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Thread: His Female Friend

  1. #1
    Veteran Member oulala's Avatar
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    Default His Female Friend

    I need opinions from you wise ones here on stripperweb.

    Alright, marriage is looming (however far, far in the distance) in the future between me and my boy. Maybe you remember my post about how young is too young to get married. He got the ring.

    And, well, he put it on my finger - and I said yes - and suddenly that changed the whole dynamic for me. For one thing, I am scared. Yeah, bad sign, eh? So soon. This started after we got back from our pretty trip where he proposed officially.

    He has this female friend that has always been in the picture for him. It's been an unrequited love thing although mutual on both parties. They've just always been with other people. Though, he admit to me that through all of his past relationships, he's always wanted to be with her instead. He assures me its different with me, that he's never loved anyone as much and wants to be with no one else. All that jazz.

    But, she's always been there for him, and what I'm afraid of (since they keep in pretty close contact and he's already talked to her about things I'd rather him NOT talk to her about... about my wavering) is that when things get rocky, he's gonna go to her and she's gonna be the one to comfort him.

    I'm already getting a crystal clear idea that maybe I rushed into it too soon for me. He's rushing it. I don't know why he wants to get married so bad. For whatever reason she didn't "threaten" me before he put the ring on me, and as soon as he did, it's like EVERYTHING is starting to scare the shit out of me.

    At least it's still early... but still.

  2. #2
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: His Female Friend

    Guys have female friends. That shouldn't be making you feel insecure.

    Either there is something going on inside your own soul - or you read he really isn't ready either.

    Before you get married, I believe there is some deep questions asked by ministers and judges of the peace, etc. Have you gone through that yet?

  3. #3
    Veteran Member oulala's Avatar
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    Default Re: His Female Friend

    No, we haven't done any of that yet... I'm stalling on making any real plans because of this.

    14 months ago my boyfriend of 3 years died in a car accident. It was excruciatingly painful for me to go through. Since then things that never scared me before now terrify me. Maybe that's messed me up...

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: His Female Friend

    I'm sorry, but if you are having second thoughts, don't ignore them.

    I would say it's pretty bizarro of him to tell a girlfriend that one of his best friends is a girl that he's so in love with and wanted to be with for a long time...but the circumstances never worked out that way...someone that he's in close contact to and talks to about everything. I'm sorry, but that would put me on edge, as well.

    The whole, "I would fuck her if I had a chance...oh, well...except now...I wouldn't cuz you're so groovy." That just wouldn't work with me.

    If you are feeling that this is being rushed along...then slow down. You've suffered a great loss 14 months ago (which isn't that long ago) and make sure that being with this new guy is really what you WANT and not what you think you NEED to "rebound" from your losing your guy.

    Whatever the reasons are for...if you have any uncomfortable feelings about this...look into it.

    Good luck!

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: His Female Friend

    ^^^ Fucking eh. I completely agree with Venus (shudder ) - Ya all need the hard sit down talk yet.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: His Female Friend

    Quote Originally Posted by oulala
    I don't know why he wants to get married so bad.

    That question indicates your true feelings and why you two should NOT get married at all.

    Mast
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    DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member oulala's Avatar
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    Default Re: His Female Friend

    ^^^ Heh, good point. I do see why he wants to get married. I don't see why he's been rushing it.

    Thank you Venus, that's exactly what I was thinking. Thing is though he has never given me reason not to trust him. He's never screwed up in anyway way (except this glaringly obvious one!) ... He treats me like gold. If I asked him to jump, he would ask how high. I have no doubt that he would do absolutely anything for me and because of the way he was raised, he claims he would never, ever hurt or disrespect a woman in such a way.

    I'm not used to being treated so good. It's a huge difference from the way my last boyfriend did... he cheated on me, emotionally abused me, made me feel like I was never good enough. My boy now makes me feel so beautiful and never makes me feel like I might not be enough for him. This makes me not wanna throw it all away... and also makes me wonder if maybe my past has made me paranoid of being hurt again...

    I've talked to him about it. He tells me not to worry about it and then lists all these reasons why I shouldn't doubt him.

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: His Female Friend

    Trust your instincts and give it some more time before you get married. I don't think anyone ever regretted waiting, but many many people regret doing it too quickly.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: His Female Friend

    Quote Originally Posted by oulala
    I have no doubt that he would do absolutely anything for me and because of the way he was raised, he claims he would never, ever hurt or disrespect a woman in such a way.
    If promises and wishes were hugs and kisses...


    Look like a woman
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    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  10. #10
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: His Female Friend

    When you ask why he wants to get married so bad, my first thought is he wants to give himself more of a barrier between him and the girl friend. If he's married, it will be unthinkable to cheat on you with her. Maybe he's trying to push himself away from his friend.

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