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Thread: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

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    Newbie sirap03's Avatar
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    Sad How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    So I have an audition today. Truth is... I'm out of $$$ and desperate because I hate asking my parents or my bf for money.

    Anyway... I do have a bartender certificate so I was thinking I could just tell them I got a job as a bartender from 7 to 2 am. You guys don't know my parents. I had to quit my last job as a bartender because my dad did not like the ppl and the place I was working with. Also my bf is an old-fashioned southern boy who wants to marry me... But I need the money... I just can't get this gulty feeling out of me head.

    Oh also... I don't have a car so I'll prob. have to go in bike... next to a high way...

    Should i go to the audition??? I'm so nernous

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    I don't think you should hide it from your boyfriend. Talk to him and see if you can work something out. I kept dancing from my mom until I stopped, and honestly, I think that was best. A lot of girls tell their parents that they are waitresses or bartenders to explain their late work nights.AND DON'T GO ON A BIKE! no freaking way. Call a cab if you don't have a car. That is nowhere anything remotely close to safe.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    To me it sounds like you are unsure yourself about dancing I honesetly don't think it sounds like something that would be good for you right now. tread carefully don't throw your life away. How old are you?

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    Veteran Member alenadowns's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    Informing your partner is a necessity! Informing your family is not!

    If you are just starting..make sure this is what you are going to be doing before you go telling your family! As stated above...dont throw your life away as you know it!

    I don't care how understanding parents are...they are not understanding enough for this!

    Your best bet is to wait a year...by that time you may not even be dancing anymore! If you are still dancing then you have some backing when you tell them.

    You can prove that you have made it this far in the business and have not become screwed up! You can prove that you are making a decent income and supporting yourself accordingly! If you have proof, it is easier to justify.

    I kept it from my parents for almost 10 years. My ex husband delivered my poster to my father. After almost 10 years of dancing...he still did not speak to me for almost a year!

    Until you decide what you are going to do...just tell them you are working as a personal services contractor..you may need to travel for your job. You run your own business, and are doing well!!

    Good luck!

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    Veteran Member SexyGemini's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    I would tell your boyfriend before you go and do it. Partners shouldn't keep secrets from each other.

    I'd advise that you do not tell your family. I doubt they would understand and I think it might cause more problems than not.
    I comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.

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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    Why not just look into bartending at a strip club, if that's what you're already experienced at and comfortable doing? The money is comparable, you get a small salary if tips are bad, and you wouldn't have to hide anything from anyone (except probably your dad).

    I'd look into it before blindly going into a dancing job. It doesn't sound like you're really that stoked on doing it anyway.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    I agree with all the posters above. Ifnyou tell your man play up the fact of it being a bikini bar if it is (I hope I hope). Go-go would be a little easier to explain since you're wearing the same thing you would right now to the beach!! And if he doesn't 'understand' you may have to decide what you want most. If it's him, have an honest talk about your financial situation so you can work on a solution you both can live with. Good luck.

    BTW that's a hot shot alenadowns!

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    the other girls are right. you've got to tell your bf. no need to tell the parents.

    and DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT take a bike.

    if you do end up dancing you will quickly understand why that is so dangerous. you've got to be VERY careful going home in your car or cab. leaving on a bike is basically begging to be raped and cut up into small pieces, which will be found three years later by a small child digging for dinosaur bones in his backyard.

    sorry for the disturbing image, but i really cannot stress enough how careful you need to be at a job like this.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    Quote Originally Posted by sirap03
    But I need the money... I just can't get this gulty feeling out of me head.

    Should i go to the audition??? I'm so nernous
    Nooooooo!!! Don't do it!

    I've seen women in your position before and they usually end up alcoholics or drug addicted just to get through the shift. The idea is just some drinks to losen up, or just a little meth or crank to feel prettier and more confident, then before you know it, you are doing extras just to pay for your alcohol and/or drugs.

    If you feel guilty now, how do you think you'll feel in 3 years from now without any family support?

    If you can't walk into the club at least optimistic that you will *reasonably* enjoy this job, I'd say stay away.

    Stripping is NOT the only way to earn a living. Look inside yourself and see what you really want to be doing. Then do something that you can live with, not something you will potentially regret the rest of your life!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    Ok, so I cant comment on the bf situation because I am getting ready to audition and I am not telling my bf, he would freak. I am in the same situation as you with the parents though, I am getting ready to go off to college next semester and needed a job where i can work nights and still pay my rent... if my parents knew they would kill me. I dont get any financial support from them but I would be dead none the less. If you dont think they are going to handle it well.. I wouldnt tell them. Some things they just dont need to know. HOWEVER you should tell someone just in case something was to happen to you. Also, DO NOT TAKE A BIKE i am sorry hun but thats just being dumb. Go to the audition see what happens and let me know good luck! what are you wearing?

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    Member Lyserød's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your family??? I'm so scared

    I don't ever plan on telling my parents. They don't need to know that. But of course my boyfriend knows; I think it's VERY important that you tell him.

    And I also want to emphasize, please please please do NOT ride your bike back and forth! It's already been explained why but... just don't! D:

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