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Thread: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

  1. #1
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    I was working two days ago...surprise...and get this:

    <person>"Wut u doin?"

    <mast>"working"

    <person>"Oh"

    And I thought... wow... there's 3 msgs right down the drain.... Then, I had an vision.

    <ENTER YOUR GOD HERE even if it's your bf's penis> came to me in a bright light and said "GO FORTH, AND TELL THE WORLD THAT FOR EVERY USELESS TXT MSG SENT, I WILL KILL A STRIPPER

    So..... think of the strippers....

    Don't useless txt msg.... You're either on the "Thats sucks" or the "THAT REALLY SUCKS" side of this. This benefits no one.... except the customers apparently

    *eyeroll*



    Mast

    DON'T KILL STRIPPERS
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  2. #2
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Can we pick and choose which strippers get killed? Cuz if so then I'm off to send random 'hi' messages.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  3. #3
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    As if you fucking don't already.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  4. #4
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    *goes off to send mast 26 text messages each with a different letter*

    "a"
    "b"
    "d"
    "q"
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  5. #5
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    <ENTER YOUR GOD HERE even if it's your bf's penis> came to me in a bright light and said "GO FORTH, AND TELL THE WORLD THAT FOR EVERY USELESS TXT MSG SENT, I WILL KILL A STRIPPER

    So..... think of the strippers....

    Don't useless txt msg....

    Remember, only you can prevent dead strippers...
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  6. #6
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    <INSERT YOUR GOD HERE> Has come to me again! SXYBRAT WILL BE ONE OF THE FIRST

    don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger. I just hope he makes it painful.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  7. #7
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    WWWHHHHEEEEEEEEE! Days off! Forever!
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  8. #8
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    I was working two days ago...surprise...and get this:

    <person>"Wut u doin?"

    <mast>"working"

    <person>"Oh"

    And I thought... wow... there's 3 msgs right down the drain.... Then, I had an vision.

    <ENTER YOUR GOD HERE even if it's your bf's penis> came to me in a bright light and said "GO FORTH, AND TELL THE WORLD THAT FOR EVERY USELESS TXT MSG SENT, I WILL KILL A STRIPPER

    So..... think of the strippers....

    Don't useless txt msg.... You're either on the "Thats sucks" or the "THAT REALLY SUCKS" side of this. This benefits no one.... except the customers apparently

    *eyeroll*



    Mast

    DON'T KILL STRIPPERS

    Now I have to text you. Often.
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
    *******************************

    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

  9. #9
    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    <INSERT YOUR GOD HERE> Has come to me again!
    /me inserts his own personal Jesus
    I just hope he makes it painful.
    You dirty little whore

  10. #10
    Veteran Member NoCoverLover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Mast, I'll txt you with the names of specific strippers I want killed. I trust you to do my bidding...

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Why not just get a death note, all you have to do is write, and it don't cost anything but the lead in a pencil. Well it will cost an eye if you want to know the natural death or true name of someone.

    I better explain: its from a manga:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_note

    -Just imagine you could change the world, but at what price.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  12. #12
    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    so how does drunk txt msging factor into all this, mast?

    i mean, what if the txt is, technically, useless but, at the same time, thoroughly entertaining? or does entertainment already factor in to the utility equation?

    because, if it doesn't, then i don't see how a txt about "it's raining men" didn't kill at least one stripper, if not two. in addition to the irritating fact that it is stuck in my head now as well. punk.

  13. #13
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    No no no Humor is ok.

    I hope....

    Cause that's ALLLLLL I got.


    HOWEVER.

    A random txt msg like:

    *no contact for weeks*
    <person> hehehe

    <mast> what's so funny?

    <person> nothing

    should burn in hell for the sins commited against technology is all I am saying.

    I appreciate your concern for your life however, "it's raining men" is a fitting punishment for your disbelief
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  14. #14
    Cally
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    *sends random text msgs to Mast*

  15. #15
    Featured Member sander8son's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    heh, i can appreciate this thread. because its exactly how i feel about posts ON here. i try not to send pointless text messages since i only have so many before i have to start payin extra.

    and as we all know, "show your boobs" is an excellent use of sms.

  16. #16
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Aren't 99% of text messages essentially useless? I mean wasn't the whole concept of text messaging created to help terminally illiterate people to communicate?


    I can just see some jilted possesive regular now, staring at his fave across the room in disgust while she entertains another customer...

    Typing Into Phone: Die U btch! (send) nothing happens
    "Nope. That wasn't the one".

    Typing Into Phone:
    f'n whore! (send) nothing happens
    "Damn it. She's still alive!"

    Typing Into Phone:
    I wsh U wer ded!! (send) nothing happens
    "How many times do I have to do this?"

    Bouncer runs through club: "Evacuate everyone!! There's a gas leak!!!"
    Typing Into Phone: suk it!! (send, throws phone across room at dancer, hits a light bulb instead, breaking it, causing a spark.....)

    BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

    Twenty-five dead strippers just like that (plus two dead waitresses, two dead bouncers, one dead DJ, one dead housemom, one dead manager, fourty dead customers, and one dead homeless man who picked a very wrong time to take a wiz on the back of the building).

    So yes, don't send useless text messages, or throw your phone at anything electrical.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  17. #17
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    I must be a lucky man, everyone wants to get my by voice. The only text messages I've gotten in the past 6 months have been from the phone company, to tell me I have voice mail.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  18. #18
    Cally
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Im addicted to sending text msgs... I hate talking on the phone but I can text all day lol.

  19. #19
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    I think everyone that sends me a txt, either figured out there is a 1 in 100 shot I'll respond, or that if I'm curious I'll cal.

    I actually have responses programmed into my phone so I don't have to bother typing it out. At least my phone is ok when I do send one. Some phones are real buggers to get a message out on.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  20. #20
    Cally
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    I used to have the phone that had all the letters on it.. I can text faster then I can type. Though with my new SLVR phone its a bit of a slower text but I will get it

  21. #21
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cally
    Im addicted to sending text msgs... I hate talking on the phone but I can text all day lol.
    Me too!!!!
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
    *******************************

    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

  22. #22
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cally
    Though with my new SLVR phone its a bit of a slower text but I will get it
    I hate you now....I wanna slvr!!!
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  23. #23
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    Yeah I think TM and Cally need to be texting me.. often. Lewdly....
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
    *******************************

    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

  24. #24
    Cally
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    If I had your number I would Paige *evil grin*

  25. #25
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't Waste txt MSGs. It hurts strippers.

    So I'm sitting at a restaurant. In front of this really nice couple. Smoking hot lady too!

    <Me> Hi
    <person> hello mr.
    <Me> I ordered me some soup on a stick lol kthx sup u?
    <person> lol kekeke
    <Me> ?
    <person> Friends is a good show.
    <Me> o ya! Joey notsomuch but [email protected]
    <person> My femparts itch.
    <Me> bengay.

    Then I hear the guy behind me tell his waiter...
    "Sir.... there's a dead stripper in my house salad."

    And I thought: "OH NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE"
    I still tipped her a 20.

    DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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