Okay, so it was kind of a slow kick off to a Friday night a couple nights ago, and the owner, who is a fat, rich, screaming bastard, was getting pissed off because it wasn't as hopping as it usually was. So we (we being the waitresses) weren't surprised to hear the DJ announce "All waitresses report to the Liquor Room, immediately" because the owner loves to yell and we are an easy target. So he's screaming all kinds of profanities about how we are the most boring staff he's ever seen in his life, how he could go shit in the middle of the floor and it would be more lively, how we looked like we had never fucked in our lives and that if we didn't get our bitchy attitudes out there and force ourselves to look like we were having fun then blah blah blah, but what made me laugh was he finishes up with a round of "MY DOGS ASSHOLE LOOKS HAPPIER THAN YOU SORRY BUNCH OF BITCHES" Adds a few more choice lines, then turns around leaving his waitstaff to trail behind him with heads bowed in shame and a low morale from our fresh lashings when one of the waitresses waits the perfect amount of time and then goes "what kind of dog you got?"
I don't know why but this just had to be the funniest thing I heard all night.
And later, after there was a huge gang fight that resulted in waitresses and dancers all huddled under the tables in the champagne room while two different gangs had knives pulled on our managers and bouncers and guns being fired at each other....for some reason, probably having to do with Patron...I just kept thinking under that table...."what kind of dog you got?"



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