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Thread: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

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    Default Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    So I was at the dog wash (it's a dog grooming place where you do the work yourself, and just use their tubs and dog shampoo and stuff), when I noticed that a girl was kind of staring at me. I said "Hi" and we started talking.

    It was really strange because I thought she looked familiar but I couldn't place her. It turned out that we had actually taken our dogs to Puppy Preschool at the same time, 3 years before. I had actually told her about the dog washing place that we were at.


    We had had good conversations when we were at the Puppy Preschool 3 years ago, but at the time she was 17 and I was 19 so I never really wanted to ask her out. Plus I think she had lost about 20 pounds since I saw her before, probably from 140 to 120. So I was interested and got her phone number.

    We went out for coffee one time and when we started talking about work, she said that she worked hard, but wouldn't tell me what she did. It took me about 2 seconds to guess she was a Stripper, and she acted like I was a psychic or something.

    I found out what club she works at, and I wanted to hang out with her more. The problem is that we both work really hard, and the only times that I could take her out were friday and saturday nights when she is working. After about 3 weeks of not being able to get together, (honestly it was more my fault than hers), I decided to visit her at work when some of my friends wanted to go to a strip club.

    So I go to the club and I asked her for a dance and she said "No". (well actually she didn't say it, she just shook her head) I am really confused. Is this because she likes me? Or because she hates me?

    I was worried about the chance it was the second for some reason, and I didn't want to come across as weird or stalkerish so I didn't ask her.

    She hasn't called me since. But she did give me a hug when I went to leave the club.

    Right now I have called her a total of 3 times, she has called me 4 times, but she hasn't called me since I went to the club which was last Saturday. Should I call her again or just move on?

  2. #2
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Why did you ask her for a dance? Why did you even go to her place of work to hangout? I'd be mad at you too.

    The way I look at it, if a man companion *someone that I may possibly want to get close to eventually* pulled a stunt like that I'd treat you the same way that girl did. ARe you trying to make me your girl, or are you trying to be a customer? Maybe she is just questioning your motives for striking up a conversation with her in the first place. That's what I'd be thinking...







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    Featured Member Guenevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    I agree with cin. If you truly like her why don't you tell her that you know you made a mistake and that you were being a fool. That you respect her and would like to continue a realtionship (even if it is as friends) if she would. If you're sincere and she is interested then she might take you up on it. IMO, you were out of line and showed her disrespect by going in and then just added to it by asking for a dance.

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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Q: Did you mess up? A: Maybe, maybe not.

    The ladies will continue to point you in the right direction. You already have some sage council.

    I will tell you that if I actually thought I had a chance with a woman, that was a stripper. I would not go to see her at work. Especially when you have the means to contact her outside of her office. You have even contacted her outside the office before, in a non-customer role. Do you know how lucky you are? That is worth a fortune if you are a gentlman and treat her with respect.

    Sure, it is frustrating not being able to meet with her, but how would you feel if some woman showed up at your office during working hours, or your home. I'd be like OMG what is she doing here. I didn't invite her etc.... A lady that likes me seeking a computer repair might make me go OMG, but at the end of the day she is just getting a computer repair. You need to be aware of what service she is providing.

    Furthermore, do some searching on the site. There is information here that will forever change how you view the dancers, customers, and the world in general. You will turn up a whole slew of threads regarding the what, when, why, or how, of getting that date, you will also of corse find the why not, how not, will not, and the I don't think so threads.

    Your not a dead duck yet. She knows you have interest, so show her some respect. From my readings potential SOs do not pay with cash, and they don't receive services. You need to make an apology, and see if you can get a go ahead. You may just. Also, avoid her club if you do go out.

    If things do go well remember to respect and understand what she does.
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    One time I was talking to a guy at school and I told him I was a stripper. At that point the next thing he said was "My freinds having a party and maybe you could. . ." This seemed to change the conversation from being about me as a person to me as a stripper and it felt weird and uncomfortable. I avoided contact with him from then on. You can still save it possibly, but leave her job and your hanging out with her time very separate.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Never buy a dance from a woman you like, especially one who has expressed an interest in you already.

    It makes you a customer, and rules out dating her. She'll either get confused as to why you are doing the wrong thing, figure out you aren't good for dating because you are acting like a customer--and treat you like one, or tell you no because she still likes you even if you made a mistake. Take the hint...

    There are exceptions to every rule, but 99.99% of the time, this is the rule to follow.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Um, yes, honey you messed up. This nice and very young girl likes you, and obviously wants to be discreet about her job in her "outside" life, and you trot on in and exhibit her to all your friends? I'd just move on. Nobody wants a boy they like to come in and pay them to sexually stimulate them. Nobody wants a boy to come in and watch her do it for someone else. Most of all nobody wants a boy to come into her club and watch her get rejected by other guys. You've got to learn to read signals, honey. If she is trying to avoid discussing it, chances are good she doesn't want you there.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    After about 3 weeks of not being able to get together, (honestly it was more my fault than hers), I decided to visit her at work when some of my friends wanted to go to a strip club.
    Not the smart thing to do here.

    Too bad you can't turn back the hands of time, but you've tainted the environment now with this monumentally stupid move.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    ^ LOL...CO...but, I totally agree.

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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    MOVE ON.

    You didn't "Fuck up with a Stripper" you "Disrespected a girl you WERE dating" Here's the play by play:

    1. Girl displays personal boundry
    2. You cross it once for a brief moment.
    3. You cross it again by doing research about it and finding where she works.
    4. You cross it again by showing it to your friends and sharing the exploited personal boundry Biggest mistake.
    5. You cross it again by actually trying to perpetrate and be a consumer of that personal boundry.

    She liked you, but you gave her more than enough reason to be scared shitless of you.


    You're the reason why she keeps her job private.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  11. #11
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Dammit. why can't I ever make it as simple as CO?

    >>Nevermind figured it out.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    I completely agree with Jenny! What in the hell were you thinking...I guess you weren't.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    I think your intetions were romantic and i am a romantic so here is what you should of done you should have had flowers deliverd to the club for her from you with a note asking her is she would like to get breakfeast after work. That you never crossed the line by going in the club and they would have melted my heart you should try that it might be to late now.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Good luck... Good thing she understood... And pray to god she's not a member of this site!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    The title says it all. You don't want to know if you messed up with this great girl, you want to know if you messed up with a DANCER. You've made it clear you want to date a dancer but she doesn't want to date a customer.

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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Not only did you bring yourself you brought your friends. Sometimes as dancers we dont want your friends to know we dance. I heard bombs go off of your would be relationship when I read you went to her work.

    Leave her be. Theres plenty of other chics out there and keep looking. Next time, dont stalk her down at work even if she isnt a stripper. Be respectful of her if she doesnt want to tell you where she works.
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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    I would feel really uncomfotable if a guy I liked or was seeing came into see me at work.
    If he brought along all his pals to come see me at work without checkin it out with me first, I would not only feel uncomfortable, Id be humiliated.

    Do you even like this girl at all or are you just into her because she was a dancer??



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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    one thing i did not like about this post is that he was less inclined to be with her when she was heavier which is really shallow she is probaly better off with out him.

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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Agreed^^^



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

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    Featured Member Guenevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist
    The title says it all. You don't want to know if you messed up with this great girl, you want to know if you messed up with a DANCER. You've made it clear you want to date a dancer but she doesn't want to date a customer.
    Simply and truly put. Here, here!

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    ***NOTE: This should have posted BELOW OP's reply below****

    How did this happen in a DAY?!!

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by krchab99
    one thing i did not like about this post is that he was less inclined to be with her when she was heavier which is really shallow she is probaly better off with out him.
    Kind of an Odd thing to say, considering the motives of the entire stripping industry - shallow, that is.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Thank you for helping me understand why they feel they should keep their jobs to themselves. Among other things.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Hahahaha time flux!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I mess up with this Dancer?

    Second..
    I don't know if that one guy who thought I lost out on a the chance of a lifetime lives in Alaska or something but...... Strippers are basically 3 things as far as I can tell.

    1) attractive

    2) make a decent living

    3) generally have really good taste in music


    lol i am sorry that is just funny those are the 3 things strippers are lol

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