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Thread: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

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    Senior Member KittenCaboodle's Avatar
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    Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    -Do you put special stuff on your body to help you stick & slide on the pole?

    -Do you like this work because it turns you on?

    -I can offer you something better then money...........Dinner with me!

    -You're just here for the money! (Well dah!)

    -Does your husband know you strip?

    -If someone came up to you on the street and payed you money to take your clothes of, would you do it?

    -(After telling him to fuck off!) YOU cant talk to ME like THAT I know the owner, I'm gonna tell that bouncer! (Yes please do )

    -I dont pay strippers for dancers I just fuck them

    -My friend here is one of the richest men in sydney (So whys he drinking the shitty cheap house champagne?)

    -Please tell the bouncer to turn off the security camera in the private room, I'm successful businessman married with kids and I dont want anything tarnishing my reputation! (so go home!)

    -Ok....um......we dont really have the money for a show.......but its the first time my mates EVER been to a place like this........so can you give us a show... for free? (no!)

    -Set me up with some coke and I'll take you for a dance (So I brought him some coke a cola from the bar)


    .......................What are yours???

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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Today's my birthday--do I get anything free?
    What's your real name?
    What does your boyfriend think about you doing this?
    So are you doing this to find a rich guy to marry and take care of you?
    How tall are you? (Only stupid because I am asked it so many times.)
    Are your boobs real?

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Cameo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by KittenCaboodle
    -Set me up with some coke and I'll take you for a dance (So I brought him some coke a cola from the bar)
    Nice!

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    Veteran Member kelly514's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by KittenCaboodle
    -You're just here for the money! (Well dah!)
    Of course I am here for the money... Geeze... think I would be doing this for free?

    Most of the time I get the "will you come home and suck on my cock/wife's tits, ect" comments... when I am nervous or bored I tend to play with my tongue ring... meh

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    some of my favorites are:

    "You should work at XYZ strip club."
    "I respect you too much to tip you."
    "Can I have some money to tip that other girl?"
    "I'm a photographer who can get you in playboy. It'll only cost you $1000 for a shoot."
    "I'm writing (a book, a thesis, a research paper, an article for the paper etc.), would you mind if asked you a few questions?"


    Oh, and my all time favorite:
    "I'm a faith healer, but I have to be able to lay hands on you to heal you."


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Featured Member tootsie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    i so hate when they say your just here for the money!!!!! i hate it, what do ya think we are here for? duh!

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    Veteran Member JettaNyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    >>Oh, and my all time favorite:
    "I'm a faith healer, but I have to be able to lay hands on you to heal you."

    Paris....someone actualy said this to you!??! i can understand all the other questions, but this one is kinda out of left field.

  8. #8
    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    I spend thousands of dollars in this club. I can do what I want!
    I know the owner you wont get in trouble with me he you let me touch you!
    Can i have a dance now and pay you the next time I come in here!
    If you want the present to be differant from the past, study the past.
    Baruch Spindza

    It is what it is, not what you want it to become, that's important -- at least for now. Today, remember that things worth having are worth waiting for!
    The Stars

    Minds are like parachutes: They only function when open.
    Thomas Dewar

    Dont throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
    Swedish Proverb

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    "Are you married?" No. "Oh, then you must have a boyfriend." No "Why not."

    ...WHY do they ask WHY NOT?!?!?! I am soooo sick of that question!!!!!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Aaah! I've heard all of these and probably more. Except for the "faith healer". That was unique:p And now I know working in AUS wouldn't be any different. I guess most custy's are the same worldwide.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    I hate when they your just here for the money i can not for the life of me think of something to say to that. I want the guy to buy a dance or at least drink so i just bat my eyes and tell him thats usally the case but i am really enjoying my time with him. blahblah

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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    My favorite: "Can I have some money to pay for this dance/show?"
    My reaction:
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    I hate it when they say "So, what's your real job?" or "Do your parents know you do this?" or "How old are you?" or "How much money do you make here each night?" or "Do you make house calls?" or "Can I touch you?" or "What is a sweet girl like you doing in this place of sin?" I know there's plenty more that I'll think of!

  14. #14
    Senior Member KittenCaboodle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Last night I got....


    -Your very healthy looking for a dancer

    -How do you get your mind set back to reality after work?

    -Does the owner make the girls have sex with him?

    -Whats your real name?............Bianca???............No not your "STAGE" name your REAL name?.........No........Biancas an italian name and you dont look italian...Well maybe a little but I still dont believe Biancas your name......Oh ha! ha! ha! "Candy Cup Cakes" VERY FUNNY.......Listen I'm just trying to get to know you on a more personal level!

    (You could tell it was a full moon last night!

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    I hate "How many kids do you have", it seems ever ruder than "Do you have kids?" cause of the assumption on his part. Or "Do you party?" whatever the fuck that means.

  16. #16
    Veteran Member pipermarau's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    ok i have a question about their questions.

    Who or what made them want to ask us these questions? Was there a book published that only guys know about to ask us these questions?

    now for my questions that i hate

    "do you pick your own music?"
    "do you buy your own outfits or do you have a box that everyone else picks from"
    a variation from the above "does the club decide what you wear or do you chose? and do you share with everyone else?"
    "which do you prefer more: men or women?"
    "are you going on stage again or do you just go up once?" i hate those questions that involve stage rotations.
    "how much does the club pay you?"

    thats just the tip of the iceburg. grr.

  17. #17
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Here's some of mine:

    "Do you parents know you dance?" -- For godsakes, I'm 23 yrs old and live on my own! Because I support myself, I have no obligation to tell my father what I do to make money! I'm not a little girl...

    "Do you make a lot of money here?" -- Would it really be in my best interest to tell customers something like, I don't make shit? And if I tell them I make a lot of money, what if they think that I don't need to sell a dance to them because I already have "enough" money? This question could go either way. I hate discussing money ITC, either with customers or coworkers.

    "Are your boobs real?" / "Is your eye color real?" -- Actually, this one doesn't really bother me LOL if anything it is kinda flattering because back when I had no boobs, everyone ignored my chest. I get this OTC as well sometimes, esp when I'm wearing a tank top with an underwire bra, because it pushes them up a lot. I don't really mind when they ask about my eye color too, it's a compliment, but yeah a lot of drunk guys asking these questions probably does look kinda silly!

    "Is dancing all that you do?" -- For a while I hated this question because I was insecure about the answer to the question, which was "I finished college with a math degree and now I'm looking for a job in my field." This showed that I didn't have the ability to get a good job, and usually the young assholes would respond cattily with, "And now you're here." All that question did, was bring to attention the job-less situation, one of my biggest insecurities. After a while I started lying and telling guys that I was a "financial analyst", my dream career...well I was...an unemployed one.

    "Are you old enough to dance?" -- I'm 23, NOT 16! And how can customers then say that they "don't believe me" when I'd tell them my real age? Ever since I got boobs and wore heavier make-up, I don't get this as much anymore but sometimes I do because I have a young looking face and I tend to be very cheerful and smiley, traits that people associate with for someone that is young and naive(which I'm NOT).

    "You're too humble to be a stripper." -- This one was the WORST insult and most annoying statement ever said by a customer. At least in my opinion. This was said within my first 2 weeks of dancing, after a guy played game of 20 Questions with me, then cut me off to go dance with some other girl, and then I approached him and his group of friends for tips after going up on stage. OK I was dancing because I had major money problems and well, my mommy never thought I was humble...she thought I had high expectations in life, cared too much about looks, and as a child I always wanted to be treated like someone older than my age. But what was that guy implying? That I should forgo the good money in dancing, to work a "humble" job at Wal-Mart, simply because I was "humble" and not a pushy money-hungry vulture?

    "NO I DON'T WANT A DANCE" -- This is stupid when said in a mean tone of voice, immediately after I initially greet them with "hi how are you." If I'm really the "nicest person in the club" and "too humble," as told by other customers, then why are these assholes cutting me off and not even giving me a chance? It's like I'm being shot down/rejected before I even begin. Sometimes when it's late and I'm in a really bad mood, I will shoot them back with, "What?! I didn't *ask* you for a dance. All I said was hi" to make them look stupid in front of their friends.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Oce at a nude club a guy asked me if we glued our lips (labia) together. I guess all of his experience with pussy before that was relegated to spread shots in magazines so he couldn't believe that pussies weren't naturally wide open all of the time.

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    Veteran Member pipermarau's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    wow, susan. that guy must have been a real catch!

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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Wait. You guys are just there for the money? What kind of stripper are you?! I am appalled that you guys take for granted the intense groping of disgusting drooling cheap men. Don't you really care about them??

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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Has anyone thought of a clever response to the innocent thing?

  23. #22
    Newbie MasonDykine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    when they say "your here only for the money" tellm Yeh and your here only for the boobies/pussy depending on the club...LOL works for me.

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    Veteran Member Vegas_dancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    I was reading this, and was shocked to se the faith healer one. I just encountered that for the first time last night. Said he came into strip clubs because he discovered it was his calling to heal strippers. Then he started trying to show me the areas on the body he needed to touch to heal........
    My fault for wondering what a man was doing sitting all the way in the back with no drink all by himself........

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    Veteran Member TROU8LE~'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    I always hated when they asked:
    "Well, Whats your REAL name?" Id always say something like (plus they'd be turned on 4 a dance), "Youre not in reality any longer;Theres No such thing as a real name here, welcome to my fantacy... Come and join me, ..Whats youre stage name of the night?" (They always luved that. ) They always followed me on for a dance. : )

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    Default Re: Stupid Funny Customer Questions

    Them: "You look too innocent to be a dancer."
    Me "That just makes it even hotter when I take my clothes off."

    I don't get that quite as often anymore. Guys usually say that when they think you're new. Tell them you've been dancing for two years or more.

    MOST ANNOYING (I get asked this at least ten times per night). "What's that tattoo on your back?" It requires at least three sentences of explaining, and they're still not going to understand, cause they're all clueless as to anything more culturally involved than The Simpsons. I'm about to get a new tattoo, above this tattoo, that says, "Do NOT ask what this tattoo is." I just keep explaining it over and over, cause I don't want to sound like a jaded bi*ch. I just want to sigh and moan, "Pleeease don't make me explain it again."

    Most insulting recent question, "What kind of drugs do you do?" Not, "Do you do drugs?" but what kind, haha. It's usually the drug addicts themselves who ask these questions.

    "Do you like working here?" If I didn't like it, I wouldn't be here. Also, guys always complain that girls whine about their club, other girls, etc. BUT, they are all asking me if I like working there. This seems to be incouraging complaints.

    Any question about boyfriend, other than if I have one or not. Any question about him is in order to find a fault that they can use to make themselves look better. "Does he like that you dance?" If yes, he's scum, if no, you would have no problem with it. "How old is he" if you're old, he's too young, and older men are better. "What does he do?" this always backfires on them. They're hoping he's some minimum wage worker and they'll outshow him. Ugh. I'm not answering any questions about him anymore.

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