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Thread: do you spank your kids?

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    do you spank your kids?

    I just watched a dr. phil episode I had on my tivo list. It's kind of an old episode. There was a couple on the show where the mom was very anti-spanking to their 2 year old and the dad was all for it. The clips they showed of the kid, you could see how much of a difficult child he was. He spit on his mom and hit her.
    I always think, "just spank him!" But then again, I don't have children so i really don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
    I know there are a ton of mommas on here. What do you ladies think about it? Just curious.

  2. #2
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    i spank my boyfriend..!

    haha sorry. i don't have a lot of tolerance for kids and i don't particularly like them, nor do i have any desire at all to have any of my own. i don't think i'd ever actually spank one, although sometimes when i see those undisciplined little shits in shopping centers who keep running into me and squealing and swinging their arms into things... it's very tempting! hah.

  3. #3
    Cally
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I have a short fuse.. and I was beaten as a kid by my father and my mom didnt hesitate to spank me... Im sure id spank my kids.. I know when I used to babysit and the kids would get crazy id spank them... When I realised I was to short tempered to babysit I quit. Though I did babysit one kid who was so out of hand his mother told me to spank him if he got out of hand. I mean this is the kind of kid that would come after you with a knife. But yea umm I dont think id be a good mom. I want kids but I dont... I think I need to wait a few years to calm my temper. I know as long as I think I would spank them I wont have kids because I dont want to be the abusive mom.

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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I was spanked as a kid and I think I'd probably spank my kids if I ever have any. I wasn't like beaten or anything, just spanked. I KNEW not to act up in the store or at home cuz I knew what was coming if I did.

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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    Yeah, in really severe situations I would. I could see it happening, like, once a year.
    But, I'm not a mum yet either.

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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I used to spank my kids, then it started hurting me. Now I only spank if I have to.

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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I dont have kids, but I'm Pro-Whopping kids! I dunno..when I watch Nanny 911 or those other shows, I find myself just pissed off with high blood pressure looking at the TV. Bad ass kids...







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    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I have 3 kids all with the same daddy that have grown up with spankings. they know when they are wrong and when she can argue the right side of

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    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I don't agree with the whole "oh honey, take a timeout" aspect of things, but I have never hit my kids, either. I had the holy hot shit beat out of me as a kid, and honestly, it didn't do anything but make me figure out ways to be more devious so I wouldnt get hit again. I'm not the "hey, let's be friends, we're cool right?" type of dad, but I would rather have my children respect me for who I am rather than fear me because they think I'm going to beat the crap out of them. If it came down to it, would I? Yeah, but like...once. And I know that's all it would take, one smack. And my kids would be mortified. And it would work. Once.

    But those kids that scream bloody murder in public, and their parents ignore them? I want to punch the parent, because 9 times out of 10 they're the one that truly deserve it.
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  10. #10
    Tart
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    moderation and "right"reasons are the key.

    Im a mother and let me tell you. If more parents took to the whoopin there would be less back talking , rude ass kids roaming .

    Trust me on this.

    I dont spank and never had to ...wanna know why? Because I mean buisness. there is no questioning mom.

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    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    Exactly, Tart. Don't make me bust out the Daddy Voice. My girls will actually cry, just from me bustin' out the voice. I dunno, I guess in some situations an asswhoopin' is called for, but mainly I think beating your kids is a cop out. "I can't figure out any other way to deal with this, so...I'll hit you." Again, it's all about respect, and respect is earned. I wouldn't respect someone who gave 3 shits about me and just hit me when I didn't take the trash out, ya know?

    Oh, but that Nanny 911 show? FUCK THAT. Are those people for real?
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I'm not a mom, but I'm anti kid hitting in any form, however mild. I consider it abuse.

    I could see restraining the kid yeah, but I don't really think spanking or whacking the kid accomplishes anything. And if the kid is lashing out like that, there's usually something behind the behaviour that needs to be resolved.

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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beauty's Release
    I'm not a mom, but I'm anti kid hitting in any form, however mild. I consider it abuse.
    Try violent shaking. I hear it's just as effective.

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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    Ha ha ha...




    Child abuse has serious consequences. Shaking is a terrible thing to do. I also think joking about it is pretty fucked, but perhaps my sense of humour is impaired.

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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    Try violent shaking. I hear it's just as effective.

    You should be ashamed!!! I "assume" that's sarcasm talking.

    Well, for me, my daughter is going on 14 months and has started her terrible twos a little early. I am wondering WHEN I can start spanking her. Her temper tantrums get out of control sometimes. I admit it is partially my fault because I have really spoiled her up to this point but I didn't think she would have memory retention like she does now. For the time being I just go stick her in her crib, shut the door and let her scream her head off until she stops. It is probably more painful for me than it is her though, I am sure.




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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrChristopher
    I'm not the "hey, let's be friends, we're cool right?" type of dad, but I would rather have my children respect me for who I am rather than fear me because they think I'm going to beat the crap out of them.
    As long as, in the heart of the parent, the goal is to discipline the child, and maintain respect as an authority figure in the child's life because the parent loves them, I am all for any form of action the parent deems necissary.

    However I'm with darcy. no kids.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I have done it. It wasn't very effective... Everytime I recognized that the feelings I was feeling wasn't discipline driven, it was me being out of control... My own personal temper tantrum.

    I have been consciously making an effort to do other discipline methods... I am not going to tell other people what to do with their kids, I find that in America at least, everyone has something to say about everyone elses ideas on child rearing... And the kids know it...

    I count my daughter (3 1/2) down. Which means I count to 3... if the ick behaviour hasn't changed by 3, she gets a time out... During the time out I ignore her. I don't look at her, I don't talk to her, I don't talk ABOUT her, etc... If the behaviour gets worse... I say, take 15 and LOCK her in her room. If she trashes her room it stays like that for a week. We have only had one 15 min time out since we started this "new' time out thing... and most of the time, I only get to 2. So, it is working for me. There is no screaming, no hitting... and I love the way she responds... I tell her to do something and she does it... It's great.
    Last edited by Classic'sMontana; 08-11-2006 at 05:21 AM. Reason: added paragraph breaks and some words I forgot.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I have four kids and I do not spank them. I was not spanked as a kid either. Some people close to me belive in it and thats fine for them i do not judge it just not for me.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I'll spank Makayla...but only when it's something that time-outs aren't working for. Makayla has a very stubborn personality and every once in a while gets these attitudes that just don't shake. USUALLY, if I take her out of the situation and put her somewhere that she doesn't want to be and make her sit there until her attitude changes, it works. However, one time we were at the store and she was being a terror...completely. Running off, hiding in the clothes (and this wasn't because she was playing...it was because she was throwing a temper tantrum because I wouldn't buy her something she wanted) screaming, giving me lip (sticking her tongue out). When I finally caught her, I picked her up, put her in the cart and told her, "This is your last warning, if you keep up this behavior, I will take you to the bathroom and spank you. It's your choice." What did she do? She stuck her tongue out at me and kicked me in the leg. So, I just looked at her, said, "Ok. You made your choice." and walked her to the bathroom. She freaked and starting saying, "I won't be that way anymore. I don't want a spanking." So, we get to the bathroom, I spanked her and then I held her and when she was done crying I talked with her... "Why did you get your spanking...how could you have avoided getting a spanking?"

    To me, that was completely over the top behavior for her. And, she was out of control. Putting her in the cart wasn't working...she was just being aggressive and disrespectful. I think if you make the choice to spank your child, you do so out of love and not anger. I don't grab Makayla and just start swinging and I don't "surprise her" with it. She KNOWS what it feels like to be spanked...she KNOWS it will happen if she keeps doing something after her warning. She's making that CHOICE to keep it up. It's my job as a parent to follow through with what I say. It's my job as a parent to make sure that she realizes that there are consequences to her choices.

    I will use every other method I know to have to keep from spanking her. I'll talk with her, I'll give her a time out, I'll give her a last warning...but she knows (consistency) that if she pushes it past that last warning, she's going to get her spanking. Usually, it's nipped in the bud by talking with her and giving her the choices, (If you do this, then this will be your consequence...if you keep doing this, then this is the consequence. Take your pick) but every once in a while, it takes a more "memorable" consequence.

    I don't believe that spanking should be used for every little infraction. I never hit Makayla's hands when she was being curious and getting into every single little thing around the house. I child-proofed my house to the point that if it was out, it was fair game. I don't believe in not allowing the child total freedom in the house. You set boundaries, but you don't spend your day telling your child No all the time and smacking their hands when they touch something you don't want them to. That's for them to learn when they get older. You allow them to explore. I still do the same things now. I'm allowing Makayla the freedom to go outside and play...even if I am still in the house. But, there are consequences to the choices she's making out there (I keep an eye on her from the house). If she leaves the boundaries that I have put down for her (no leaving the back yard at all for any reason) then she loses the priviledge of being outside "by herself" for 1 day. I remind her of this and by giving her choices, I find that I don't have to spank her...I rarely have to time her out...I can usually just give her 2 choices. One choice that will have a positive outcome and one that will have a negative...and let her choose and let her experience the consequence of that choice.

    Spanking doesn't have to be "abusive". It's not "destroying the child's soul" or whatever mumbo-jumbo is going around now. If it's used properly (and sparingly) it's beneficial. Sometimes out of control behavior needs a strong deterrent. I firmly believe in speaking with the child and reminding them WHY they got the spanking (I would not spank a child over the age of 6 and if disciplining is done properly, it won't be needed).

    Anyways, a long post short. It can be a useful tool...if used for the right purposes.

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    This is always a touchy subject...

    Nope. I've never spanked any of my kids. I won't either. It is not necessary. I was spanked as a child---for starters. Then came the lovely belt, then the fists. I had 2 teeth knocked out, which made my "adult" teeth grow in crooked and I needed braces to correct it, and my older Sister got a few shiners, because our father couldn't control his temper. My brother was also kicked down a flight of stairs when he was 2. Kids are going to be kids. They're going to make noise and run around like crazy animals, and they're going to test limits. It's their job---and it's your job to know your limits.

    If your kids grow up fearing you, they're going to grow up hating you as well. My Father died alone at just 39 years old, with only his second wife beside him, even though all of us kids (4 of us) knew he was dying, and I had the opportunity to go see him while he was on his deathbed. I didn't--because I hated him for what he'd done all those years ago. When the hospital called and let us know that he didn't have much time left, I said "Good.. Let the fucker die alone."

    Time-Outs have always worked for me, because my kids are all very active. If you tell them they must sit down and not do anything at all, they go crazy nuts because they're the types that have to stay active.

    My Ex and I always agreed on that with my 2 oldest. Dan and I agree on it with Delia to some extent, although there have been times where he's threatened to swat Delia on the butt. If he ever did, no matter how little the "swat" on her butt would be, his shit would be packed and left on the front step for him. It only takes once for me. He knows this.

    Kids need to see you as the authority figure, but they also need to see you as someone who protects them. You shouldn't be a pushover of course, but you shouldn't take your frustrations out on your kids either. If you feel the need to hit your kids--YOU need the time-out, not them.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tart
    moderation and "right"reasons are the key.

    Im a mother and let me tell you. If more parents took to the whoopin there would be less back talking , rude ass kids roaming .

    Trust me on this.

    I dont spank and never had to ...wanna know why? Because I mean buisness. there is no questioning mom. I
    Exactly!! I wasn't whopped as a child either (ok 1 time, but I admit I was in the wrong) but that was because I was a good kid. My mom raised my sisters and I to respect our elders, and when we go out to be on our best behavior. My mom never yelled...she would just give the LOOK more like MrChristopher's "daddy voice"

    Now I will say, that I plan on using the same methods that my mom has used on me growing up. I personally think my sisters and I came out just fine

    Quote Originally Posted by mrchristopher
    But those kids that scream bloody murder in public, and their parents ignore them? I want to punch the parent, because 9 times out of 10 they're the one that truly deserve it.
    Oh, dont get me started on those ladies...I tend to give them the "LOOK" like my mom gave me as a child hahahaha. Usually the mom will look away and scold her child cause she knows she wrong for lettin that child roam the store and act the way he/she does!







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    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    No spanking. I was never spanked and don't beleive in it. If spanking worked, you would only have to spank your child once. My sisters and I knew our parents meant business and we were not to cross the line. This came out of respect and a good healthy dose of fear. The kind of fear that makes you stop and think of what may happen. All I had to think about was how much trouble I would be in and how mad my parents would be at me if I go caught, and thats all that I needed to stop me dead in my tracks from doing something stupid. My sisters and I were only afraid of two things, God and our parents. We knew one of them would catch us and punish us. And to be quite honest with you, I was more afraid of being punished by my parents then by God. God is a lot more forgiving than parents are. Wild kids are due to a lack of respect for their parents and rules. They've been raised without boundaries and limits. Kids need boundaries and limits. It makes them feels secure. Those same boundaries and limts that once made them feel secure with be the same ones that they'll rebell against as teens one day. But one day your payoff will be that your child is now a young adult that's confident, secure, respectful and happy. Someone you can be proud to send off into the world.

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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    I used to spank because that was how I grew up: My dad spanked me. But I found it was ineffective and made me feel like shit. Plus the only reason I "behaved" as a child was because I was terrified of being spanked. As a result, I learned to lie to avoid a spanking and I grew up resenting my father. Great things to learn, huh?

    My son is obviously waaaay too old (15) and my daughter is too, imo (10). Besides, restriction from priveliges, sleepovers and personal electronics is soooooo much more effective, particularly for a tween girl.


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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    Sometimes, kids just won't understand logic, so spanking is the only way to put the association in their minds. I really like VenusGoddess's method, especially the way she talks to the kid afterwards to make the kid realize what she did wrong. IMHO, too many parents don't do that. I have sworn that I will avoid telling my kids, "Because I said so," because my aunt and uncle and parents used to laugh in my face and get power trips. How mature.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you spank your kids?

    Never spanked my stepson, but he is a pretty good kid. It never had to come to that, ever. He would sometimes act like a butt-head but it never came down to needing to spank him.

    Now I just talk him to death if his behavior is inappropriate. For a 12 year old that is about the worst torture ever, lots of guilt interspersed with "This is what you did wrong and why it is wrong" type of stuff.

    He knows I mean business if I say to him in a flat monotone voice "You need to stop talking now." That statement get'shim stomping off to his room for half an hour at least.


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