This is just a little rant. It'll make me feel better, and maybe some of you can relate?
I'm living at home right now... At first I thought i'd move right out to a city after I finished school...and then I thought "eh, i'll just spend the summer at home, and move in the fall," and now it's "shoot, i'm going to be living at here for the fall!"
Plans have changed sooo quickly....I figured out some future school things, etc,etc, and with all that going on, it was hard for me to concentrate on "ok, so why don't I apply for a loan now to take courses in the fall, and move my butt out to the city...find a place..." Part of me thinks, "it will be too much of a brain overload to figure that all out now...loans, finding a place to rent,to go to school in a different state, as a non-degree student just to finish the prereqs, if the deadline for fall classes hasn't passed already, at a cheaper accredited school..... So, why don't I just stick around here for the fall, save lots of money on rent, on top of getting free food...and then i'll have plenty of time to coordinate a move, loans, register for courses before the deadlines, etc.?"
ANother part of me thinks, "you're being lazy and afraid! just find some school, even if it's a pricey one, whose fall deadline hasn't passed, and take out a loan...maybe I can get one for the fall? and just have the excitement of the city that I crave, etc etc."
But it looks like i'll opt to take things somewhat easy, just stick around here for the fall, instead of rushing to move out...i'd only have a month, my brain might overload!![]()
But I hate it here sooo much! THis town lacks energy...it's boring, it's not for excited, young, curious people, not at all. It makes me feel depressed. Jeez, if not for the internet and books, I'd dig a hole for myself already.
I hate the antics at home...lack of privacy...my sibling is, although a little older than me, a total introvert...she's useless for having fun with! Sometimes when my mom gets angry, she says really mean stuff that's totally unfair... I don't feel like there's really much stimulation at home...your brain can atrophy here...does that make sense? Nothing exciting...
A really bad thing that happened recently...my mom has been prying into my phone and credit card bill...and she decided to close the account of my credit card! i'm not sure if she closed my entire account (the checkings, savings, and credit card) or just credit card...she's not being clear on it! How could that be done, if she wasn't a cosigner or whatever on my credit card? Why did the bank give her that authority to do that? That's totally wrong... I'm still confused about it...and will ask my mom now (she said she wanted to finish up watchign somethign on tv before she'd talk to me...pfff!)
I think what I'll do for now is get a P.O Box (it's only around 37 dollars for a 6 month period), so then I don't have to worry about my mail getting opened.
I guess i'll just have to stick it out....for now... I'm too old to be living at home in an environment like that...where i'm sometimes totally disrespected, I don't have much privacy, etc etc...I should really promise to myself that i'll move out by the time January rolls around! And I need to promise to myself that i'll constantly be trying to find ways to make home living a little more live-able...whatever that'd be.
thanks for listening![]()



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And it's not fun having to try to regain composure and get my thoughts straight.
e. But the bills have been adding up. But I think either this Friday or by next Friday i'll i'll try to juggle all of this in addition to getting my butt out and dancing. I think now the other things are stable enough for me to go out and do some dancing on the side. I just need to be secretive about it...or else my mom actually might throw me out on the curb! I keep all my dance gear, etcetera in a padlocked trunk in my room. 
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