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Thread: The Purina Diet

  1. #1
    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default The Purina Diet

    I have a dog & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

    A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

    Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

    I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.



    (my mom just sent me this hahha)





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  2. #2
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    Default Re: The Purina Diet

    OMG.... That is awesome.... I am totally going tell someone that tonight..... (if you don't mind, of course)

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Purina Diet

    Oh My God that's funny!!! I nearly fell out.

  4. #4
    Cally
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    Default Re: The Purina Diet

    Hey I dont like people posting my personal private diet!

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Purina Diet

    El Oh El.... that's priceless!!!
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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Purina Diet





    My God that's the funniest thing I've heard all day!!!

  7. #7
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Purina Diet

    Holy shit, I pull that shit all the time, but I try to deliver it so shortly after the shock we can all laugh, I try not to be mean. But I love misdirection humor. Yesterday I went to the tanning salon and a girl asked me if I was going tanning, and I said, "No ma'am, I just can't find a grill that will bbq the ribs just how I like em."

    It wasn't as good as I hoped, but that's the most recent. My favorite is when this girl at my gym was talking about her new preggo belly and how her belly button just popped, I asked if she was sure if the baby was hers yet or not.

    But I'm angered cause I heard it on FG once and now I feel unoriginal.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  8. #8
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Purina Diet

    LMAO oh god, that's hilarious. Love it!
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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