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Thread: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

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    Default private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    hi people. i've got a fairly confusing situation on my hands right now. i'm a really new dancer, just started two saturdays ago. on my first night, this guy got really into me... kept approaching me for dances and ended up spending $400 on me for 5 nude dances. now he wants a private show at his house. i could get a driver and bodyguard for this, but i'm really not sure if i want to do it. he kept pushing the limits at the club, wanting to touch my pussy and take his cock out of his pants. i had to keep telling him no, no. i don't mind him openly masturbating at his house, but i don't want him touching me any more than he was allowed to at the strip club... and i bet that once i'm at his house, he will spend the entire time trying to convince me to have sex with him, even though he promised that it would be "just dancing." it seems like a lot of hassle to me. and i'm not even sure how to entertain him for a long period of time in a venue i'm not familiar with.

    for you girls who have done private shows for one guy, how did you fill up the one or two hours you were there? how did you deal with the pressure to have sex/ suck his dick/ let him finger you? what did you charge? (this guy gave me his card to write my email address on, btw, so i know that he's in some sort of real estate business and can probably shell out big money.) was the money worth going to all that trouble? i would rather he just continue to come to the club, but he doesn't want to - just wants the private show. i'd love any advice you can give me. thanks!

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    Member Sperkzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Christ, guy's are such pigs.

    There are hookers for a reason!

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    Curious Guest poisonivy72680's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Stay in the club girl!!!!! If he really wants to keep seeing you he will come there.... And if not then--------> NEXT...

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    "not sure if you want to" get security? You've GOT to bw kidding. No respectful dancer does a dance without security.


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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    STICK TO THE CLUB !!!! If you do this once, you'll do it again.... and then where do you stop and draw the line? Seriously. You are NEW. He was praying on your naivety... only do one on one private dancing through a reputable agency and always with security/a driver.


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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Stay in the club baby. Don't comprimise your comfort level for the first guy who spends money... There will be others... Promise.

  7. #7
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Yes, definitely stay in the club. Do not do this!! He wants a hooker, and he can damn well call an escort service like everyone else. If he really just wanted you to dance, then he would be fine with getting that in the club.

    Customers are like trains, hon. There will always be another one in a little while.

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    Senior Member CC_Mist's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Stay in club. This guy is trying to take advantage of the fact that you are so new. You never want to put your safety or your emotional well being at risk. Just as everyone else has said there will be many more customers in the club who will want to spend mad money on you.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    If you ever have doubts about doing a private party for someone don't do it! I've done parties before and if I have a weird feeling about the guy I"ll tell him I don't do them.

    If you do decide to do parties ( I would recommend that you wait until you have more experience dealing with guys) NEVER EVER EVER do one without a bouncer!Set your rules at the start, what you will and will not allow. And always be prepared to walk out of any situation. No amount of $$ is worth your safety.

  10. #10
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    many guys will prey on the new girls, taking you for being dumb and clueless. they'll promise you lots of money for "just dancing" at their house, but they NEVER mean just dancing. i don't know you, but just from reading that post i can almost guarantee that if you go to this show, you'll end up having sex with him because he'll pressure you into it. and once you've crossed that line, who knows where you'll end up.

    stay in the club.

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    Senior Member jackie555's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Yeah I agree with everyone else on this one. Stay in the club just a while longer and get used to how things work.
    About your question on sex and favors they ask... depending on your club rules you can sometimes let them "make themselves comfortable." That way they are satisfied and you don't have to touch them. Always be sure this is ok in your club/escort service though.
    And NEVER NEVER NEVER do a private show w/out a bouncer! Unless you wanna be front page news the next day for being the hooker found chopped into little pieces in some dumpster.

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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    ok, i would never go without security... sorry that was unclear in my first post. i definitely would have a bouncer in the next room at all times if i did this. but i've decided you guys are right. if he really wanted to just get dances from me, he would go to the club. he made up this flimsy excuse about how it is inconvenient for him to travel all the way there, but i bet he just thinks that it'll be a lot easier to get me to have sex with him at his house. i'm not doing the show. it's not worth an extra $1000 to me to potentially become a hooker, and i'm not certain of my ability to withstand the pressure he'll put on me. thanks for your guys's advice though, you really helped me clear my head about this!

    btw i asked some of the dancers at my club, and they told me to do a two hour dance where i give him a handjob for the last half hour. when i told them i didn't want to go that far, they gave each other knowing looks and told me "believe me honey, neither would i at first but you WILL after a few more years in this business." aaagh! i really hope i don't get that desensitized.

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    Veteran Member Cameo's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    If it doesn't make you feel good or makes you this uncomfortable, don't do it! Especially if you already think it's too much of a hassel.

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    Senior Member jackie555's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by flyingbeagle7
    btw i asked some of the dancers at my club, and they told me to do a two hour dance where i give him a handjob for the last half hour. when i told them i didn't want to go that far, they gave each other knowing looks and told me "believe me honey, neither would i at first but you WILL after a few more years in this business." aaagh! i really hope i don't get that desensitized.
    Ok in this case I would definately take the "make yourself comfortable route" that way they won't feel ripped off and you won't cross any personal boundaries.

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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    If you do a one-on-one show yet do not want to touch them.... you could allow them to touch themselves and give them a xxx show. What I mean by this is give them a strip show where you would use pearls and toys/vibes .... and as soon as he whips it out it all becomes an air dance (no contact from you). Yet at the same time, if the other dancers are doing OTC work... and you do stay there long enough.. it is going to be expected of you. Stay there as long as you need to be confident as a "dancer" however move on evetually to another club where OTC work is expressly discouraged.


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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Stay in the club...it seems like you're be getting yourself in a whole mess of trouble if you meet him or any other customer to do a private show. Private shows aren't for everyone...







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Don't feel like put down at all by what those girls said. That isn't true what they said, lots of dancers have long careers and never cross the line between entertaining and sexual acts.

    BTW I think you made the right decision. It's very important to have boundaries that you stick too in this business. There will be a guy in the future who will be even more tempting - more money and more personality, so it's good to know what you will not do.

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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Your so right holiday,there are plenty of girls who never cross the line.Unfortunately there are alot of girls who do.I think that if every dancer would refuse sexual service then none of us would feel so much pressure to do thing we really don't want to do.I don't know maybe I am wrong but I just can't imagine girls waking up and thinking ...I have to go to work to day and suck or fuck .If you do why are you a dancer?Why not find a job in a "massage parlor" and leave the dancing to the girls who actualy just want to DANCE?

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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    chop off their hands




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    Senior Member xtina20's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    honey... i think you have bigger problems than a dodgy customer who's trying to push you.

    First things first. Stripping is dancing. Not sex. If you are comfortable having sex with customers then go and join a high class escort agency where you will invariably get paid more to do so.

    If, as I presume, you have decided to be a stripper then find a club where you do not have to blow the customers. i have danced for 4 years and have never EVER done 'extras' or broken club rules. You can and should find a club that treats you with proffessional respect. You do not need to be giving blow jobs so why do it? is it particularily enjoyable? NO!!! so change clubs.

    Secondly, customers can and do pick out new girls and try to push them beyond their boundary. this has happened to everyone. You need to be firm and assertive. If you have a 'touchy' customer, put their hands to the side of their chair adn tell them they can only move them WHEN YU MOVE THEM!. Seriously, if they ask why, tell them they have been very naughty and you now have to keep an eye on them. Do not under any circumstances go to his house. even with a bouncer. If there are 10 guys there how well is your bouncer going to cope? Men at SC's always want the next step- at topless clubs they want nude, at nude clubs, touching; at clubs where they can touch, BJ's.
    In this industry you will always be pushed for the next 'thing'. i know this post sounds bitchy, and i'm not trying to be mean but honestly, the thing that will do your head in is allowing the guys to dictate the terms. You have to set your boundaries and stick with them.

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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    Thank God and all the angels for this site!! Babe for God's sake please take on board everything that all the girls are saying.....
    If he was happy with "just dances" then what the fuck is his problem about keeping it within the bounderies of the club??? This man sounds like a toss pot. He's totally taking advantage of your naivity and is pushing all ther limits.
    One idea would be to play him at his own game. It is possible to back peddle from this. Play on his first impression of you and really go for it on the unsure, little girl lost image.
    Tell him that you think he's a really nice guy and that you'd really like to get to know him better and that you'd really like him to keep visiting you at the club so you can spend a bit more time getting to know each other.
    If its the amount of money that you think he's prepared to spend thats intriguing you, then its worth seeing how much you can make from him within the confines of the club. At least then, if he does keep trying to touch you, theres only so far he can go before you call security to get him kicked out. Better to make your money in safety. If he's so full on in the club, then his behaviour will know no bounds in his own house.
    Please take care and DO NOT BE BULLIED into doing anything you dont want to do xxooxx

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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    I never do one on one...if they want a "party" , then they should have a party. I always ask "how many guys" if they just say somethin like "just me and you" i smack my lips and walk away and tell them i got a man. do i got hooker written on my forehead? these usually are the guys who dont even tip in the club,so y would they spend 200 on me for a private "party". i must had stupid written on my booty when they ask that. lol
    If ur not comfortable,dont do it. If u do...take security, be firm when u tell him the rules,and if he tries to cross the line...7 in. heels work great in the face! (but i recommend screaming for ur security,not every stripper is crazy as me. lol) Good luck with ur money making and be careful. your judgement as far as what guys say and what they mean will get better as you dance a little longer. Have fun!

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    Featured Member avacheetahs's Avatar
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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    ^ Security is all good and everything, but what if he's in the next room and can't hear you scream because your mouth is covered and you are being raped? Scary I know, but I think about this stuff and that's why I don't do private parties.
    Even if you have securityy, if the guy has a gun, you are SOL. I'm sure the cops would have a lot of sympathy for a girl who went OTC and got hurt.

    Not to say that private parties and all that OTC stuff can't be lucrative because they are and MOST of the time when a girl knows what she's doing everything goes ok. When I was new, I would do private parties and such because I thought everyone else did and that was the thing to do. I wasn't seasoned enough though to know how to handle the pressure and stuff happened that I regretted later. Like someone said, it happens to a lot of new girls. I refuse to go OTC now and I really have no desire. I am happy w/ the money I make and can breathe easier b/c I don't have that icky feeling anymore.

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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    I would keep it in the club.

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    Default Re: private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?

    i tried the unsure, naive little girl thing and told him that i was so new to the business that i didn't want to do private shows just yet, but i'd LOVE for him to come back to the club so we could get to know each other better there, blah blah blah. he stopped emailing me. it really wasn't much of a loss. i met him on my first night working and the $400 he spent on lapdances seemed overwhelming to me then, but i've met guys since who spent plenty, gave me less hassle, and also TIPPED ME into the bargain, which he didn't bother to do. he probably was hoping to take advantage of a new girl - probably hoped that i would show up at his house sans bouncer or driver, and he could coax me into having sex with him or take a more violent route if that didn't work. thanks to you guys for convincing me not to go to his house! a couple weeks more experience put things into perspective for me. aaargh... most men are such pigs when they come into a strip club. they really do keep trying to push the envelope.

    i've decided not to do anything OTC for now. i've gotten several customers who promise to pay me just to have dinner with them or go shopping, and two of them are really serious about it, but even normal "date" activities seem too unsafe to me. of course what they really want is sex, and when they realize that they aren't going to get it - and they've just spent loads of money at a fancy restaurant or a department store to NOT get it - well, i can see things getting ugly. i'm good with the money i make inside the club, with bouncers and rules to protect me.

    as for the other girls in the club... well, what they do outside the club is none of my business. i honestly don't judge the ones who are hookers. it's just a boundary i can't cross. a lot them are less than clean in the private dance rooms though, which sucks. i'm moving to la soon and i'm gonna look for a more upscale club where hopefully management will be more uptight about these things. right now, we have cameras but nobody ever monitors them. i've heard girls talk about "oh yeah, i let them [insert extra here] but i ALWAYS make sure to charge more... we gotta keep up our standards!" this is no good. next time around, i'm going to be more picky with my club. thanks everyone for your advice!

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