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Thread: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

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    Angry What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Warning- some high elements of drama, but I would like to get your take/advice on the situation.

    So today I come into work, and there are girls running back into the dressing room yelling/jumping around about how some customer is giving out hundred dollar bills. This goes on for awhile, several girls are talking about how he's giving out 100's 20's etc.

    Eventually I asked one of them if they would mind if I sat with them. She said that probably wouldnt be a good idea, since he wouldnt want me to, saying he picks his girls. I said ok, that's cool. Perfectly understandable. Another one of the girls talking about the guy was a sweet girl who I've always been cool with. I asked her who the customer was, out of curiousity, since I didnt intend on going over there unless he asked me to. She said to me that I should watch where she would be sitting because she'd be sitting with him. I told her that I couldnt come over there because of what the first girl had said (that he wouldnt want me to) and she said "You never know baby", basically encouraging me to find out if he wanted me over there.

    Anyway, I still didnt feel comfortable going over there without being asked by the customer, so I didnt. The only time I interacted with him at all was when I was going around the bar for tips.

    And that was the end of it. Or so I thought.

    I saw the girl who had been encouraging me a couple of times throughout the night, as we passed on stage (since I was after her on the rotation). I told her she smelled wonderful and asked what her perfume was and she said thankyou. The second time she called me "Sexy thang" and I laughed and smiled. This is how we usually interact.

    Later in the night I saw her in the dressing room getting ready to leave, and I asked her if she was alright and she said she was. And I told her to tell me if she needed anything.

    Then she says to me "I'm quitting even as we speak but I want to tell you something- you get your own customers. Dont ask who I'm sitting with and try to take other peoples customers. Make your own money" etc. At first I thought she was talking about/to another girl through me (you know, speaking loud enough for another person to obviously overhear), but then I realized she was talking about me!

    I was SO surprised to hear this coming from her since she is usually so sweet! I told her I didnt know what she was talking about, but she just got louder and more aggressive (keep in mind this was in front of a whole dressing room of girls and she was being very confrontational). The whole thing escalated from there, she started yelling, I was yelling that this was bullshit, I never went near her customer etc.

    Other girls started saying shit like "Dont let that little girl get to you" (I'm 19) and "I woulda killed that bitch" etc. The girl who originally was yelling at me started calling me a bitch, yelling to the bouncers who had come into the room that I "have done this to many girls" and "have been doing this since I got here".

    As the drama went on, her accusations got worse. She was saying that I went sneaking around behind her back trying to steal her customers, saying that every time a customer tipped her a five (come on!! a fucking five?!) or twenty that I would ask who he was and try to sit with him, and even that I fucking "follow her around all the time"

    !!!!! The only time I ever even interact with this girl is in the dressing room or on stage. I NEVER even see her on the floor. I've never even sat with a customer or group of customers with her, let alone follow her around!

    ::sigh:: The thing that makes this even worse is-

    a) that there have been rumors floating around for weeks that I steal people's
    customers!

    b) this is the sweetest girl in the club who never makes trouble with anyone and never yells at anyone either. So NO one would take my word over hers. Plus she's been there longer than I have. She even threw that in my face as she was yelling, saying "I've been here a year you've only been here a month".

    I can hardly even blame other people for believing her over me because I would have never expected her to go off like that or make shit up or start drama for no reason. I am still stunned and so confused as to what her motivation was.

    Granted, she was drunk and obviously upset about something else since she was in the process of 'quitting' and storming out ealry when this all happened.

    I started crying for the first time there, because though this has happened before with meaner, cattier girls, this was someone who I thought I was cool with, and who I liked, so it got to me.

    I'm pretty sure I'm going to be leaving this club now. I'm not even sure I want to go back in tomorrow.

    What do you make of all this? Did I do something wrong?

    Keep in mind, I am new, young, and make more money than almost anyone else in the club. I do more dances than almost anyone else, and they give me amazing shifts without my even asking. There is plenty of reason for jealousy. But I dont believe that gives them an excuse for conspiring against me behind my back to give me an awful reputation.

    Should I go back, or should I move on to a new (yet much more inconveniently located) club?

    Also, this incident shook me so much that I ended up crying in the bathroom and leaving early to check out the other club I want to work at.
    Last edited by harlequinn; 07-14-2006 at 11:14 PM.

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    I would try to go back, sometimes drama can blow over as fast as it happens, but keep in mind it may be better to leave. Sorry it happened, it sounds like she made a mistake or something happened to her that made her pissed and she just wanted to take it out on someone.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Quote Originally Posted by harlequinn

    Eventually I asked one of them if they would mind if I sat with them. She said that probably wouldnt be a good idea, since he wouldnt want me to, saying he picks his girls. I said ok, that's cool. Perfectly understandable. Another one of the girls talking about the guy was a sweet girl who I've always been cool with. I asked her who the customer was, out of curiousity, since I didnt intend on going over there unless he asked me to. She said to me that I should watch where she would be sitting because she'd be sitting with him. I told her that I couldnt come over there because of what the first girl had said (that he wouldnt want me to) and she said "You never know baby", basically encouraging me to find out if he wanted me over there.

    You shouldn't ask. Ever. Even if you don't intend on doing it.


    Look like a woman
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    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Featured Member Guenevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Even if her outburst had been out of line I think I agree with lillith on this. If you were not intending on going over and it was truly and honestly just curiosity it's better to bite your tongue and forget it.


    Curiosity killed the cat!

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Curiousity killed the cat yet satisfaction brought it back

    Forget about it and go back to the club. I've had dramas at almost every club I have danced within not through any fault of my own .... just because that is the way this business is.. you just can't avoid it no matter what you do!

    Also, if you have no intention of ever going over to the patron of concern then, yes, it is better overall to bite your tongue.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    You shouldn't ask. Ever. Even if you don't intend on doing it.
    Well see I've been asked such things by many girls at work, as far as who gave me that 20, etc. and I tell them.

    I've even had girls ask me (or heard them ask other girls) if they can sit with them and the customer. I was taught when I first got there that if you ask and they say ok (girls or guys) that's when it's ok. I say yes to the girls who ask me this question every time.

    Hell I've even come to the back and said "Hey this guy out there's handing out 20s like nothing, you should get a piece of that while you can!" And this exact thing was said by me TO HER not long ago! She didnt have a problem not 'finding her own customer' then.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Ugh just pretend it didnt happen. Go in do your thing and leave. Dont talk to other girls unless spoken to first, be polite but not more then you need to be. Who cares if everyone thinks your a bitch. Your not there to be friends. I had something like this happen to me once before.... there is a good chance the girl was messed up on some sort of drug. It will blow over. Sorry you had to experiance it. *hugs*

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    that there have been rumors floating around for weeks that I steal people's customers ..... [snip] ..... this is the sweetest girl in the club who never makes trouble with anyone and never yells at anyone either. So NO one would take my word over hers. Plus she's been there longer than I have. She even threw that in my face as she was yelling, saying "I've been here a year you've only been here a month"
    I am new, young, and make more money than almost anyone else in the club. I do more dances than almost anyone else, and they give me amazing shifts without my even asking.
    There's your answer. I'd bet my eyeteeth SHE is the one starting the rumor that you steal customers - she just finally let loose in the open because her drunkenness loosened her lips.

    As shitty and unreasonable as it seems that girls would be jealous and mean simply because you are new and outsell most of them, this is the way it works. They see you as taking "their" money because, even if they make the same money now as before you came along, they see you making more and figure you must be taking something away from them, something they feel they "deserve" more because they were there before you - or that you simply don't deserve because you're new. You don't have to do anything out of line to get on these girls' bad side - you have done it just by making money and being new.

    I would also bet this is a very small club. You would probably do better in a larger club with more girls, where girls don't know each other and you can be more anonymous. There is generally less drama and bullshit in these clubs because no one knows anyone and you really only have time to work. I do better in these environments as well. I often outsell most or all of the others and that just causes too much bullshit in smaller places.

    Good luck. I would try to find a bigger club if I were you.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Let roll off your back sweetie,drama is part of the biz.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette
    Good luck. I would try to find a bigger club if I were you.
    This could be the push you need to move on to bigger and better things.


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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    I had some drama happen with a girl the other night for the first time in my new club, then Thursday neither of us worked, and tonight we were both back again. I let it blow over, she seemed to have forgotten about it, and we even did a 2 girl dance for a guy near the beginning of the night.

    Hopefully maybe this girl won't come back to the club, then you won't have to worry about her anymore

    It probably is simple jealousy if she sees you making money while she is having a night so bad that she wants to quit.

    I can tell who the highrollers are at the club based on who is sitting with them and their actions, but I don't go over unless one of the girls or the guy ask me to. Don't even ask who they are, it's not worth it. Work the rest of the crowd and develop your own highrolling regulars.

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    If it were me, I'd be tempted to write a short "I'm sorry" note and leave it for her along with a gift certificate to a really fattening restaurant. For instance, contrary to their advertising image, Subway has some really high calorie sandwiches.

    -Ev

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Shit like that happened to me when I was new. I think many of us go through some sort of horrible drama when we are starting out. If you can take anything positive from this experience let it be that it's part of developing a thick skin. You might do better at a bigger club as suggested earlier in the thread- but I would stay there a little longer on principle alone. Don't let anyone chase you out of that club if you're making money. Has the management said anything to you? If they're giving you good shifts, they must like you so I wouldn't worry about that.

    I remember this one girl- she was a veteran. She totally flipped out on me when I tipped her a dollar. I mean, I tipped her b/c I thought she was pretty and looked up to her because she danced so great and I was just a gangly little baby-stripper. Well she took it as a sign of disrespect, and hell, maybe it was but I didn't know any better. Well anyway she is on the verge of fighting me over this stupid dollar. The manager ended up firing her for her behavior. I cried and cried about that- had second thoughts about going back, but I'm so glad I stayed because it taught me that not everyone is going to like me. No matter how sweet and well-meaning, sometimes you are the person that someone hates for whatever reason. No use letting these people rent space in your head.

    Good luck and chin up

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Thank you all so very much for your encouragement.

    This kind of thing has been happening with several girls. The first time it was the club drunk (you know, the mean kind of drunk who ALWAYS starts trouble/drama) who yelled at me because a customer she'd been working over earlier in the day (but who I had not seen her with) called me to come over and eventually to give him a dance. Even in retrospect, I've been told it is ok to go to a guy if the guy asks for you. The owner enforces this philosophy- "it's the customer's choice". He doesnt want his customers forced to interact with a girl who isnt really his preference, and doesnt want other girls chasing away the one the customer does want.

    Also, yesterday, I came across a guy while I was collecting my tips who asked me to come back and dance for him. I actually danced for another guy first before coming back to him. We sat for a few minutes, he gave me the $30 up front. Well another girl (one who is already nasty to me) came up and asked him if he was ready (while I was sitting right there. Even if a guy had told me he wanted a dance from me, I wouldnt do that while some other girl was sitting RIGHT THERE). He told her that I had gotten there first, and that he'd be getting a dance from me first since I had gotten there before her, and he told her if I got there first he'd dance with me first.

    I even tried to help her by encouraging him to take her suggestion (dancing with both of us). He told her he'd dance with her next, I even tried encouraging him to dance with her first. He wouldnt do it. Even though I went out of my way to be nice and try and give her what she wanted (specially since I'd already been paid) I know I'm gonna get shit about it tomorrow. That's the kind of shit that keeps happening to me.

    I think the bigger club thing is excellent advice, as the other club I'm considering IS bigger and has way more girls. Hopefully it will be impossible for word to get around that I 'steal' customers.

    This is hard, because I cant even audition there until Monday, and I am scheduled for today and Sunday night. My shift today sucks, but Sunday is good, and I dont want these people to win and chase me away from money I could have made.

    I think I will go back today and tomorrow. It's just going to be hard because I know EVERYone there is going to be giving me a hard time (just how hard I dont really know), since it was the club 'sweetheart' that went off on me.

    I'll have a ride on stand-by in case anything over-the-top happens. Any ideas what I should expect/do when confronted?

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Just remember the customers are part of this decision process too. Do you think that guy was handing out hundreds because he DIDN'T want women sitting with him? LOL!

    I could say some other shit about this but you all ain't gonna want to hear it.

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Quote Originally Posted by harlequinn
    I'll have a ride on stand-by in case anything over-the-top happens. Any ideas what I should expect/do when confronted?
    Tell her she is old and used up and should apply to the nearest walmart. Try to throw the word "bitch" in there a few times - and do it public so there is more entertainment in your club.

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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    You never know with stripper drama... sometimes you go in expecting a war and everything's fine. Don't worry so much. The girl could apologize today and go back to being a sweetheart... everyone has their moments.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    I could say some other shit about this but you all ain't gonna want to hear it.
    No no, Deogol, go ahead. I am genuinely confused (more or less) as to why all this shit is being dumped in my lap, how I can combat it/prevent it, etc. Please explain any POV you may have on the situation, I would like to hear as many as possible to try and gain some perspective on the whole thing.

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    ^^^ I think he was going to give you advice on how to be rude to any oncomers.

    You're fine. Shit happens, and the girl will probably let it blow over. It is bad to ask about money sources, but as long as you play it both ways and return the favor when there's someone in the crowd being very generous, then I honestly don't see anything wrong with it.

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    this is the way i see it.. cut and dry. you are allowed to say WHATEVER you want.. as long as you aren't trying to be slick and cut into someone's money. ask. i'll tell a girl where the high roller is.. you can't be afraid to lose a customer - that's the game. about sitting with the customer.. personally if a girl is sitting with him I won't come over. i think it's rude and unprofessional. as soon as you get up though - fair game. if girls want to talk shit - oh well. like the other posts say - you're not here to make friends - just money.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    Ehh, they give you a hard time in part because they see it gets to you. Their goal is to run you out. I WOULD still go to the bigger club, but I would work the weekend anyway, if for no other reason than to spite those bitches. You should see way less of this type of bullshit at the bigger club, and that means fewer distractions from the MONEY you're trying to make. You will probably do better at the other place for this reason. Let the little jealous bitches wallow in their insecurities while you move on to greener pastures

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    I recently had some chick (who'd been there for like, EVER and called herself the housemom... even though we don't have a house mom) get a bunch of sand in her vagina for a similar reason recently. She'd been sitting with this dude ALLLLL fucking day and he wasn't getting dances from her (which is wrong of her in the first place... move yer ass already!). Anyways, I talked to him for a few minutes when she was off doing dances or something and he wanted a dance immediately. She got SO PISSED. Seriously.

    I doubt that this girl is as sweet as you think she is. You said you'd only been there a month... She's probably (well, APPARENTLY) only nice on the surface.

    They're joining with her because they're jealous. She said that because she's jealous. They feel threatened and they're making up reasons to get rid of you. If you can make just as good or better money at a different club, go check it out. Otherwise, they're just gonna have to get used to you. Maybe try to work when she's not going to be there.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    First of all: WELCOME TO THE BUSINESS. Pull up a seat. You'll be lucky if that's the craziest thing you witness during your career as a dancer.

    My advice is to talk to the other dancers as little as possible. Even the "sweet" ones who have been there for a while. Some in, put your stuff down, get dressed, and get out. Smile at everyone, even the girls who just look away in response. Would you rather be thought of as the silly, manipulative, annoying girl who gets into everyone's business (as you are doubtlessly being portrayed right now), or as a quiet, stuck-up, no-drama hustler?

    A year is not that long for this girl to have been dancing, so I wouldn't look up to her too much based on that. She doesn't sound like she has a lot of class, in fact she sounds pretty two-faced, which is a sure sign of self-doubt. Don't let anyone take their insecurities out on you.

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    There is only one thing to say to this post that i can think and its this: welcome to the strip club honey.

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    Default Re: What is this- a fucking conspiracy?!?

    You are dealing with a bully. Plain and simple. If you ignor her and take the high road, then it will all blow over.

    If anyone ever accuses you of "stealing" customers again, you can look at them point blank and say something like "It's illegal to own human beings in the USA, so I couldn't possibily have stolen him."


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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