greedy ..denim loving self would say " dude do it and bring me back a pair of chip n' pepper"

    On the other hand., having been down that road a few times when I was niave in thinking people just wanted to spoil me..

    i'd say its not worth the damn headache. because its always too good to be true.

    I've had sugar daddies that have given my obscene amounts of money..but in time they either propose marraige ... go off the deep end... or get obsessive to the point they believe they own me.

    Im one of those people now., I just force myself to say no.

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

    You've already made $5000 off this guy without doing much. Don't get greedy or you could get hurt.

  6. #6
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    OTC meetings generally end in bad feelings or worse. I'd say count your winnings, don't get greedy and walk away from the table. (Besides, very few husbands, I'd wager, would be okay with a mate "escorting," however we define this activity.)

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    I wouldn't advise it either. I turn down all invitations and would just be happy I made so much off of one customer. He is just attempting to "buy" love/sex/affection/attention from you. If he really had no alterior motives he would "give away" his money to the humane society.
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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    hes going to continue to want more from you... that is i mean sexual activities... i wouldnt mislead him at all.. it could end up hurting your marriage.... i think you know what the "right" thing is to do.

  9. #9
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    The money may be good, but it's not worth possibly hurting you or your marriage and or family.

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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    I agree with everything everyone above has said. I guess if you wanted to get a little more money out of him, have him meet up with you ITC in the VIP room. If he keeps saying he wants to take you and your daughter shopping, tell him you don't associate your daughter with anyone or anything that has to do with the club and that includes clients. Tell him you don't want to confuse her. If he insists on then just taking you shopping, then just tell you can't go but a gift card would be appreciated and tell him your favorite stores for you and your daughter. It does always happen they end up wanting more, nothing's ever for free. If you or your husband doesn't feel comfortable at all then maybe you should cut all strings with this guy and that includes VIP time. Only you know for sure what the right thing to do is.

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    obviously, get the feelings from your husband.
    Now, I know that "if it's too good to be true, it probably is" is good advice in this business. It really is. But, this guy MIGHT be cool enough to hang with at least until you start getting bad vibes.

    If you're not comortable with OTC stuff, then tell him. I mean, you've ONLY been with him twice, so it's not outside the realm of understanding that you'd need to see him in the club a few more times before you REALLY felt comfortable. This will give you some more time to feel him out.

    And, as I've told my clients I've met OTC, there's no sex involved, I love my job and so enjoy hanging out with them, and yet they must also know that I have a no mixing business with pleasure rule. I wouldn't date a club client.

    Tell him that, because it's true, and you won't have to worry about telling him about you being married until perhaps later down the rode when you know he'd be cool with being your regular no matter what. Perhaps the NEXT time he visits, you can tell him about being in a relationship and see what he says. The few rare guys would be happy for a good relationship for you....so suss him out on that, but I would wait until after this particular visit. However, he seems like a nice guy--what regular who'd want to get into your pants would really seem to care about your kid? They'd fake interest of course, but do you get the feeling? Or does he seem to be a genuinely nice guy?

    Hugs. Good Luck!

  12. #12
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    The money will dry up.....he'll short you on the cash sooner than you expect if you take it OTC. Just say you're afraid of introducing a "new person" to your daughter....perfectly respectable.
    Not worth making your husband suspicious, either.

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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    If he wants the money to go to you instead of the club, have him pay you to sit and chat in the regular area for the whole night instead of the vip. That way you get to keep all the money and still keep it in the club. Unless you aren't allowed to chat with customers in the main area or something.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    my take: do the vip the first night, towards the end, tell him that you're really married, "I don't usually tell customers until I trust them, yada yada yada", that there's no posibility of a relationship, and if he still wants to do the shopping spree, go for it...

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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    I agree with keeping it ITC. Not every guy is wanting sex out of the deal. I had a guy pay for my nose job 5 yrs ago, and after he forked out the cash, I never saw or heard from him again. Funny thing was, I was married, and working in the casino at the time. I never had to do anything for him. He offered, I accepted. I hope your as lucky with your guy as I was with this one. Play it out, and suck his wallet dry honey!! Sooner or later, all wells dry up, enjoy it while you can!

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    Okay, I have allowed customers that I've known a while to take me shopping, but in your circumstance... no, I wouldn't. Reason: it's bullshit. I mean, we've all heard that excuse, and he is just trying to take it personal. If you and your husband are comfortable with it, you can negotiate dinner and light shopping for a fee - that is you get a set amount. But keep in mind that he is not going to want to go back to the club once you've gone OTC. So you will be negotiating for things that seem more and more like dates, and most likely for less and less money until your payment is meant to be in kind - like the free dinner is meant to make it worth your while. So I'd keep it in the club if I were you.

    BTW - how would you even begin to explain that to your kid?
    Last edited by Jenny; 07-03-2006 at 08:41 PM.
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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    I have a married friend who met a club buddy who bought her a car even though he knows she's married. He's even spoken to her husband. So he might be cool even after he knows the whole story.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    Lola I imagine the fact that he believes you to be a single mom pretty much sums it up.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    On of the girls i work with does the whole OTC thing all the time. What the customers don't know is her husband is always close by. If they go shopping then her husband follows close enough behind that he can see them but the customer can't see him...if it's out 2 dinner then her husband sits at a far table.

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkkitten
    If he wants the money to go to you instead of the club, have him pay you to sit and chat in the regular area for the whole night instead of the vip. That way you get to keep all the money and still keep it in the club. Unless you aren't allowed to chat with customers in the main area or something.

    great advice. dont mention hubby. you could use any excuse to not be available during the day

  21. #21
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by cdysgrl
    On of the girls i work with does the whole OTC thing all the time. What the customers don't know is her husband is always close by. If they go shopping then her husband follows close enough behind that he can see them but the customer can't see him...if it's out 2 dinner then her husband sits at a far table.
    That's smart if one is going to choose to go OTC with a custy.

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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    I don't think it's wise to tell him that's she's married, if she still wants to keep the money coming in. I think the reason he's offering so much (besides the obvious on wanting more eventually) is since she's a "single mom" he wants to "rescue her & her daughter".

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire
    That's smart if one is going to choose to go OTC with a custy.
    Really - to me that just seems kind of sordid.
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    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

    You've already made $5000 off this guy without doing much. Don't get greedy or you could get hurt.
    +1


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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you do an OTC in this situation!?

    ok, well just to follow up with this story....

    I did it!!! My custy came in on Friday night and dropped 1G on me for doing nothing but drinking nice red wine and occasional lap dance or two.

    He had to fly back to Canada today at 5:30 so asked if he could take me shopping for two hours...no strings attached.

    Ofcourse I went solo (sans baby and no spying husband). Here's what I got today.

    Gucci Sunglasses -- $345
    Black Calf-Skin Leather Chanel Handbag -- $2225
    New 60GB U2 Ipod and accessories -- $450
    Victoria's Secret Lingerie -- $200

    So...over $3G in merchandise for 2 hours of friendship Not such a bad deal after all.




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