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Thread: should i tell my best regular this?

  1. #1
    Miss. Kristina Lee
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    Sad should i tell my best regular this?

    My very best regular has been so for about 3 years. he treats me great and always takes very good care fo me money wise. i consider him a very good friend and we talk online often, even when i dont see him for a month or more. he never asks for extrasd and is a pure gentleman.

    hes one of those permanent bachelors by chice, but has recently become smitten with a dancer that he finds to be the sweetest girl in the world. he has known her as long as he has known myself. they are now officially going out, and im sure she will not be dancing anymore. he also will not be coming out to the clubs anymore, at least not nearly as often.

    my problem is this. the girl is a gold digger, she is playing him for his money and is currently engaged to two men. one her live in fiancee and another ex cstomer who is a state highway patrollmen. now she is playing my wonderful and sometime naive custy. she recently had surgery so i know she needs the money but i cant beleve she is playing all these men at once.

    i have no motive here for finantial gain onmy part, in one month ill be moved out of state and he will no longer be my regular just a dear friend i talk to online. i care for him and want the best for him but im afraid if i tell him these things that he will resent me and just thin i either

    a have some vendetta against her
    b am just trying to fuck things up so he keeps coming in and spending money
    c doesnt think i want him to be happy.

    this is the dillemma. do i tell him? or do i let him find this all out on his own?

  2. #2
    Featured Member blondi553's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    i say u tell him before he gets f*cked over by this girl......i know i would wanna know if i was him. there is always the chance he will not believe u but u need to take the chance if u care for him as u say u do.....just my opinion

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    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    If you feel like telling him is the right thing to do then I say go for it. If the worst happens you will always feel somewhat responsible. However, I think the proper way to go about this would be to wait until your business relationship with him has ceased. Wait until you move away that way he can be sure that it isn't some kind of ploy.
    It sucks that someone you have respected and has respected you might be getting played, but obviously as respectful as he was of you- never trying to go OTC with you, he found someone that would. Maybe he is tired of being the nice guy and wants a sure thing- despite the baggage that might bring along with it.

    He may be pissed or otherwise offended, but that's the risk you take. Telling a friend their love interest sucks will always test a relationship.

    OR you could always keep your mouth shut- make some more money off of him before you go, and be supportive when things don't work out. That would be the easier option I think.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    No, don't tell him. He wouldn't believe you. He's smitten.

    But ...

    Remind the dancer that you are very good friends with him and would be very unhappy if he got hurt.

  5. #5
    Veteran Member KennedyWinters's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    knowledge is power. I think he will assume mostly C- that you don't want him to get hurt and bamboozled but understandably a little bit of B- that you see him as reliable income.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Biancanz's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Sometimes people tend to shoot the messenger - if he is smitten he may not want to hear what you have to say. It's a hard one - if one of my friends knew something similar about my boyfriend i would want to be told - although i guess it depends on how good friends you are as well, if it came from someone I didn't know very well I would probably get a bit pissed off!....... random thoughts!!

  7. #7
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    I would tell him, but more in a way of "Be careful around her." When he asks, say "Hey, look, she lives with a guy. Put it together."

    If he already knows she lives with a guy, then he just has to learn it the hard way.

  8. #8
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    I think tell him - gently... I would leave it until a week before you move, so it doesnt look like you're doing it for your own personal satisfaction.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member ChloeTheRed's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    I would definitely agree with those above who have said that if you feel you must tell him, wait the three or four weeks until this is no longer a business relationship. He's far far more likely to believe you if the taint of money isn't hanging around this whole thing.

    Personally, yes, I would tell him that there may be stuff going on he doesn't know about (live-in fiance, third dude) once the business relationship is over. It could very well jeapordize the friendship, but that would be less painful than watching this new relationship of his self-destruct messily.

    And don't tell him "OMG she's the Debbil!" Hint that you're worried, then drop that you've heard she's still living with somebody else and may be seeing a third guy. Phrase it very much in terms of "she seems like she may be less than totally serious about you, and I'm afraid that you'll end up getting your heart broken in this relationship - please be careful!" The more you can do to not badmouth this girl, the more likely he is to listen.

  10. #10
    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    I agree with Deogol. Giving him a general warning about the girl will clear your conscious, and hopefully not give the guy a wrong idea about your intentions. Good luck.

  11. #11
    Member haley6161's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Boy, this is such a gray area. I think I would definately wait until the business part of the relationship has ended. Once that has ended, I still would not do a lot of bashing against her, I would be as general as possible. The messenger always gets shot at first, but is thanked later if correct. Give him enough info for him to start questioning her, and let her hang herself.....This always works best especially for the messenger
    Haley

  12. #12
    Miss. Kristina Lee
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    yes i think this is what i am going to do. i have gently warned him to be careful but nothing more.

    i just wish such a good guy wouldnt get taken advantage of.

  13. #13
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Happens to the best of us. Not your problem, and I'm sure he's more aware to the situation than he even lets himself know about.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  14. #14
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Not. Your. Business.

  15. #15
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    i would tell him tactfully as some people have mentioned. just don't expect much to come of it, if he truly loves her he's probably going to stay in denial about it. also, you don't know 100% what her feelings are, so i wouldn't get too involved. from what you described, chances are that she's a cunt who's just trying to get as much money from as many guys as possible. however, there's also a chance that she's changed or that she actually loves this guy. doubtfull, yes? but not something you want to mess with. plus, people get what's comming to them. if she's engaged to multiple men for the sole purpose of taking their money when they later divorce, and that can be proved in court, she's in for a world of hurt.

  16. #16
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    Not. Your. Business.

    But friends are our business.

  17. #17
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    This is a classic case of "Kill the Messenger" -for trying to help by bearing bad news, "friends" suffer. & Saying something to the girl in question will only make her go on the offensive...this female has proven to be duplicitous in the extreme...she wouldn't blink at causing the OP trouble.

  18. #18
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    This is a classic case of "Kill the Messenger" -for trying to help by bearing bad news, "friends" suffer. & Saying something to the girl in question will only make her go on the offensive...this female has proven to be duplicitous in the extreme...she wouldn't blink at causing the OP trouble.

    They might kill the messenger at first - but people have a habit of crawling back and saying "You were right about that asshole/bitch."

    Of course, her being in the same profession as the gold digger may taint things a little....

  19. #19
    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChloeTheRed
    I would definitely agree with those above who have said that if you feel you must tell him, wait the three or four weeks until this is no longer a business relationship. He's far far more likely to believe you if the taint of money isn't hanging around this whole thing.

    Personally, yes, I would tell him that there may be stuff going on he doesn't know about (live-in fiance, third dude) once the business relationship is over. It could very well jeapordize the friendship, but that would be less painful than watching this new relationship of his self-destruct messily.

    .
    this right here is great advice.

  20. #20
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Its a lose lose for you. Sounds like hes in PL/RIL mode and has to learn on his own. As you stated, he will likely think you are jealous of the money which automatically makes your advise suspect even though from your POV its given from a "look out for him" standpoint. Once he gets burned by this particular dancer I suspect he will figure all of you are only interested in his money and will be blinded to any possibility of any dancer being sincere. Its sort of a rite of passage that a lot of us guys have to go thru One can only hope that at the end of the day and after all the drama he figures out whats up.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  21. #21
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Why do we ALL have to become evil bitches just because ONE bitch fucked you over, when it was all good BEFORE that ONE???

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  22. #22
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    ^- It's the Curse of the Vagina.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  23. #23
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette
    Why do we ALL have to become evil bitches just because ONE bitch fucked you over, when it was all good BEFORE that ONE???
    ALL women are evil bitches, dammit. Didn't you know? I thought that was, like, clear and shit.


  24. #24
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette
    Why do we ALL have to become evil bitches just because ONE bitch fucked you over, when it was all good BEFORE that ONE???
    YAh. Thats a really deep question.

    "She's really nice but only wants to talk to me inside the club when I am fisting money over to her. That one I love and she says she loves me but she is living with a guy. Those other one's won't even talk to me unless they see money on the table."


    I wonder where jaded customers come from? I don't know. It's a mystery.

  25. #25
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell my best regular this?

    If he were a girlfriend, you'd tell him in some manner. If you hear about him after you part company with him, and he has a sad tale for you, how would you feel about not warning him? Make sure he knows you do not have an ulterior motive; this will be very important.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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