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Thread: I need some help and encouragement.

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default I need some help and encouragement.

    I know this thread will encompass parts of a variety of forums... but I felt that here would be ok for them all to be here at one time? I hope so...

    I have made some of the best pals here on SW. I really have. I love you all to death and beyond. Now I ask for a favor from anyone who is willing to help.

    I want to be a better performer. All around. I find it hard for me to focus, follow through, etc... I could use a few words of encouragement from time to time, and some help with self management.

    So here's the basics...

    I want to be more alive on stage. I need to find new moves, new ideas for little moves and tricks that would catch a tipper's eye. Someday I would LOVE to learn pole tricks, but I think I need better upper body strength for that yet. But some I Dont Want Monster Arms But I Want Strong Arms tips would rock!

    I want to learn to be a real hustler. Not a cut throat, or someone who has to be fake to make a buck, but ways that I can still be the real, fun me and still get the dances!

    I want to learn how to make and save money so I can get my boob job and still be able to pay bills and have a reserve in case of an emergency.

    I need help learning how to do ANYthing with my hair!
    I heard the suggestions for curlers and curling irons... but I know NOTHING about brands, sizes, how to put them in, how long to keep them in, what to put on them to get them to stay... I have had pin straight, fine, thin boring hair for FOREVER. THis is all new to me. The most I used to do was Aqua Net a teased up fence in the front of my hair ala 1980s hair bands! Oi!!!

    Should I keep going with my Not Goth But Not Very Soft make up colors? I can post examples of what I usually do if you like... Should I try the more mainstream looks? Maybe go for more If I Had A Playboy's Make Up Artist kinda look?

    Shoud I try new styles of clothing on stage? I can show you things I have and things that are similar....

    Basically, I need help keeping me on track, motivated, and learning how to do these things. You all would be my heros!




    Heh... now I heel kinda stupid but... oh hell. I'll post this!
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    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    As for hustling, the best advice I can give you there is to take something (anything) from hustle hut and try it out... if it doesn't work for you or you don't feel comfortable with it.. try something else... keep trying until you do find a script that works for you.

    Sometimes asking for a dance doesn't work. Make a statement instead of a question: Let's go for a dance (have some fun/etc), right now. Instead of "Are you ready for that dance (to have some fun/etc) right now?"

    Learning new stage moves... oh.. ah... unfortunately there's only variations on the same theme as such! LOL! Buy a DVD or three that showcases a stripper competition (you can then re-sell it somewhere if you so desire) so that you can possibly pick up a move or two from them. That's how I basically have learnt: thru osmosis (thru watching heaps and heaps of girls perform).

    Pole tricks aren't everything. Just learn a few basic tricks so that you are occupied on the stage and your show has variety. Just that there really isn't (as far as I'm concerned and from what I have seen) any real money in performing pole tricks. Learning them only pays off in re: stripper competitions, pole dancing competitions and if your club has alot of female customers (usually hetrosexual ones at that.. they're "impressed" by it).

    In re: your hair.. I've had the same long thick hair for two years now. I wouldn't know how to do anything to it other than brush it and put it in a pony tail or two! I don't even know how to plait it! lol! I'm hopeless... I must admit that I wouldn't mind learning how to curl the bottom of it so that the bottom half (at least) would have a nice wave-y look to it. I've always thought I looked best with that part wave-y.

    BTW, please do post pictures as it will indeed be of assistance.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    A suggestion to be more alive on stage would be to change up your music and get a new custume that always revived me. You are beautiful and you are sure to meet you goles. Good luck.

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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Have pmed you hon, x



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

    Life is movement, movement is life.
    To live is to move, to move is to be alive.
    - Mirka Knaster


    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    "tampons are proof that God exsists."

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    As for your make-up...you need to change it up a bit. Especially if you've been dancing for a long time. The same look is boring. Have fun. Your make-up should accentuate you, not hide you. If you do Goth alot, then 1 or 2 nights, switch to glamour/Playboy/Porn Star, etc. If you need help with this, let me know. As for your hair, if you have pin straight hair, it'll be very hard to keep curls in it (especially if it's long). Pull your hair up and curl the ends for cascades. If you like it down, then have it layered lightly. Shorter hair holds curls better than longer hair. Different curlers give different curls. The only thing I can say at this point is to buy something and play with it. Generally, smaller rollers/rods/barrels give tighter curls. The larger you go, the looser/wavier the curl with be. It's all dependant on what you want.

    I agree with GCG to go try the stuff in Hustle Hut. It's got a lot of great stuff in there...and the bigger your war chest is, the more opportunities you give yourself to get a dance. Using the same method, etc all the time only gets you limited results.

    Good luck!

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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    As for having some fun on stage, bring some music that you like and ask the dj to play it. It makes a huge difference for me. If I like the music, I look happy and sexy, which makes guys want to get dances more. To learn either pole tricks or new stuff, stay after work or go in before and practice.

    As for your hair, maybe get a light perm?

  7. #7
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Don't fight your natural look. Wear what you're comfortable in, and work WITH your hair and natural features.

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    Veteran Member danijamesxxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Oh God, I am going to get chased out for writing this probably. But when you go to work, you're playing a part, right? Like...when I get to work, I leave Meg, the insano random noises making girl at the door, and become Dani James. It's a compleate transformation, and you should have fun with it!! I would definitely suggest stepping out of your comfort zone. I know everyone is probably going to get mad, and say, "You shouldn't have to change etc.." but it's part of the job! I wouldn't walk around OTC in my stripper clothes and makeup, just like I wouldn't go in, looking like everyday photographer Meg. Have you ever thought of cutting your hair a tiny bit, or layering it? It's really hard to do a lot with long hair, unless you like lots of updo's and curling it. With some layers you could have some fun with it, flip parts out, highlight little chunks, whatever. Sometimes we need change. It's not bad, it is scary though! Just think how confident you might be if you went out and did something wonderful for yourself. Whether it be a hair cut/style, tanning, nails, new outfits/shoes ,new look? You'd bank. Confidence is key miss Paige.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Ok I said I'd post example pics, so I'll start with my more common makeup...











    Ill put in more later so this one single post isnt huge... For eyeshadows I use (usually) golds, reds, coppers, black.... warm colors most of the time. I've been known to use white, or even pink! Depends on what I'm wearing. Lipsticks are usually reds, since clear glosses tend to make me look VERY washed out since Im pale...

    I shall browse Hustle Hut asap! I figured I should, but hey, reassurement is why Im here in this post! Gracias...

    I dont really... act... when I work. Im still the fun, slightly silly, cheesecake me that I really always am. I try not to bring the moody me, which can be hard, but I do try... so in that light I guess I do act a lil...
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
    *******************************

    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    More examples on the makeup:







    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
    *******************************

    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

  11. #11
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
    *******************************

    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Ok, I dont see any problem with any of your costumes. You have a really nice selection and a wide variety, infact, I have a couple of the same costumes so in my opinion you have great taste

    You have a gorgeous face with great bones and in some of the pics your make up is really nice. I like the pics of you with gold and brown eye shadow in the last pic and I think in the 3rd last. The only thing I would say is that the red lipstick and smokey eye look can be quite ageing as it makes you look a bit harsh. Ive found that girls that rely too heavily on the goth look can be quite intimidating to customes so maybe try and soften it a bit. Red lipstick does suit you but maybe dont wear it with such heavy eye make up. I really love the 40s pin up girl look and I think it would really work for you. How about wearing red lipstick with black "winged out" liquid eyeliner and maybe a cute beauty mark somewhere around your cheekbone, a sorta Betty Paige/Dita look?

    Also, you would definately suit some more body in your hair. The easiest way to do this is with heated or velcro rollers. Theyre not expensive to buy and the easiest to use after some practice. Let me know if you need help with what to buy. Maybe you could think about some layers round the front to encourage some volume and movement? Not sure how you would feel about getting some highlights too? Not bleach blonde ones but maybe just a few around your face, just a few shades lighter than the colour you have now, I think this would make your look a bit softer as dark monotone hair can be quite harsh and also ageing under the stage lights,( NB. please dont think Im saying you look old as you dont at all, all Im saying is that under stage lights your dark hair might look a bit harsh.)

    Hope this helps hon, pm and let me know if you need any help with anything Ive said,



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

    Life is movement, movement is life.
    To live is to move, to move is to be alive.
    - Mirka Knaster


    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    "tampons are proof that God exsists."

  13. #13
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    I just wanted to add Paige- the velcro rollers is a good idea. I just started using them, and it was tricky at first, but I got the hang of it. If I can do it, you can too

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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Quote Originally Posted by PaigeDWinter
    I want to be a better performer. All around. I find it hard for me to focus, follow through, etc... I want to be more alive on stage...I want to learn to be a real hustler.
    Paige: the customers POV....

    Firstly, nothing wrong with your appearance - you're a pretty girl. You don't need a boob job either - I seem to recall some photos of yours in the pictures forum that were rather pleasing.

    Next, nothing wrong with looking for better costumes, make-up, hairstyle, etc., but I think the main benefit to you will be in your confidence. I've always felt that confident dancers earn better than ones with a little self doubt because they come across to us customers as more likely to give a good/erotic dance.

    As far as dance skills go, being alive on stage is important, but possibly for slightly different reasons than the ones you realise. Again, it comes down to the fact us custy's have slightly different motivations that you realise. Reduced to its most simplistic, we like to think you're enjoying dancing for us.

    A dance with a significant eroticism content, (and I don't mean explicit), is liable to convince us that the eroticism is going to carry through into any subsequent private dances. A dance by the numbers is going to have the opposite effect.

    It's not so much the moves as making plenty of eye contact and smiling so that individual customers think you like the attention they're focussing on you.

    As for hustling, read people skills. Motivations for coming into a SC vary. Somes guys will be after mileage, some will have 'date the dancer syndrome', some will be lonely, some will come in looking for a bit of escapism. It's a case of focussing on what the customers mindset is, and behaving accordingly, (mileage hounds excepted).

    The common denominator in each case it that we want to think you like us. Learning to convey that impression is the most important hustling skill you can have. It's a case of simple things like remembering our name, flirting a little and having a conversation about things we're interested in.

    Forget consciously hustling - conveying the impression that your only motivation is $$$'s is an immediate turn-off. Don't hustle - learn "people skills". Make us believe you 'like' us, (whatever your private thoughts are).

    Finally, and above all - learn to see things a little though a customers eyes. A lot of your information on customer's thinking will have come from other dancers. Guys are notoriosly bad at understanding a dancers real motivations - the reverse is also true to some degree.

    Understand our POV, and you can learn to behave in a way that'll maximise the number of dances you get.

    Phil.

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    since i know you personally i know some of the mistakes you are making. ( you asked dont get mad)
    if ya want to chat give me a call. you make up is fine. i might go with some longer dresses the classy route. like in some of those pictures

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    I agree... your make up could be tweaked, but it comes down to presence, charisma, and sales, which don't have a lot to do with make up.

    Are you talking to every customer? Tell them to come up and see you on stage. Then once you're there, smile smile smile and make tons of eye contact while you move slowly and seductively. When you talk to customers, just talk until you feel a connection, then say, "I want to dance for you now." If there's no connection after a couple songs, try it anyways. Then move on to the next.



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    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Do not underestimate the power of smiling

    You have lips that girls would pay big money for don't be afraid to use those things (showing off the teeth, not sucking, you pervs)

    -E
    hilarious signature

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    Veteran Member bella du jour's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    You have big beautiful eyes!

    Unfortunately the dark makeup and severe look does make you look a bit older. If you want to fool around with a different look i would soften things a bit and go for a slightly younger more playful look. Maybe some pink blush on the apples of your cheeks. It's not very goth, but it will soften your looks and give you a slightly more flirtatious, girly look. Taking it a step further, you could lose the dark liner under your eyes and try using a shiny pearl/light pink color on the inside corners of your eyes to give yourself a dewey look. Keep the red lipstick, maybe a bright poppy color. Orangish reds give a really awesome kick to the black hair.

    But seriously, you have a beautiful smile




    All about my boobs...

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    since everyone else covered the tips, i'll just say this: try new things, experiment with your look, but don't lose yourself. i'm not as "alternative" at work as i am on the street or hanging out at a club, but i also try to stay "myself". if you try to force a mainstream look upon yourself (i tried for maybe 3 days) it's going to make you feel uncomfortable and akward. it's the same as a "mainstream" looking girl trying to dress goth. play with different styles, but make them your own. sometimes just a necklace added to something really "normal" will help you feel more like yourself. i find that it helps me emotionally in the long run. it sucks to look in the mirror and think "this isn't me". granted, money is hella important and i wouldn't keep doing something that doesn't "work". i'm just sayin... make sure YOU like the way you look before you hit the floor.

  20. #20
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    i just wanna add my 2 cents...

    i feel that i am a good performer because of my presence. presence has so much to do with it i think. when you walk out onto the floor, hold your head high, keep your eyes bright and open, and give every customer the biggest brightest smile you possibly can. leave all your worries at home. bring this confidence to the stage also. you have a great look. like myself, your face is probably your best quality so bring attention to it!

    basically, and i dont mean to repeat what is said all the time on this forum, but its the truth- how you present yourself is soo important!

    as for your make up, i think you should play up an exotic look, because you already kind of have that. maybe play around with some more eye liner and some make up more on the shimmery side. i find that a little bit of shimmer or glitter above my eyes and on my cheekbones gets attention (not on chest or shoulders because it will get on the customer!).

    someone else already said it already, but maybe you should try a light perm in your hair and like red highlights or something. maybe try temporary colors until you find one you want to be permanent. i think a body wave would look good on you. and i dont know how you feel about putting decorations in your hair, but look at these.... http://www1.odn.ne.jp/maya/english/enknshop.htm
    i could see you with wavy hair, some of it up, with one of these ornaments in your hair with an exotic outfit.

    hope i helped and good luck!

  21. #21
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Velvet!!! My hero of heros! Are you dancing in Jax tomorrow? I should be working till close at Lidos... and I should be home and awake till at least 4 or 5am... if you wanna give me a call whenever you're not busy? *luv*


    I found a "Playboy look" I think I might try out (make up-wise that is)... whatcha think?





    Smokey but not too dramatic eyes, and what? A lipstick that is similar to my natural lip color but a shade or two darker? Yis? No way? Ew? Bananas?

    And once I get curlers and learn how the #%$^@$%#! to use them and what hairspray/glue/tar I am gonna nead to keep em in place, I want my hair to do this:

    http://www.glam0ur.com/gals/christa_...icole_019.html

    I put in the url cause its a BEEEEEG NWS pic LOL....
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
    *******************************

    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

  22. #22
    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Sounds like the other ladies came up with some good tips already. I hope you get your mojo back, I know it sucks when you feel you're in a rut. There's nothing like a makeover (internal or external) to start feeling like a rockstar again.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    On Oprah yesterday (I think it was a re-run) she had a lady on teaching pole dancing lessons. I first I thought what is this bitch on Oprah going to know about pole-dancing but she was actually really good and sensual. Pilates is also good for making you more flexible and building core strength.

    You don't have to be "cut throat" to be a good hustler. Just make sure you talk to pretty much everyone that walks through that door. You never know who has the cash and it only takes one man to make your night. But don't sit for too long (10 minutes at the most unless he is giving you money), keep moving along and always pretend as though you are busy.

    I wasn't the best at saving money when I danced so I may not be the best advisor there. But now that I look back on it I could have easily saved 3k per month for three of the four years I danced. IF I would have saved that much money I would have over 100k in the bank right now.

    You do a great job with the extensions. I would suggest buying some human hair extensions and adding some length and volume to your hair then perhaps getting some layers to draw more attention to your face.

    Yes, go for the glamour look, in my experience that attracts the money.

    Yes, try some new colors or new styles and see what works best for you. Everybody typically has their own style that does well for them.

  24. #24
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    Holy Shit,Paige. I thought that Playboy chick WAS you. You gotta try that look. You'd be scrumptious--not that you aren't now, but you'd be model hot! Use an apricot or peach lipstick. Use pink or tangerine nail polish and definately put a wave or curl into your mane. Check out makeup 411for step-by-step instructions. www.makeup411.com/beauty_breakdown/BB_RenaSopher.htm Rena has a good look too. Change your costume collection to softer pastels--don't gag, that's right I said PASTELS. A tangerine, peach bikini would be hot! Trust me, I have girls at work begging me to design and sew costumes for them. Of course I won't because then I wouldn't stand out! Go for flirty elegance, meaning short dresses and skirts with movement. Happy banking!!!
    Last edited by Optimist; 07-08-2006 at 08:44 AM.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: I need some help and encouragement.

    I love that makeup look, definitely try it, you'd be surprised at how much a warm peachy/pink lipstick can keep you from looking washed out. If it's too much, add a pinky blush or even brush bronzer on your face.

    I don't have many tips as I think you're already hot Except this, be excited to go to work. Even when you're not. Make up a reason if you have to. 'if i work tonight i can get my nails done tomorrow, or buy rollers, or whatever!' Or, turn it into a game. Figure out what it is that you 'waste' your time doing at work. (dressing room time, at the bar, smoking, chatting with other girls, whatever). And then make yourself talk to a certain number of people before you can do that. Or, only allow yourself to do that every hour, or two hours, that way you will HAVE to find something to do in between. (hopefully getting dances!)

    Post more pics once you try out that new makeup hair, its' hot!
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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