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Thread: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    So anyway, I posted a thread awhile back about a dancer that I've been seeing. Things were going really well for about a month. We were going out a lot, seeing a lot of each other, and fucking like rabbits. I kind of felt like a was neglecting my job a little though, and not take care of some financial things that I need to stay on top of, so I took a break and didn't see or talk to her for a couple of days. I took care of what I needed to, started to miss her, and got back together with her.

    Well, I was hoping to leave where we left off, but maybe just a little less involved, so that I still took care of everything I needed to. She said that she didn't want to fall in love, that she wanted to keep things casual. I assumed that would mean that we would still be seeing each other pretty often.

    Since then, though, she has been giving me the runaround for the most part. I call her to get together, and she either has other plans or makes vague plans with me then breaks them. She insists though, that she is not seeing anybody else but still wants to see me casually (which seems more like whenever the fuck she feels like it, if at all).

    I've been getting more and more pissed off, because she has not been straightforward with me, often seems to be lying her ass off, and seems zoned out on Xanax a lot of the time.

    We began arguing a little bit, as I became more assertive, because I don't want to be her fallback boyfriend, or somebody that she can jerk around to boost her ego. She told me that she thinks, "I suddenly grew a pair of nuts" because my crazy ex-girlfriend, who skipped town with our newborn son awhile back, has contacted me trying to reconcile. I assured her that I had no interest in my ex, although I definitely want a relationship with my son. I just wanted her to level with me, but she never would.

    Things came to a head the other day, when I called her and she kept saying she was busy and would call me back. She never did. I got more and more pissed off, leaving some extremely insulting messages on her voicemail. Then I called her late at night and kept calling until she finally answered. She told me I was pathetic. I said,"What? More pathetic than you?" and some other stuff. I called her back a few minutes later, and some moronic dude that I assume she is now fucking tells me to "get a life".

    I don't know why she bothered to not level with me, but I just think that she is a total pussy, and not cool at all. I left some more messages on her voicemail the next day. Now I've got a couple of different dudes calling me threatening me, and threatening to hurt my ex-girlfriend and son. I'm thinking I should hire one of these goons to find my son, if they think they can, because I haven't had a whole bunch of luck. I just know they are in Galveston somwhere.

    So, things ended up pretty shitty with my stripper gf and me, if it is indeed finally over. She thinks I am a total psychpath, and I think she is a lowlife, with a whole lot of stripper baggage with no-account hanger-on lackeys on speed-dial waiting to do her bidding with the hopes of getting into her pants someday.

    Maybe I took her too seriously, being a stripper and caught up in some of the more negative aspects of the lifestyle. Still, if she wasn't so into me, I don't know why she seemed to love to fuck me so much, saying things like "oooh, you fuck me so good daddy.", "Ooooh, yeah, I love it when you pull my hair when you give it to me from behind." I guess she says that to all of her tricks. At least I didn't have to pay for it. If I wasn't her man, she sure acted like I was for awhile. It was fun while it lasted, I just wish it had gone on a little longer. I'll let you guys know if there are any further developments.

    Peace,
    -M. L.-
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Oh, gosh - this is a joke right? Like m_l, is just someone else who posts this to make everyone laugh? And I'm the only one who didn't realize this, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by merely_lurking
    Things came to a head the other day, when I called her and she kept saying she was busy and would call me back. She never did. I got more and more pissed off, leaving some extremely insulting messages on her voicemail. Then I called her late at night and kept calling until she finally answered. She told me I was pathetic. I said,"What? More pathetic than you?"
    Baby, you need to read the first sentence again to get your answer to that question. Yes, that is more pathetic than her. I'm going to have to second the moronic dude.
    I don't know why she bothered to not level with me
    I think the answer to this question lies in the same sentence. Oh, and this:
    I left some more messages on her voicemail the next day. Now I've got a couple of different dudes calling me threatening me, and threatening to hurt my ex-girlfriend and son.
    Sorry - not to make you fall out of character, but this is a joke? Anyone in the know? I want to be in the know.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    No, Jenny, this is all completely true. If you don't believe me and have an interest, I'll give you my voicemail password, and you can call my number and listen to the messages. And I disagree with you. I think if you are in a relationship with somebody, you need to be clear with the other person, so that the other person can decide whether or not they want to invest themselves emotionally in the other.

    I might have overreacted to being dissed, but I was clearly being dissed. She said she wasn't fucking anybody else, which turned out to be untrue. I think you are just playing devil's advocate. I am not perfect, but there would never have been any drama if she had been straightforward with me. I didn't start any negavity or anything, I just kicked it up a notch.
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    How much older than her are you?

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Baby, I'd feel kind of squicky about listening to your messages. But I would say that yes she should be "up front" with you (although it doesn't sound like she thought of her relationship with you much different than you thought of yours with her - you wanted to see at your convenience, she wanted to see you at hers. And I'm a girl, so I take her side), but there is no excuse for ever, ever calling, hanging up and calling again, and leaving several harassing messages. That is called "stalking". Seriously. It is not a normal thing to do when a girl doesn't want to spend time with you anymore. The normal thing to do is mentally (or physically) shrug, say "It was fun while it lasted" and move on. And there would have been no drama if you had just let her phase you out without being such a baby about it.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Baby, I'd feel kind of squicky about listening to your messages. But I would say that yes she should be "up front" with you (although it doesn't sound like she thought of her relationship with you much different than you thought of yours with her - you wanted to see at your convenience, she wanted to see you at hers. And I'm a girl, so I take her side), but there is no excuse for ever, ever calling, hanging up and calling again, and leaving several harassing messages. That is called "stalking". Seriously. It is not a normal thing to do when a girl doesn't want to spend time with you anymore. The normal thing to do is mentally (or physically) shrug, say "It was fun while it lasted" and move on. And there would have been no drama if you had just let her phase you out without being such a baby about it.
    I understand that you have a woman's perspective on the issue, but I don't think it is stalking when you are supposed to be having a relationship with somebody to be kind of rude to them, when they have shown you know respect whatsoever, especially when they are seeing somebody else and lying about it. I do think I was looking for something more serious than she was, or that she wanted to be with me, but got scared of getting close, with memories of bad relationships past. I'm positive she liked me a lot, so I'm not sure what happened to change her mind.

    Maybe I was being pretty immature about it, or too aggressive that I scared her, but I don't think she was behaving remotely maturely either, and she started acting that way first. I tend to mirror the behavior that is directed towards me. I'm cool with people as long as they are cool with me, but if people start fucking with me, I return the favor.
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    ML, Bro...
    STOP CONTACTING HER.

    Just back away slowly... notice you're doing everything that pisses you off when you're on the receiving end of it. She's not that into you, and you're coming across as psycho.

    Focus on your son, and your work. Something else will come along.

    Mast.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    ML, Bro...
    STOP CONTACTING HER.

    Just back away slowly... notice you're doing everything that pisses you off when you're on the receiving end of it. She's not that into you, and you're coming across as psycho.

    Focus on your son, and your work. Something else will come along.

    Mast.
    Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I intend to stop talking to her. It's just confusing because she went from being head-over-heels totally into me, to acting like I was one of her customers with a crush on her at the drop of the hat. She never gave me a reasonable explanation, but I know I will never get one.

    Quote Originally Posted by lunchbox
    How much older than her are you?
    She's 27 and I'm 35, a slight but not insurmountable age gap in my opinion. And yes, we are both way to old to be acting this way.
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by merely_lurking
    Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I intend to stop talking to her. It's just confusing because she went from being head-over-heels totally into me, to acting like I was one of her customers with a crush on her at the drop of the hat. She never gave me a reasonable explanation, but I know I will never get one.
    Yea, I think about this outcome everytime I hear a girl say "Guys tend to fall in love with me" I.E. "I am preparing to see all your actions towards me meant to gain my love and when I do, I will tell you somehow I don't love you." Seriously, I hear it a LOT.

    Reasonable explaination is this: Sometimes the natural course of a casual relationship leads one, if not both members, into a huge misunderstanding, especially if one thinks about it too much. Then the person tries to control the misunderstanding by limiting it. You limited your availability by a few days, she responded to her misunderstanding of it (even if you explained it) by limiting her emotional availability indefinatly. Again, not a bad thing, could even be a good thing if you overcome it. However when you go negativly at each other, it just shows that one, again if not both, of you totally misunderstood each other's priorities.

    Normally, in my situations, when I see this happening, I just break off all contact for a while if not permanently... Not in a disrespectful way because I generally havn't lost respect for the person, but mainly because by seperating yourself from the person and the situation, you can remain vigilant to what you really want and what the situation really is, and generally be better as individuals for it. Not to mention drama sucks. Fantasy is great, but if not kept real, can quickly turn to drama.

    Sometimes the most respectful thing you can do is just walk away. And give them their space.

    Mast
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    yeah, I would call this stalking. I probably would have called the cops on you if I were her (in fact, I did call on a guy that went psycho over the phone once). You just need to realize that maybe, just maybe, she got over you. The fire died. The sparkle faded. She was bored with you. You were a conquest (yes, women do this too).

    I can't tell you how many men I've blown off because they fail to keep my interest. It is part of the game. Next time, have more self respect and move on... looking like a psycho is not in fashion this season.

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Oh, gosh - this is a joke right? Like m_l, is just someone else who posts this to make everyone laugh? And I'm the only one who didn't realize this, right?
    voltile relationships are often funny, albeit unintentionally, and as long as you're not currently in them at the moment.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    That is called "stalking".
    no, it's called feminist histrionics.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    It is not a normal thing to do when a girl doesn't want to spend time with you anymore.
    uh..yeah, that's why they call them voltile relationships.
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    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Ah, more drama in the life of Merely Lurking. I do sense a pattern. If you're a dude with a hardon for a crazy bitch, and she goes crazy on you, don't try to argue, reason, or insult her. Just fly away. The definition of insanity: doing the same thing repeatedly expecting a different outcome....

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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    hah, ML i can totally sympathise, this is almost identicle to what some chick did to me. you can probably ask sporty about it, im sure he's heard the other side of the story.

    Basically she was fucking some guy(who she later marries, but thats beside the point here). she decides to blow him off for me. doesn't take his calls, makes fun of him. we hang out and fuck for like two months, seeing each other everyday. im starting to think to myself that i want to cool it down a bit, so i dont hang out/fuck her for ONE day...

    i call her the next day, no answer. no big deal, i could use another day off. she doesn't return my call, so i call again the next day, no answer. pretty sure that day was valentines day. lol. keep in mind, we were seeing each other EVERYDAY so calling everyday was standard practice if we didn't wake up inthe same room.

    a few days pass and i still haven't heard back from her.... now im starting to get pissed/concerned(is she dead)/interested in why she wasn't returning my calls. so i call again tellin her that i dont care what the deal is, if she doesn't want to see me anymore, whatever, just let me know. no return call.

    about a month and a half goes by and she finally calls and tells me she couldn't talk to me because she was fucking some other guy. i didn't really care about her fucking some other guy, i was just pissed about being ignored(and i wanted to get my dick rubbed). anyway, more and more time goes by and more and more crap happens and i end up cutting her out of my life completely.

    but everynow andthen i get a voicemail from her. her voice trembling as she fights back tears, telling me how much she misses and loves me. and i get to smile as i delete the message.

    DROP HER NOW. You're better off for it.

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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Move on, move on and move on.

    Seriously, hon. If it starts that intensely, it's likely to fizzle that intensely, so no one is surprised by this except you. She wasn't honest with you, but only a man blinded by love/sex could have missed all the signs of disconnection she was givng you. There's nothing abnormal about your feeling let down and angry, but raging against her is not a healthy reaction. Yell at a wall, post your angst here, go have a beer with friends who will listen, but stop behaving like such a girl in your interactions with her.

    You want her to think twice about it at some point in the future when her current relationships start to suck? Call her machine and leave a short message. Say in your most sincere voice, I apologize for going off the deep end, I've come to my senses and I won't be bothering you anymore, I'm glad we had such good times together and I wish you the best. Click. Done. Don't ramble. Short, sweet, to the point, out. Then leave her alone. And in the future, like Sandy says, don't take any of her calls.

    -Ev

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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    The definition of insanity: doing the same thing repeatedly expecting a different outcome....
    Amen to that

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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    And I'm a girl, so I take her side), but there is no excuse for ever, ever calling, hanging up and calling again, and leaving several harassing messages. That is called "stalking". Seriously. It is not a normal thing to do when a girl doesn't want to spend time with you anymore. The normal thing to do is mentally (or physically) shrug, say "It was fun while it lasted" and move on. And there would have been no drama if you had just let her phase you out without being such a baby about it.
    I've always found it cold and repulsive that some guys could just "shrug, say 'It was fun while it lasted'" where there was a true boyfriend girlfriend relationship. If I was that cold, then I'd have been a pimp; yes, I've had the opportunity and it is like yuck. (BTW, my best friend is/was a dumb thug pimp--his ATM was so impressed that he is huge and very brave. Surprisingly, I found her to be an exceptionally sweet person whose interest in money was near zero.) If it is a paid relationship, then no matter how good it is over whenever she says or if she does something that is a real turnoff. The money makes it fairly easy to be very cold because it is a business relationship.

    Normally, my values aren't usually gender neutral, however, women that could just "shrug, say 'It was fun while it lasted'" with a person that was a real boyfriend also leave me feeling just as repulsed. And, it is being promoted as good behavior/values . . . if relationships mean't so little to me it would be like why even bother trying to find a soulmate or someone to raise a family with. My long term ex-girlfriend wanted to marry me and I asked what if you get bored with me or I upset you? And, she is like that is why there are divorce courts. I was pretty sure she would say that. In her mind the purpose of marriage was to make it easier for her to extract money from me in the event of a breakup--she wants to extract money from me when she is more financially successful than me? I guess that is one reason she was more financially successful than me. She even accused me of being interested in her money--I asked how could that be when not only do I NOT want to get married the spending was always been a one way street with me spending money on you (she pointed to one relatively inexpensive gift she bought me in 10 years to refute my assertion). I was surprised she didn't have a better answer than the fact she has more money somehow proves I'm after her money.

    Whatever. What really made nervous (although I was never interested in marriage, a family maybe, but marriage never--at least state licensed marriage--religious marriage would be fine) was when one her friends dumped a longterm boyfriend. The man went a little crazy. Anyway, both women thought he should be like "whatever, I'm moving onto the next fish." I'm like yuck. Thank god, I never married her.


    I'm thinking of this stripper who stood me for a date (not even the common courtesy to call at the last minute to cancel--oh well, the important thing is she was hot and did good work). She was so impressed that I wasn't upset and said she wished her boyfriend was like that. I said I'm NOT upset because it wasn't important to me. I can always find some place else to spend my money. Would you really want your boyfriend to be so cold or to find you relatively unimportant? Actually, I was very impressed that her boyfriend from what she told me in the past seemed to be crazy over her. Which, imo, is usually very good.
    Last edited by Kyle1111; 08-05-2006 at 11:47 PM.

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    If you're a dude with a hardon for a crazy bitch, and she goes crazy on you, don't try to argue, reason, or insult her. Just fly away.
    oh, now's a fine time to tell us...thanks, kat.
    Quote Originally Posted by evan_essence
    Seriously, hon. If it starts that intensely, it's likely to fizzle that intensely, so no one is surprised by this except you.
    ah, another pearl of wisdom...too late, evan.
    Quote Originally Posted by evan_essence
    And in the future, like Sandy says, don't take any of her calls.
    why not?
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    The definition of insanity: doing the same thing repeatedly expecting a different outcome
    oy, tell me about it.
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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer
    yeah, I would call this stalking. I probably would have called the cops on you if I were her (in fact, I did call on a guy that went psycho over the phone once).
    That's okay. She's welcome to have gotten over me, and all of that shit. But the whole fact that she told me she wasn't seeing anybody else, that we were still together, but on a more limited basis, but in actuality, was fucking some other dude, makes me believe I had a good reason to verbally bitch slap the dumb ho. No big deal, just returning the volley. It's not like I was some customer or some shit. I was hitting the bottom out of her thing for a month, while she begged me for more. I gave her more and then some. I had reason to be confused.
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    Ah, more drama in the life of Merely Lurking. I do sense a pattern. If you're a dude with a hardon for a crazy bitch, and she goes crazy on you, don't try to argue, reason, or insult her. Just fly away. The definition of insanity: doing the same thing repeatedly expecting a different outcome....
    Yeah, I think I must have some kind of unconcious attraction to women that are going to make me crazy in the end. When it is good, it is totally bad ass, and then when it sucks, it is very shitty. I don't think I ever instigate the bullshit, but I always seem to kick it up a notch when it is dumped on me first. Maybe I am insane. At least I was getting some really exceptional pussy for awhile.
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    You should join PA...Psychobitches Anonymous. Work the steps.

    1. Admit you are powerless over psychobitches who give up the pussy then take it away. Your life has become unmanageable.....

    etc......

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    You should join PA...Psychobitches Anonymous. Work the steps.

    1. Admit you are powerless over psychobitches who give up the pussy then take it away. Your life has become unmanageable.....

    etc......
    Lol - great advice

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    You should join PA...Psychobitches Anonymous. Work the steps.

    1. Admit you are powerless over psychobitches who give up the pussy then take it away. Your life has become unmanageable.....

    etc......
    I should never let the pussy become my higher power....
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by merely_lurking
    I should never let the pussy become my higher power....
    you could always become an a-sexual masturbating machine like me. pussy is no match for my appathy!!!

  24. #24
    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk
    ah, another pearl of wisdom...too late, evan.
    Too late to examine this chain of events for next time? Ooookay. Just eat your popcorn.

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk
    why not?
    1) Because it's unwise to resume with her when she behaved that way. 2) Because it's retribution to not care if she starts missing him. 3) Because I said that to cheer him up. Eat your popcorn.

    -Ev

  25. #25
    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: My stripper gf is no longer the shizznit... (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by sander8son
    you could always become an a-sexual masturbating machine like me. pussy is no match for my appathy!!!
    You can't eat out apathy....
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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