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Thread: I wish my family would just disown me already!

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    Angry I wish my family would just disown me already!

    All I ever do is worry about these people and it's never enough. It will never be enough until I move back in with my damn grandparents and happily work a mundane 9-to-5 and make them dinner every night. They didn't want me to get married, then they wanted to be there; they didn't want me to go to Australia, then they didn't want me to get a job in my field, then they didn't want me to get divorced or move to L.A. Now they've already decided, without meeting him, that they don't like my boyfriend, and he and I are going to spend a very uncomfortable week with them starting Friday.

    They think my ex was just the greatest thing in the world, G-d's gift to women, and now I'm with a tattooed, sushi-eating Los Angelino who doesn't support me even though we live together unmarried. I'm sure it's going to be all his fault we're not married, too, even though I DO NOT FUCKING WANT TO GET MARRIED AGAIN. You know what, I had Mr. Corporate Good Boy, who married me and supported me, and he treated me like a pet. You'd think my family would want me to be fucking HAPPY.

    And the worst thing is that they never actually say any of this shit to my face. They just do that Southern "oh how nice" thing to everything I say or do, and then talk shit behind my back. WTF, if it wasn't for these people, I'd still be in Australia where I was happy. But for all their insistence that they just want me to be happy, it's all bullshit. They want me to be happy doing what THEY want me to do! And I'm not going to be happy living with my fucking grandparents working some bullshit job in Memphis.

    Now they're talking about having me stay at my grandparents' house and my boyfriend staying at my mom's. Fuck that noise. Do they even realize how insulting that is? Like we can't conduct ourselves with dignity and respect in separate bedrooms in the same house? My mom seriously needs to come to grips with the fact that I am NOT a teenage virgin, I am a divorcee pushing thirty who has not lived under her roof for a decade.

    If I'm such a collossal disappointment to them, why do I even care what these people think or want? Why do I even bother to make them happy or go see them at all? All they ever do is criticize and make me crazy, so why don't they just disown me and let me go live my damn life?

    </rant>

  2. #2
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Well, I know you're just ranting...but you could always just disown them and get the jump on 'em.

    Seriously...stop living your life concerned about what others are saying. Your family obviously has nothing better to do than keep tabs on you and gossip about you. Just ignore them. Seriously. Let them have their drama and you concentrate on doing what makes you happy.

    Sorry you're going through this drama.


  3. #3
    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    I've learned to disown parts of my family from time to time in order to keep some sanity ---- and highly recommend it.

    Don't take it personally - they are dealing with their own insecurities of you not conforming to their own personal hells.

    Don't assume they don't accept you. Maybe they are silently wishing they were you.

    Wishing you the best Yek - you've an admirable spirit.


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
    It's about those moments which leave you breathless."

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Yeah, it's just that dammit, I DO care about them. I love them and I want them to be proud of me. I just wish they could be proud of me as I am, and not some manufactured Stepford version. I TRIED to play Happy Memphis Housewife, I really did. It was making me miserable. I wish they would take five seconds to actually think about it from my point of view, but I don't think they're even capable of that. My mom, especially. In her view, sex is something a woman trades for children and financial support (but somehow, prostitution is wrong - go figure). My living with a man who makes me happy and treats me like a full-fledged human being is somehow wrong; she'd rather I was cooking dinner for a husband who treats me like a silly child.

    I love my brothers, I love my grandparents, I even love my psycho-Catholic mother. I just wish they would fuck off and accept my life for what it is, and be happy when *I* am happy for once.

  5. #5
    Member KimmyHot1's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    I agree, I only matters what you think, who cares about what they think. Enjoy Life and have fun.

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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    At least it sounds like you have a cool boyfriend...

    I would just threaten my parents if I were you, because some day they are going to get really old and need to be taken care of. You will be able to do whatever you want with them, whether that's help them out at their house or move them to the shittiest rest home in the entire world. And it's up to you, so they better treat you with respect.

  7. #7
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Maybe I should tell them I'm a bisexual stripper and I adore my boyfriend because he shares my love of group sex. Maybe I should tell them about our happiest memories, like sharing lines of coke off a nineteen-year-old girl, or me making out with a girl in the orgy room at a swing club while her boyfriend fucked her and mine fucked me, surrounded by several other couples who were similarly engaged. Or that time in Pahrump, NV, when we visited the Chicken Ranch and shared a $1200 no-holds-barred threesome with a jet-black African prostitute (bonus points for my dad the racist). Maybe if I was COMPLETELY open and honest, they would realize how much they preferred the sanitized version of my life that they are currently privy to.
    Last edited by Yekhefah; 07-25-2006 at 06:07 PM.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Nah better not tell them about this but hey I'm all ears lol .

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    Maybe I should tell them I'm a bisexual stripper and I adore my boyfriend because he shares my love of group sex. Maybe I should tell them about our happiest memories, like sharing lines of coke off a nineteen-year-old girl, or me making out with a girl in the orgy room at a swing club while her boyfriend fucked her and mine fucked me, surrounded by several other couples who were similarly engaged. Or that time in Pahrump, NV, when we visited the Chicken Ranch and shared a $1200 no-holds-barred threesome with a jet-black African prostitute (bonus points for my dad the racist). Maybe if I was COMPLETELY open and honest, they would realize how much they preferred the sanitized version of my life that they are currently privy to.

  9. #9
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    Maybe I should tell them I'm a bisexual stripper and I adore my boyfriend because he shares my love of group sex. Maybe I should tell them about our happiest memories, like sharing lines of coke off a nineteen-year-old girl, or me making out with a girl in the orgy room at a swing club while her boyfriend fucked her and mine fucked me, surrounded by several other couples who were similarly engaged. Or that time in Pahrump, NV, when we visited the Chicken Ranch and shared a $1200 no-holds-barred threesome with a jet-black African prostitute (bonus points for my dad the racist). Maybe if I was COMPLETELY open and honest, they would realize how much they preferred the sanitized version of my life that they are currently privy to.
    Wow.. this is eerily similar to bedtime stories my Grandmother used to tell me.

  10. #10
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    You know, there's this amazing book I'm reading right now called "Don't let others rent space in your head" by Gary Coxe and I highly recommend it. Have you told them you're concerned that they're not accepting you for who you are? If you've told them and they're still trying to fit you into some mold... Punishment is in order. Tell them you'll accept them when they accept you... Or whatever you want to tell them with the same bottom line. If they're going to keep up the negativity while around you, you have happier things to do.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  11. #11
    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    As long as you are not going alone. Teach your man the motzi and birkat before you go, have him lead at every meal, see how they react to that.

  12. #12
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    My family's not Jewish, as much as they act like it. My mom is Catholic. I converted to Judaism several years ago. I wish the boyfriend was Jewish but that's another issue entirely.

    Thanks, everybody. I'm just going to take things as they come.

  13. #13
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    Maybe I should tell them I'm a bisexual stripper and I adore my boyfriend because he shares my love of group sex. Maybe I should tell them about our happiest memories, like sharing lines of coke off a nineteen-year-old girl, or me making out with a girl in the orgy room at a swing club while her boyfriend fucked her and mine fucked me, surrounded by several other couples who were similarly engaged. Or that time in Pahrump, NV, when we visited the Chicken Ranch and shared a $1200 no-holds-barred threesome with a jet-black African prostitute (bonus points for my dad the racist). Maybe if I was COMPLETELY open and honest, they would realize how much they preferred the sanitized version of my life that they are currently privy to.
    I you! Let me know next time you go out to the "Ranches". I'm game for some whore lovin'. Seriously.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Yek,

    You have a way you want to live, a life you need to lead, goals to achieve, and dreams to fulfil. Sounds like your family just wants you to follow thier dreams, and have not realized that it is your life.

    Trust me I know about families not likeing SOs. Most of my bring home dates (or dates in general) have been Asian. Grandfather would hear about it and have a fit if they were Japanese. He did not say anything to me, but I got it from everyone else.... I'm sure it scrwed up a few good things. Then there was the matter of the twins my mother forbid me to see. I think it was that they were young, and thier mother was a very odd lesbo. Funny I only thought of them as friends, they were just cute.

    I can't belive she thought I'd end up in a trheesome with them. As if that would have been a bad thing. Strangeness.
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    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    Maybe I should tell them I'm a bisexual stripper and I adore my boyfriend because he shares my love of group sex. Maybe I should tell them about our happiest memories, like sharing lines of coke off a nineteen-year-old girl, or me making out with a girl in the orgy room at a swing club while her boyfriend fucked her and mine fucked me, surrounded by several other couples who were similarly engaged. Or that time in Pahrump, NV, when we visited the Chicken Ranch and shared a $1200 no-holds-barred threesome with a jet-black African prostitute (bonus points for my dad the racist). Maybe if I was COMPLETELY open and honest, they would realize how much they preferred the sanitized version of my life that they are currently privy to.
    Awesome ! When can we hang out But seriously, maybe just put some distance between you and your family. You sound like you've got it together and you really shouldn't have to explain yourself. I'm sure they just want whats best for you and maybe they just don't realize that what they want for you isn't what will make you happy. .......and if it makes you feel any better ,most families have similar issues. My grandparents would DIE if they knew half of the shit I do.

  16. #16
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Southern! OH MY GOD. I am so there. I dealt with this crap for years and finally after some major drama said.. "fuck it"

    For the most part good advice has been given here - then again, only another southern individual knows EXACTLY what you are going through.
    Pm me darling if you need an ear, I have two and I'm willing to share.

    Bless yer heart. ( kidding )


    Breath, it will get better.
    Muahs!

  17. #17
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    ^^^^^Soooo true. Try this on for size. I was raised in the North, in the city but my family on BOTH sides is not only Southern but RURAL Southern from the farms!!! They think I'm from another planet.

    I just had a bizarre conversation with my step-grandma who used to be my great aunt (you do the math). My mother called her to complain about me. My mother neglected to tell her the abusive things she said to me. She just said that I'm out of control and stopped speaking to her. After explaining what was said on both sides my step-grandma said I should apologize even though I'm not wrong because she is my mother and I have to respect her. Even when she's verbally and emotionally abusive to me.

    Is that Southern dysfunctional enough for you? I keep a great amount of distance between most of them and myself. They love to take sides in disputes that don't concern them. But they hate standing up for the wronged party. In my family the older and male-er you are the greater your entitlement.

  18. #18
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Thanks, everybody. It's D-Day! We'll be at their place this afternoon for The Big Meeting and we'll be here for a week. Hopefully all will go well and my little brother is just stirring shit for no reason.

  19. #19
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    Poor Yef!

    seriously though, you are your own person, and while you will always love your family, you need to remember it's YOUR life.

    Good luck hunny!

    Oh, and especially good luck trying to find something kosher to eat down there! I have a hard enough time here in Indiana, much less Memphis; home of pork BBQ, lol!!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  20. #20
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I wish my family would just disown me already!

    They love him!

    My bro was just being a little shithead and trying to start a fire. Fucking teenagers.

    Kitana, great sig. I appreciate it. Solidarity is so important right now!

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