[FONT=Tahoma]This is a terrible intro post, I am usually just a reader here, but something's been on my mind lately that I have no one to talk to about...some of you will be able to relate to, and some of you might look down on me for even being in this situation...here goes. I have been dancing for alittle over a year now...I've saved up some cash, and planned on working this summer until fall to resume school and just focus on that. I started out working at regular clean stripclubs with no touching rules,but in the area I live in lapdances went down to $5-10 all the time and it's harder then ever to make money with the lack of guys and overabundance of girls working there, and I don't think I'm exaggerating.
I started working in SF recently to see what the money would be like, at a wellknown club where my average is (no joke) over $1000 a night and it's almost always booming with business men customers... Of course, the income increase is amazing and I love the money but it's burning me out faster then ever before and I'm starting to feel really down on myself and on men more then ever, because(too good to be true), this place allows heavy touching in lapdances(lapdances range from $40-60 for clothed or topless on the main floor,girls set prices) and extras are allowed in private rooms(which is totally up to the dancer's discretion, so you could go as far from giving a nude dance for $120(with him being able to touch your breasts and ass), to doing whatever else for any rate you set if the guy is willing to buy)...it's not easy to get by not doing atleast handjobs here because the stage fee is so high(because they know we make alot of money there, plus it's well known that any girl who can't make payout will be canned after the 2nd time doing it). There are girls that make way more then me since they are openly doing anything and everything with customers, I am limited in what I will do with them(not that I haven't considered doing more, I am just afraid of a few things about it).. the girls at this club, on average are goodlooking(esp for how nasty this place gets), and alot of them do coke openly and are all out escorts on the side and hookers at work and don't seem to care.
I thought I could handle it and I thought since I only planned on being there for sucha short term that maybe if I ended up doing more, I could block it out and move on with my life after I'm done working here for the summer, but it's gotten to me...I have no friends at work and there is always pressure to do more, especially on a few nights where it semt like I wouldn't be making profit after paying the high stage fee to work there. This is a club for hustlers who will do whatever it takes to get the money...It's funny how I thought I could handle it for just a little bit just to make alot of quick cash...but I feel like I'm lying to people and damaging myself(I never really felt BAD about stripping before I came to this club). Another thing that really irks me about this, is there are a few once-in-awhile customers who just give me the willies with their dirty talk or bad vibes they give me and the having guys pinch or stroke your nipples during lapdances can drive you insane after awhile(it gets painfully sensitive), although for the most part the customers here are above average since they are generally richer well-educated men who don't mind throwing around money(alot of them claim to be business travellers,and dont have time for relationships), so it isn't ALL creeps, but those who are really make the job excruciating at times... plus, there's been a couple of days I had to work there(there is a strict schedule there) and I was on my period and couldn't stand having guys groping me and those were some terrible nights. once in a blue moon, there will be some aggressive guy who go in there making you feel very uncomfortable or degraded(saying they will only give you money if you do something you dont want to and justifying it by saying that you work at a whore house anyway kind of thing)... Plus, there is a wellknown website where the customers review the "dancers" and write summaries on their experiences with them(sometimes explicit reports about a handjob or whatever that they got and they rate the girl's looks and "service") and it creeps me out reading what they have to say about the women who work there. (some people on this board, especially SF dancers will know what club and what review website I am refering too just by this description, since this particular SF stripclub is one of the last real, openly-allowing extras SCs)...
This is so hard, because as much as I hate it, the amount of money I'm making is the most I've ever made consistently and it's a huge improvement for me, I have this fantasy of just sticking it out to make $80grand or so and investing in a house or something(I haven't been wasting the money away, because I always think about what grimey assholes I have to allow touching me in order to make that money)... What would any of you do in this situation?? and have any of you tried to focus solely on school after saving up with your SC earnings or switched to a "regular job" after awhile of stripping??
It's a strange transition and harder then I thought...especially getting back on track with school considering I am so confused about what I want to do with the rest of my life(one of the main reasons I got into stripping, to make money until I could figure out what I wanted to do in school).... Thanks for letting me vent, to anyone who actually read that novel I just wrote!...I am just in dire need of being related to right now or maybe some advice since I'm so isolated and unable to explain this situation to my friends/family. Any feedback is welcome at this point, I'm very confused about what I will do after this,etc.... (p.s. my paragraph break codes weren't working hence the larges spaces in between paragraphs)[SIZE=3]
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