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Thread: I did a dumb assed thing....

  1. #1
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    Angry I did a dumb assed thing....

    I have only been at this new club a few weeks.... to make a long stupid story short... This guy has been coming in to see me.... almost every night... He is young, good looking, and EXTREMELY into himself. Last Tuesday the bar was dead and we closed at 11.30 pm So being fired up and not ready to go home me and another dancer went up the road to the other strip club.... the guy was there... he ran over to me and started hugging on me and trying to kiss me... It was INCREDIBLY awkward.... (I have an awesome man here at home and we are in a LONG TERM relationship) I had told the guy while giving him dances...that I like him and enjoyed his company...(which I do.... AT WORK) So we're at this bar and he is begging for my number.... and for some unknown reason, even to myself.... I gave it to him.... and he has been calling, and calling, and calling... to make matters worse, he is WELL KNOWN by almost EVERYONE in my club and on Saterday night he got falling down drunk and stood in our parking lot with our Manager until 3 am telling him how much "I am in love with MONTANA dude, she has to leave her man, I know I can treat her better..." blah blah blah.... I don't really know how to handle this.. I could just let it ride and milk it for all its worth until he gets over it.... or.... (Because I am afraid it will turn ugly and he is stalker material) tell him I am not interested and to piss off.
    also,
    Do you guys think I should tell Joe about all of this??? He would be unthrilled.... I think. The only stipulations he gave to me going back to this was a) DO NOT get pulled into the LIFESTYLE...if you can handle it as a job, great....
    b) Do NOT DO ANYTHING that would make doubt my trust in you, or doubt your judgement...



    so yup... that is my... stupid blonde moment for the month... whadya guys think...

  2. #2
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did a dumb assed thing....

    i would explain tacktfully at first that he shouldnt be calling you so often, that you are in a long term serious relationship, and that you only want to see him in the club. i woulndt come right out and be mean just yet, since if he's a regular there you might wind up burning some bridges. you don't want him telling everyone you're a bitch or something. if he doesnt respect what you say, i would be much more firm, and i would also tell the manager that he's making you feel unsafe (if it comes to that). as far as telling your SO, i wouldnt just yet. you -can- handle the job and part of it is dealing with situations like this. the only time i think you need to tell him is if you think your safety might be in question.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I did a dumb assed thing....

    Change your number. Seriously. He sounds insane.

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    Default Re: I did a dumb assed thing....

    Yeah, it sounds like you should let him down nicely and if that doesn't work block his number. Maybe that manager can remind him you are married.

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    Default Re: I did a dumb assed thing....

    Talk to him first about calling you so much. I've given my number to one or two people and I don't do it anymore because they obviously weren't taught what an appropriate time to call is.

    IF he doesn't stop- then change your number. This way you can be at ease instead of wondering if he has calmed down.

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    Default Re: I did a dumb assed thing....

    If you can't block him, change your number. You'd have to tell your dude, then. Just don't give him all the details. Say you were.... whatever.... one night and gave ur number out to a crazed custy.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: I did a dumb assed thing....

    I think you should definitley tell your man about what's going on. Don't tell him all the details that this custy was trying to kiss all on you and hug all on you. Just tell him that you met this customer that spent a lot of money on you on night in the VIP room, and that he's a traveler or something and asked for your phone number so the next time he was in town, he could call you, so you'd know he was in town and so you could go into work to make money. Then explain to your man that he's since then been coming in and making you feel very uncomfortable and everything. I think it would be best to be as honest as possible with your man because by not being honest with him WILL make him NOT TRUST YOU and make him suspicious. Also, what if this psycho custy calls your house and your man anwers the phone and says all this stuff and your man doesn't know anything about this? You did say that your man said it was fine with him that you go back to dancing as long as you could handle it and give him no reason to not trust you. I think by keeping the truth from him will give him reasons to not trust you and then he might not want you to dance anymore and it could give you relationship problems. NO CUSTOMER is worth ruining the relationships with the ones you care most about! I'd also dump this customer, he sounds dangerous, stalkerish and I'd see if I could get him banned from the club, at least temporarily if he didn't keep his distance from me. You need to do what's best for your safety and what's best for you and your family. YOu might also want to change your phone # asap because people can locate your address by your phone #, unless you gave him your cell # and not your home number. If it was your cell #, then you could maybe wait a little bit to see how things go before you tell your man, but if it starts getting worse, tell him and get rid of Mr. Psycho. Good luck hun!

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    Veteran Member Sinful333's Avatar
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    Default Re: I did a dumb assed thing....

    The truth will set you free

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    Default Re: I did a dumb assed thing....

    Thanks guys. All great advice. I talked it over with Joe last night... I just told him everything... he grumbled a bit... Made a crack about me not having any common sense... Told me just to ignore the calls for now and next time he comes in to tell him that his behavior is inappropriate.... if he doesn't stop calling I am going to have to tell the club, then change my number (with expense - cingular...) He wasn't all that mad... he says he understands the need to try and keep tabs on REG's..... but, maybe I should try and cultivate business relationships with NON insane guys...


    Thanks again....

    M


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