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Thread: rant:living at home,for me,stinks!

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    Default rant:living at home,for me,stinks!

    This is just a little rant. It'll make me feel better, and maybe some of you can relate?

    I'm living at home right now... At first I thought i'd move right out to a city after I finished school...and then I thought "eh, i'll just spend the summer at home, and move in the fall," and now it's "shoot, i'm going to be living at here for the fall!"
    Plans have changed sooo quickly....I figured out some future school things, etc,etc, and with all that going on, it was hard for me to concentrate on "ok, so why don't I apply for a loan now to take courses in the fall, and move my butt out to the city...find a place..." Part of me thinks, "it will be too much of a brain overload to figure that all out now...loans, finding a place to rent,to go to school in a different state, as a non-degree student just to finish the prereqs, if the deadline for fall classes hasn't passed already, at a cheaper accredited school..... So, why don't I just stick around here for the fall, save lots of money on rent, on top of getting free food...and then i'll have plenty of time to coordinate a move, loans, register for courses before the deadlines, etc.?"
    ANother part of me thinks, "you're being lazy and afraid! just find some school, even if it's a pricey one, whose fall deadline hasn't passed, and take out a loan...maybe I can get one for the fall? and just have the excitement of the city that I crave, etc etc."
    But it looks like i'll opt to take things somewhat easy, just stick around here for the fall, instead of rushing to move out...i'd only have a month, my brain might overload!
    But I hate it here sooo much! THis town lacks energy...it's boring, it's not for excited, young, curious people, not at all. It makes me feel depressed. Jeez, if not for the internet and books, I'd dig a hole for myself already.
    I hate the antics at home...lack of privacy...my sibling is, although a little older than me, a total introvert...she's useless for having fun with! Sometimes when my mom gets angry, she says really mean stuff that's totally unfair... I don't feel like there's really much stimulation at home...your brain can atrophy here...does that make sense? Nothing exciting...
    A really bad thing that happened recently...my mom has been prying into my phone and credit card bill...and she decided to close the account of my credit card! i'm not sure if she closed my entire account (the checkings, savings, and credit card) or just credit card...she's not being clear on it! How could that be done, if she wasn't a cosigner or whatever on my credit card? Why did the bank give her that authority to do that? That's totally wrong... I'm still confused about it...and will ask my mom now (she said she wanted to finish up watchign somethign on tv before she'd talk to me...pfff! )
    I think what I'll do for now is get a P.O Box (it's only around 37 dollars for a 6 month period), so then I don't have to worry about my mail getting opened.
    I guess i'll just have to stick it out....for now... I'm too old to be living at home in an environment like that...where i'm sometimes totally disrespected, I don't have much privacy, etc etc...I should really promise to myself that i'll move out by the time January rolls around! And I need to promise to myself that i'll constantly be trying to find ways to make home living a little more live-able...whatever that'd be.
    thanks for listening

  2. #2
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: rant:living at home,for me,stinks!

    I feel bad for ya. Know that you are NOT alone in this kind of situation. More and more young people are discovering themselves in this situation and it has nothing to do with their doing.

    Regarding your accounts and your mom - I would be on the phone with the fucking bank making sure all was well - and if not - ask em how come someone not associated with the account was able to close it. Then say re-open it NOW or give me your legal department's contact information for my lawyer.

    I would be VERY surprised if the bank closed any of your accounts where you are the sole account holder. If your mom's name was on it - they might have.

    P.O. Box and a lock box and shredder from Office Max should do you fine.

    Like I said, I feel bad for ya. You are in a spot and it is perfectly valid to feel that way.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: rant:living at home,for me,stinks!

    OOOOOH sorry, I know how much it can suck to live the rents. If your mom really did close your account, perhaps she pretended to be you over the phone maybe?? They could NOT close it legally if you are the only name listed on the account. Just remember this is just yet another phase in your life that will be over soon, and SAVE SAVE SAVE and get the hell out of there!
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

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    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: rant:living at home,for me,stinks!

    We are the boomerang generation, falling back on our parents. I'm doing the same. Until I find a roommate, I'm living with my aunt and uncle. It's not as bad as your situation, da, as I don't have siblings or prying parents. However, I rarely go out b/c I live away from school and stuff and gas is hitting $3/gallon, and I have to put up with my aunt's temper tantrums (she's the psycho kind who is addicted to self help books yet never practices what she preaches and gets furious when you can't figure out what she wants).

    Anyone in Houston looking for a roommate?

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    Default Re: rant:living at home,for me,stinks!

    thanks everyone for your replies.

    When the credit card offices are open tommorrow, i'll definitely give them a call and ask them to re-open the account, tell them it was my mom, not myself, who asked to get it closed. Hopefully they'll re-open it.
    And yes, that CC account only has my name on it, I opened it myself.
    My mom has the nerve to go prying in there, and not even offer to pay for my bills! What will her belittling me do? I could understand it if she were paying my bills, then she might be entitled to chew me out a bit for some expenses that were not too necessary ( a 62.00 nail bill, for example). But maybe if living at home weren't so stressful, i'd be less likely to need to do something therapeutic like get a pedicure...
    Another thing that gets me is she mentioned, "you don't pay room and board here!"...implying she'd want me to pay up something. But the thing is, in the beginning, she was the one telling me "I want you on a tight leash! I want you to get those courses done...(the prereqs for grad school apps)..here...I don't want you in NY running around..." to put this in perspective, I should mention that my mom always was very overprotective and worries a lot in general. So she sort of encouraged me to live at home...but then when she gets angry she tries to turn tables... She never said I'd have to pay room and board! I think she was just trying to ruffle my feathers by saying that and didn't really mean it, but still, that's not right... it really, really upset me, you know, in this way: And it's not fun having to try to regain composure and get my thoughts straight.
    Another thing I should do is open up another credit card, not for frivolous spending, but to help bounce my cc and phone bills back and forth...while I slowly pay them off. This way, I avoid paying high interest fees...but yes, i'll be careful. I forgot to add: right now, i'm not dancing, just because I was figuring out some pretty big "am I gonna be this or that profession...now what schools to apply to, what courses to take as prereqs, how much do they cost, will salliemae cover it?, " It's both exciting, time consuming, and stressful at the same time e. But the bills have been adding up. But I think either this Friday or by next Friday i'll i'll try to juggle all of this in addition to getting my butt out and dancing. I think now the other things are stable enough for me to go out and do some dancing on the side. I just need to be secretive about it...or else my mom actually might throw me out on the curb! I keep all my dance gear, etcetera in a padlocked trunk in my room.
    Oh, one thing that was sorta funny: my mom asked me about a charge at a place that really was a hotel...she thought me and the guy i'm currently seeing went there to just eat...the amount came up to 189.00... it's like...dinner wouldn't cost that much unless we went to an uber expensive steakhouse...or four seasons... She was like, "why are you paying for his dinner!...he shoudl pay for it!." blah blah blah. I thankfully was smart enough to not say "but that was for the room charge"...Sometimes I wonder if my mom is truly naive or not. Does she think i'm a nice little virgin still? (and by the way, I now have an agreement with my guy that if he comes to visit me...b/c we live a couple of states apart, we'll split the hotel costs in half). and I wonder what'd happen if she'd find out i'm stripping!
    And then she asks to put me on the family plan for the phones...so that'd save me money...she'd pay the bills....but I don't dare to since i'm very suspicious that she would end up looking up the numbers i'm calling. And soon, when i'll be gone on weekends stripping out-of-state, she might get really suspicious (although i'll just tell her i'm working at my old job...) and call up the numbers she sees on my bill.... So I wouldn't dare get myself on her family plan! I just need to make sure to call up all my bill companies and ask them to change the mailling address to the po box.
    I'll definitely be sure to save! Try to avoid being frivolous too much, but do treat myself a little once in a while... And then get my butt out of there! It's not worth the stuff I have to put up with. Too much negative energy.
    But darn am I glad that I have an outlet for my frustrations! SW is wonderful! As are some other sources on the internet!

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    Default Re: rant:living at home,for me,stinks!

    Okay. First of all, what do you want to do? Do you want to live at home and get free meals and free rent and free hassling from Mom, or do you want to go to school in the city? Once you answer that question, go to the next.

    If you'd prefer to stay at home in your boring town, getting hassled by your mother, then ignore the rest of this post.

    Do you want to go to school? Yes or no. Then apply for loans and courses. If your deadlines have passed for fall, do it for winter. If you need to take pre-requisite courses, then sign up for them.

    Once you've applied for the school of your choice, start looking for an apartment. There are a ton of rental sites out there: rent.net, apartments.com, rent.com, springstreet.net, and through the local papers, which can help you look for apartments wherever you'd like. Most have virtual tours and you can call or email and make appointments to view them. If you have to travel to these apartments, make several appointments over the course of a couple days and take a short trip to view and sign a lease.

    Now for the most important things you can do:

    1. Get a PO box and forward your mail there.
    2. Create a budget for yourself and build "fun money" into it. Don't go over this budget.

    I know what it's like to have a mother like yours, believe me. My mom used to pull all kinds of crap like that, too--act horrified at the idea of my moving out, then scream about how I was dependent on her and living at home. Open my mail and bitch about the money I was spending. More than once, she THREW AWAY MY PAYCHECK because it was "just sitting on the counter taking up space, and I had to clear it off!" (Because a piece of paper sitting on the counter that says "Pay to the order of" and a dollar amount clearly has no value.) Yeah. She's a manipulative bitch. And the best way to beat those at their own game is to not give them any openings or opportunities to manipulate.

  7. #7
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: rant:living at home,for me,stinks!

    If you are openning another credit card to help pay off a credit card - you are already in credit trouble! Might want to stop by Dollar Den.

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