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Thread: ethics (my work is fucked up and i need advice)

  1. #1
    Curious Guest babyvamp5's Avatar
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    ethics (my work is fucked up and i need advice)

    i work at a pasties bar where we tip $10 to the dj and $5 security.. no lapdances where i work.... girls don't typically make much where i work because of the "no lapdances" factor (not allowed in parts of ventura county),, usually around $100-150...
    i dont work at lapdance clubs because i am terrified of lapdancing and dont trust men enough to get that close to them. i like the type of club i work in because it is all dance on stage, and skill pays off. there are very few clubs like this in soCal

    apparantly no one except a couple of us who work there takes their job seriously. its more of a place to either get out of the house and have the only social life these girls have ever had, or for fat burnouts to go die. no joke on the fat part. i've been told i'm the best looking, and most talented one there...i dont find myself a hotshot or anything, but i take my job seriously and have found that improving my dancing and pole tricks at this job has literally paid off. i make more than anyone else there.
    because no one recognizes the place as their JOB, these girls are out of control, taking 3-4 songs to get on stage for their turn, leaving a lot of time that a dancer is not on stage, getting ridiculously drunk every night and practically passing out on stage, and most of them are the most unintelligent, underachieved idiots i've ever met.
    i'm sorry to sound mean, but i'm the only one there who went to college, dont' have a drug or drinking problem, and dont have a kid who was taken from me by the state etc...
    and not only the girls, but our bartender is out of control (see last paragraH) and our security doesnt help at all when there is a customer posing as a threat.
    (i.e. one time a customer reacher over the rail and tried to grab my breasts. i told security imediately and he said "i didnt see it" and the guy was allowed to stay without a warning..
    i want to stay there because i'm the only one who makes money sometimes..and i like the majority of customers.. but im usually annoyed by other dancers etc making my job harder..

    ok, the most frustrating quality of the other dancers is that they know when their turn is, and take FOREVER to get their ass on stage..they are either smoking pot, gossiping, or eating. and its really annoying. the reason it bothers me is that if everyone's being slow, it takes longer for the rotation to start over after everyone's had their turn=less time to make more money since out tips are only stage tips
    i feel like going crazy when this happens because i have bills to pay and dont have govt. checks coming each month in the mail like the rest of them. i've addressed this to the djs and they try telling the girls to hurry and they just yell at the dj and say theyll go up when they feel ready but if the dj skips over them to the next girl they go as far as going and stopping the music (pushing buttons on the equipment) and throwing fits. and get away with it. w. t. f?!?
    i've made less lately in the past 2 weeks because of this getting worst

    this last night i made almost 3x as much as i usually do and the bar got mad at me because i didnt share the wealth. i'm not required to tip the bartender and she got mad that i didnt, and she didnt make as much as she usually does in tips.
    Oh, one thing about security, the other girls dont tip him because they dont like him...i tip him every night..and he's mad because i didnt tip an outrageous amount.
    ok, i earned my money. i got up on stage and busted my ass. i talked to customers, i did my job... i got lucky because i made more and a lot of it was from a specific customer who thought i was the prettiest one there..so he tipped me about $100 total that night. and i tipped everyone i was supposed to.
    am i supposed to tip more? in ways i feel that's unnecessary because of my above reasons, and if i tipped everyone including someone extra, i'd make out with less..and it would be as if i didnt make more than average. why should i share. they didnt dance for it..

    *******
    this other part is slightly off topic but i wanted to bring it up because i brought up the bartender...

    our bartender often enjoys dancing behind the bar for attention, which, when we were under a different management, she wasn't allowed to do because it distracts attention from dancers and creates an unnecessary competition..
    lately she's been climbing onstage when one of us dancers (including myself) is performing and dancing around and demanding 1/2 the tips, or running off with some of our money. no one else calls this out because my fellow dancers are cowards and too preoccupied with their social lives and reputations at work as friends/popular to resolve it. but they complain in the locker room about it nonstop. i have asked her not to go on my stage because i dont want her there and i genuinely love to dance and i cant' concentrate with her flouncing around and taking a few dollars here and there. she's a spoiled brat at work because the managers let her get away with anything so she doesnt respect my feelings against what she does and hasnt stopped it. getting mad that i didnt share my wealth last night topped it off.


    this is not the first club i've worked i've worked nude clubs that were 100x more professional and girls would NEVER behave this way. i was taught that being a dancer is like being a hostess in a way. you are a lady when you work not a total psychobitch. when the girl before you's song is done you get onstage immediatly after and get off stage as quickly as possible when you're done.
    i can't believe how much gets overlooked at my work and dont know what to do.

    any suggestions before i go insane?

  2. #2
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: ethics (my work is fucked up and i need advice)

    Um... I'd find a new club?
    First, I'd suggest that if you are terrified of men to the degree that you can't give a lapdance that perhaps you are in the wrong line of work. You are giving yourself a very low income ceiling on a job that is meant to be very lucrative (or have the potential to be very lucrative). Something to consider. I could make $100 a day as a receptionist, and have the opportunity to be promoted in a year or two. Oh, and benefits. Something to consider. This isn't critical - I'm not being mean to you. Seriously. You just really need to consider how little $100 is, and why you would engage in this kind of work with it's personal and social downsides and stigma and lack of upward mobility for it.

    Second I would suggest that you should maybe find another club. You can't go in to a club where the majority of girls behave in one way and insist that your way is better (even if it seems obvious that it is) and tell everyone to do things your way. Just doesn't work. Also, related to the point above - it is not surprising that a club with that kind of earning potential has a lot of burnouts.

    Third - I hate mandatory tipouts, and unless someone has served me unusually well never tip above the minimum (beause tipping is about what the other person does for you, not how much you made. The bartender doesn't help you make money). So I get it. However, don't be surprised when people get annoyed. The bartender - I would tell her nicely that you like to the have the stage to yourself. But again, she wants the money and is going to be pissed off. You're right, they are not, but it's hardly surprising. I would hold firm on that, and just let everyone be mad.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: ethics (my work is fucked up and i need advice)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Um... I'd find a new club?
    First, I'd suggest that if you are terrified of men to the degree that you can't give a lapdance that perhaps you are in the wrong line of work. You are giving yourself a very low income ceiling on a job that is meant to be very lucrative (or have the potential to be very lucrative). Something to consider. I could make $100 a day as a receptionist, and have the opportunity to be promoted in a year or two. Oh, and benefits. Something to consider. This isn't critical - I'm not being mean to you. Seriously. You just really need to consider how little $100 is, and why you would engage in this kind of work with it's personal and social downsides and stigma and lack of upward mobility for it.
    Maybe she'd rather deal with horny loser customers than a horny loser boss, and would rather be honest about what earns her paycheck rather than pretend that she was hired for her skills in an office.

    Love the way you girls think "office work" is somehow more kosher than stripping. At least in a strip club you aren't taking jobs away from better qualified women who happen not to look as good as you.

    Love how all these "nice" dancers have no problem profiting from civil rights violations against others. Yeah, that's the type of woman I'd want raising MY kids.

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    Senior Member jackie555's Avatar
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    Default Re: ethics (my work is fucked up and i need advice)

    Yeah time for a new club. I don't know if there are many no lapdance clubs, but maybe you could find a club that does mostly table dances out in the open. You income will AT LEAST double and you won't have to be secluded with a man you don't trust. If you research your clubs well, you will know which ones really don't allow extras and those where the bouncers take care of any inappropriate customers immediately.
    I agree with Jenny... I don't think I'd enjoy parading around in a thong and pasties for $100 a night, doesn't sound worth it. You may want to rethink your limits (lapdance wise) or maybe rethink your job. I know shooters girls and waitresses at nice topless clubs make a lot (especially the clubs where they dress as skimpy as the dancers.)
    Something to think about.

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    Senior Member BlindGroping's Avatar
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    Default Re: ethics (my work is fucked up and i need advice)

    Does the owner or manager of the club give a crap?
    I'm here just for the food.

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: ethics (my work is fucked up and i need advice)

    I worked at a club like that. I was 20, size 2, and Asian amongst a bunch of retired strippers who should have retired with dignity years ago. Many of them were straight out human trash. No matter how nice I tried to be, everyone was hostile. They were all jealous bitches who terrorized me and eventually drove me out. The club was horrible too. There were no bouncers, and nobody to watch the lapdance room. I got the hell outta there and went to a better club. I had to drive an hour to and an hour from, but oh well. It was worth it. I suggest you do the same.

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    Default Re: ethics (my work is fucked up and i need advice)

    Find a new club! I concur with Jenny's post. Lapdancing isn't bad at all, and your money will be a lot better. If you're still not comfortable doing lap dances, find a table dancing club. There are several clubs that have table dances with no contact or very little contact. Good luck!

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    Featured Member Guenevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: ethics (my work is fucked up and i need advice)

    There is nothing that can be done about the employees and dancers behavior. Unfortunately, that's just the way the industry is. Some clubs have fantastic management or owners, some don't, there's nothing that you can do to change it. If you're that unhappy then it's time to find a new club, if you don't want to do that then you just have to deal with it and try to ignore what you don't like. This kind of story is definitely not a rare occurrence, just the way it is sometimes.

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