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Thread: Moms

  1. #1
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Moms

    I'm being harrassed... by my MOTHER! I'm the oldest child... my sister and one of my brothers left for college last year and the last one's leaving in august or september or something. I'm living on my own about 30 minutes away. She is seriously getting on my last nerve! I knoooowww she just misses me, but DUDE! She calls EVERY morning really early! I don't have an answering machine because when I first moved out (then I moved back in and then I moved out again) she would leave messages galore... really long ones... about nothing. After hearing like half of it, I deleted it and didn't feel like calling her. Eventually, my family would start calling me to tell me to call her because she kept ranting about it and they were tired of hearing about it. Omg, she's calling again. - No that was my sister... We hatched a plan to finally get me out of going to Berkley with my mom... it worked but I feel like a bad daughter. I could definately use some stories from you folks right about now. Please tell me I'm not the only one!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Moms

    She needs to get out and make some friends. Maybe you should encourage her to sign up for some classes or something. It would be better for her, too.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moms

    you are not the only one trust me. i have my phone set to ring only 3 times becuse she woukld let it ring and ring. i can add more to this when i put my son down.

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    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moms

    I had to train my mother to knock that off, so she latched onto my wife instead.

  5. #5
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moms

    Haha.

    How do I set my phone to do that? Ring only three times, that is.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Moms

    You think this is bad? Wait until your last sibling moves out!!

    I was the last sibling in my case so yes I can relate. Every time I go home, its like I'm twelve again. Every time I call her, and my Dad isn't there, what should be a two minute conversation turns out to be a half hour rant about my Dad or my other siblings along the lines of "was I a good mother?"
    And yes it can get annoying, particularly when its the same damned conversation every frigging time.

    But truth be told, there's a lot of young people out there who can only wish that they had a parent that concerned about them. While I suggest having a talk with her about respecting your space, realize there will one day be a time (but not for many years down the road hopefully) when she's not going to be there to nag you anymore, and when that time comes you will miss her.

    So, enjoy the perks of her "stalking" you while you can. It wouldn't hurt to call her every so often.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moms

    ahhh i liked your post doc. I got my phone down to 3 rings threw my phone company see if yours will do that for you.

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    Default Re: Moms

    Doc-Catfish has come good points there. I do find that if I call once and again I can usually reduce the talk time. Hey, at least she cares. Maybe pop in every now and again as well? I found when they were not half a world away, if we popped in, the calls were more like once a week, rather than once a day.

    My Mom is always bored with the one horse town my father moved her to, when they retired. About the only good things are that it is hot and flat. Usually I have 2 calls a week, 45 minutes, and if I'm lucky my son is around. Now that he can communicate, he has great fun talking to her.

    A long time ago either my mother learnt when not to call early or maybe I said something don't remember. I do know she has figured out what I sound like before my fist cup of coffee, so she usually tries to call later.

    I like the idea Yekhefah had to get her out, or a hobby. This would really help my mom, but like I said above she is still pissed at dad for moving her to a small one horse town.... yada yada yada.

    I'm not going to share some of the things I've had to do to get her off the phone, but the best one is acting or being busy. Pots banging, letting her know I’m cooking breakfast, or making coffee.

    Actually it is weird that I have talked to my father more since they moved away than before. Well not really talked, instant messaged. Cracks me up that we send so many messages, but when we lived about 15 minutes down the road we barely talked. I just have to be careful what I type, one time I was talking to him and a friend and mixed up their messages. Nothing bad, but some explaining was required. I think I was talking creating hydrogen reactions.


    lunchbox: Mercy on your wife's soul, if my mother can't get me, you can guess who she calls at work.
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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moms

    Does she have internet? My mom has discovered the joy of email and web forums, and even though we do talk about an hour a week, we communicate daily with email. She has her online friends now hat she shares jokes and stories with, and her internet activity has prompted her to be more active in other aspects of her life.

    She is now in a class to learn how to buy and sell stuff on eBay, and she has started a yahoo group for other people who go to her church.

    I was getting a lot of phone calls from her after my brother met his fiance (he's now married). My brother used to call/visit my mom a lot more than me, but now he has a wife (and a life) so the trips to visit mom are a lot less frequent. It is kind of funny because I can definatly detect my mom's jealousy over my sis-in-law.


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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moms

    I second the email thing. But honestly, she needs to stop calling that early. How do you do this? Tell her that you won't answer the phone unless she calles after x time (whether that be 9 am, 11am, or even 3 pm.) Tell her that you're getting angry, and that while you love her and want to talk to her, you cannot put up with having someone eff with your sleep. I know you'd hate to do this to your dad, but I'd warn her off with telling her you'd call her in the middle of her sleeping time a week in a row just to get the point of how unpleasant that is. You don't want to chat because YOU'RE SLEEPING.

    The other stuff is annoying, but you'll need to address that second. Classes are good, as is a new gym membership.

    or try this: Reward the good behavior and ignore the bad. Your phone should have a ringer setting: hi, low, and off. When you go to bed, turn the ringer off- you'll only need to do this for a week or two....but make sure you give your mom the head's up: you are NOT to call anymore before X time.

    When she calls you in the afternoon, act HAPPY to hear from her. You are POSITIVELY DELIGHTED to hear from her after such a GREAT NIGHT'S sleep. Rave all about what great sleep you've FINALLY been getting, and then talk about what's going on in her life.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Moms

    Following on from my bedrooms are for intamcy thing, and to up the ante here. I do not have a phone in the bedroom. Works wonders, and if it is important, the phone will ring off the hook and wake you up. I also set the mobile for silent at night.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  12. #12
    Veteran Member NoCoverLover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moms

    I can't imagine having my mother call me every day! I'd go crazy!

    Both of my sisters still live with my parents, so I don't suffer from empty-nest syndrome, not yet anyway...

    Helping her find a hobby seems like it would be time well spent. Getting her onto the internet sounds like it would be a good thing too.

    Good luck!

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Moms

    Internet = typing course. I know that is 1/2 reason my mom is not on. Maybe once I get where I want to I'll get her a cute little mac, and a training course to go with it, and some tutalage from me on what to stay away from.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Moms

    Wow I WISH I had that problem. We all email. I see them (my dad and step mum) once a year at Christmas ... and it's awkward! Thank your lucky stars that you can actuall talk with your mother... whilst my actual mother has passed on from this life (since early 1999)... I don't really know my step-mum so it is a little difficult. Ever since I came out to them what I am really doing to earn a crust (instead of lying to them like I was for over a year) it hasn't been the same... definately estranged. I hardly know them anymore.

    My younger brother is the only family (yes only family) that I keep in decent contact with...


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    Default Re: Moms

    If you have a cell, try setting her number on silent ringer. When she calls real early, you won't hear it ring and u can call her back when you're up. I set some of my annoying customer's numbers on that.

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    Veteran Member pinupgurl2k6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moms

    Don't feel bad, for awhile if I didn't answer my phone, my Mother would drive to my house.. what a shock she got one day..
    He He He I will go to my grave laughing at the look on her face.. Did I mention she didn't think twice about just walking
    in without knocking.... Mu ha ha ha

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Moms

    Man don't know how many times mom just barged in and busted, sex after work, sex in the morning... oy If the door is closed knock.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Moms

    My Mom has never been like this we keep in touch via e-mail during the week and I usually call her on the weekends to see how she is . She knows what time to call and if I had a problem with the times she did I would let her know about it . We get along real well and she respects my space . Just let your Mom know whats a good time to call .

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