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Thread: Your Grossest Customer

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    Your Grossest Customer

    I have just completed a 4-song couch dance for the most revolting creature that has ever walked this green earth. Fortunately it was the end of the night, and I could go home and shower promptly, which I did. And let me tell you ladies, I earned a fucking OSCAR this evening for the performance I gave that nasty coot. By the time we were done, he was so damn happy he'd dropped that $150 and he felt like the sexiest man alive. I'd like to thank the Academy...

    This dude was old - said he was in his forties, looked like his seventies - and he was missing most of his teeth. The few he had were sparsely scattered and brown. He had thick, curly white hair growing all over his neck and smelled like a porta-potty on a hot day in Juarez. His fly was half-open (thankfully, nothing poking out). He had just finished his shift as a janitor, so who knows what he was covered in. And he kept telling me how much he wanted to spank me and what a dirty old man he was. He never tried to touch me, but he repeatedly asked me to "grab whatever you want!" (Yeah, I'm just DYING to grab your nasty old wenis.) About two songs in, he happily exclaimed that I was giving him a "boner," and when we were done he tried to kiss me on the cheek and said, "I'm gonna be having wet dreams about you for a long time."

    I have to say, in the Most Disgusting Customer category, this guy is a powerful contender. Can you beat it? (To be eligible, you have to have danced for him for at least one full song!)

  2. #2
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    oh i hope i win! rofl.


    so theres this guy in his late 70s, in japan. walks with a cane,is overweight,grey hair,and a pock marked face. loaded.

    he comes into the club every now and then,always sits with the same girls,until they move on clubs. anyways. back to him.

    he comes in right after eating dinner. eel. yep eel. his breath STINKS, he still has bits of eel in his teeth,i kid you not.he has one of those raspy coughing phlegm voices, where by when he talks he spits wads of phlegm and gunk at your face.

    he takes me for a dance. 15seconds into it, and he pulls out,no not his penis, but a flashlight and a magnifying glass!! he peers thu his thick framed glasses shining his flashlight on my kitty and sticking his magnifying glass as close as he can get away with. omfg!

    so he wants to go on a dohan. ok i say,cant be too bad....

    he craps himself in the taxi on the way back to the club (!!!!!), he coughs his eel breath on me the whole time and i have to sit there, smile,hug and hang on to his every last word.

    do i kinda sorts get a nomination or something.surely...!
    ??

  3. #3
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    OMG. Wow, I think you do beat me. What's a dohan?

  4. #4
    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    I can't remember his face- but his oily head smelled like aged parmesan.

  5. #5
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    OMG. Wow, I think you do beat me. What's a dohan?
    I think it is like a paid dinner date with a stripper. The clubs arrange for the dancer to accompany the customer to a sister restaurant for an hour or so.

    Am I right Mermaidnz?


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  6. #6
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    I rarely dance for gross customers, because the price I charge for a dance goes up depending on how gross the guy is. If he is at all like what Mermaidnz or Yekhefah described, I would charge $100 a song or more. They rarely take me up on those kind of prices.

    Not gross, but just annoying, one time a customer asks me for a dance. I agree at the going rate ($25 a song), but notice that he is covered with dirt. I ask him what is all over his clothes. He say "insulation". I did the dance...from 3 feet away. He didn't buy a second one. But he didn't complain about the extreme air dance either!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  7. #7
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    Okay, the grossest customer I've ever had was at the peepshow club. He was probably fifty and scrawny and kept snorting SOMETHING up his nose. That's not the bad part. The bad part was the STENCH! Okay, there is plexiglass between the room I'm in and the room he's in. The only opening between the two was this small vent where they stick the money. After a minute, my booth was overcome by this ODOR! Okay, you know that mildew smell when you let your clothes sit way too long before putting them in the dryer? Picture that times a million plus a faint touch of shit. I could barely finish the show! I washed his money promptly and had the janitor spray out my room and the room he was in. It made me gag.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  8. #8
    Tart
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    Okay here we go. Took me awhile to narrow it down to the grossest I've seen in a decade. BEcause trust me ...there has been many. I'd like to add though., there's be more gross strippers i've met then customers.

    However, I do have a gross custy.

    when I started at the last strip club I worked at in Indianapolis. Which btw., as a lil' background isn't sleazy ( well not as far as comparison to other clubs there. ) we dont get really any gross ass mother fuckers...truckers or freaks. We get the norm., buisness guys. well as normal as they are supposed to be.

    At any rate. First few weeks I was there, there was a man in a wheelchair that would come in at the start of night shift. ( 7pm at the time.) He was 40ish black male in a fucked up wheelchair that had a shopping bag with all this shit in it that had a small hole and stuff would randomly fall out while he was going around the club.

    THe only time I had interaction with him was while I was on stage. Here I was on a center stage. No poles mind you. Dancing around. He was the only guy there. I look over and he has

    One good arm, the other is sorta claw like.

    He has one eye and NO patch over the other.,

    in his claw hand he has a dollar...and he's making this weird gurgle noice and flicking his tounge. By NO means did i want to go over there. But im thinking..man maybe he was in a fucked up accident. So I creep a bit closer to sorta check him out. More out of wonder then really wanting that nasty ass dollar.

    This man SMELLED so fucking bad that I could smell him from one side of the stage the opposite side of where he was sitting. Another customer came and sat down on that opposite side and was gagging. and im not kidding on this.

    This was a homeless man that , as I could guess was sitting literally in his own filth and god knows how long too.

    The next girl goes up and she's new and for whatever fucking reason actually goes to take his dollar..with his claw hand steals her money out of her garter.

    the bouncers couldnt do shit because he smelled so bad and ..

    OH wait i forgot

    while at my stage he gets out of his bag..

    a jar of vaseline

    he smears this shit all over his hands. I mean like globs. Think wanda on in living color.

    so the bouncers were just like shouting " Get the fuck out "

    the man was doing that gurggling noise and would wheel up and try to get em' with his claw hand full of vaseline.

    finally he left lol


    man...yah fucking weird.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member candygrrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    omg tart that is insane and so funny. I've never actually LOLed at this board.

    My grossest customer is basically a really rich corporate real estate dude worth prob a few mil. He walks in dressed nicely looking like a normal business man except in a nicer suit. Fast forward 20 minutes, he is covered in sweat and like shaking. He will do as many vips as i want to do pretty much so ive made like 2500 off of him bc he tips really well but touching him or even being near him is disgusting.
    In between vips he goes out to his car to "party" I ask him, hey A what do you do out there, and hes like oh i was just smoking. And I was like uhh you def weren't smoking weed. He goes out to his car and basically smokes crack. He smells like disgusting gross shit man, crack sweat is disgusting uggugghghgh. sometimes he will bring coke and try and do lines in the back room or go to the bathroom and do it, which i dont mind bc then he doesnt smell as bad and then he forgets about everything and doesnt even get horny. He is cool when hes sober but when he is high it is seriously not worth the money he pays bc it is disgusting.

  10. #10
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    ^candygrrl's Corporate Crackhead takes the cake.......


    My grossest custy was morally crapulent. He freely admitted to cheating on his wife all over the place (he was trying to impress me with this?) When he asked about ME ever having to dance for "gross-appearing" customers, I said it didn't bother me because "they're still human." (I was much younger, less jaded at the time. I also grew up on the farm, so it's hard to gross me out.) He also insulted "fat ugly" dancers, when he was fat & ugly himself. A real pork rind right there.

  11. #11
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    We had a few guys in my old club that would wander in. Two we just called "Smelly Guy 1" and "Smelly Guy 2" (because #2 started coming in months after #1 came in) and the other was "Fat Turd Guy".

    Smelly Guy 1 was kind of retarded, I think. He had a super long beard and stunk to high heaven like BO and would slowly follow girls around the club trying to talk to them (sort of like a zombie), but we always ran from him. He never bought dances (maybe he never had the chance to ask for one) but sometimes he'd throw us a dollar on stage. He wasn't so bad personality-wise, but the smell alone stunk up the whole bar. The waitresses would fight over who had to go serve his drink.

    Smelly Guy 2 actually bought dances. SEVERAL of them. And I think he's schizophrenic. He would look into my eyes and say how "electric" I was, sometimes he would start crying out of joy, or some blissful psychotic state. He was polite and nice, but sometimes he'd ask me to take the gum or mint out of my mouth because the smell was too strong for him. WTF? This guy always REEKED of BO and his clothes were filthy with stains.

    Fat Turd Guy was there almost every day. He didn't smell so bad, but he was extremely overweight and had dark circles under his eyes that just made him look creepy. He was always really serious and I never saw him smile much. He kind of reminded me of a walking turd, hence the name. He'd tip our stages really well sometimes, but he'd always try to massage you when you walked by. When I was a newbie, I sat with him once and he kept rubbing my back. Thinking I'd be able to get him to buy a dance, I let him for a little while, but then he tried sliding his fat little fingers into the sides of my g-string! I walked away after he refused a dance and never sat with him since. I once saw him approach one of the bitchier girls from behind at the club and she said (while turning her head slightly to the side), without even looking at him, "Don't even think about it.". I thought it was hilarious.

    Recently, I encountered a REALLY drunk guy who had bought a dance from my friend, but she said not to even bother trying to dance for him because he was extremely grabby and beligerent. You know it's bad when it's not worth the money. Anyway, he came up and asked me how much a dance was. I told him it would be $25 (the dances at this club are a minimum of $10) and he sat down in the booth. I wanted to wait til the next song, so I told him to move over so I could sit down. He reluctantly did (I don't think his English was that great) and when I went to sit, he moved his hand into the spot where I was going to sit, so that I sat on his hand!
    So the next song starts and I go to dance for him, and I find out his pants are soaking wet. And stained and dirty. And he smelled like old beer. So I got up and told him I couldn't do the dance for him because he pants were all wet. He didn't seem to understand and just sat there as I walked away. He sat there for a full minute until he realized I was off talking to someone else. But the fun didn't stop there! He came up and sat next to me while I was having a conversation and put his arm around me! I grabbed his arm, threw it off me and continued my conversation. LOL I think he got kicked out shortly afterwards.

  12. #12
    Senior Member PhatyPants's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    I have to chime in. I dont dance anymore, but several years ago when I did there was this one (the nastiest human being) I've ever encountered!

    I'm working in Tuscon, and on the main stage. A gentlemen comes up to give me a tip, I do the sexy walk to him and squat down to his eye-level.
    I thank him, and pull my thong out to the sid to accept his tip...and I wait..and I wait. He finally give me the dollar and says in a real breathy voice "You have a GREAT ASS", the WORST Shit breath I've EVER SMELLED. Seriously..ever..

    I think nothing of it, but this happens a few more times. (standing at the front of the stage, telling me I have a great ass, etc..)

    I finally go in the dressing room and I start mentioning to another girl that I didn't want to dance for him becuase his breath smelled particularly bad and I was a little creeped out by his mannerisms.
    She just starts laughing and says "He eats shit". I start laughing my ass (no pun intended) off. She says "no..Seriously, he EATS shit". Shut the fuck up, no one eats poop!? right????

    By then it hits me...the stank breath (I mean I guess that smell really was poo) the "great ass" comments, etc. HE IS A POO GOBBLER! SICK, I was just ill..

    I go into the bathroom a few minutes later..(cause yes..this story gets WAY sicker) open the big stall (becusae I like the big one) and there are two girls in there..
    One girl was hovered over the toilet with a bar napkin in her hand, and the other girl was standing next to her with a sandwhich bag pocketed in her hands...
    Come to find out..this stale bitches with pooing and selling him their turd balls!?!!! (for 20 bucks?!)
    I SWEAR TO GOD!

    I never worked another day shift again..

  13. #13
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    I had a customer I reffered to as 'cat shit breath'. When I told my friend about 'cat shit breath' she said, "Oh, the black guy?" His breath smelled so much like catshit, everyone else noticed too. -.-


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    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  14. #14
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    OMG yours takes the cake, PhatyPants!!

  15. #15
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    one guy that comes into my club... i get ill just thinking about him. he usually spends between 100-200 on whatever dancer he sits with.. unless they are clueless. anyway, i ONLY dance for him if there's no one else there who spends good money or i'm just flat out desperate. he's in his early 50s, is tall and overweight with a HUGE belly that sticks out. he smokes these REALLY NASTY smelling cigars. i know "some cigars" smell "ok" but no... this kind smells like someone lit a cat on fire and then pissed on it to put it out. anywya, 1/2 of his teeth are rotten and he has a mustache and beard.. which collects the NASTY BROWN DROOL that smells like shit from his cigar smoke. to make matters worse, he's a kisser/licker and he tried to put his drool and mouth all over you.

    the second runner up is this guy in his late 60s with a crooked hunchback (yes both) who's really mean and nasty.. and actually thinks he's going to date the girls because he has money. he sweats REALLY bad.. like... everytime he hugs you he drenches you. he walks with a limp because he's cooked and when he gets dances he sticks his tongue out and "flaps" it while trying to act sexy. he also has liver spots all over and is mostly bald with some wild sparce white hairs sticking to his sweaty head.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Jenna*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    i've only been dancing for two weeks and i already had my creepy/gross customer encounter...

    i had one guy ask me to let him smell my feet. (i hate feet so i was kinda creeped out) i agreed because i know one of the other "high end" girls (in champagne allll the time and makes super $$$$$) has a regular that pays her to give her foot massages (figured this guy may be like that..WRONG)

    he wanted me to swear and call him names while he smelled my feet...he then started grabbing and rubbing himself while holding my foot. CREEPY!!!

    this lasted for half a song..he realized i was getting creeped out so he apologized..i charged him for a dance.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    I worked at this club in Chicago where a few days a week I danced & 1 day a week I worked in the "ticketbooth" collecting cover charges. The ticketbooth had bullet-proof glass with a little slot (like at some currency exchanges) for me to take the money.

    There was this 1 customer - I first encountered him while working in the booth - smelled so bad like piss & BO that I had to spray air freshener because his smell had gotten in thru this little 5 x 3 inch money slot. Other days when I was dancing and he was there, I couldn't go to the side of the stage nearest his table because I thought I'd throw up. Even after he left I couldn't talk to anyone at the tables that surrounded where he was sitting - I thought I'd gag. I think he might have been a bum - he always wore this thick winter coat, even when it was 98 degrees out.

    He was cheap as hell on top of it. He wouldn't tip the waitresses or the girls on stage. He would buy one glass of water and then refill it from the drinking fountain and stay for like 6 hours a few times a week.

    Everyone hated him. The dj started directing the spotlights so they'd glare in his eyes. When he would move to a diferent table, the dj would reposition the lights to bug him again. The bouncers would put signs on the drinking fountain saying that it was broken. They would steal his water glass when he went to the bathroom. He just didn't get it. He kept coming back.

    We had reduced cover charge at this place until 4pm (at which time it went up to $20 from $5), so one day when I was working in the booth, he came in at 4:02 & I started I fight with him because he wouldn't pay $20 & got him banned for life. EVERYONE thanked me.

  18. #18
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    OOOOOOOOOOOH MYYYYYYYYY GOD!! Phaty Pants!! That's just aweful and that one takes the cake. *gag*. I don't think i'd be able to give someone like that a dance. I'd probably vomit on his lap. Ew!!! LOL


    Man, I seriously don't think any club should let someone in who smells like shit & piss. What a way to kill it for all eh.

  19. #19
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    Smells are hard to handle. I have a really sweet regular, a little Guatemalan guy who arranges his whole weekend around coming in to see me. He comes in reliably every single weekend to spend $300-400 on me (including the club's take), so I definitely want to keep him. He never tries to touch me and he's always very pleasant... but his breath smells disgusting. I don't put him in the gross customer category at all! I just feel bad for the guys with halitosis who probably can't help it. My reg is always showered and clean and wearing cologne; he probably just can't control his nasty breath, poor guy.

  20. #20
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    Ugh bad breath is the worst! Especially stale Corona breath, but I know the kind of halitosis you are talking about.
    When those guys want a dance, I spend a lot of time NOT facing them.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    Yekefah,

    I know exactly what kind of bad breath you're talking about. He can help it if he were to go to a dentist and have a "deep cleaning" and periodontal treatment. I can bet you about 99% that he has gum disease (periodontal disease). I'm a dental hygienist and that's usually the cause of bad breath, besides certain foods, smoke or being homeless or something. I know exactly what you're talking about and it smells bad. I'm a dental hygienist by day and stripper by night and I know how bad that smells. I can smell it through my mask. What I've had to do is you know those bianaca breath sprays, I've sprayed that peppermint smell inside my mask just so I wouldn't smell it or rubbed my favorite bath & body works lotion on the inside not to smell it. Other than BO, I think bad breath is HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. #22
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    There was this guy who came into the peep show a night or two ago and was asking all these gross disturbing questions very straight faced. Like "have you ever fucked a dog?", "have you ever had an animal?", "Do you have any family that you fuck?". He's been there before asking other girls this shit. He was an older indian guy. I asked him if he liked a show so I can get 'nasty' in private. No he was cheap too and said no.
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  23. #23
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    I've sprayed breath spray directly in guys with nasty breath(beer and cigs...not halitosis...I dont want to embarass someone with an actual problem)

    The grossest thing I've ever seen was the guy who cathetorized himself with a drinking straw(yes, voluntarily). The WHOLE damn straw awas in there.....<<shudder>>

    or the lesbian in with her brother who were both wearing white t-shirts with blood on them (WTF???)..she kept telling me while I was on stage to put my clothes back on and that she was so scared for me because of all the bad people in the clubs...then she and her brother(againWTF??) got a dance and I had to keep a hand on her head to stop her trying to lick me....FREAKS
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  24. #24
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    ^ good ole florida

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Your Grossest Customer

    I've already told ya'll about poo eater guy...thankfully, I never gave him a dance.

    I we have a sweet regular who of course takes his cowboy hat off for a dance, his head smells exactly like vinegar and we give pretty close dances.

    I danced for a guy who seemed sweet, but the whole dance he kept yelling out OH CARLA, which is close but not exactly my stage name thankfully...this same old guy's long flaccid penie also crept out the bottom of his shorts during the dance. Yes, it touched me before I figured it out.

    I also avoid dancing for this one young guy who spasms while I give him a dance.

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