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Thread: How NOT to get a date!!!

  1. #1
    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default How NOT to get a date!!!

    Here's a story to share that happend to me at wotk today....mind you this actually happend at my REGULAR job!! So I work part time at the Hallmark Gifts store in our mall, and this guy comes in looking for a symapthy card. He is short, stocky, dress pants and dress shirt with suspenders and a tie. He is older than me, probably around 40yrs old. Kinda gross looking though. Anyway...here's how the conversation went:

    Him: I need a symapathy card to break up with my fucking slut girlfriend.

    Me: Oh...(awkward pause)...okay here is the "Between You an Me" cards. I am sure there is one to help you out.

    Him: Can you help me pick one?

    Me: Sure, how's this one....(he reads card I chose, likes it)

    Him: That fucking slut, you know what she did? She fucking cheated on me with other guy. Can you believe that? She let me screw her in the ass to prove she loved me, yet she goes and does this!! So the next time I fucked her, my dick starts to burn before I even finish. Now I got some kind of infection . It burns when I take a piss, and this morning I had some kind of ooze seeping out.

    (At this point I take a step back and suggest he see a doctor)

    Him: I haven't been to the Doc, cause I'm embarrassed of it...ya know having a bleeding, oozing cock and all. What a fucking slut!

    I ring up his purchase, and still listening to him rant on about his crusty pecker. I had no idea what to say to him. why he felt compelled to share these details with me, I don't know. So he leaves the store just to return about an hour later. This time changes his shirt right there infront of me and the other girl I was working with and a few other customers!!!

    Him: Hey can I get you something to drink?

    Me:No thanks, I have water here.( I am trying to be polite...damn customer service crap, last thing I want is a "Roofie" Smoothie!)

    Him: Hey, uh, when you done here?

    Me: Why?

    Him: I was wondering if you wanted to get something to eat. Maybe grab some ice cream?

    Me: No thanks. I really don't have an appetite anymore.


    Can you belive that crap!!! What kind of guy openly discusses his personal health issue like that then tries to get a date at the end of it all!!!! WEIRDO!!!!If this took place in the club, I would have had him thrown out, but the retail world isn't so accomodating! Yikes, the last thing I'd want is to be anywhere near him after hearing about the snotty end of his fuck stick! Even if he were to come into the club, this is one guy I would avoid just on his look alone! I had to share the creepy custy story!

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    I hope he was just playing a prank. Otherwise, people like him deserve to be in crusty pecker misery.

    You can refuse service to a person who is behaving mentally ill (I think telling strangers about one's crusty genitals is a sign of a f*cked up head. No peen pun intended.) If he comes back, kick him out & tell your superiors he was making you fear for your safety.

    (PS Canadians are polite to a fault. In America, verbal & physical assault is considered a normal way to interact with strangers. Maybe this guy was American? Ha ha.)

  3. #3
    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    BWAHAHAHAHA!

    That just made my day. *barf*
    \

  4. #4
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    Smile! You're on candid camera!

    See, no one's safe from ppl. like that. Ugh.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Featured Member tootsie's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    interesting! i'd be pissed if i got something from my "slut boyfriend" too bad for him

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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    I have seen him around town, but NEVER exchanged words up to this point. I know he isn't mentally ill, he's just weird. I heard he works in a jewelry store. Unfortunately there was no "superior" to tell. It was just myself and another young girl working the store. Our manager had left after lunch. We are on our own to deal with crap like that. My town is small, so once you have a run-in with one creepo, somehow you just will keep running into them. That's all I need...to keep running into Mr. Herpe-Infested-Cum Bubble in a suit!

  7. #7
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    ...he was too embarassed to go to a doctor...but yet feels no shame at all in telling a random hot store clerk and asking her out?


    wtf?

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    I can't believe he was gonna get her a card? Maybe he thought he was being funny???
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  9. #9
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    Try to let a girl down nicely that gave me VD and get your personal shit spilled all over the internet. Sheesh. Thought I was doing something nice.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    Where do these people keep coming from and why do they keep hitting on pretty women?

    God dam, someone in person telling you about their crusty dick! Then asking to see you? Man some people, just open mouth and insert foot.

    I can just imagine if he comes back: [I'm sorry sir, but I want no more tales of your crusty stick, sex life, or anything else. Now buy a card or get out of here.] Yes I know there is much worse to be said, but I was thinking in terms of customer service.

    Of course you could always use the, “Are you going to buy something or not routine”, as you may know it drives customers away badly. I was once in a small card shop, looking for a card and gifts for mother's day. I tend to spend heaps on mom for mother’s day. I was in the store 2 minutes, and had barely even found the mother type stuff. Clerk comes up to me and asks very rudely. "Are you going to buy something or not? I want to close now there has been no profit today." The mall was going to be open another hour or two. I said, "If you want to close early I'll leave" then I stalked out of the store. She tried to follow me, and said "it is ok to stay if your going to buy something." I let her know she had just lost a very big sale, and kept walking. I must add the card shop is now closed, and replaced with a mobile phone store.

    Hopefully he will never come back.
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  11. #11
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    Whaa. There is a walk in bizarro world.

  12. #12
    Senior Member BlindGroping's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder
    ~censored because I'm eating!~
    Silly me, i thought this was going to be a list on what not to do to get a date.

    Well, here's a short list from personal experience.
    1. Don't ask.
    2. Refer to an Ex.
    3. Don't put anything into your appearance.

    And a special #4 after reading Sinder's story:
    (No, NOT from personal experience)
    4. talk about you oozing penis.

    Too bad we don't have a smilie for :wretch!:
    I'm here just for the food.

  13. #13
    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: How NOT to get a date!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by kandie_kitten
    ...he was too embarassed to go to a doctor...but yet feels no shame at all in telling a random hot store clerk and asking her out?


    wtf?


    I know eh!!! That's what I didn't get about him! Too shy about seeing the doc, but feels perfectly comfortable spilling the beans to me!
    Too bad Hallmark doesn't have a card that says :Thanks for the cock-rot!"

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