View Poll Results: Can men and women just be friends?

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  • YES

    60 78.95%
  • NO

    16 21.05%
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Thread: Can men and women just be friends?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member lethalsoul's Avatar
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    Default Can men and women just be friends?

    Can men and women just be friends?
    lethalsoul

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    depends if they're attractive.

  3. #3
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    I've found that it can happen as long as you don't look into it too much. If you start talking about how you could never see them as anything other than a friend, they start thinking too much and things are fucked. It's rejection on a very small level, but rejection nonetheless, and men are infamous for seeking the chase. It's honestly one of those things where if things are good, then don't talk about potentials. Also, don't tell a guy that he's a potential or that you'd be dating him if you weren't dating others.

  4. #4
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    From HBI's Dictionary of Dating:

    FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

    It's sooooo true!

  5. #5
    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    i think so...i've had a couple of male friends during my life that were nothing but platonic...these guys could best be described as "brotherish." meaning, i could get along with them, but was not attracted to them. also, but some of them might have been more acquaintences than friends. anyhow, i think it's possible, but it depends on the people involved...and the maintenence of the friend status. if one party wants something more, things become complicated, and then might have to be ended, especially if one person has a SO.

  6. #6
    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    Quote Originally Posted by Krazyjane
    From HBI's Dictionary of Dating:

    FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

    It's sooooo true!
    you hit the nail on the head! looking back, any male "friends" i had did not seem attractive to me in either appearence or personality (or both). much like brothers. hehe.

  7. #7
    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    yes, but, your friend may want to fuck you... if you can handle that, you can be friends

  8. #8
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    The trick is to have mutual platonic friendship on both sides, or be able to quell any existing feelings.

  9. #9
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    Yep. I have more male friends than female friends. Men keep things pretty simple as long as you get the whole "No I won't sleep with you" out of the way. Of course, a few will still try. Heh.

  10. #10
    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    All my best friends have been men. I don't get on well with women (guys are more upfront, I've found). The majority of my guy friends have been attractive men, with some that I would consider dating (but ruining a good friendship is not high on my list of things to do). I have had cases where my guy friends fall for me, but for the most part, we're still friends after.

  11. #11
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    Quote Originally Posted by Krazyjane
    From HBI's Dictionary of Dating:

    FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

    It's sooooo true!
    Usually yeah you're right, but not always.

    I have a few guy friends that I would so have hot monkey sex with (and vice versa) and we are friends and nothing more. Now of course we both haven't been drunk and horney together, so that probably explains it!
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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    I said yes, so long as I'm not attracted to the guy.


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  13. #13
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    What a silly question. Of course. If you can't be "just friends" with someone of the opposite sex, no matter how attractive they are, I think the problem is with you and not the nature of friendship (assuming hetero inclinations for all, of course).

  14. #14
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    I actually think it is really weird to assume that you can't be friends with someone you are attracted to.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  15. #15
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    "Relative" seems to strike close to me here. :/
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  16. #16
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    Yes. It's retarded to think you can't be friends with someone of the opposite sex.

    As far as the "attraction" thing goes, for what it is worth, the most loving relationships i have ever personally seen people in were people who were also friends as well. For what that's worth, anyway. Everyone sees different things.

  17. #17
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    Yes, but both friends have to just want friendship. It can get messy when one friend has romantic feelings for the other one and the other friend just wants to be friends.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    Can men and women just be friends? Yes.

    I know from my experience that this is true. I’ve had more female friends than male. I don’t really know why. I’m just wired that way. Perhaps they understand a part of me men don’t always get.

    I think it is only the experience with The Maiden that ever made me go away from women as friends. It does not help when she is one of the three people that could ever read my face and know my heart. Even my wife cannot do that.

    The Maiden incident is of course a case of mutual attraction, with a friend and allowing someone past the barriers. I know that she broke through my barriers, and I’m sure I let her just to see what could happen. That is the thing really. A friend of the opposite sex may well be attractive, but you don’t dwell on it. If you can talk, and get along, have fun together, you just control that part of your mind, tell it no, and get on with seeing your friend as a friend. Sure you can find them attractive, but you don’t act on it. You choose that you want them in your life as a friend. BlondeHottie, is hitting the nail on the head. Both parties agree to the relationship. Sometimes that agreement is explicit, and sometimes implicit. I know a lot of men that want more than just friends. As you know I’ve met at least one woman that wanted more than friends.

    I have learnt a lot since the Maiden, and remember fondly the women that were fun to be with, made me think, and let me into their lives, I like to think I did the same for them. I know my life is incomplete without a few good female friends, in addition to the male friends that I have. I have the need and desire for both male and female friends. I do not think there is anything wrong with that at all.
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  19. #19
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    I voted NO even tho' I have been friends with a certain male (and lived with him) for over 7 years now. Why? Even with this male there have been times (in the past now) where I had to establish that he would not be getting into my panties. We were and always will be friends. I even re-iterate this by saying how much I think of him as a brother now and it would just be weird doing anything of that sort with a brother.... just so he knows where I stand with him and me.

    In all my friendships with males (which have been ALOT as I have a hard time relating to females except on an "acquaintence" or "work collegue" level) all of them at one time or another in the friendship have always pushed for 'more'.............hence the reason I voted NO.

    Even those who have decided to be friends with me after I denied them... will try again at another time... men and women can only be and stay friends if neither party is attracted to each other otherwise you have to keep establishing the boundaries with each other.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    Actually, I have been there before GCG. I have been both the man trying to get into the panties, and the man whose boxer contents have been desired. Yes it has happened more than with The Maiden.

    After a while I figured out that if a woman is going to be in my life, and I want her there, we have to have boundaries. Even if there is a one-way attraction there, I can’t allow myself to see them sexually, even if I have to think of them as my sister. It did take some learning I’ll have to add.

    I remember a board I used to frequent, and this one girl always loved my posts, especially if I said something that was a double entendre or just plain funny. Maybe she was just a CRB fan-girl? I never liked her any other way than a friend, she was quite fun in that virtual way. She eventually emailed me for about 2 months and then gained my icq number. It was always friendly, and I let her know that is the only way I could like her. We would often chat, about work (same industry, and compatible ethics, usually a bitch-moan about our daily shit), about what we liked to do, or where we had been, about the funny posts or comments we would leave. Eventually we got to the point where we would talk about our personal lives.

    It was fun to talk, but that is all there was for me. She pressed for more and more details about my life. She kept suggesting we meet. She sent me her photo and wanted one in return. I think I sent her one with my wife and me. Once she found out that I was a loyal married man and could not snare me, she never spoke to me again. Pity she missed out on a good friend.

    I may not be happily married these days, but it is something I’m trying to repair. I value my word, and that is why it is never given rashly, or hastily. I’m not quite the person I’ve been for the last few years or so. That is a good thing. I’ve regained a lot of my old strength and earned some new strength as well. I have begun to value myself, for being me. I know I have not yet reached my destination. The fact I am heading towards the destination is getting me through the day. Previously the only thing getting me through the day was a son’s need for his father. I know it will be a long hard journey. I like having women in my life, even if it will never lead to anything more. That is enough for me. You do have to realize that men and women don’t always see things from the same way, and the opinion or advice of the opposite sex can be very important.

    I’d rather have the friendship of a few good men and women then just men. There have always been and will always be men and women that want to be more than friends, and will use the friends ploy to get what they want. We have to recognize this, and deal with it. There are some out there that will prove themselves friends, and others wannabe lovers. Not always easy this life thing. I tend to think the journey is worth it these days.
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  21. #21
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl
    I voted NO even tho' I have been friends with a certain male (and lived with him) for over 7 years now. Why? Even with this male there have been times (in the past now) where I had to establish that he would not be getting into my panties. We were and always will be friends. I even re-iterate this by saying how much I think of him as a brother now and it would just be weird doing anything of that sort with a brother.... just so he knows where I stand with him and me.

    In all my friendships with males (which have been ALOT as I have a hard time relating to females except on an "acquaintence" or "work collegue" level) all of them at one time or another in the friendship have always pushed for 'more'.............hence the reason I voted NO.

    Even those who have decided to be friends with me after I denied them... will try again at another time... men and women can only be and stay friends if neither party is attracted to each other otherwise you have to keep establishing the boundaries with each other.
    I think, to a degree, part of the reason why we're "friends" with someone is because we see something we like in them. That like may lead to attraction.

    I think the problem, and main reason why people vote no, is because some people use that word as a cap. Which, honestly, is pretty disrespectful. If you're a female, and you're my friend, that doesn't mean you'll never be anything more but at the same time, if I'm not interested, I don't lead on a "friendship" with "mixed signals".

    Just quoting you GCG because you made me think of it in a good way. The question that may be more appropriate to this thread is "Can you just be friends with someone you're sexually attracted to?" And that all depends on the person's level of self control, sense of reality and respect for the other person involved.

    -Mast
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  22. #22
    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    Just quoting you GCG because you made me think of it in a good way. The question that may be more appropriate to this thread is "Can you just be friends with someone you're sexually attracted to?"
    kinda like this poll: http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=62957

  23. #23
    Senior Member Jenna*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    i voted no because my best friend is male , and then we ruined it by falling in and eventually out of love with each other. now i hate him for hurting me (and i hate the fact that i hate my best friend) he still wants to be friends but i can't do it lately....


    so guys and gals can be friends, just don't cross the line because the friendship will be ruined if you try to cross back.

  24. #24
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    I voted yes. Definatly - I have always had more male friends than female and probably always will have. I dont see what attraction has to do with anything, just like it makes no difference with other friends I have who just happen to be female and lesbian. Either way if there is ever attraction I have always managed to keep thefirendship regardless (-:

  25. #25

    Default Re: Can men and women just be friends?

    I'm a guy using my gf's account on here (was looking for music ideas)...I say no. I don't think any guys would waste their time with a girl if they didn't have some sort of attraction to them. My gf thinks the opposite as me. It's come up before with us.

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