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Thread: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    I have known many dancers over the years and become just "good friends" for various reasons with 3 in particular OTC. I am secure enough and try and not be jealous even though I DO REALLY CARE about these gals, but understand that it is BUSINESS while they are working and maybe a little PERSONAL while we spend time OTC usually out to eat, etc.. I am to the point where I don't spend any money for dances and definetely not labled a "regular" but more as a "friend" and have told them that I genuinely care about them more than just a "paid grope" and they all at least seem to believe and respect me... BTW, I don't get dances from anyone else while they are working either... My question for the dancers is if I was iterested in taking these "platonic friendships" to the next level how would you go bout it without risking losing these great "friendships"?

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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    just smack her in the face with your willy, thats what i do.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    you could just ask them, but in my experience, if a dancer is interested in a guy she met at the club, she will make it blatantly obvious. If it's not, she just sees you as a dollar sign, even if you don't spend anymore. She hopes you might. or maybe she's perfectly fine venting her problems over the sushi you are paying for.

    And just so you know, a dancer is internally rolling her eyes when a customer says, "but I really care about you. I'm not like the other guys."

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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Apparently you and the dancers are in some sort of happy, platonic place. You arent spending money on them and yet they hang out with you ITC and OTC. I agree with Emily that if one of them wanted romance, she would make that plain as day. If you want more you'll have to make the first move I guess but I suspect those dancers are quite content with the status quo. All you'll likely accomplish is to run them off.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    if a dancer is interested in a guy she met at the club, she will make it blatantly obvious. If it's not, she just sees you as a dollar sign, even if you don't spend anymore.
    Agreed.

    <S> Emily
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Dead on as usual, Miss Emily.

    However I don't truly believe that every situation has the same solution. I think that the OP could approach her on it, just do it respectfully, and understand that you risk everything. I mean if you're NOT ok with continuing the relationship as is, because you want more, why wait? Turn things up a notch for a few dates, be a gentleman, and if she seems receptive tell her your interests.

    I digress though, I handle rejection very well imho. I'm rather used to it.

    I just don't understand why this question gets asked so much, what is it about the fact that when the female involved is a stripper, that that becomes an excuse to the confused and frustrated individual to continue to poorly communicate their intents rather than just resolving the situation by addressing them directly?

    I guess it's the desire to hear from everyone who DOESN'T have the answer whether or not it's part of the job.

    My 2 cents
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus

    I just don't understand why this question gets asked so much, what is it about the fact that when the female involved is a stripper, that that becomes an excuse to the confused and frustrated individual to continue to poorly communicate their intents rather than just resolving the situation by addressing them directly?
    well, because he's not like every other guy, this situation is totally different. What they have is real despite being created in a petri dish. He really likes her for her and he knows she feels the same. Well, maybe 99% sure.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    I had to read that twice to catch it was sarcasm. I Was reading your use of "despite" as the past part. of desipise.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    well, because he's not like every other guy, this situation is totally different. What they have is real despite being created in a petri dish. He really likes her for her and he knows she feels the same. Well, maybe 99% sure.

    Yep, meeting someone in a SC and overcoming the perceptions (real or imagined) that men just want sex, and strippers just want $$$ is one of the most challenging issues for either sex to confront. There are far better places to judge either sexs sincerity than a SC, that is why a spend time outside the clubs with them, but it still doesn't change the fact where we met...

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Quote Originally Posted by laplover69
    Yep, meeting someone in a SC and overcoming the perceptions (real or imagined) that men just want sex, and strippers just want $$$ is one of the most challenging issues for either sex to confront. There are far better places to judge either sexs sincerity than a SC, that is why a spend time outside the clubs with them, but it still doesn't change the fact where we met...
    You are defining the roles in a strip club wrong....

    You cannot define customers as "men" (thereby taking the business relationship out of your role) and strippers as "strippers".

    it's a business. You may not like to think of yourself as a customer, but to her you are. That is your mistake. It's not perception that strippers want money. It's a fact. Your feeling on her are irrelevant. She doesn't care that you really, really like her and don't just want sex. She's probably pleased to hear it because she thinks she has you where she wants you. Customers that just want sex are annoying because the money stops as soon as they realize they aren't getting any.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    You are defining the roles in a strip club wrong....

    You cannot define customers as "men" (thereby taking the business relationship out of your role) and strippers as "strippers".

    it's a business. You may not like to think of yourself as a customer, but to her you are. That is your mistake.

    Well, perhaps this is true as a general rule but I am not labled as a "custie" anymore with these 3 gals, as I got a dubious graduation from this label with them, and we all view each other as just "good friends" . I am sure that I am viewed as a "custie" with ALL of the other dancers just as I view them as "dancers" with no illusions of "friends" or anything more than just business...

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Even with the assumption that you are truly friends (which I'm still not buying), it doesn't mean any of them want to date you. Like I said before, if she does, she makes it very clear because she knows you'll wonder and she won't want you to.

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    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Ahhhhh, the eternal argument. Look Laplover, if ya really want to know then try something like this.... call up this female "friend" and see if she will come pick you up and lend you the money to go to the hospital for something that could be fatal if not treated immediately.... If she shows up then ya might have a friend who cares about you but when she doesn't.... get over it and get real.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    I was thinking asking for a ride to the airport, or help moving. That's a true friend.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Well there is "casual stripper dating" which probably fits this scenerio, although these 3 "just friends" have been all platonic except one where there was a nice long cunnilingus session... The way I assume that I'm truly a "friend" is I know there REAL names, where they live, REAL Ph#'s and in a couple of cases their parents and daughters and SO... Yes, I do agree that it is difficult defining the difference between "custies", "dancers" and "friends" etc. And I have helped ALL of them move, and one of them picked me up when I had car troubles...

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Quote Originally Posted by laplover69
    Well there is "casual stripper dating" which probably fits this scenerio, although these 3 "just friends" have been all platonic except one where there was a nice long cunnilingus session... The way I assume that I'm truly a "friend" is I know there REAL names, where they live, REAL Ph#'s and in a couple of cases their parents and daughters and SO... Yes, I do agree that it is difficult defining the difference between "custies", "dancers" and "friends" etc.
    and don't forget...she kissed you, and she just doesn't do that with customers!

    it's really not difficult. That's what I'm saying. if it's confusing to you, it's because you make it so.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    MAYBE THIS POEM WILL KEEP MY FEELINGS IN CHECK...

    Never fall in love with a Stripper

    Part 1-The Encounter

    Never fall in love with a stripper son, she's sure to break your
    heart.
    You'll end up in a coiled web and soon be torn apart.
    Her beauty is amazing, her soul it shines intense, her body is a work
    of art from which there's no defense.

    She'll captivate you with desire; you'll lose your way it seems,
    Her pleasantries engulf your thoughts and permeate your dreams.
    Imagination running wild, each step she closer moves,
    Her eyes enchanting meet yours in fire; she closes on your grove.

    The sensuality extreme, the eros so sublime
    She welcomes you into her world, a fantasy in time.
    She'll placate all your questions, advise you in return,
    "You are the only one for her", your passion starts to burn.

    Enveloped by her glory, enchantedly demure,
    Anticipation takes control and spins a deadly lure.
    The club is closing quickly you realize your fate,
    You better make your move real quick; it's getting much too late.

    You've spent eight hundred dollars, perhaps a little more,
    You need two questions answered before you close the door.
    What is your real name my dear, and what pray tell your number?
    You wait for her polite reply while stifling your "hunger."

    "My real name is Vicki*, my number is right here,
    I'd love to see you real soon, from me there's none to fear"
    "I'll call you in a short time", I state in timid voice,
    "I'll take you out to dinner, and you can make the choice."



    Part 2

    Ouch

    Lunches, dinners, shopping, and times spent tenderly,
    You really feel you love this girl; she fills your heart with glee.
    You've never met a gem like this; you'll never so again,
    She's nice, she's warm, she's confident and soon you wonder when?

    When will her lips and yours first meet, when will the dream unfold?
    When will your bodies meet entwined suffice ecstatic goal?
    You need to know, you need to ask, the fever is unkempt,
    "Do I mean anything to her or should I now repent?"

    And so with courage, truth and hope you pose the query thus,
    Do I mean anything to you and what is all this fuss?
    "Do you mean anything to me? She whispers in you ear"?
    Of course you do you silly boy why else would I be here?

    "I now can pay my car loan, my boyfriend's Visa card,
    I never need go to a store, not even out my yard."
    "You're such a nice and humble guy; you've given me so much,
    And all I ever had to give was skin for you to touch.

    "I thought you knew this business, I thought you knew the game,
    There is nothing of real in this it all is very plain."
    "You mean the world to me kind man; it's ALL by my design,
    I thank you very much my dear, my little dollar sign!"

    Part 3

    Epilogue

    I still recall our moments, illusions manifold,
    and how I let my honest heart refuse to be so cold.
    I thought she really liked me, perhaps a hint of love,
    I used to think she's heaven sent, an angel from above.

    Reality is stark my friend, and sometimes hard to find.
    But one thing that I've learned from this, sweet strippers make us
    blind.
    So take my words to heart; Believe! And stop a sec to think,
    Is what you feel, the real thing, or brought on by 6 drinks.

    Have fun, enjoy, partake of life, be in control of you
    And never let a stripper in, because they are like glue.
    Never fall in love with a stripper son, she'll always break your heart
    You'll always be her ATM at whom she'll aim her dart!

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    you are making this waaayyy more difficult than it is. I am 100% sure that the fact that she is a stripper is no longer an issue. I am 100% certain your inability to address her directly shows you lack at least the respect you say you have for her. Talk to HER. not US. We are not HER.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member jannisary's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    The poem makes me agree with Mast and question how much respect you really have for these three "friends."

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    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    you are making this waaayyy more difficult than it is. I am 100% sure that the fact that she is a stripper is no longer an issue. I am 100% certain your inability to address her directly shows you lack at least the respect you say you have for her. Talk to HER. not US. We are not HER.
    agreed....by making this into a big production, you could create an awkward situation. in other words, she might get freaked out, confusing you with the 100 other guys who profess their undying love for her each shift. at least with the "friend" status, whatever that is, you say she feels comfortable. if you want to try to take it to the next level, then fine...no harm in trying, as long as you're prepared to handle the consequences. also do it in a non-dramatic way. don't scare her off

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    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    In the world of fishing and con games the pretty thing dangling is called the "Lure". Go see a doctor immediately.... me thinks you have mental problems or a hook in your mouth!!!!

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Quote Originally Posted by laplover69
    ...these 3 "just friends" have been all platonic except one where there was a nice long cunnilingus session...
    Tell us more about the "nice long cunnilingus session". That's the 'unique tidbit' that I have gotten out of this thread. BTW, if any of these dancers have asked for this activity, gratis, you are probably in with them for a while. One useful word here...tease.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Emily, could you take me to the airport tomorrow?
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Quote Originally Posted by threlayer
    Tell us more about the "nice long cunnilingus session". That's the 'unique tidbit' that I have gotten out of this thread. BTW, if any of these dancers have asked for this activity, gratis, you are probably in with them for a while. One useful word here...tease.

    She was a little drunk and frisky and shoved it in my face... "all giving & no receiving". but I did enjoy this! LOL

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just "Good Friends" with dancers...

    Ask her if she wants to fuck after post-shift breakfast at Denny's. She will be drunk on porkgrease, and if that doesn't get a woman in the mood, I don't know what will!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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